It didn't take long for word to spread about a non-shinobi who protected the weak. In fact Naruto was more surprised it took a full month for rumors to spread about him. The more good deeds they did, the faster rumors went ahead of them and the more he saw tiny hammer charms carried by civilians. Loki found it more than slightly amusing, watching children run around with pretend hammers slaying bandits and helping civilians without asking payment in return.
More importantly was the way the shinobi themselves reacted. It was very obvious how they felt about someone going around using "jutsu" and going on 'missions' without demanding payment.
Such a concept was a threat to their entire way of life. After all, that much power should only belong in a shinobi, which Naruto most certainly wasn't.
In fact to...ahem...hammer that fact in, he went around explaining rather vocally WHY he wasn't in any shinobi army and had no desire to ever be in one.
He never lowered his voice, he never hid what the discussion was about while in bars, and as a result, every shinobi village in the Elemental Countries now knew the infamous tale of Mizuki and the boy who had left his village in search of a better life than Konoha.
Naturally the Konoha shinobi were all scrambling to dampen the fires that the story sprang, namely the upswing in enemy shinobi trying to pull a fast one and the sudden decrease in mission requests due to the lack of faith from their wealthy clients.
Suna couldn't be happier about the Leaf's predicament, because the clients that Konoha lost generally went to them and the other outlying villages. Sure, their Jinchuriki was a homicidal maniac, but at least they didn't outright try to sabotage his shinobi education or treat him unfairly...not that they could due to Gaara's ultimate defense and the fact he'd cheerfully kill them for it, but it was the principle of the thing.
The Village Hidden in the Sand was many things, but at least they didn't have the reputation of abusing children that Konoha was starting to get.
And it really didn't help that the civilians of Konoha didn't know to keep their mouths shut about the blond, so when discreet inquiries were made by enemy shinobi and other merchants, and they heard how the 'demon brat' used to terrorize the village with his pranks and how they were glad the brat was gone...well it didn't look good for the Leaf village.
Jiraiya grimaced when he heard yet another story about his home village. The public opinion of Konoha had really gone down hill lately since Naruto had finally reappeared on a public level. It would be a total public relations nightmare if Konoha tried to reclaim him right now. Especially since he had made it clear he didn't want to go back.
As if it wasn't bad enough that people outside the village (those who had no connection to the Kyuubi attack on the night Naruto was born, or any knowledge of the tailed beasts in general) finding out that even the civilians had been discreetly "trained" by the shinobi to treat an innocent child like a monster was not something the nobles wanted to hear.
Merchants were actively avoiding the village if they could, and the import to the village was slowly drying up. No one wanted to be associated with Konoha at the moment if they could avoid it.
Right now the only thing he wanted to do was get roaring drunk.
Even his own contacts wanted nothing to do with him.
So imagine his shock when he saw a familiar head of blond hair in a drinking contest with Tsunade herself!
"CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!" came the cheering section of a pair of drop dead gorgeous red heads, one of which looked remarkably like...
Jiraiya's jaw dropped as an inkling of horror came upon him.
"Kushina?!"
The older, and far more drunk red head blearily looked for the source of the incredulous choking sound, before cheerfully waving at him and then going back to cheering her son on to more drinking.
Tsunade slammed her sake cup down, and was grinning wildly. She was going to have the bitch of all hangovers in the morning, but dammit she was going to drink this upstart under the table even if it killed her liver!
By which point she'd promptly find a missing nin with her bloodtype and force Shizune to transplant their liver in place of her already dead one, along with the kidneys which needed replacing. It wouldn't be the first time, nor would it be the last.
"Another!" shouted Naruto, much in the manner of his father. He didn't smash the sake cup, because closer inspection revealed it to be made of pure gold.
After the first time he'd had a drinking contest with the weak glass, Naruto had had an epiphany (some would call it common sense) and had a custom sake glass made so that he could smash it on a table and it wouldn't break.
Coincidentally it was also the reason why Tsunade got into said drinking contest in the first place. She wanted that cup so she could sell it and get some serious cash for her gambling addiction.
Jiraiya was dumbfounded, until he was subtly maneuvered onto a clear table by a slicked-back black haired man with green eyes.
"They're not going to be in any condition to answer questions until dinner tomorrow at the earliest," he said sagely.
"...How?"
"Hmm?"
"How is she alive? I saw her body myself after the attack."
"Oh that. They were faked, and odds are the modified clones are gone by now. The graves were just for show after all," said the man.
Jiraiya stared, unable to comprehend what he was being told.
"I think I'll be needing a drink."
"Most certainly."
The man pulled out a jar, and it was filled with a sweet smelling liquid. He then brought out a pair of shot glasses.
Five shots later, and Jiraiya had said farewell to sobriety for the night. Meanwhile Tsunade's legendary liquor tolerance finally gave in to Naruto's own as she slid under the table and passed out. Naruto shot back one final drink, to the cheering of the crowd as Karin collected her bets.
Jiraiya couldn't believe what he was hearing. Minato was in fact a displaced god who had been sent to their planet to learn a lesson in humility. Naruto had somehow found the weapon which should have broken the seal on his father's memories, and was promptly reclaimed by his royal parents and was now heir apparent once Minato ascended to the throne the next time his dad took a sabbatical. The black haired, green-eyed man was in fact the other prince and Naruto's adopted uncle Loki.
Somehow Naruto and Karin had accidentally traveled to the past, and decided to kidnap Minato and Kushina rather than allow them to be trapped in Naruto's stomach like they were originally were.
And now Naruto and his small group were going around the Elemental Nations reclaiming the Uzumaki as a favor to the soon-to-be-Queen and so they could bolster the already impressive defenses of this 'Asgard' place.
He had to shake his head.
"I swear it sounds more like something out of a fairy tale for the nobles," said Jiraiya in disbelief.
"I could summon my father if you want, but last I checked he's been wanting to have a word with you after he found out you had never checked up on me growing up," said Naruto helpfully. Jiraiya winced.
Kushina had already kicked his ass in that regard.
"And that's not getting into the fact how pissed Grandmother was when she found out that you hadn't fulfilled your job. If you think the king's going to be bad to deal with, just wait till she gets through with you," continued Naruto far too cheerfully. Loki winced at the mere thought of Frigga.
"I'm confused," said Tsunade, who had only stuck around because she recognized Kushina once her hangover had passed.
"My grandparents are pissed because Jiraiya was appointed my godfather and never bothered to check on me," clarified Naruto.
"No, I'm confused as to how she's alive in the first place," said Tsunade.
"You don't remember the rather large sum of gold you were paid to fix a rush job on a recent mother about seventeen years ago?" said Naruto, raising an eyebrow.
Tsunade blinked, blearily tried to recall when that was, and then remembered.
"I retract my statement. So does this offer extend to all Uzumaki, or..."
"Oh yeah, I forgot you're mother was an Uzumaki too. Eir's going to love chatting with you," said Naruto, clicking his fingers.
"Lady Tsunade?"
"I'm sick of having to dodge debt collectors, and starting over entirely in a new world without the worry of somehow being dragged into being Hokage is way more appealing than sticking around."
"Plus there aren't any casinos, and you're more likely to become very welcome among the fighters since you can heal and fight," Naruto chirped in.
Shizune looked doubtful, until Kushina added the one thing that would guarantee she wouldn't cause a fuss.
"We can bring you back any time, and they have more ways to heal people. And without casinos and very little opportunities to gamble her life away, Tsunade might have a chance to heal. Besides, Eir's always looking for more people to teach," said Kushina.
"Just keep Ton Ton as far away from Volstagg as possible, otherwise he might try to eat him," said Naruto wisely. Loki snorted in agreement.
Tsunade grabbed anything she cared to take with her, and she left with Kushina when she went back to Asgard.
The cheerful (if fiery) red head mostly came back to her home world to get out of the extra etiquette lessons. She had to go through them once, she'd be damned if she had to go through it all over again.
Kushina cackled when Shizune took one look at Asgard and actually fainted.
"This is where you're going to be living?"
"Oh, it gets even better up close. Luckily they didn't mind teaching me how to pilot one of the ships...Loki's a better teacher than you'd think. Speaking of ships... here comes Min-Min with one now~!" said Kushina, spying a familiar head of hair.
Tsunade hid a grin as she watched Minato (who went by Thor) kiss his wife.
"How was the Elemental Countries?"
"Still as bad as ever. Should have seen that perverted toad's face when he finally found out we're alive."
Thor grinned evilly.
"Just wait, once Konoha tries to get our son back, Mother said she'll be paying the old monkey a personal visit to chew them out."
Tsunade grinned evilly.
"So what's this I heard about about some new healing techniques?" she asked hopefully.
"Lady Eir will probably enjoy debating healing magic and healing chakra," agreed Thor. She had certainly found what little Karin had known about the subject rather fascinating.
He eyed Ton Ton with a grin.
"We've already warned her about Volstagg. I can't wait to see Fandral's face when he tries to flirt with Tsunade," said Kushina. Thor let out a booming laugh, as he could easily see the result of that.
In the castle...
Eir and Tsunade hit it off almost immediately. Both of them were healers at heart, and the moment they saw it each other, they recognized a fellow doctor. When she heard the reasoning behind Tsunade's bad habits, she was rather sympathetic. The more she heard about these...shinobi, the less she liked the nonsense they put themselves through, all in the name of a false loyalty.
She could hardly blame Tsunade for being so willing to make a clean break from it all.
It didn't take long for her to set out a few cups of tea out while the two women debated healing techniques.
Soon they even had Frigga enjoying a nice cup of hot tea while they chatted.
"I must say, I'm surprised a...shinobi...chose to come here rather than stick around your realm," said Frigga.
"It didn't help that I'd been avoiding my own village for years already."
"Yes, your...village..." said Frigga with open distaste. Tsunade gave her a tired smile.
"Far be it from me to defend the honor of Konoha. My loyalty to them only extends to the point I'll not destroy it myself and I feel zero guilt forcing them to pay some of my debts occasionally. They screwed themselves over when they abandoned Naruto like that," said Tsunade flatly.
Frigga liked her more already.
"Lady Tsunade?" said Shizune uncertainly.
"It's alright Shizune. It's nice that we'll never have to worry about those idiots trying to drag me back again. As much as I respected Sarutobi-sensei once, he's brought this on himself and I'll not try to clean up the mess he created," said Tsunade.
"Mess?" repeated Shizune, not quite getting it. Tsunade sighed.
"His first mistake was letting Naruto's status as someone holding a bijuu out for the public. His second mistake was allowing the 'advisers' to be formed. His third mistake was not putting an end to the nonsense the civilians and shinobi pulled from the get-go around Naruto," said Tsunade. She sneered as she said "His final mistake was allowing the council to have a say when he should have forced Jiraiya to make Naruto his apprentice immediately after the nonsense with Mizuki, rather than allow the councils to essentially ban him and deciding his fate. If he had done his job, rather than be swayed by public opinion, then perhaps none of this would have happened."
Shizune winced. When she put it like that, it was technically the Third's fault that Konoha's reputation was going down the drain.