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"Lily, are you sure you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?" He asked her, only because he knew that he was tempted to do something he would regret if he followed through with this. For him, friendship would never be enough to satisfy the burning want inside of him. For now, it would only keep him content. He was weak for her, and surely he would dwindle to nothingness because of her. He couldn't compose himself long enough when he was around her. It was only a matter of time until he would burst, and love would pour out of him in a waterfall of emotion. It was because of her that he was completely destroyed on the inside. Nothing that either of them could do would be able to piece back the ruins left inside of him.

"I'm sure Sev. James won't be mad, if that's what you were thinking." She replied happily, completely sure that what she said was true. She was happy that they were friends again. Her life seemed to be together as a whole once more. She had few questions in her head remaining, but they were all ones that she was sure he would answer. "Let's get going. I don't want to waste our time." They walked side by side. From the back you would think they were just friends, but from the front you could see that there was more it, beneath the thick layers on the outside.

It was a striking autumn day. The trees overhead formed a tunnel. The dark braches intertwined carefully, leaving enough space for rays of sunlight to peer through. The dirt road had been raked of leaves. As they walked the wind blew the colorful leaves past them. He looked at her. She was more beautiful than the world around them. She turned to him and he turned his head away, embarrassed. She was ignorant to his feelings. It was a good thing though, because he never wanted her to find out, unless she felt the same way. He was sure it would never happen.

Unlike most Hogwarts students, they both wore muggle clothing to Hogsmeade. Severus wore an aged charcoal grey turtle neck and black trousers. Lily wore an evergreen colored turtleneck and black jeans.

They entered in a crowd of people. To Severus, this was chaos. To Lily, this was normal. It was an unusually busy day in Hogsmeade. In all of his years teaching at Hogwarts he had never seen it so full of life. He had never gone to Hogsmeade near Halloween time. It was the only explanation. "I know it's kind of busy, but it's because of Honeydukes'. With Halloween coming up and all that, they're really busy."

"I can see." He looked at Lily briefly, before someone had stepped in between them. "We should find a more suitable place." He raised his voice slightly, hoping Lily would hear him. He didn't yell much in his life. He never was in the situation where he had to.

"Yeah, come on!" She grabbed his arm and began dragging him across the town. It was like old times to them both. They maneuvered their way through the people. Lily shoved them away. She wasn't afraid to be rude when she had to. Once they had gotten through the crowd they were on the southern side of town. "Do you know where you would like to go today?"

"We have to talk, but we can do that whenever you feel…comfortable. I don't need much of anything. We can go wherever you fancy."

"Nonsense, you always need something!"

"Let's sit down and plan the day out then. Maybe I'll come up with some petty want by the end of it." He walked a bit further with Lily until they reached an old wooden bench at the corner of Dogweed and Deathcap. There was an absence of people there. The area around them was full of dark odd buildings. It was a fine place for planning. "Tell me, what did you have in mind for today?"

"I would like to go to Honeydukes once the crowd dies down. But before that I need to get some quills. I seem to have lost them earlier this week." She continued on, somewhat boring Severus. Mostly, he just wanted to talk to her about where they stood, even though she confined that they were friends. She could tell that he had stopped listening. It was obvious he thought that shopping was quite tedious. "Severus, you aren't listening!"

"Either way, we will end up making our way around the dainty shops you want to visit. I will end up carrying more bags than any human could possibly hold. We will push our way through Honeydukes, as you fill bags with candy. Then after you've ware me down to the bone we will sit down and talk about…well, everything."

"I'm surprised you haven't forgotten." She really was. The times she had gone to Hogsmeade with him they had gone through the same routine. She knew he hated going through the stores, but he did enjoy spending time with her. "Well, what did you have mind, since you already know what I want?"

"Nothing, except the talk we will have in the end." She looked at him as if he were hiding something. "We could stop at Dogweed and Deathcap. I need some plants for potions."

"Experimenting?" He nodded. "Good, I'll help you if I have time. You don't have a problem with that do you? I miss the times we spent together near the cauldron."

"Just don't criticize too much."

"I should be telling you the same thing. Now come on let's go! Time stops for no one."

Severus held half a dozen bags in his hands as they made their way toward Honeydukes. Only one small one had belonged to him. Lily was beaming as he scowled. "Come on Severus, don't look so sad. You can't possibly be having a horrible time." He tried smiling, but his upper lip could only waver. It was a pitiful attempt. "Come one, we just have one more stop to go."

"Honeydukes?"

"You could wait outside if you want to."

"I know. I'm not particularly fond of sweets, am I? I'm going in anyway. It isn't a burden." Except, it was.

They walked into the candy store. The obvious fact was that there was candy, probably more than the entire wizarding world could eat. It wasn't possible that so much candy could fit in such a small store. There were children filling bags with candy. Some of them wailed as their parents refused to buy more candy. This was one of Severus' least favorite places in the world, but it was one of Lily's favorites. He watched Lily walk around the store. She was like a child. She filled bags of candy with pepper imps, chocolate cauldrons, fudge flies and peppermint toads.

He walked around the bright asparagus colored room, looking for nothing in particular. Lily watched him afar, happy that he was taking some interest in the store. He hadn't much money in his pockets. He spotted a chocolate frog. It wasn't anything special to most wizards. He remembered how on the first train ride to Hogwarts Lily had purchased one. She had tried to bite it, but it hopped out of her hand instantly. It scared the living daylights out of her. Every year on the Hogwarts Express she had bought one. The same fate had befallen her. Despite his lack of galleons he picked it up. He stood in line. Lily was surprised to see him there. Maybe he's found something that isn't candy related…

"Is this all?" The blond shop keeper asked him, quite surprised that he hadn't bought an armful of candy.

"You're lucky I'm buying anything in this monstrosity of a store," he sneered. The shop keeper's eyes turned cold as he heard his response. She quickly put the frog in the bag as he paid her. He walked over to Lily. "I'm going to wait outside." He turned away.

"Okay, I'm almost done here!" She looked at his bag, but couldn't tell what he purchased. As he left she quickly walked over the cashier. He disappeared into the village bustling with people. She could no longer see him through the window. She placed the bags in front of her. "I'm sorry about him."

Her eyebrow lifted at what the redhead had told her. "Yes, well, I'm not sure there's much you can do about his kind." Lily knew what she meant by it. Supposed future Death Eaters were expected to behave in that manner. But Severus wasn't going to become one. He promised her. He was just disappointed by life, and that was why he acted so strangely.

"Thanks," she muttered as she paid the blond. She took her bags of candy and walked outside of the store, only to see that he was nowhere in sight. She looked passed a few stores, but he wasn't there. The most important part of the day comes, and he just decides to disappear. We should have talked earlier. I'm a moron. We wasted our time today. Great, just great. She kicked the building behind her. "Sev!" she yelled. "Severus, where are you?" There was no response. She had waited fifteen minutes for him before she couldn't take it any longer. She walked away. If he wanted to talk to her he would find her. He always did.

She walked a mile toward the edge of the village, where there was nothing, but tall yellowed grass growing on hills. Willow trees covered by browning leaves were scattered across the hills. There was nothing to bother her there. She could think clearly about everything she wanted to say to him. There was a cliff at the top of the hill. Below her dark blue water crashed against slate colored rocks violently. She sat her bags on the ground. She sat on the edge of the cliff, letting her feet dangle. She wasn't scarred of heights. What she was scarred of was the fall.

"I'm sorry," she heard his voice behind her. "I assumed that you would have taken longer in the store. I didn't mean to leave you there." He had searched the entire town for Lily before he had found her there waiting for him.

"You always know where to find me don't you?" She looked at him and patted the soft ground next to her. He carefully put the bags behind him. He sat down where her hand once was. "I'm sorry we wasted so much time. I know that you were mostly waiting for the conversation we're about to have." She placed her hand on his. It sent chills down his spine. "I can't sweeten this very much, you know?"

"Things like this aren't meant to be sugar coated." His voice was dull, empty and lifeless. "Just say what you need to. I don't want to keep fooling myself much longer. It won't get us anywhere."

"What's happened between then and now? You've changed so much." Since Lily last saw him, his appearance remained mostly the same, but now he looked older and wiser. He no longer slouched as he used to, nor did he look like he wallowed in his self-pity all day. He carried himself a bit higher; he looked even more wise and most of all beneath his blank, expressionless façade his eyes seemed to hold every emotion he held bottled up inside of him, like a well brewed potion. He was the same Severus, but completely different.

He was not one for talking. If you could manage to get more than a few complete sentences out of his mouth without a hint of sarcasm you would be considered lucky. What could he tell her now? He had decades of remorse hidden beneath his young exterior. He hadn't known how much of his life he could tell her, if he could tell her anything at all. So, he tried to remember everything that had happened between fifth year, and that moment in time. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

Everything is too much. Everything will drive you away from me once more. "I don't know what to tell you. Ever since we went our different ways it hasn't been the same. Too much time has passed."

"It's never too much." He was sure that he wouldn't get anywhere with this conversation. "How's your family?"

That was a dangerous territory for Severus. He wasn't particularly keen on talking about it. He had always kept that information to himself. "My mother died before Christmas. All that's left is my half alive father and I."

"I'm sorry." She remembered her mother telling her that his mother had died. She never really listened to anything else about him after that. "She was a good woman. She endured through a lot."

"That she did." He couldn't bear to talk about his mother any longer, it pained him too much. "There was a time where I wanted to be a follower." He got to the topic Lily wanted to hear about most. "I just can't do that anymore. He just kills off innocent people like they are nothing, but scum. That is not power. That is weakness and fear. I am not a coward like him. I'm sorry for everything Lily. I shouldn't have tried to walk down that path."

"But you turned around in time. I'm so happy that you realized that it was the wrong path. I couldn't bear to lose you like that. I didn't want the little boy I met on Spinner's End to willingly give it all up for something so—"

"Weak. Dark. Worthless." He finished for her. He looked at the doe bracelet on his arm, which he had hidden so amply in his dark clothing. He pushed it further down his wrist do she wouldn't see it. "Lily, I can't tell you what I'm like. You have to figure that out for yourself. I'm sure you will be thoroughly surprised once you see for yourself." She won't be thoroughly surprised; she would be shocked into oblivion. "If there's anything you would like to know just ask me. I will answer it to the best of my capability."

"Have you ever met him?"

Yes. "No, I haven't." Experience was the only reason why it was so easy to lie about it. He had spent nearly his whole life lying. It was natural for him. What wasn't natural was the guilt he had felt the moment he lied to her once more.

"Good." She let out a deep breath. "We can move on then." They continued chattering on about their lives. Lily had done most of the talking. He had brought her up to date on the most important things. But Lily was the one who was the life of the conversation. He enjoyed hearing her voice, and she enjoyed the way he would listen to her intently.

"How's Petunia?" He wanted to hear what she had gotten herself into. Whatever ditch she had brought herself into she deserved.

"She's getting married soon. She met this fellow, Vernon Dursley. You remember him, don't you? He came over to our house once while you were there."

"Yes. That man sits in his own girth, while chattering away like some ninny about the fascinating world of drills. The man is self-absorbed. I don't know how any human could ever be with a man like that. Even Petunia." He had a sharp tongue. If he had the time he would insult the man even further.

"He's her type. He has money, he's a hard worker, he is respectable in her point of view and he is not a freak. He's perfect for her." Lily had meant those words she said. She loved her sister, but the words she spoke were true, and nothing short of it.

"How are your parents?"

"They—" She chocked backed tears. It was a hard topic for her. She had only lost one of them such a short time ago. "My mom is alive." It was all she could say. He knew what she meant by it. "My father died in a car crash over the summer." Salty tears dripped down her cheeks. He gave her a cloth to wipe them away.

"I'm so sorry Lily. I truly am." He hadn't known about this before. "He had a happy life didn't he? He was always happy and smiling. He was surrounded by the people he loved. You couldn't ask for more could you?" The words spilled out of his mouth because it was what he longed for. Behind this cryptic exterior, cold demeanor it was what he truly wanted.

She smiled pitifully. "Yes, you can't ask for more can you? You always know the right things to say Sev."

"Where do we stand now Lily?" It came out of nowhere. "You confined that we were friends, but where are we exactly?"

"Just friends Sev, that's all."

"It isn't enough of an answer Lily. I need to know. Tell me what your idea of our friendship is. You said time needs to take its course, but before it even can begin I need to know where we stand."

"I don't know," she said nonchalantly. But then she realized it was true. She was perplexed. She hadn't known where she wanted to start off exactly. "I really don't. We can't just pick up where we left off. It would be too terribly hard to do it that way."

"Wherever you want to start is fine, just as long as we don't start of as enemies. I can deal with anything."

"Should we start over then? I don't know where else to start."

He stood up. Lily soon followed. He picked up a broken flower and revived it. The once brown dead flower turned into a white beautiful flower. It floated into Lily's hand gracefully. She starred at the flower for a few seconds. Memories flooded her. She knew what he meant by it. "Hi, I'm Lily." Her voice was happy, almost childlike.

Just as the day they met he put his thin, pale hand in front of Lily. "I'm Severus." They shook hands.

"Thank you." Lily and Severus were both happy. They had started over. It wouldn't be the same as before. He had to earn her trust once more, but he would do it.

They walked back to the center of the village. It was empty of people. Most of the students had gone back to Hogwarts. It was nearly dusk when they arrived. Their stomachs growled as they had skipped lunch that day. "We should get going shouldn't we?" Lily was hoping that they would make it back to Hogwarts in time for dinner.

They entered the dining hall wearing their Hogwarts uniforms. For the first time in years Lily sat next to Severus, instead of the Marauders. It seemed right to do it that way. She didn't want him to be all alone again. So her surprise Regulus soon sat down next to him as well. Maybe he wasn't as lonely as she thought he was. Severus was in the middle between them. It wasn't his favorite spot.

"Sev, you hadn't told me you were friends with Reg."

"I thought I did…" Does she really think I am that lonely? Not even I could stand being all alone. "Are you two acquainted?"

"She called you Sev! Merlin, I thought you killed anyone who called you that!" Reg looked at Lily who was giggling. "As you know, I'm Regulus, Sirius' younger brother. Don't believe a word he says about me, it isn't true. 'Sev' is like a big brother to me." He cringed as he heard him use his nickname. He only allowed Lily to call him that. "I was sure he would tell you about me. After all, I'm pretty hard to ignore." Severus chuckled on the inside. He was completely impossible to ignore.

"I'm Lily. Sev and I just made up recently." Regulus shot Severus a look that meant they had to talk about this.

"Severus, can we go out into the hall for a moment?"

"I'll be back soon Lily. Just don't get into any fights with the other people at this table. They aren't exactly too fond of you Lily. I'm sorry."

"Just hurry."

They walked out into the hall. "What do you think you're doing? She's with that Potter git. Do you plan on winning her back or something? Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"We were never together in the first place. I don't plan on being anything more than her friend. I don't deserve anything more than that, not even this. I won't ask anything of her."

"Just don't mess up this time Severus. Neither of you can afford it."

"I know." They walked back into the dining hall. Lily remained unharmed thankfully. "Sorry about that. He had to tell me something important."

"It's fine."

Just as he began to sit down Henry Napier, a blond haired, brown eyed third year Hufflepuff came up to him. "Snape, you're needed in the infirmary. Potter is in trouble. Madame Pomfrey doesn't know what to do." A look of terror filled Lily's face as she heard this. She had never been so scarred in her life. "What are you waiting for? You need to get going." With that said the four of them raced into the halls without having eaten dinner. They didn't know what to expect.

A/N: Please review, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, feel free to PM me with any questions, as I will not be answering them in any Author's Notes.