"So you just quit?" Michelle stared at in horror. "But you've been working towards this your whole life – why in the world would you quit?"
"Well after your wedding I realized that being an agent wasn't what I really wanted. I mean I was doing it more as a way to be closer to Shane. I think I always knew that, and now that he's gone there is no reason for me to do anything Government related. Besides, I got a job offer from Seattle."
"But... that's not even close to here." Michelle's eyes began to tear and Zoe grabbed her best friend in a huge hug.
"Look. You and Sam need to figure out what you're doing. You just got back from your honeymoon, and now that you're a wife you need to be with him. I think I need to do my own thing for once." Zoe refused to let Shane into her head, as much as she wished he was the one taking this step with her. But he had never shown. Not for Michelle's wedding, not after the shooting of the Agent who had tortured him. She had to believe he had his reasons, whatever they may be. They didn't include her that was certain. And maybe that was a good thing. Shane was an Agent, a Director, and a Seal. He oozed authority and danger. Zoe had been kidding herself when she thought he could have a normal life.
"What about the apartment?" Michelle and Sam were moving to a magnificent house, courtesy of her dad, in little more than a week. Zoe had been left the apartment, the whole years rent paid on it.
"I'll lease it out. Please stop thinking of reasons to stop me, it won't work."
"That's true." Piped in a new voice. Sam came strutting in from Michelle's bedroom where he had been packing. "Our little girl needs to fly off for a while. Become a Swan."
"That's the ugly ducking Sam." Michelle laughed.
"I know." He dodged a punch from Zoe who couldn't help but laugh along.
"I promise to write and call. Email is my friend."
"This is ridiculous, you know that."
"Yep."
"Then we can't stop you. Sam, help Zoe start packing." Michelle started to tear up and ran into her bedroom, slamming the door. Zoe looked at Shane in pleading.
"You know I have to do this." Sam's face took on a rare serious expression and he sighed.
"Look as much as my wife might not understand this, you've had quite a year. People coming back from the dead, almost-boyfriends, taxing jobs, and crazy family. I get that this is something you need, and we will support you. Even if it means not seeing you for a while. Shane really did a number on you, I get that." He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "We will always be your best friends. But if this was me, I would need my friends support. So you got it. Ill calm the wife down, and you need to get packing."
"How did you know?"
"What?"
"This was about Shane. I thought I was hiding it pretty well."
"You can only avoid things for so long Zoe. Shane has impacted you whole life whether you get it or not. I wouldn't have noticed it before because I never saw you around him, but you were so focused on everything but love before him. The second he came back, you were like a whole new person. Michelle and I joked you may elope before we had a chance to be married. And then when he was gone you reverted. Yeah it may have seemed normal to anyone else, but once you have all the facts it's hard to miss. Michelle and I are just worried you won't let anyone in again."
"What are you a therapist now?" Sam laughed.
"I must be getting wiser in my old age. I'll leave you alone. You call on when you're ready." Zoe laughed. "Deal."
She stood in front of her mirror, wincing as she noticed how the last few months had really taken their toll. Her skin was paler, she had lost weight, and her mouth seemed to be stuck in a straight line. She never did anything with her hair anymore, just sticking it up in a ponytail. It was the right decision, moving away. She would miss Sam and Michelle, but they needed to be newlyweds. And she had a job offer in Seattle- something not government related.
She turned towards her closet and opened the doors, revealing her clothes and shoe racks. Up on the top shelf were a few boxes and as she pulled them down, something hit her on the head.
"What the heck." She picked up the small object and immediately regretted it. It was the watch Shane had given her. The useless watch. She had thrown it up there a few days after the wedding, trying not to care about him anymore. But she did. She hadn't realized Sam and Michelle had noticed the pit of depression she had fallen into. But Sam was right. She had reverted. And it was time for her to accept that she didn't need a relationship to define her, or a prestigious job. She needed herself first. Maybe the other two would come later, but for now, this would be enough. She started sorting tees and jeans, and let herself sink into her new chore.
"I'm going out for a while Zoe. Call if you need me." Sam peeked his head in the room and gave her a quick thumbs up. She nodded, and went back to folding.
Meanwhile, at the J Edgar Hoover FBI building, a tall man with warm brown eyes was just leaving. He had a shaved head and his muscles were clear through his suit. He was also carrying a box of desk supplies and he wore a huge grin. Shane had finally quit. Given up his government clearance, his badge, his gun, everything. He was officially a civilian. He had accepted a teaching job in Iowa, where he was from. And it was close to his mother, who hadn't seen in years. It would be a new start.
There was only one problem. He didn't have Zoe. Lord knows he would have moved heaven and earth to have her by his side, but it wasn't safe. He had heard that she was moving to Seattle anyway, and it was clear that she didn't want him along. He liked to think that she would have at least spoken to him beforehand if she had wanted him there. But she never came. And coward that he had been over the last few months he never went to her. He was in the middle of debating just going to see her when he ran headfirst into someone on the sidewalk.
"I am so sorry, I didn't see you –"
"Shane?"
"Sam?" He was shocked to see Michelle's husband and Zoë's best friend, wiping off his pants and glaring at him.
"Hello Ass face." He was a little taken aback at Sam's tone.
"I'm sorry?"
"You heard me. If you didn't look like a government trained elephant on steroids I would kick your ass."
"Is this in reference to something, or do you just like insulting and threatening street walkers?"
"Zoe. Zoe man. She has been a mess. And bless her sad little heart if she doesn't try to hide it for all of us but she's been a wreck. You never even called. She had one missed call from you and then your captor gets shot outside, in public, and still nothing. Not one peep from you. I hope you know she quit her lifelong dream job to take some crap in Seattle. She thinks she's going to figure out her life, but really we all know she is only going to nurse her heartbreak in peace. You are the worst person I know Shane. She really fell for you, and you ripped the rug out from under her feet."
Shane listened as Sam berated him, publicly, till he couldn't take it anymore.
"I tried Sam. I tried to go see her. I would make it as far as getting to my car before everything would catch up to me. I'm not good for her. I have a long list of enemies who have no problem with hurting the ones I love-"
"Oh save the drama. I don't care. I really don't. "His face softened a bit. " I just married the girl I love. I can't tell you how it feels to wake up every day knowing she's mine, how lucky that makes me feel. And it makes me sad that you just threw that away. You need to get your priorities straight. She is the best thing that ever could have happened to you." Sam looked as though he was going to say something else, but decided against it. Instead he just shook his head and walked away. Shane was left standing there, feeling even more confused. If he went to Zoe now, wouldn't it just be selfish? Maybe he did need to give her time.
Shane got in his car, turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of his parking space. He jumped on the highway and pulled out his cell phone, knowing what he needed to do.