I'm glad everyone enjoyed last chapter. If only I extended France and England's pick-up line contest. Then again, if I did, the chapter would be filled with nothing but cheesy pick-up lines. XD
1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.
2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.)
3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.
4. Countries can team up and work together.
5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money.
The Golden Rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.
Ukraine is at a naval base in her country, watching two dolphins jumping into rings, squeaking happily. The dolphins are in a wide pool, with the gate locked to the Black Sea.
Ukraine is happy she was able to convince her boss into letting her borrow the dolphins. She plans on having the dolphins do a few tricks in front of children. The money will go to paying her debt to Russia. Ukraine got some inspiration from Russia's circus. Only, she'll use real animals instead of…..mutant ones.
Just maybe, if she actually pays Russia this time, he'll come to her house less often to collect money.
Ukraine smiles. She won't have to run away crying if Russia pays her visit.
The dolphins stop their routine to chatter. One of the dolphins rubs his nose against the other dolphin's side. The latter harshly splashes him and swims away. The dolphin squeaks in depression. He slowly swims to the side of the glass tank.
Ukraine hugs the dolphin. "What's wrong?" Ukraine pities the poor dolphin. He's very lonely with no friends. Ukraine's fingers linger over the yellow tag on his fin.
The dolphin makes clinking sounds, glumly. His body hardly moves as Ukraine rubs his back. Ukraine tears up. "If only I can understand you. Then I could make you feel better."
Ukraine feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around to see her boss. Ukraine's boss taps his foot impatiently. "Get started with a test run."
Ukraine looks at the dolphin worriedly. She doesn't think he's ready to perform in his state at the moment. "But-"
Ukraine's boss looks at her sternly. "Now means now." Ukraine sighs. The Ukrainian woman blows her whistle. "Show time!"
The dolphins quickly form a line in front of the ring. The depressed dolphin sluggishly swims behind the other dolphin. The dolphins jump into the hoops, the yellow-tagged dolphin barely making it each time, his tail narrowly avoiding hitting the hoops.
When the dolphins stop their routine, her boss yawns. "Is that all?" Ukraine says, "No, one of them knows one more trick."
Ukraine claps her hands. "Dance for me please." The yellow-tagged dolphin perks up when Ukraine turns on the music. He rushes over to the edge of the pool.
Ukraine tells her boss, "Please stick your hand out." Her boss nods. He sticks his hand out. The dolphin excitedly rubs his body back and forth on Ukraine's boss' hand in harmony with the music.
Ukraine's boss blushes badly and yanks his hand back. He looks at Ukraine in disbelief. "What are you teaching these dolphins, how to hump humans? Are you trying to turn them into perverts?" Her boss had to assume she taught both dolphins the same trick.
Ukraine hastily replies, No-"
"And you were doing a show for children. What are you going to do for an encore? Have a child lay down on his stomach and have the dolphin hump their back?" Ukraine never imagined the dolphin's friendly gesture would be misinterpreted for anything sexual.
The Ukrainian woman stares at him in shock. "I would never do that."
"Sure you won't," her boss says sacraticlly.
Ukraine spots a fin sticking out of the water. Ukraine thought it was strange. She sees the dolphins patiently waiting for their next orders on the other side of the pool. She wonders who the mysterious fin belongs to. The dolphins start squeaking crazily at the fin.
Suddenly, a shark's head pops out the water, charging at the dolphins. Ukraine screams, "How did a shark get in there?" Her boss curses and uses his walkie-talkie to order more guards.
The yellow-tagged dolphin swims in front of the other dolphin protectively. He charges head on at the shark. Only to be knocked out of the pool and into the Black Sea by the Shark.
Ukraine screams, "Stop it! Leave them alone."
The shark smacks the other dolphin out of the water with its tail fin. The shark jumps out of the water to reveal its…..walrus body?
Ukraine gasps in shock. So this is where the shark-walrus mutant disappeared to. That's one mystery solved.
Ukraine's boss yells, "Don't just stand there Ukraine! Look for those dolphins. Even though you turned them into perverts, the navy still needs them. I order you to go look for them."
And thus starts Ukraine's search for the missing dolphins.
The search party looked to the deep waters of the Black Sea, while Ukraine franticly searched the sandy shores, hoping to see him nearby.
Ukraine stops running to catch her breath. "Oh, it's nearly impossible to find them. The Black Sea is huge."
When almost all hope is lost, she hears a "Ohonhonhon, is that what he's saying? What a naughty dolphin~" Ukraine's eyes widen in shock.
What is France doing near her country? Wait…he mentioned a dolphin. Ukraine takes off to the direction of France's voice. She hopes that the Frenchman is talking about the dolphins she's looking for.
Ukraine makes a turn around a giant rock to see a strange scene. Two dolphins are pleasantly chatting at a table set in the water. France is dressed in a butler suit and holding a menu. Atlantis is standing there awkwardly glancing between the dolphins and France.
Ukraine notices a familiar yellow tag on one of the dolphin's fin. It's the dolphin she is looking for!
Ukraine waves at the countries. "France! Atlantis! Thank goodness you found my dolphins. I thought I would never see them again."
France brightens at Ukraine. "Bonjour Ukraine. It's a pleasure meeting you here." Ukraine stands in the water, the small waves reaching halfway to her ankles. Ukraine hesitantly asks, "What are you doing with the dolphins, France?"
France gives a wide smile and hugs himself. "Ah, I'm helping Humper here win over the love of his life." Did she hear what she thought she heard? France named the yellow-tagged dolphin Humper. It sounds like France knows about….Humper's special routine.
"Are they…..on a date?"
France happily nods. "Oui, Humper was rejected by this beautiful dolphin here-" He gestures to the dolphin with a pick bow wrapped around her fin. "Earlier today and needed help with winning her over." That explains why Humper was depressed earlier. He was rejected by his love interest, how sad.
Ukraine looks at Atlantis. She's been silent the entire time. The Ukrainian woman wonders why Atlantis is even here in the first place. "Atlantis, why are you here with France?" Atlantis looks away, embarrassed.
France chuckles. He wraps an arm around her shoulder. The Atlantean blushes and tries to shrug off his shoulder, but France's grip refuses to budge. France says, "Atlantis here is translating for me. She speaks dolphin." Atlantis gives a nod, confirming France's comment.
Atlantis finally speaks up. "The dolphin-" "His name is Humper, ami." Atlantis narrows her eyes at him. "I'm not calling him that derogatory name."
Atlantis coughs into her hand. "As I was saying, the dolphin offered to pay France with the sunken treasure he found somewhere in the Black Sea."
Ukraine gasps in surprise. "You're charging money for your services?"
France smiles. "Oui, my services are not free. Ask Atlantis here. I'm giving her a discount for translating for me." Atlantis protests, "France!"
Ukraine couldn't believe it. Atlantis, of all the countries, is paying France for help in romance. The dark blue-haired woman acts so serious most of the time. It's hard to imagine her doing something like this.
"I'll take the dolphins back now-"
"Non, they need to finish their date first. It's mating season, if you know what I mean~"
Ukraine blushes. She didn't need to know this information. She feels she's intruding on someone's privacy now. Ukraine walks away, dejected. I have to beak the news to my boss.
Ukraine is sitting in her boss' office, facing his glare. She finished telling him what happened, and she's waiting for his reaction. Her boss says, "Iran stole our dolphins."
Ukraine looks at him, confused. "No, I said France-"
"No, Iran stole our dolphins. No one will believe us if we said France's business expanded to cater to dolphins."
Ukraine gives up. "Okay. Goodbye boss." Ukraine leaves the office, upset. Her feet leads her back to the naval base where the shark-walrus incident occurred. She sighs. She really missed the dolphins, especially Humper. The name Humper grew on her. (Even though the name sounds dirty.)
Ukraine hears squeaking in the distance. She sees Humper and his lover speeding towards her. Ukraine waddles into the water, beaming with joy. She hugs Humper, her breasts squeezing him. Ukraine pauses when she sees a package wrapped around his fin.
The country takes and unwraps the package. Inside, it holds a letter.
Dear Ukraine,
I apologize for helping France with the dolphin. I felt guilty about withholding the dolphins from your country, so I told the dolphins to return to you after mating season is over. I smuggled a few gold bars from the treasure chest the dolphin found. I hope you didn't get into too much trouble with your boss.
Sincerely, Atlantis
P.S Please don't tell anyone about the discount. Especially Prussia.
True to Atlantis' word, inside the box are three gold bars. Ukraine feels very happy. She has some money to pay her debt to Russia. She may have failed with her idea, but at least she received money from the mess.
Humper rubs his body against Ukraine's breasts. Ukraine giggles, "We need to get rid of your habit."
"STOP HUMPING MY COUNTRY, YOU PERVERTED DOLPHIN!"
Frugal money scheme: Failure.
Guilt a country into donating money: Success.
France crashed Ukraine's scheme. xD I bet you guys didn't see that coming.
There was an incident in Ukraine where three (not two, like in this chapter) navy trained dolphins escaped into the Black Sea in search of love. It is later claimed the dolphins appeared in Iran. Later news reports say that the memo was fake.
I hope no one is angry that my OC Atlantis makes a small appearance here. France needed someone to translate for him. It's not like he can speak dolphin. :) it looks like France's business has become very successful. XD
School-Read-Sleep-Routine: I don't want to make the chapters too predictable. :) (ex. France and Sweden.) I like making it unpredictable, like this chapter. xD Besides, I've already used the intimidation thing with Sweden, so I don't want to make another repeat of that. That would be boring. That doesn't mean intimidation is not going to be a small factor in some countries schemes. ;)
Don't worry, Belarus is going to have to replenish her money soon. :D
Hammsters: I'm so going to use that pick-up line from now on. XD I love using pick-up lines in humorous situations. France's chapter was perfect for me to write.