Chapter Ten

Learning to Love

Erik had awoken from his pleasant dream to an even more pleasant sensation upon his lips. Breathing in he inhaled what could only be Meg's memorable scent. He let his lips respond as they wished. In his dreams no one would chastise him for taking advantage of Meg's generous nature.

Hearing the voices of others then remembering the little bundle beside him Erik groaned inwardly. Opening his eyes he was caught by the fire in Meg's own eyes. Nothing in her look spoke of anything other than what he knew to be in his own eyes as well. They wanted one another only as two people can who find the other person who fit every idea they had of completing their life. Foolishly he had let his obsession with Christine cloud too many of those precious years he could have gotten to know Meg more intimately.

Erik had put Christine in that place where Meg should always have been. He had been led astray by his music and Christine's angelic voice. Real lasting emotional attachments came with knowing someone over time. Lust could lead us to believe we loved but without anything else to build upon that fire did eventually fade without anything to fuel it over the long span of a person's life. Sharing artistic interests could fuel a passion for many years but one needed more than a passion for the arts to maintain sexual passion and to weather life's troubles.

Contrary to what Erik thought Meg did not scramble hastily away from him. She remained leaning over him with her lips mere inches from his own. No one could mistake what had taken place or perhaps what would have taken place had they not intruded upon the couple. Meg deliberately lingered over Erik's prone figure wishing to once and for all convey to everyone how she felt about him. She felt no shame in loving him so why must she hide her emotions? There was also the little niggling voice informing her that this would clearly lay her claim upon Erik's affections in Christine's presence. Christine had been somewhat different the last few days but Meg wanted no doubts lingering where she and Erik were concerned.

Raoul cast a quick glance toward his wife. He felt his hands tightening upon the cold glass in his hands. Much more pressure and the glass would shatter. Christine had a pleased smile upon her face. She turned to Raoul catching him looking between her and Erik. Reaching out she extended a reassuring hand to Raoul. She had a lot to make up to him. It may take some time to win back Raoul's complete trust but she felt the effort to be worth whatever he required of her.

Christine felt she might always feel some small amount of jealousy toward whoever Erik would chose to share his life with. It would be hard to let go completely of the image she had instilled in her from early childhood. He had been her father, savior, hero, teacher, role model and first physical awakening. It would be only natural to feel possessive of him and feel jealous of his affections. Did all girls not feel jealous of their fathers?

She could allow herself to feel all those emotions without wanting to change one moment of her life with Raoul. Christine felt she had at last begun her first steps on the road to being a mature woman. She had a long way to go but with Raoul at her side Christine felt she could conquer whatever the world placed in her path.

Antoinette had at first been unsettled to come upon Meg hovering over Erik in what could only be a compromising position. Even if she had known Meg had gone to Erik immediately upon their return it still startled her. Her motherly instincts had almost had her going to Meg and pulling her all the way back to England. That had only lasted for a few seconds then the realization hit that this had been what she had wanted for Meg and Erik. At last it seemed they may be on the right path.

Antoinette allowed Meg and Erik a few more moments to exchange silent messages before she called to Meg to take Erik his glass of lemonade. Meg smiled one last time down at Erik before trailing her hand across his lips in a lingering caress. The resulting fire glowing in Erik's eyes pleased her. Perhaps he at last was on his way to relinquishing the hold Christine had on him. Meg did feel more confident about Erik's response to her. Time and patience would reap Meg her greatest reward she felt sure.

Meg left Erik still lying on the blanket bemused as well as painfully aroused. The infant beside him gurgled and blew spit bubbles as he nearly crossed his eyes trying to focus in on Erik. Erik did not mind having been aroused then left to his own devices. This time he knew it had nothing to do with his face or fear of him. Meg had sensibly gone to join the others.

Erik gave Christine and Raoul both concerned glances. He expected one or both of them to rush to their child's rescue the moment they returned. Neither seemed overly concerned at the moment. Erik did not know if he could be so trusting if the roles were reversed. If a child of his came anywhere near another person with a past similar to his own Erik would build an impregnable wall around his home barring the cruel outside world.

This revelation had Erik considering another side to his decision to have or not have children. What kind of father would a former murderer, blackmailer, kidnapper and general Phantom and Opera Ghost be? Had he left that life far enough behind that he could be trusted to build the character of a vulnerable child? On his own perhaps not but Erik felt that with Meg to guide him he could slay any dragon that would threaten his child, including his own darker nature. Meg brought out a side of Erik that only Christine had tapped into as a child. Meg dug even deeper into those inner recesses of the man Erik wished to become.

Erik felt his namesake stirring more energetically. The small face beside him had puckered lips and a face so red it concerned Erik greatly. Erik tentatively patted the tiny tummy just as a surprisingly loud cry filled the air. Raoul hearing his child's cry told Christine he would get his son. Raoul wished to speak to Erik without anyone else being within hearing. He had nothing detrimental to say but did not think he or Erik would appreciate any witnesses to their conversation.

Raoul dropped down beside Erik on the other side of his now wiggling offspring. The little fists waved in the air agitatedly as his cries grew in volume. Raoul could not help the loving glance he directed toward his son. His heart felt ready to explode with the amount of love filling his heart at that moment. Just as Raoul reached for his son Erik jerked his hand back. Erik's movement drew Raoul back to the dual purpose for volunteering to fetch Little Erik. He wished to bring some sort of peace between him and the man Christine had loved for many years creating a special link between the two of them.

Raoul would always feel a little bit of competition for Christine's whole heart but felt confident enough in the reaffirmation of their love these last few days to have the certainty that although Erik occupied some small space in Christine's heart, he and their son, Little Erik held the greater portion of it. They alone had Christine's complete loyalty. Raoul knew this now beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"Erik I wish to speak plainly with you. Our meetings have not come about in the normal way most men meet or even in how they compete for a woman's hand. The past is just that, the past. We were both different men back then. I can say this to you with all honesty, back at the opera house I did not behave in a gentlemanly fashion. I know you did not show your best side either but I have since come to think that if I had perhaps let Christine handle things in a different manner we would not have ended up at one another's throats."

Erik remained sitting silently looking straight ahead. Raoul hoped that did not indicate any foreboding behavior about to occur. Just to be safe Raoul picked up his son ready to jump up and run at the first sign of violence from Erik.

"If you and I had been different men at the time we may have been able to strike a bargain how to proceed in our pursuit of Christine. I had been so used to getting everything I wanted when I wanted it. Nothing had ever really been denied me. I had loving parents while you…well best not bring that up I suppose," Raoul said as he cast a quick glance in Erik's direction. Still the man beside him made no move.

"What I wanted to ask, for everyone concerned, is that could we be, if not friends, then at least not mortal enemies? I have no wish to be at war with you any longer. I have so much more to occupy me now that I do not want to waste one second longer harboring useless anger and resentment toward anyone."

Erik sat silently digesting all Raoul had said. For one so young Erik had to concede Raoul had grown into a fine man. A much better man than he himself could claim to be. Searching deeply within himself Erik could find not one iota of any negative emotion lingering toward either Raoul or Christine. He had wasted far too much of his life living with a chip on his shoulder against humanity. Now seemed the opportune time to lay all those old ghosts to rest.

"Raoul…" Erik paused as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. "Raoul I too would like to begin things with a clean slate as it were. I have many regrets not the least of which is the way I manipulated Christine's trusting heart and mind. If I had revealed myself to her earlier she may not have been able to love me the way I needed to be loved but I should have at least given her that choice. How could I have expected things to turn out any differently? I can now say with total honesty that I am relieved not to be tied with the responsibility of delivering Christine's happiness," Erik said with palpable relief in his tone.

Thinking he may have insulted Christine he quickly said, "I mean no disrespect by saying that but just recently I have been enlightened as to my feelings for someone else, someone who had been right under my very nose, if I had only taken the time to take a closer look in her direction. I fear I let my love of music and desperation to have it performed place all my hopes and dreams squarely on Christine's far too fragile shoulders," he said hanging his head briefly in shame.

"Without going into the whole sorry mess that had been my childhood I can only say in my defense that I had not had the opportunity to learn how to cope with emotions or anything even hinting at the gentler side most people are able to share with others. As you may or may not have guessed the person I am referring to is Meg. I have found her to be an extraordinary woman. She has the patience of a saint. Believe me if anyone would know it would be me. I have tested her over the last few months. In return she has been nothing but kind and considerate for my wellbeing. Amazing as it still seems to me, Meg has indicated that she returns my regard. I think we may even be unofficially courting if a man such as I can expect such a thing. With Meg nothing sounds impossible." He paused a moment for Raoul to take in and consider all he had said before continuing on.

"So, Raoul, I do believe we can consider ourselves past antagonists who will endeavor to form some sort of cordiality to please the women in our lives. Shall we shake hands to cement our agreement as well as give those watching us with the eyes of a hawk a clear indication that we will not be heading for the nearest weapons. I for one do not relish having Antoinette set about me with the nearest rock at her feet. She is a formidable woman when in defense of those she loves. I can't say as I like how your cousin is eyeing me either. I had thought he and I had come to terms days ago. You are truly blessed to have such a person as a family member."

Raoul glanced quickly over to where Aubrey had taken up a protective stance just a few feet from them. He had his hand on the hilt of his sword. Raoul had not even realized Aubrey had brought his weapon. It had only just occurred to Raoul to wonder why he himself had forgone arming himself today. Had he foreseen that today would be a day to bury all old grievances? Raoul did not think himself clairvoyant or that intelligent. It had simply been a case of having other things on his mind. He had not really thought Erik would have a go at him under the circumstances. There were far too many witnesses.

Erik and Raoul climbed to their feet then with a great show of camaraderie they clasped hands while Erik patted Raoul upon his shoulder. Erik felt as if a boulder that he had not known about had just fallen from him. Letting go of past grievances apparently could be a freeing experience. To show that he meant all that he said Raoul offered Erik his namesake. Erik eagerly took Little Erik into his arms once more.

As Raoul looked upon Erik and his son he did not see the same crazed killer from Paris. He could not say Erik had lost all of that darker side but he had learned to control it, or perhaps it was Meg who controlled Erik thereby controlling those inner demons Erik had hounding him for most of his life. Raoul for one would be glad not to feel he needed to sleep with one eye open and his hand manacled around his wife's wrist. Christine had been sleeping better since coming to terms with her relationship with Erik. For that Raoul thanked Erik heartily even if the gesture remained unspoken. Christine had been returned to him a warmer more mature woman. She seemed to have found a new confidence within herself. Raoul could not help thinking that all they had needed really had been a little time without worries to grow up. Maturity brought wisdom.

Everyone seemed to take on new life during the remainder of the picnic. Meg coaxed Erik into singing. He had not sung in front of another human being since the night of Don Juan Triumphant. Erik sang a love ballad as he trained his full attention on Meg. No one could doubt who the ballad was meant to sway into a romantic interlude. Judging by Meg's enraptured look Erik would not be disappointed later when they had a private moment