So guy's I'm lazy, like immensely lazy, I'm still doing exams and I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep! Maybe after this. All I can say is...WHAT THE FUCK 190 REVIEWS!? I asked for 175 and you gave me 15 more! 33 IN TOTAL! Amazing, so I'm updating!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but I'm currently wishing I owned the lead singer of the Script. Mm Yeah.
Sorry for typo's its 3:10 am, ive been awake 23hrs50 mins so far lol! havent read it through but oh well, i feel sick with tiredness so bleugh
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I felt a breath hitch in my throat, what the hell...
I shrugged Shane's hand off, as I could feel his concerned eyes burn into the side of my head, yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from the person who stood before me, their eyes now meeting mine.
They hadn't changed. Not one bit.
I inhaled a deep breath, my chest heaving as a result, storming up my porch, leaving a perplexed Shane behind me
"Why the hell are you here?" I spat out, my voice as cold as ice, I waited for a reply, yet instead a small smile crept to their lips
"Michelle! My darling how I've missed you" they exclaimed with a lightheaded tone, engulfing me in their arms, twirling me around slightly.
My body stiffened, wanting to reject any feeling or acknowledgement for this poor excuse of a person in front of me. My eyes met with a confused Shane, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure what was happening before him, and to be honest, so was I.
I pulled away with force, pushing them as far away as possible "Don't darling me" I hissed "and I haven't missed you, not one bit."
Did I sound harsh?
Yes?
Fantastic. I am glad.
Their face fell, before a hint of anger glimmered in their eyes "That's no way to talk to your-"
"My what?" I shot back "My mother? Because I'm pretty sure you resigned from the role a long time ago"
Yes that's right, my mother. The one and only
The one person who I wish would fuck out of my life forever.
The reason why I spontaneously packed up my life with Caitlyn and moved half way across the country.
She looked at me with pleading eyes "Please darling, I flew all this way..."
"For absolutely nothing, so do me a favour and fuck off back to New Jersey. Or hell, whichever one will do me just fine"
"Mitchie?" I heard a voice, causing me to snap my head around,
Shit, I forgot he was standing there. He made his way towards the path, his eyes never leaving mine as he stopped beside me, slinging an arm around me as a sign of support.
Who was I to object to a little Shane interaction?
"Who is this Michelle dear?" her sickenly sweet voice, ringing through my ears once more, I swear they were now bleeding.
I narrowed my eyes "None of your business"
"Is he your boyfriend?" she sounded genuinely interested as I scoffed in utter disbelief, where Shane on the other hand was sporting a nice pink tint to his cheeks.
"Oh wouldn't you just love that! Why? Do you want to fuck him? Or do you save that for your daughter's boyfriends?!"
Yeah that's right, my mother is a cradle snatcher, a whore, a cheater, slag, slut, hoe, bitch, liar, conniving useless piece of crap.
I saw Shane's jaw fall to the ground out of the corner of my eye, as my mother looked like she had just been shot.
"Michelle, I'm so sorry, please can we just talk things over" I looked towards her feet, 3 large suitcases, propped up on their wheels, nah something isn't right about this.
"Why is all your things with you Susan" I emphasised her name, hoping she would get the message that she had well and truly lost the right to be my mother.
Her eyes snapped down towards the floor, as an ashamed expression spread across her face. He'd done it; my dad had finally grown a pair and chucked the bitch out.
"He threw you out didn't he?" finally he saw sense!
I didn't need an answer, her silence answered for it.
It's amazing how my life can do a 180 in a matter of minutes, I had had one of the best days I can remember today, hanging with Shane, and now she has to turn up and rub salt into wounds which I have barely managed to heal.
I ran my hands through my hair fustratedly, angry at her, at this situation, hell I was even angry at Shane, just because he had to see all of this.
"What did you do now?" I asked, she had a track record, she had brought shame to me and my family with her incapability of keeping her legs closed
She looked back up at me, her long brown hair, tied up in a messy bun highlighting her face, prominent bags under her eyes, her face naked of any make-up, she looked a mess. And this certainly wasn't like her.
My mother didn't go out the house unless her face was so caked up with make-up that you could literally scrape it off with a shovel, her hair had to be curled to perfection and he lips had to be a rogue red colour.
And now she looks...normal.
She bit her lip, avoiding eye contact with me
"You strayed again?" which in answer she simply nodded
She was unbelievable; didn't her marriage vows mean anything to her? Her faith? What happened to the commandment condemning adultery?
"Who was it?" My home town wasn't big, everyone knew everyone. Secrets got around, and so did people...look at my mother a prime example
"Ben" she whispered almost inaudibly
My heart abruptly stopped in my chest and shattered, Ben...Ben...my Ben. I closed my eyes not wanting to cry in front of her, let alone Shane whose arm was now hanging loosely around my waist, as he clung onto me.
I was shaking, with emotion.
Anger, sadness, disappointment.
Ben.
My best friend.
My first love.
Ben Jones.
"Y-You told me you stopped" I allowed my voice to crack as my voice rose "You told me that it was a onetime thing!" I pulled away from Shane's protective grasp, throwing my hands up in the air
"And you really thought that I would even consider talking to you, or even letting you into my house after what you did? And what you're obviously still DOING!"
My chest was heaving up and down, my breathing heavy, my blood practically boiling.
Tears were running freely down her face "You've got to understand me Michelle, I never meant to hurt anyone, I swear" she faked a sincere voice.
I closed my eyes, trying to process the information as the shame and embarrassment of even looking at her was getting too much for me
"Leave" I said quietly
"Please Michelle, I hear me out, let me explain!" her voice was desperate as she gripped onto my shoulders, shaking me. I looked into her blurry eyes, glazed with tears
"No" I shook my head "I never thought I could be anymore disappointed and ashamed to call you my mother than I was, but now..." I let my voice trail off as it got quieter and quieter
"Please leave...mom."
She reluctantly pulled up the handles to her luggage and passed by us on the porch, her tears still spilling from her eyes, before stopping at the end of the porch "I know it doesn't mean a lot Michelle, but I really never meant to hurt you. Maybe one day I can earn your trust again, bye darling"
I stood in silence; my body frozen to the ground as I heard the scrapping of the wheels against the pavement get fainter.
I fumbled through my bag for my keys, all I wanted now was a strong drink and my bed, as uncomfortable as it was, it was my safe haven, my security.
"Yes" I muttered as I pulled out the key and scrambled to the door, Shane still in toe. I didn't want him to come in, but I didn't want to turn him away.
I didn't want company
But I didn't want him to leave me.
I didn't want to talk about it
But I wanted to tell him everything
My head was now throbbing with a combination of laughing, screaming and scoffing all in the past hour, as I threw myself on my bed.
"Fuck my life" I grumbled into my pillow.
I felt the bed dip, indicating that Shane had invited himself into my room and on to my bed.
"Mitchie" he started softly, his voice cautious, he knew I was on the edge, he had seen my anger on numerous occasions now, and anyone who has experienced my wrath knows to steer well clear.
I let out a small groan in acknowledgement
"Are you okay?" Wow Mr Grey, was I okay? Let me see....
NO.
"Yeah" I replied
"Liar" he shot back in a playful yet serious tone
I readjusted myself on the bed, flipping myself over, so that I was now facing the ceiling "she ruined everything, she knew no good could ever come from it"
"What?" he asked intrigued. I knew that now was the defining moment, I was either going to change the subject and force him to leave, or I was going to let him in, tell him my insecurities and my sob story. Something I haven't done in a long time, and certainly didn't intend to.
Especially with Shane Grey.
"It was last summer" I began as I took in a deep breath "I had been forced to go to this camp for a week to volunteer, camp rock. It was a work experience placement as an instructor for the production classes. Part of me was looking forward to going, to get experience, to get one step closer to my dream, But then again I didn't want to leave home. My family...Ben. Ben was my childhood friend turn boyfriend. We knew each other from birth; our mothers were friends, that was until his mother passed when he was fifteen. We crossed that line from friendship to relationship when we were 14. I had had a crush on him, since I could remember, yet I never thought he saw me as anymore than 'Mitchie, my friend who happens to be of the female gender'. So when he asked me out I was over the moon. "
I glanced over at Shane, who was looking at me, listening intently with a soft understanding expression across his face
"We dated for three years before I went to the camp, we were serious, we had exchanged the whole I love you and we y'know...I thought he was the one, but I guess I was naive... I came home on the Friday, excited because I managed to leave a few hours earlier, ready to surprise Ben. But it turned out it was me that was in for the surprise. I pulled to his house, both cars gone, indicating that his parents were at work. So I pulled out my spare key for his house, used in emergencies, but then again I thought a surprise was worth it. The house was near enough silent besides a muffling noise coming from his room."
I shut my eyes, unwillingly reliving the moment
"I thought he was on the phone, or talking to someone via Xbox, so I made my way up the stairs as quietly as possible, my heart literally jumping out my chest at how excited I was to see him. I got to the door, it was closed. He NEVER closed his door. The noises were louder and they confused me, but I didn't think too much of it, I was seeing my boyfriend for crying out loud, I didn't have time to hallucinate about things. So I opened the door and..."
I paused, the words about to roll of my tongue not spoken out loud to anyone else besides Caitlyn. But I had let Shane in. I trusted him, even after all we've been through I trusted him
"There he was, in a compromising position with my mom. I ran out, crying, screaming, I was heartbroken. Part of me thought that maybe our relationship wouldn't last forever and yeah the break up would be messy, but I didn't think I'd catch him having sex with my mother! She wasn't sorry, he acted sorry. She knew his mother for crying out loud. His mother was her friend, she had known him since I was born...everything was just so fucked up! My dad got depressed, my mum was out adding another notch to her bedpost every night, and my heart and been well and truly ripped out of my chest. Then news got round, it's a small town, it was inevitable. The humiliation was too much to bear, my dad was a wreck, my mom was a whore and I couldn't live with any of it hanging over me. I wanted a fresh start, which led me here."
By the end of my little story, Shane's face was unreadable, after all its not everyday someone tells you about how her mother sleeps with her boyfriends.
"He was my best friend. Knew all my insecurities, he was part of the family, and he crushed me by sleeping with my mom...they weren't even drunk, they had no justification. And she was my mom she heard me gush about him on a daily basis, she was the one I confided with, she was supposed to protect me, not destroy me. No mother does that. But...well, after that she wasn't my mother any longer. She was dead to me. As was Ben. As was New Jersey"
I felt tears fall down my face as I realised I was crying, Shane pulled me into a hug as I let out silent sobs, my body jerking as he held tight. I was full of emotions, yet drained at the same time. He placed his chin on my head and mumbled
"You're amazing" he stated simply, causing me to pull away slightly and give him a look of confusion, care to elaborate? "You just told me something really personal, you let me in. After everything I've done to you. And after everything you've gone through...you just are, amazing"
My heart soared at his compliment, he close proximity, making me feel lightheaded...and god, he smelt good.
I was intoxicated.
And not by his Gucci cologne
But by Shane Grey himself
Oh shit.
This wasnt good.
Feelings for Shane Grey was NOT part of the job description!
So there you go,Mitchie's past BUT THERES MORE! OH THERES MORE! YOU'LL HAVE TO REVIEW TO FIND OUT
its 3:11 am currently and I got distracted by the Jonas web chat from 1-2am my time! I'm really tired so sorry if its rubbish I can't keep my eyes open
190 reviews at the moment 210 till next review,thats 20, but you gave me 33 last chapter so i know you can do it
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