A/N: Reminder – This story was started quite a while ago, and as such the latest books are not included. This fic contains spoilers up to and including Pale Demon. A Perfect Blood and Ever After were unpublished when I began writing this, so act like those novels don't exist, okay? I will be incorporating some of the smaller moments from those books, but nothing very spoiler-ish. Anyway, I love you all for reading. Reviewers and commenters get freshly baked internet cookies. The more comments I get, the more motivated I am to write and finish what is started.

That being said, a special thank you goes out to 'ItchyWitch' and 'furygrrl' for their reviews on the last chapter. Seriously, you guys rock in the most epic of ways. I love you in a totally-platonic-but-I'll-still-help-your-fangirl- tendencies way. *hugs*

-x-x-x-

Even after sweeping the stone slab clear of snow and with the barrier of my coat between me and the concrete, it felt like sitting on a block of ice. I could have easily stepped into the ever-after and been spared the frigid weather, but I didn't know how my presence would be taken.

Pressing my palm to the wine colored glass, I took a deep breath. Calling Al, come in, Al.

Al's line. Whom may I say is calling?

The unexpected voice caught me off guard and I blinked in surprise. "Nick?"

What do you want? The messaged came tinged with fury and resentment, no longer the coolly impersonal greeting that threw me off guard. I asked what the fuck you wanted, bitch. Yep, definitely Nick.

"Put Al on."

No.

My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

You heard me. Go fuck someone else's life up, whore. The connection snapped shut and the force of him mentally slamming the door in my face nearly made me lose balance. I put my hand back on the glass.

Al's line. Whom may I-

"Put him on, now."

Fuck off. The connection broke again. I tried again.

Al's-

"Goddammit, Nick! Hang up on me again and I swear I'm coming over there myself!"

This time I was thrown back so hard it felt as if I was smashed in the face with a hammer. When I regained equilibrium, I was pissed off. With jerky movements I stuffed the mirror in my bag and stepped through the line. A sickly red landscape took shape and I drew a small circle around myself, knowing Al would feel it. I had done this a few times and knew better than to hang around on the surface and risk the lesser demons getting to me. Only a moment passed before a figure misted in front of the bubble. Unfortunately, it wasn't the someone I wanted to see.

"My, my. Rachel Mariana Morgan, what are you doing on this side of the lines?"

"Hi, Newt." By the time I finished speaking, she had transformed from her masculine robes to a feminine kimono with pink chrysanthemums embroidered along the hem.

Waving a painted fan slowly, she took in my appearance. "You wouldn't be here to speak with Gally, would you?" Her eyes narrowed as if daring me to contradict her.

"As a matter of fact, I am. His familiar refused to let me talk to him, so I came over in person."

"Hm." She considered this for a moment and smiled. I forcibly held back a flinch at her shark-toothed grin. "Since Gally doesn't seem to be available at the moment, let me escort you somewhere less… this."

My eyes widened. "Really, that's not necessary. I'm sure he-" I cut myself off when she touched my bubble with one finger and it disappeared.

"Nonsense. We demonesses must stick together, yes?" She took my arm in hers. "Your magic tastes lovely. Like coffee and… cocoa?" Newt cocked her head as she thought, licking her lips. "Yes. Cocoa."

"Uh…"

She closed the fan and tapped my nose with it. "It is of no matter. I shan't kill you yet. Care for a bite to eat?"

Without waiting for an answer, she misted us to a generic hallway. It stretched as far as the eye could see in both directions, broken up in equal intervals by plain wooden doors with tiny silver nameplates on each. She flung a door open and shoved me inside.

Ever-after washed over me and I squinted in the heat. My winter clothes had been replaced with khaki shorts and a blue tank top. Newt wore white shorts and a red t-shirt. She handed me a pair of sunglasses and I gratefully blocked out the blazing sun. Surprise, surprise, Dalliance had the desert showing again.

Dali himself rushed out from behind the car, where I assumed the kitchens were, a greasy smile on his face. "Newt, how lovely to see you again! And Rachel, too? How wonderful to-"

"Can it, Dali. Where can we sit?"

He took the clipboard from the host and frowned slightly. "I don't see a reservation…"

Newt raised an eyebrow and said nothing. I cleared my throat. "I didn't need one last time I was here."

Dali's eyes looked up from the paper and flicked from me to Newt and back again. "Yes, well…"

Cocking my hip, I gave him the look I reserved for misbehaving pixy kids. Newt glanced at me and copied the expression, her amusement clear with every breath. I knew I couldn't trust Newt with a blunt spoon but found myself enjoying the company, as dangerous as it was. It was better than sitting in the surface wasteland.

A muscle in Dali's jaw ticked. "This way, ladies." He led us towards the car-kitchen and I cleared my throat again. Without breaking stride he veered to the right towards an empty table near the edge of the picnic area. He waved towards the seats and before we had taken them, he was gone. A waiter appeared seconds later.

"Two bombers. Chicken for me. Rachel?"

Both Newt and the waiter turned to me. "Um, cheeseburger?" He smiled and walked away. Newt's gaze never left me. I had been subjected to her attention far too many times… oh, who am I kidding? With Newt, once was too many times. Regardless of how many times she sought me out, being around her was always a double-edged sword. On one hand, nobody was likely to mess with me. On the other, she was just as likely to decide I was too powerful for my own good and take me out. Or not demonic enough. Or not clever enough. Hell, wearing the wrong earrings might make her want to kill me. You never knew what might set Newt off on one of her psychotic fits.

Uncomfortable with her examination of my features, I looked around the by now familiar restaurant at the demons filling it. Some were eating, some were involved in conversation, but the majority were staring at the two of us, not even bothering to hide it.

"I know."

My attention snapped back to Newt, who now had a head of curls that resembled mine, only a stark black. The waiter reappeared with our drinks and she took hers without glancing in his direction. "I know," she repeated.

"What do you know?" I didn't want to ask, but…

She sipped the drink before answering. "I know lots of things. I know Dali is fuming in the kitchens about us being here. I know that I'm the last demon you'd like to be eating with. I know you are angry with Gally's new toy. I know that Ku'Sox wants your head on a platter. I know lots of things." The last was said with a scowl and I swallowed nervously.

"I know you know lots of things, Newt. I didn't mean it that way. I was asking what you were talking about when you said 'I know'."

"Oh that?" The scowl flipped to a smile but the hard look never left her eyes. "I know about you and Gally."

Oh shit. "I don't know what you mean." I cursed internally when my voice came out weaker than expected. How could she know? Who else knew? What did she do to Al? Is that why he wasn't answering?

The scowl returned full force. "Do not lie to me, demoness. I may be insane, but I'm not stupid."

Shit, shit, shit.

"You do know I told Gally I would kill him if he fucked you, right?" I nodded warily and she smiled again. "Don't look so worried. He's alive for now."

For now? Not good. "Can I ask you a question without you trying to kill me?"

She considered it for a moment, looking up at the sky. "I suppose. It wouldn't be right to take a life under the sun that you created."

"Why-" My voice cracked and I took a large swallow of my drink. "Why would you kill him if he slept with me? I'm sure all the other demons have sex. Familiars, other demons, humans… why can't Al? Why can't I?" I wasn't going to admit being with Al, so made sure to use hypotheticals whenever I could.

"That was more than one question, but the answer is the same. Because I said so."

My jaw dropped in astonishment. "So according to you I can't ever have sex? And neither can Al?"

"I don't care what you do on your side of the lines. Not. Here. And Gally's sex is none of your business. If he wants to know, he can ask me himself." Her eyes flicked over my shoulder and it took everything in me not to turn and look at who I knew was coming.

Al threw his legs over the bench of the picnic table and sat next to me, thumping his drink onto the checkered tablecloth. Even though his lips were curved into an indulgent smile pointed at Newt, the expression didn't touch the rest of his face. My heartbeat sped up a notch when I heard his posh accent.

"Newt, love, I didn't know you cared."

"Gally, dear, you don't know a thing." Anything else she might have said was delayed by the arrival of our food. The waiter looked at Al questioningly, but he waved him off.

My mouth watered as I looked down at the cheeseburger and fries. The platter came with a bottle of ketchup and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was nice to not have to ask for the condiment, and the food looked so good. I hadn't eaten much of anything lately, even though I had been baking nearly nonstop since New Year's. Digging in, I didn't even notice the slight burnt amber taste of the meat. If this was my last meal I was going to savor every bite.

Newt picked up a chicken leg and pointed it at Al. "I know what you did and I am not pleased."

"And what is it that I am supposed to have done?"

The leg swung in my direction. "Her."

I choked on the fry in my mouth and Al pounded my back. "Might I suggest we move this conversation to a more private location?" The fry dislodged from my throat and I took a big gulp of the bomber, looking around. Al was right, this was so not the place to talk about bedroom activities. Every demon in the restaurant had their attention focused on our table, even the staff, who snuck peeks at us between serving customers.

Newt took this in and glared at the other demons. All turned away but only briefly, until they felt her gaze move on. She bit into the chicken, ripping off a huge chunk. "Very well," she said after swallowing. "We will continue this in your library. Gally, lead the way."

A bubble snapped around my thoughts and we squeezed into a line. Admit nothing, Rachel. Let me handle this. I had no time to respond to Al's thought before we reappeared in the library. Newt popped in as soon as we moved off the door glyph.

"But my burger-" A Styrofoam box materialized before me and I caught it before it dropped to the floor. Inside I found my partially eaten sandwich and fries. "Thank you." I had no idea which one of them did it, but I was too ravenous to care about that. I claimed one of the wingback chairs and sat cross-legged, the box open on my lap. Newt gave me a minuscule smile, still angry, before turning the full force of her presence on Al, who had bent to start a fire. She sat on the couch and waited as he poked the half-burnt logs around with the iron poker.

When the fire was burning merrily, he sat in the unoccupied chair and steepled his fingers. "Did you bring Rachel over?" The tension in the air was so thick it was nearly visible.

"No. I found her wandering the surface. Your familiar seems to dislike it when she calls."

Al turned towards me. "You called?"

"Free imes," I said through a mouthful of fries, holding up three fingers. His jaw tightened and I swallowed before continuing. "He yelled and hung up the first time, and the other two he slammed the door in my face." Al's index fingers tapped against each other, his only sign of anger.

"I do believe I need to have a word with the rat."

"Oh, you have a new toy, Gally? I must meet him." I raised my eyebrows in surprise since she already knew that. Al shook his head in a nearly imperceptible motion. I furrowed my brow for a moment before it hit me that Newt was losing her grip on reality. Thinking about it, I realized she had been abnormally lucid the past several times I had seen her. I guess she still had her moments.

"Of course, Newt, love. I would be honored to show him to you sometime."

Ignoring his words, she stood and looked around the library as is she had never seen it. "Bats in the ceiling. Corpses in the dirt. Music in the flames. Blood in the air," she muttered as her eyes swept over me and Al. She focused on me. "Have you seen Minias, Rachel?"

I shook my head, remembering Newt's former bodyguard/babysitter. Al told me she had killed him when she found out he was slipping her memory erasing potions. "Not for a long time."

She frowned and transformed back into the androgynous form in purple robes that I remembered from the first time I saw her. "I must find Minias." Her eyes narrowed before she smiled the shark grin. "Us demonesses must stick together." With that she popped out.

Al slumped back into the chair, eyes closing as he breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close."

"I thought she was going to kill me."

"She probably was." Goat-slitted eyes reopened and focused on me. "Why are you here?"

Dropping my gaze to the Styrofoam container, I pushed the food around. My appetite had disappeared. I should have thought more about what I was going to say before coming over here. Maybe Nick refusing to let me speak to Al or even leave a message was a sign I was too thick to understand. It seemed so simple at home in the safety of the church. Now, with him in front of me, not so much.

"Ah, I wanted to talk to you."

I didn't look up at his snort. "And somehow you ended up having dinner with Newt."

"Yeah." Uncomfortable silence arose and I wanted to smack myself. This was all my fault. "Listen, Al, I-"

"Nick!" Al bellowed, cutting me off. "Get in here, now!"

The human appeared on the glyph, head and eyes lowered in submission. Fists clenched at his sides, showing he wasn't pleased about it. "You called, master?"

"Did I receive any calls while I was out?"

"Yes, master." Nick's gaze never lifted from the toe of his worn sneakers. He looked thinner than before, his hair hanging limply and covering his face. He wore a ratty Takata t-shirt dating back to one of his first tours twenty-something years earlier. His jeans were faded in a way that spoke of hard work instead of fashion.

Al glanced at me before returning his attention to Nick. "From who?"

"Nobody important," he said sullenly. His body went rigid for a moment and I realized that Al had forced line energy into him.

"Who called?"

Al slowly dragged the information from Nick, punishing him with more energy every time an answer was evaded in the slightest. By the end of the interrogation Nick could barely stand upright, his harsh breathing the only outward proof on the internal torture. I felt for him. I had been Al's familiar for a small period and having line energy forced through you was like filling a balloon to capacity, then putting more air in. Sooner or later something would have to give. Either the air would rush back out the opening or the balloon would pop… or in a familiar's case, they would go incurably insane.

Guilt swamped through me at Nick's situation, but part of me relished what he had become. It was a sort of poetic justice that he played with demons for so long and now the demons could play with him. He was a manipulative jerk of the first degree and thought of nobody except himself, even those he claimed to care for and love. He even had a file at the FIB large enough for its own drawer in a filing cabinet.

All that aside, watching him be tormented by a demon was nearly intolerable. Nobody deserved to be made into an object for someone else's amusement. I had no plans to take a familiar and this only cemented the decision.

"Make coffee." Al's order was accompanied the a slight pop as a small table appeared in the middle of the seating arrangement, all the necessities for coffee in place. Nick never raised his eyes as he dropped to his knees next to the table and started working. "Two cups." If Nick was surprised by the order, it didn't show.

I opened my mouth to say that I didn't want one but closed it when Al shook his head at me. The click of my teeth alerted Nick and he glanced up, quickly dismissing my presence before taking a second look, his face contorting in raw hatred. The bruises seen last time had faded completely, leaving him pale but for stark bags under his eyes. Jaw clenched so tightly the muscles in his neck stood out, he finished the coffee and stood.

Al handed me one cup and took the other. Uncomfortable silence reigned as we sipped the drink. I winced at the burnt amber flavor, but swallowed anyway. After several long moments, Al waved his hand. "Say what you will, Rat."

"You bitch. I swear to God that if I get you alone for thirty seconds I'll kill you. Look what you've done to me! I'm a fucking demon's slave!" The yelled words echoed around the library.

Instead of the expected rush of anger, I found myself resigned to his attitude. I guess that after so long, it just wasn't worth the energy to stay mad at him. I sat the mug on the silver platter and leaned back in the chair before answering him. "You did this to yourself, Nick."

Ignoring his sputtered protests, I talked over him. "Although I will give you credit for saving my life when we first met Al, you have done every stupid thing in the book and now you're paying for it. Don't get mad at me because you refuse to take any sort of responsibility for your own mistakes."

"Bullshit! This is all because of you, you fucking whore!"

"Oh, really? I'm the one who made a living stealing priceless items and selling them to the highest bidder, then backing out of the deal when a better one came along. I'm the one who held a gun to your head and forced you to summon demons and sell them information about me. I'm the one who had a dozen demon marks. I'm the one who set a circle through a phone line like a stupid beginner. Right."

By the time I was done his entire body shook with fury. "I don't care if it takes me a thousand years, I'm going to get you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Count on it."

Al sighed heavily. "That was the best you could think of? I'm disappointed, Nick, truly I am. How much more cliché can you get? Enough," he said, waving his hand once again as Nick started to say something else. "As entertaining as this has been, I'm afraid we no longer require your presence. Go directly to your room and stay there until I call for you again."

Shooting me one last glare, Nick stepped onto the door glyph and disappeared. I turned to Al, only to find him watching me curiously. "Was that enough of a show for you?"

He shrugged minutely. "I've had better." My eyes narrowed and he set his cup next to mine on the platter. "So what brings you here, Rachel? I didn't think you'd come back voluntarily."

Any anger I had about the confrontation with Nick evaporated and was replaced with anxiety. "I, uh, I just wanted to talk about what happened."

One eyebrow raised, but his blank expression never faltered. "I think we 'talked' enough about it."

"We haven't spoken since then!"

"Exactly." He stood and straightened his velvet coat. "Now if you will excuse me, I have things to do and little time in which to-"

"No." I stood, too, and blocked his path to the glyph. He could just mist around me, but it was the meaning of my stance that counted. At least I hoped it would. "I thought about it and I want to know exactly where we stand with each other."

The blank face turned into a mocking one. "I am quite aware of where we stand. You made it perfectly clear. If that's all, then-"

"Al, stop. Please." The please must have done it, because he sighed and straightened the lace at his cuffs.

"Fine. Go on."

"I just…" My words trailed off as the speech I had prepared fled my mind. Al waited, hands clasped behind his back as I searched for the words I needed. I took a deep breath and let everything out, letting go of all the emotion I had bottled up in the past two weeks.

"I miss this. I miss you teaching me. I miss that feeling when I twist a curse and get it right. I miss the kitchen and the toasted cheese sandwiches. I miss you. I know you don't feel the same as I do and that's why I walked out on you. It hurt too badly to know that I can't ever have what I want and you can't give me what I need, what I've been searching for for so long. But I realized since then that nothing can compare to this, to us, and anything is better than nothing. I don't know if it will hurt more in the end, but it hurts so much now without it that I don't know if I can take this, I don't know if I could survive that, but for a little while I just don't want to hurt. And you make me forget the pain, even if it's just for a little while." I laughed, more of a short, choked sound, really. "Hell, I don't know if that made any sense at all, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. It hurts when I'm with you, but it's a thousand times worse without you."

He blinked in surprise at his words coming from my mouth. The smoked glasses he had yet to remove disappeared and goat-slit eyes stared at me. I resisted the urge to fidget under the intense look. He moved suddenly, pressing me up against the wall in the same spot he had when he found out I was alive again. "What can't I gave you, love?"

"Wh- what?" I stuttered dumbly.

"What can I not give you?" His snarled words wrapped around my mind and held me in place as securely as his hands on my shoulders. "What have I not given you? I once lost everything because of you! Then I gave you more! What do you want, Rachel? What more can you possibly want from me?"

By the end he was shaking me, his fingers taking any impact I might have had on the wall. "What, Rachel, what do you want?" He stepped back, releasing his hold on my shoulders, and ran both hands through his hair in a gesture I had never seen before. His hair fell in disarray around his face as he looked into my eyes once more. "Is it something you can get from someone else? From the rat? From a witch? From the elf? What do you want?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. He was still angry, no doubt, but his words had taken on a tinge of sadness. I took and step towards him and he tensed like I would attack him. I placed a hand on his chest, right above where his heart beat furiously.

"Love."

He looked down at my hand and back at my face before barking out a harsh laugh. "You want love? From me?"

My hand dropped. "Yes," I whispered. "Demons can't love. That's why I left. It hurt to hear all those things from you and know that you couldn't back them up. Not for not trying, I know better than that. But for me to feel it for you and that you can't feel it for me breaks my heart. And I know that you'll give me what you can, even if it never gets there. I can't be without you, so I'll take what you can give, Al."

"Demons can't love? And you'll take what I can give?" His eyes narrowed and a sly smile crossed his face. "That's right, Rachel, you're going to take what I give you, and you're going to take it all."

In one swift movement he grabbed me and misted us to his bedroom. Without another word he crushed me to his chest and took my mouth with his. The barely restrained strength and anger emanating from his every pore turned me on in more ways than I could count. Apparently my lust for danger was still fully intact and functioning.

He overpowered me in every sense, molding my body to his, dominating the kiss, pushing me towards the bed. I fell backwards when my knees hit the mattress and by the time I hit the velvet comforter all our clothes had disappeared. I moved backward to make room for him and he stalked me on his hands and knees following every movement with an unnerving intensity. He climbed over me and settled between my legs when I stopped.

"Oh, yes, you asked for it, and you're going to get everything I have. Every. Single. Inch. Of it."

His words sent a shudder through me and I couldn't say if it was fear or anticipation or a mix of the two. No matter that I had pissed him off, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I trusted Al with my life. It was strange that the demon who once ripped my throat out and hunted me down mercilessly was the one who I trusted with everything.

His hand covered my eyes and he muttered something in Latin. When the weight lifted, the blackness remained. "Al? What the-"

"Quiet. You want everything I can give you? Show me what you can give me. Let me in."

Blind, I gasped in terror. "Let me see, Al." This was fear on a whole new level. My other senses picked up to provide the clarity I lacked. Velvet underneath me, a warm body on top. The scent of burnt amber wafting on a tiny breeze. The sound of his calm breath near my ear.

"No. Show me what you will give me, Rachel."

Is this what he needed to show him that I was serious about this? Did he want to make sure that there was nobody else? Did he not trust that I was telling him the truth? Whatever the reasoning behind it, I couldn't refuse him. I asked him for everything, how could I not give him the same in return. Relaxing, I reached out to his consciousness with mine and we connected mentally the same moment he pushed into me.

He hadn't been lying when he said he would give me every inch. My flesh stretched around him almost to the point of pain, but it only gave me the feeling of being exceptionally full. He pushed and pushed, rocking gently when he met resistance. When his hips met mine he had bottomed out inside of me and the pressure of him against my cervix was pleasantly surprising. He cursed softly, growling the words into my ear as he gave me a moment to adjust to his size.

We both moaned loudly when he pulled out, and sighed when he came back in. Rapid trills of mixed Latin and English fell out in his posh accent, but I was too lost to notice the words. I did notice, however, when images started flashing through my head.

My childhood illness, my first experience in casting, my time is the I.S., trying to catch Trent. Nick. Ivy. Kisten. Marshall. Pierce. My demon training. Every memory, good and bad, flitted through my mind in rapid sequence.

"Al, what are you doing?"

"Sshh." His strokes picked up and I clutched his waist. "Yes, Rachel."Another string of incomprehensible Latin. "Show me want you want. Show me who you want." The whispered words worked like a command and he appeared.

In my mind's eye he wore the usual green velvet suit, smoked lenses perched on his nose. Then the image flowed into Ivy, wearing her riding leathers, tiny fangs poking into her lip.

No.

Ivy flowed into Nick and I shuddered in revulsion.

Never again.

Nick turned into Kisten, long blond hair, roguish smile, torn earlobe and all.

My heart panged in remembrance, but it still didn't seem right.

Marshall showed up next, his hair long from the lack of his hair-removal charm.

Still not what I was looking for.

The hair grew and suddenly Pierce was there, antiquated suit and all.

Not him.

The hair lightened and floated in a nonexistent wind. Bright green eyes shone as Trent looked at me, Lucy on his hip.

My body reacted to this image, but no.

Trent faded into darkness. The featureless black form stretched out, limbs turning thin. Wings sprouted from its back and horns curled over its head. One hand was held out, a perfect blue chrysalis held gently in its palm. Familiar eyes with sideways pupils looked down at me sadly.

My body reacted again, but more violently. Distantly I felt the body on top of me stiffen and curse in surprise. I ignored it, too caught up in the images in my head to concentrate on reality.

The sadness in the creature's eyes wrapped around it like a shroud and I noticed a small ring on its finger when it caught the light. There was something pitiable about him as he looked from the chrysalis to his ring and back. "Celfnnah," he whispered, the odd word holding a wealth of emotion.

Tears stung the back of my blind eyes as the creature snuffled in despair, trying to not cry. My mental self wrapped him in a hug and a warm weight settled against my neck, moist breath ghosting against my skin. Even though I couldn't see, my eyes closed. Burnt amber swirled around me and I realized that this was a demon. Was this what they originally looked like?

The body shuddered against me and arms wrapped around me and tightened, holding me like a lifeline. It's okay, I thought, It hurts now, but in time you'll remember with joy.

When he pulled back from the hug, I was stunned to see Al in front of me. Now this was right.

Another string of Latin echoed in my mind and when I opened my eyes I could see once more. Al looked down at me, his face slack with surprise. I reached up to brush the hair out of his face and pulled him down to kiss me.

Instead of the barely leashed violence of moments ago, he treated me almost reverently. When we came within seconds of each other, he buried his face in my neck and spoke so softly I could only make out the impression of words and the movement of lips across my damp skin.

"Al?"

"You are so blind, kitten." This time the words were crystal clear and I pushed his shoulders to get him to move back. When he did, the emotions in his eyes were so serious I couldn't have looked away if my life depended on it. "If demons can't love, why can you?"