There are a lot of cultural references in this chapter. I can blame the Monty Python stuff on a trip to see the musical Spamalot while I was writing this chapter. I don't own anything Monty Python related, or Ashes to Ashes related, I'm just a fan.

The Slow Road to Heaven or the Fast Lane to Hell

Chapter 10

Alex grew increasingly anxious as the time of her meeting with Keats was fast approaching. She had hoped it would be easy to slip away from CID, as Gene was not supposed to be working that day. Her heart sank when he'd informed her that morning; he was going to accompany her into the station. He told her that he could see no point in having the day off, if she was going to be working. She tried to hide her dismay, knowing it would now be awkward to manufacture a reason to leave the station without him getting suspicious.

Mercifully it was a quiet day work-wise, and Alex set herself the task of going through her unfinished paperwork. The office was sparsely populated, and except for herself, only Poirot and Terry were there. Gene was happily pottering about in his office. He sat back in his chair and was soon fast asleep. Alex noticed him slumbering, and thanked her lucky stars for the opportunity to leave without having to submit a weak alibi to his scrutiny. She scribbled a quick note to say she had popped out, and would be back soon. The details of the reason for her absence were purposely omitted. She knew Gene would subject her to a grilling on her return, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it. All she could think about was her meeting with Jim Keats, and what impact that meeting would have on her place in this world. She hurried out along the maze of corridors, and was almost at the reception when she heard a voice calling her name. Panic gripped her, as she at first feared Gene had seen her leaving, and had followed her out. But it wasn't his voice; it was the commanding baritone of Superintendent Clarence. She spun around to face him.

"Alex, I need to speak with you, urgently," he said as he came striding down the corridor towards her.

"Sorry sir, but I don't have the time," she replied as she hurried on towards the exit.

Clarence followed on close behind her.

"I know where you're going, and why," he intimated.

Alex stopped in her tracks and turned around to look him in the eyes. She was feeling desperate and defiant.

"I know you warned me about all of this, but she's my daughter. I can't just stand by and do nothing. If you can tell me it's all a lie and she isn't really in danger, or if you're here to offer me help, then I'll listen. But if you are here to deliver another sermon, then please don't. Save us both the time and trouble," she begged.

"I can do no more than tell you to trust that Molly will be alright. I am not here to deliver any sermons, or to repeat those warnings I gave you on our previous meeting. The choice will always be yours, and you must decide who to put your faith in," Clarence said calmly but firmly.

"So, I'm just supposed to trust that Molly will be alright, and that's that?" Alex questioned with disbelief.

"Yes, or you can put your faith in Jim Keats, and trust his word. I have nothing more to say on the matter, only please, choose wisely," he warned and gave her an earnest look as he turned to leave.

She sighed and tried to keep her composure as the tears threatened to spill, she was determined to stay strong. She picked up her pace again and headed out to keep her appointment, as superintendent Clarence's words echoed through her head.

[Excerpt from the Monty Python Film, Meaning of Life]

Grim Reaper: "You're all dead. I am death."

Host: "Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?"

Alex carefully made her way down the small, dark cinema aisle, as she glanced around looking for Jim Keats. It didn't take her long to spot him, as aside from herself, he was the only person in there. He had chosen a seat three rows from the back and towards the middle of the cinema, so she had to make her way down a row of flipped-up seats to get to him. The feature film had already started, and she cringed at his choice of meeting place. It must have amused him greatly to find this place was playing Monty Python's Meaning of Life, and she knew he was getting some perverse pleasure from it all.

"Now this is funny," Keats said by way of a greeting and without taking his eyes off the screen.

Alex reluctantly pulled down the seat next to his and sat on it. She focused her eyes on the film and only glanced surreptitiously at Keats.

"I would have got 'em all in the end you know, Ray, Chris, Shaz, and even Gene. They all would have ended up at my door one way or another, but then you came along. Sam Tyler had been and gone, and he changed Gene, there's no doubt about that. But you, you were the one who changed everything," he spat out with disdain.

He did not turn to look at her and so Alex purposely turned to face him. She was down to her last nerve and sick of his games.

"Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? I want to save Molly from Arthur Layton, and you said you could make that happen. So what do you want in return, eh?" She asked wearily, keeping in mind what superintendent Clarence had told her.

"My influence extends a lot further than this miserable world. A word in the right ear and Bob's your uncle. Arthur Layton is a weak, wretched excuse for a man, and there ain't one single person who cares about him, he won't be missed," Keats sneered.

"And in return you want WHAT?" Alex asked as her patience finally snapped.

"Bet you're sorry you came back to Never Never land now, aren't you?" He hissed as he finally turned to meet her eyes.

"Poor Gene, he's not quite Peter Pan though, is he? He's sort of the opposite really, because he wanted to grow up, and to have all the things a man should have, like an important job with people who respected him, and a loving wife. I see that ring on your finger, but you know as well as I do, that it's nothing more than a young man's fantasy. You fell in love with a fantasy, because the Gene Hunt you want doesn't really exist, and he never did. You know, it would be rich pickings for me here without your interference. I might even be able to tempt Gene over to the dark side again," Keats paused and regained his composure before leaning in closer to his prey.

"I want you to leave this world for good. You can go to the pub, or you can come to my place, but one way or the other, I want you gone," he hissed.

"What?" Alex asked in astonishment.

"Never let it be said that I haven't got a heart, and I think I'm being more than generous here. You can have until high noon tomorrow to make your mind up, and then you have to go. That's the deal, so take it or leave it," Keats laid out the terms.

"How do I know I can trust you to keep your word, and save Molly?" Alex was rightly sceptical.

"Well, if you decide to come with me, I'm sure I could get you some proof, if it would put your mind at rest," he coaxed.

She shot him a look of disbelief and began to weigh up the various options in her mind.

"You know, in Monty Python's vision of Heaven, it's Christmas every day," Keats explained with a grin.

"Sounds like my idea of Hell," Alex exclaimed.

He raised an eyebrow as he digested that nugget of information and then laughed. He returned to watching the film.

"Why aren't you insisting that I come with you? Why give me the choice? I would have thought that the very least you'd want in return for helping me, was my soul," she inquired.

She didn't trust Keats at all, but his motives at this moment were bewildering to her. She had been steeling herself for much worse.

He gave an impatient sigh and reluctantly tore his eyes from the screen once more.

"Blimey O'Riley! There's that pesky free will thing, isn't there?" He said as if speaking to a small child.

"I could have said, come with me, or else. But you would still have had the choice, and as it is, I can still get what I want, which is you out of this world," he explained.

"What about Louise and Viv? I know you got to Viv too, and now you're telling me you can get to Layton. What about their free will?" Alex queried as she was still perplexed by it all.

Keats let out a puff of irritation.

"DC Louise Gardiner made her bed, and she had to lie in it, and as for Sergeant Viv James, he betrayed you all, so he made his own choice really. Arthur Layton has already chosen his end destination, and now it is only a matter of how quickly he reaches it."

"But Louise and Viv weren't bad people; they just made a mistake, that's all." Alex argued.

"To err is human, to forgive divine, eh?" He mocked.

"What if I don't go? Molly might be alright anyway. I've got no reason to trust your word on anything," she blustered.

"If you want to trust your daughter's fate to Arthur Layton's tender mercies, be my guest," Keats sneered.

"I still don't understand why you're making me choose like this," Alex said with bewilderment.

He finally reached the end of his patience and he stood up to put on his coat.

"It was you that wanted out of the game. The clock's ticking Alex, so I'll leave you to think it over. Enjoy the rest of the film. Oh, I love this bit."

He turned and began walking down the cinema aisle. He joined in with the on screen singing as he departed…

Oh Lord, please don't burn us,

Don't grill us or toast your flock,

Don't put us on a barbecue,

Or simmer us in stock,

Don't braise us or bake or boil us,

Or stir-fry us in a wok.

Oh please don't lightly poach us,

Or baste us with hot fat,

Don't fricassee or roast us,

Or boil us in a vat,

And please don't stick thy servants, Lord,

In a Rotissomat.

Gene blinked his eyes as he came around from his impromptu nap. He had Perry Como's Don't Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes, still echoing in his mind. He couldn't think why he should have been dreaming about listening to that particular song, but it was very vivid. He had seen himself as a young man, sitting in the parlour of his childhood home, and there had been a young woman with him. He didn't know who the woman was, but she was pretty, with long red hair tied back in a pony-tail. She was wearing a pale blue dress that matched her eyes, and it seemed like he had been building up to ask her something very important. He couldn't remember what, though.

He wearily pulled himself onto his feet and stretched out his limbs, as he did so his eyes lazily drifted over to Alex's desk. He noticed it was unoccupied and he snapped into action.

"Where's Drake?" He shouted as he opened his office door.

Terry and Poirot were nonplussed as they hadn't even noticed her leaving.

Gene took in their clueless expressions and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Bloody useless!" He puffed.

He quickly pulled on his coat and headed out of CID. He paused only briefly to pick up the note Alex had left behind. He hated it when she took off without him knowing where she was, as it invariably led to trouble. He would usually end up needing to save her from some lunatic or other. He glanced quickly over the note, and then screwed it up and put it in his pocket.

Gene swiftly made his way out of the station and over to where his new Mercedes was parked. It was a good enough car, but he missed the Quattro, and he hated the colour. He had wanted another red car but the dealership could only get a silver one, if he didn't want to be waiting until Kingdom come. He got into the driver's seat and soon sped out of the parking lot, although he had no clue where he was going. He drove along a few side streets, all the time looking for any sign of Alex. He wasn't sure why he felt so uneasy about her leaving the station. He only knew he had a bad feeling in his gut, and he wouldn't rest until he found her. He turned around another street corner, and suddenly saw a familiar figure walking out of a small cinema on the high street. It was the unwelcome sight of Jim Keats, and Gene quickly pulled over to the kerb and parked up. He instinctively slouched down behind the wheel in the hopes that Keats wouldn't spot him. It wasn't because he was afraid of being seen, but rather he wanted to surreptitiously observe the other man's movements. He watched as Keats crossed the road, and then turned the corner at the top of the street to disappear from his view. Gene was just about to start the engine to follow him, when another familiar figure leaving the cinema caught his attention, it was Alex. His eyes widened in shock as he watched her walk down the street towards where he was parked. She didn't notice him as she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts, and he was still slouched down from his covert observation of Keats.

Alex scurried quickly back towards the station, with the collar of her coat turned up against the cold weather. Gene watched her go as he sat dumbfounded behind the wheel of the Mercedes. He felt like he had been dealt a sucker-punch to the stomach. His memory of his dealings with DCI Jim Keats extended as far as knowing he had tried to bring him down and turn his team against him, even if he couldn't remember exactly why. Gene knew that Jimbo had tried to get at Alex before, but she had turned her back on Keats, and stayed loyal to him, hadn't she? Why was she meeting him now? He was no longer in possession of the missing pieces of the puzzle and he reverted back to his old reactionary self. His temper was starting to flare as he thought about Alex, sneaking out to meet Keats in secret. He resolved to confront her about it and started the car engine. He was forced to stop short as he saw Jimbo stood in front of the car. His face was fixed in a smug grin as he glared at Gene through the car windscreen. He gestured for Hunt to wind down his side window.

"Fancy seeing you here," Keats chirped.

"You know, you shouldn't stand in front of a moving car, you never know when the brakes might accidentally fail," Gene said.

Keats merely laughed in response. He then composed himself, although his face had twisted into a sneer.

"Where are my manners? I haven't offered you my congratulations on your recent engagement. You are one lucky S.O.B Gene Hunt, Alex Drake is quite an extraordinary woman," he said with mock sincerity.

"Go to Hell, Jimbo. Why was she here with you anyway? If you're trying to threaten her in any way..." Gene growled.

"You'll what?" Keats spat back at him trying to goad Hunt into taking action.

"Get out of the way," Gene demanded as he revved the car engine.

He had no intention of getting into a fight with Keats, not yet anyway. He had to hear from Alex first, for her side of the story. He owed her that much, at least. Jim relented and stepped aside but he offered one last parting shot.

"Give my best regards to the future Mrs Hunt, won't you? Every Samson needs a Delilah, eh?"

Gene pushed open the doors to CID with such ferocity, they swung back and smacked against the walls. The resulting thunderous bangs sent the few occupants of the office into a spin, as they jumped out of their seats in shock. He quickly scanned the room and saw that Alex was not amongst the remaining, jittery, officers. Gene fixed Poirot in his glare and spoke directly to him.

"Has Drake been back here?" He growled.

"Yeah, she came in and asked where you'd gone, then she left again," Poirot answered in his still bewildered state.

"Any clues where she's gone this time?" Gene asked.

"Err...No," the hapless detective answered sheepishly.

"Well thanks a bunch! You lot are about as much use as tits on a fish!" Hunt roared as he stomped back out of the office, and went on the hunt for Alex.

He soon came upon the ladies toilets, and heard the sound of sobbing coming from within. He ignored conventions and pushed open the door to go inside. The place was empty except for one cubicle which was engaged, and he inched closer towards it.

"Alex? Are you in there?" He inquired.

There was a pause before the lock clicked open, and she gingerly stepped out of the loo to stand before him.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Gene asked with exasperation.

"Please, don't ask me to explain anything right now, because I honestly wouldn't know where to start," she said.

"I know you've been to see Jim Keats. Just tell me why, Alex? Why would you go to him after everything?" He asked as his hurt and anger threatened to overwhelm him.

She looked at him with wide-eyed shock upon hearing that he knew of her meeting with Keats. She continued to stare at him while her brain tried to formulate a response that wouldn't reveal too much. She was too tired to think straight and just wanted some peace. She tried to flee and moved to go past him, but he grabbed her tightly around both arms.

"Yer going nowhere, not until I get some bloody answers," He yelled and gave her a vigorous shake as he spoke.

"Please Gene, if you love me, trust me when I say I would never willingly do anything to hurt you, Alex begged as she looked deeply into his eyes.

"If I love you, what are yer on about woman? Of course I ruddy love you! But I want to know what Keats wants from you. Did he threaten you? If that bastard has laid a hand on you..." he cut himself off as his temper began to run away from him, and he dug his fingers tighter into Alex's arms, causing her to yelp with pain.

"Gene please, you're hurting me," she tried to free herself from his grasp.

He suddenly snapped back to his senses and released her. He was full of regret for causing her any harm, although he'd never intended to hurt her. Alex eyed him warily and began to rub her arms, as she was certain there would be bruising to show for it later. There were tears forming in the corners of her eyes and she just wanted to run away from everything. She looked down at the engagement ring on her finger. Something inside her brain clicked into place, and she knew she had to go with her head this time, and not her heart.

Alex started to slowly twist the ring off.

"I wish I could find some peace, I really do. I had my chance I know, but the thing is, I couldn't let go of you. I wasn't ready to leave all this behind, to leave you behind, and now I find I can't let go of Molly, either. Although I know I'm not part of her world anymore, she is still my daughter and she always will be. I can't go on like this, I, I just can't. I've seen behind the curtain now, and I know how the magic trick is done, I can't pretend anymore," she sobbed.

Alex hesitantly held out the ring for Gene to take and the sadness and hurt in his eyes stabbed at her heart. But she couldn't turn back now. The sacrifice had to be made and she had to finally let go. He reluctantly reached out to accept the ring, and stood just staring at it in his hand, too numb to move or say anything.

"I'm so sorry, Gene. I love you more than I could ever say, but I can't marry you. I..." Alex broke into another sob and took one last look at Gene before fleeing.

She ran and ran without any notion as to where she was going. She only knew that she wanted the pain to stop. In the darkness of the night an attacker suddenly struck, and Alex never saw him coming. She only felt a blow to her head as she rounded a blind corner, and then nothing.