"We need to talk, Severus," Dumbledore peered at him over his half-moon glasses.
"I see little point in it."
"I disagree," Dumbledore stepped around Severus and into the room.
Snape made no move further into the room. Instead, he planted his feet and crossed his arms, "Spit it out then, Dumbledore."
"Do you realize the danger you've put her in? I know you are an intelligent man, Severus, but this was stupid."
"Yes, because your death certainly would not ever make her less safe," The sarcasm dripped in every word. I am quite aware of what I've done.
"The severity of this..."
"Oh, spare me, Albus," Snape waved his hands in exasperation. Bugger off, old man.
"Why would you do this? How could you do this to me?"
"TO YOU?" Snape roared, "YOU! YOU HAVE LIED TO ME, USED ME, ISOLATED ME, ABUSED ME, AND HUNG ME OUT TO DRY MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT."
"Severus!"
"NO! SHUT UP! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU WILL LISTEN TO THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE!" He bellowed and then took a deep breath, "You have ruined me, Dumbledore. You ask me to split my soul, you ask me to kill the one person who knew I wasn't... bad. You do that knowing what it does to me, what it makes me to everyone. You... You used the worst parts of my life against me. You've turned me into a husk of a man. You had a chance to save me, but you didn't choose me. Instead, you've always chosen boys like Harry Potter, like his father - your blessed Gryffindors. You expected me to function after making me your total pariah? You expected me to be able to handle it? Well, it may have escaped your notice, but I'm a fucking human being. God forbid, Severus Snape has emotions and feels stress and needs a friend, yes? I'm sure that's a really tough potion for you to swallow, Dumbledore, but your puppet is flesh and blood. Now, I've had my fill on you, so if you could be so kind and get the fuck out of my classroom," Snape wandlessly tore the door open.
Dumbledore's jaw was hanging open. His face was intense and focused, "Severus..."
"Get. Out."
"Severus, please."
"GET OUT! I said get out! Leave me the fuck alone for once in my damn life, you self-serving, arrogant, and heartless bastard!"
With that, Dumbledore turned and walked slowly out the door. Snape grabbed the thick wooden door frame with both hands and slammed it shut with all of his strength.
"FUCK!" He growled and turned around and kicked a classroom. In the act, he broke two toes.
Why can't I have anything good?
Why can't I be human?
Why can't I have one friend?
Why can't I have emotions?
Why can't I have a say in what I am to do?
Why can't I have a friend?
Why can't I have one friend?
Almond.
Shea.
Snape leaned his back against the door and slid down to the floor. He held his knees to his chest and sobbed. For hours. Why? Why? Why can't I have one single shred of happiness in my life? Why don't I deserve even that? Why can't I at least be left alone to rot in peace? All of this will be for nothing for me. I will die either way. I...
The tears streamed endlessly down his face. He cried so hard he nearly vomited. He scraped his fingers on the cement floor until his nails bled.
I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't live this way anymore. I can't do this anymore.
Thoughts of suicide crept back into his head. He travelled down a progressively darker path in his mind.
Just do it. Just do it. Your life is worth nothing. Nothing. You are nothing. You killed the woman you loved, her husband, and cursed her only child. You're a spiteful, vindictive, and pathetic excuse for a man.
He pulled himself up off of the floor and turned around to the door. He swung hard with his right hand, then his left. Over and over and over and over. The wood chipped under the force of him. His hands split and bled profusely.
His heart rate slowed down slightly and he pressed his palms to the door and rested his forehead on the old wood. Fuck you, Severus.
Almond.
Shea.