Author Note: Oh, you still read this? Congrats for making it this far
He had charm.
He had grace.
But gosh darn it did that all go to hell.
He looked at Starfire from across the conference room table. Her faced lined in confusion looked beautifully foreign on her face. He couldn't blame her. He asked her into the conference room, told her to sit on the opposite side of the table, and then proceeded to open and close his mouth for the last five minutes.
This looked more like an interrogation than a talk. A bad interrogation from a rookie, but an interrogation none the less. Robin let out a heavy sigh as he dropped his head back in defeat. How the hell was he suppose to start this conversation?
"Boyfriend Robin, is there something wrong?" Starfire inquired before she scratched her head. "Did I do something wrong? I know I have been lagging behind in endurance training"
"No!" Robin yelled, wincing at himself for screaming. "No, it isn't about that"
Starfire leaned back on her chair, her eyes wide from his outburst.
Robin bit his inner cheek. Why did he make it seem like this was about something she did?
Robin stared at his bare hands because he couldn't look at her. Looking at all the cracks and calluses, he couldn't find any solace in them. Robin cleared his throat, wringing his hands over trying to find some sort of strength. Finding none, he opened his mouth and hoped Richard Grayson, the dashing socialite, would take over.
"I kissed Raven."
...or not.
Robin pushed his chair back, surprised at his own statement. He glanced up at Starfire, who sat with her mouth agaped. Robin slumped his shoulder, tilting his head to look at a corner. Any second now, she would yell, maybe throw something at him. Robin bit his lip. No, that wasn't Starfire, he just hoped she didn't cry.
Starfire looked away from him for a second, her hands balled into a fist on top of the table. Seconds ticked by before the hard lines on her forehead smoothed over. Tilting her head again, she spoke.
"You already told me this?" Starfire said, raising an eyebrow at Robin.
Robin shook his head, picking the skin off the callus on his hand. "No, this one, this one is new." Robin said with a hard swallow.
Again, Starfire's eyebrows furrowed as she stood there in silence. Gosh, Robin felt like a coward. Staring at his hands and flipping dead skin to a random corner. He couldn't look at Starfire, not when she refused to yell at him. Darn it he wished she would just kick his ass so he didn't have to be hard on himself. If she raised her voice even an octave, it would suffice.
Starfire opened her mouth, closing it quickly only to open it again. He wondered if she got that habit from him.
"I don't understand Earth culture." Starfire started, her hands sliding from the table and over her knees again.
Robin looked up, but said nothing. He watched Starfire as she took a big breath, her eyes slightly illuminating as she stared dead at him. Starfire pushed her seat forward, leaning over the table as she stared at the small crevices of the wooden table. He wondered if it was because she couldn't bare to look at him? He couldn't blame her, he hasn't been able to look at himself.
Starfire spoke slowly, her eyes focused on the table. "I don't understand Earth culture." she repeated. "In my culture we bath in joy, it is where we draw strength. We do not believe in war, our capacity for love greater than our capacity for hate. We know different types of love exist."
Words were fluid, no special Tamaranean vernacular. It was easy to see how hard she was trying to make this easy, make it easy for him to understand. Robin stared at the hard lines on his hands because there wasn't much else he could do.
"I understood." Starfire said, raising her head from the table. "I understood because I thought friend Raven was confused. She has held onto her emotions for so long, maybe she didn't know the difference between similar emotions." Starfire rubbed her arm in an effort to console herself. "I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness. "
Robin shook his head at the conclusion."You aren't in the-"
"Is it normal in Earth culture for people to court more than one person?" Starfire asked, staring at Robin's form, her eyes wide in anticipation.
Robin licked his lips, trying to find the right words. "For some yes, but I'm not, I'm not normally that type of person."
Starfire nodded.
"Who kissed whom?" Starfire asked, and Robin finally looked up to look at her.
There was no malice in Starfire's face. It was so serene and calm. Too calm, it was almost eerie.
"I kissed her" Robin winced at his own words.
The words felt worse the second time around.
Starfire took a long breath through clenched teeth."When?"
Robin looked away. "When she-she ran from the theater."
Starfire hummed, nodding her head again. Starfire looked away from him as she blinked away the fire in her eyes. "You aren't taking advantage of her?"
Robin stared at Starfire confused. "What? No, I don't-"
"She is trying to figure out her feelings Robin. It wasn't an opening for you to-to" Starfire stood up and banged her hands on top of the table, creating a hole. "ACT LIKE A WORM AND GET INSIDE"
Robin jumped out of his chair, afraid the whole table would be next, or worst, he would be. One look at Starfire was all he needed to know just how angry she was. Eyes illuminated, hands rolled into a fist with two starbolts ready to be aimed at him.
"Star, calm down." Robin pleaded, holding his hands in surrender.
"I can't believe you! She consulted her feelings, you aren't suppose to stray her into-into your arms!" Starfire yelled, throwing a starbolt to the wall near him.
Robin turned around, smelling the faint smell of burnt dry wall. He knew Starfire's aim, and she purposely missed by merely a centimeter. Robin patted his chest trying to push down the utter skin crawling fear running down his veins. Each hair raising to the very thought that black dust in the wall could have been him. Robin turned around, letting out a deep sigh. He had no idea how to explain that scorch mark to Cyborg.
"It isn't like that, Star" Robin huffed. "I wasn't trying to worm myself in!"
Robin bit his cheek, surprised he just yelled.
"Then why Robin? If you aren't trying to court us both then why?" Starfire asked, defusing her starbolts.
"I-I jus-" Robin croaked but he couldn't find a good excuse. "I don't know. It sort of just happened?"
Starfire shoulders visibly slumped. Clearly that wasn't an answer she wanted to hear.
"I do not understand this earth idea of 'just happening'" Starfire answered, hugging herself while not bearing to look at Robin. "Things happen for a reason Robin."
Robin chewed on his lip, rubbing the nape of his neck in thought. He wished there was a reason. He wished he knew why he pushed Raven against the alley wall. The only excuse he could think of was that he was angry, no, he was livid.
"I don't have a reason." Robin confessed.
Seconds ticked by before Starfire opened her mouth.
"Am I no longer acceptable?" Starfire asked, head twisting slightly away from him.
"Star" Robin pleaded, his voice soft.
This was not going the way he imagined. He had imagined she would be angry. That she would yell at him for being unfaithful. That she would yell strong and hurtful words, few in her native tongue and that would be the end of it. That it would be the end of a them.
As he watched the rush of emotions run through Starfire, her posture guarded, hands gripping tightly on her elbows, he realized that wasn't Starfire. She was passionate, smart, and fiercely loyal to her look was all he needed to know she was beyond anger, she was in pain. Unsure to forgive, unsure to scream, and unsure on who to blame. Her idea of friendship bigger than the pain in her heart.
Starfire looked at the hole on the table. She seemed surprised at her own outburst, awkwardly shuffling to the hunk of wood that laid on the floor. Giving Robin a sheepish look, she grabbed the hunk of wood off the floor. Pressing the piece of wood on the table like some missing jigsaw piece, the hunk of wood proceeded to fall right through. Starfire grabbed the wood again, hands shaking.
Robin looked at the splinters on the floor, as Starfire tried again to place the wood back in place.
"Star leave that alone." Robin reached for her.
Starfire ignored him, pushing the hunk of wood back, only to watch it drop again. Squatting down Starfire picked up the hunk of wood, pressing it close to her chest. She stared at the floor, making no movement to get back up.
"Star." Robin pleaded again, making movement to get closer.
"How do you feel about Raven?" Starfire asked, her voice just above a whisper.
Robin stopped in front of Starfire. He leaned over her, looking at just how hard she was clutching that useless piece of wood. Sweet, beautiful, and intelligent Starfire. She didn't deserve this. Robin looked away, he didn't deserve her.
"She is my best friend." Robin said.
Starfire looked at Robin, tears in her eyes. "That is what you always say. Yet, since Beast Boy started pursuing her, you-"
Robin looked at her surprised. "This has nothing to do with Beast-"
"Yes it does." Starfire interrupted. "Raven will always be someone special to you. So special it was almost criminal to touch her." Starfire gave a saddened smile. "Once someone tried, it knocked off the pedestal you placed under her."
Robin wanted to say something, but he had no idea how to respond to that.
Robin squatted in front of Starfire. He touched her chin, lifting it up to look at him. Fresh tears rolled down her face, her eyes tinted into a darker green. There was few times he ever seen Starfire freely cry in front of him. Her tears were always away from the rest of the team. Maybe she thought they would find her weak. If only she would believe him if he said she was the strongest willed out of all of them. All of them too afraid to cry the tears she shed.
"I-I didn't do that." Robin started. "It isn't like that-"
Starfire smiled, her cheeks twitching from the effort. "You can't even say that with a face that is straight." Starfire sniffled.
"It isn't like that" Robin started again. "I swear it isn't like that"
"Raven has always been your confident. You tell her things you never could tell me." Starfire inquired, her green eyes staring attentively at him. Maybe she was waiting for him to prove her wrong.
Robin pulled his hand away. "Yes but," Robin looked into her eyes reassuringly. "But what I feel for Raven is different to what I feel for you. They aren't the same things"
"They aren't?" Starfire sniffed, rubbing the tears off her eyes.
Robin opened his mouth because he wanted to reassure her. He wanted her to be wrong. That what he felt for Raven was akin to a sister. As much as he tried to force out words that would sooth her fears he couldn't. He wasn't sure if she was wrong anymore. Not when the memory of the alley way, and the almost kiss in this very conference room was in the forefront of his mind. Robin stayed quiet, not sure what to say.
Starfire looked at Robin expecting consoling words, what she got was silence. As their eyes connected, Robin looked away. All the words she wanted to hear were lost in the roof of his mouth.
"I think it wasn't Raven who needed to figure things out." Starfire gave a sad chuckle wiping the last remaining tear."Maybe I was standing in the way more than I thought."
He didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was the tears, or the fact that he couldn't say anything at all, he pulled Starfire close. Wrapping her arms around her tightly, her felt her shudder a breath, squeezing the useless plank of wood against her chest. He felt her cheek rest on his shoulder before a loud clunk resonated in the room.
Pressing her hands against his shoulders, Starfire patted his shoulders. Maybe it was to console him, or maybe it was to release the anxiety she held deep in her chest, she wasn't sure.
"Star, I have no idea what you are thinking right now." Robin chuckled, the vibrations rumbling deep in his chest. "I don't know what's been happening the last few months." He stroked her hair, watching the amber silk slip through his fingers. "But all I know is that you are my girlfriend. That you are the one I choose to be with." Robin hugged her closer.
Starfire hummed, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. "Things change Robin."
Robin shook his head, burying his face in her hair. "I want us to be the last to change." Robin pulled away, pulling Starfire's chin to stare at him. "Starfire I-"
"Robin, do not say things just to ease the situation." Starfire said, as she let out a sniffle. "It would not be fair for the both of us."
Robin grimaced, unspoken words ready hanging on the tip of his tongue. They were four letters that hung deep inside his heart, something he never thought about uttering to her until now. As Starfire said those words, he wondered just who did those four letter words really belong to.
"We can-, we can fix this Starfire." Robin said, panic evident in his voice. "It was just a kiss. It meant nothing."
Starfire hummed pulling her chin away from his grasp. "Maybe we need time away Robin"
Starfire wiped away her remaining tears, pulling herself up from her squat. She sniffled, nose slightly red from the tears. Looking at Robin through cloudy eyes, she uttered these words:
"So we know what needs to be fixed."
The words resonated with him. Long after Starfire choked down another sob. Long after her footsteps left the room. Long after her footsteps stopped echoing in the hallway.
And long long after he realized that this was the end.
Author Note: I hope it comes out fine. Copy and Paste feature cuts words often. My heart hurt writing this chapter. I hope I gave you the same pain.