Chapter 8
Andrianne sat by the window as she read her journal that she wrote when she was ten in her past life. She realized why Chris had been keeping it from her since day one and why Chris is very protective of her. She also realized that she had no right to stop him from going to any school he chooses to go to.
A knock startled her; quickly she orbed the diary under her mattress and pretended as if she was reading a novel instead. "Come in." Her voice cracked.
Chris quickly comes in and embraced her. "Princess. Shhh…" He said as she broke into tears in his arms. "What's wrong, Andy?" He asked but not letting his little sister away from his embrace. "Who made you cry?" He asked.
Andrianne pulled away a little from him as he wiped her tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier. I had no right to do so. I had no right to so." She said apologizing to her big brother.
Chris sighed as shook his head. "Its fine, princess. I'm afraid to leave you too, you know." He said. "But I'll always be back. Just call me if you need anything. And I have the whole three months to spoil you with all my time." Chris said coaxing a smile out of Andrianne.
"Why are you afraid to leave me Chris?" Andrianne questioned. Chris just smiled at her, suggesting that she herself know of the answer. Never once in front of her, he never even thought of the word 'cancer'. "I remember you being so protective over me all the time and never once tried to hurt, even my feelings. What did you do in the past that you regretted so much, that you can't bear seeing me hurt?" Andrianne asked.
The urge for him to tell the truth to her was unbearable, but he could never burden her with another thing. Not when he was sure he was going away for years. "You're my little sister. I lost my sister once. I don't want to lose another one. Not in this life time." Chris said softly, hoping she would drop the subject.
Andrianne looked away from him. Gently Chris cups her face so their eyes meet. "What do you know, Andrianne? What is it you want me to say?" Chris questioned his little sister.
"Diary." Andrianne said as the spiral bound book that he had kept hidden for years appeared in front of his very own eyes. "I wanted you to stay because of my selfish, spoilt brat thoughts." Andrianne started. "But really, I was really channeling the frustration that you felt. The need to go but you can never leave me. You won't." Andrianne said as she held back her tears as she spoke.
"I'm sorry." The voice escaped from Chris' lips.
"Bianca, was just a ploy that you think of, so I would tell everyone a reason I want you to stay. But you're afraid that I'll die. It's going to happen isn't it. But you don't want me to die in your arms. Not again. Because I am very sure that, that was what happened. A day you left void in my memory and a day you are trying to delete from yours." Andrianne said as she placed the diary on her brother's palms.
Chris hesitated before he spoke. "Do you want to know?" He asked. Andrianne just nodded. "The day was awful. I never wanted to tell you. Because dad is here now. He's with us. I don't want to ruin it. Daddy loves us more than his life, Andrianne. I can't tell you about the day. But yes you did…" Chris said stopping mid sentence as a tear splashed on his hands jolt him.
"I did what, Chris?" Andrianne pressed for him to say his sentence. Torturing his mind. A sentence he never want his little sister to hear from his mouth. At the same time torturing her mind as she could feel what he felt. "What happened to me?" She demanded as she hit her brother's chest with her little fists.
"You fell asleep in my arms for eternity." He said quietly. "A sleep that you can never get awakens by anything. I can't, princess. I can't say it. I can't tell you about the day." He said as tears streamed down his face and he pulled his little sister closer so he could feel her heart beating against his skin. "You don't know how good it is to hear you cry for the first time six years ago. No matter how painful it was, as long as you are here with me and mom is fine, I'm glad to see another sunrise."
"Nothing else matter." Andrianne spoke. Her statement was just a completion of what Chris was feeling. "You almost died when I was born. You almost died twice because I was born." Andrianne said.
"I'd give my life, if that is what it takes to keep you alive." Chris whispered. Andrianne pulled herself away from him once again.
"It was cancer that killed me Chris. I would have died eventually. I was living on borrowed times. You can't keep blaming yourself for something that you can't control." Andrianne said, her voice trembled with sadness.
"Andy, you don't understand." Chris voiced out desperate for his little sister to just be there with him. "You are the only thing that kept me alive. I was sad when Azalea passed, but I was a living corpse when you did. I didn't even have the strength to move. It was so painful to even think."
Andrianne got off the window sill and went towards the door. "Chris, mom and dad was there when I died, right?" Andrianne said as Chris squirmed at her words. Andrianne sank to the floor as she felt her brain could explode and her heart could stop. "Chris. Oh my god. Chris, I'm so sorry." Andrianne rushed to her brother as she held him tightly.
"I wish you can't feel what I felt. I'm sorry, Andrianne. Please stop. You don't need to remember the day. I'll work as hard as I humanly can to heal you." Chris pleaded. Andrianne just nodded in her brother's embrace.
*******
The bright early summer's ray licked the skins of the two siblings, waking them up. Andrianne woke up to the familiar smell of her brother beside her. He must have fallen asleep when he was putting her to sleep. "Morning, big brother." She whispered. Chris just smiled as Andrianne planted a kiss on his forehead.
"What's that for?" He asked as his voice cracked.
"Making you cry last night." Andrianne said as she hopped down from her bed and towards the bathroom. Quickly Andrianne took a shower and got into a fresh change of clothes. When she got out of the bathroom, Chris was staring down to the diary she placed in his hand yesterday. "Diary." Andrianne orbed the diary into her hands.
"That's rude, Andrianne." Chris said.
"Sorry." She smiled as she opened a page that she marked. "Dear diary," She began reading. "I feel much better today that I woke up in Chris' arm for the first time in many months. This past was not much different than the future I came from. Chris is still, well Chris. I wish I can find a way to get him to smile again. I saw mom, dad, Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige, I miss them. Speaking of missing people, I miss Ryan the most now. I think he is not yet in planning in this year. And I know today is going to be a blast just because I am with Chris." Andrianne said smiling.
Chris smiled. "December twenty fifth, twenty twenty five." He paused. Andrianne searched the book for that date. "It's Christmas again. Chris is not home yet since he went hunting for demon yesterday. I'm worried. I tried scrying for him, but I couldn't find him. I'm really scared something bad could happen to him." Chris continued. Precisely what was written in the diary. "I went to his room looking for his things so I could scry with fire, and there he was, lying in a pile of paper and surrounded with crystal. I feel like killing him for making me so worried, but he looked so tired. Instead, I took a blanket and covered him. Then I went out to the living room only to see a bunch of lavender and blueberry pancakes. No wonder he was so tired. I love my brother so much, I hope he knows it." Chris concluded. "I do. I know. And I love you more than you could ever imagine." he said.
"You remembered word by word." Andrianne said amazed as she advanced towards her brother.
"I had it for years, before you were born. I read them every time I can't stand missing you." Chris replied.
"Does Azalea have a diary too?" Andrianne asked. Chris just shook his head.
"But she was more vocal than you are. She talks all the time." Chris said remembering his other younger sister. The times he had with her had been memorable but not as the ones he had with Andrianne.
"I talk all the time." Andrianne said. Chris just let out a laugh and trailed behind his little sister as she heads down stairs. "Morning, big brother." Andrianne said as she jumped on Wyatt's lap as he was playing with his console game. The car he was driving in the game crashed and gamed over. Wyatt sighed as he placed Andrianne beside him.
"Thank you." Wyatt said sarcastically. Andrianne smiled and sat back on his lap.
"You're welcome." Andrianne replied.
"Go bother other big brother. This one wants to play his game." Wyatt said coaxing his little sister off his lap. Andrianne shook her head. "Mommy made blueberry pancakes." He said trying to excite his little sister. Andrianne shook her head again. "Fine. Stay, Android." Andrianne stuck her tongue out and sat still. "Alright, alright, let's eat." Wyatt said hoisting her up in his arms. "You're such a brat you know."
Andrianne nodded as she smiled at her eldest brother. "I can't do this to you anymore when you're in college." Andrianne smiled as they entered the dining room. Wyatt rolled his eyes. "I might just miss someone calling me Android and bossing me around."
"I can ask Ryan to call you Android." Wyatt flashed a smile at his little sister as he placed her on the chair beside him. Andrianne just stuck her tongue out. "Where's Ryan anyways?" Wyatt asked as he turned to Chris who was quietly eating his breakfast. Chris just shrugged his shoulders.
"He said Nadim's in town for the week, I supposed they went out or something." Andrianne said as she munched her own breakfast. Chris rolled his eyes and Wyatt looked at her questioningly. "What?" She asked. "He told me yesterday, or I heard him say it in his head or something."
Wyatt made a face at his little sister. "You have to stay out of people's mind, Andy. It's not right." Wyatt said. Andrianne just smiled.
"I know, I only listen when I want to." Andrianne said cheekily. "But I can never get in yours or Chris'. I can feel your emotion but I can't hear your thoughts." Andrianne asked.
Chris smiled guiltily. "Well if you can hear our thoughts, then we can't exactly keep anything from anyone. So, we had a little potion mixed up but it did not work as we liked it to." Chris said as he eyed Wyatt to continue.
"It's supposed to block you from our feelings as well, but it didn't work." Wyatt continued. At the expanse of being shouted at by their mother, the two boys just guiltily looked down at their food.
"The same one you made for Aunt Phoebe before?" Piper asked as she turned to Chris. The young man just nodded. "Why didn't any of you tell me?" Piper asked her boys. "Right, because it's wrong to do so. But it protects your little sister. That makes it fine."
"Doesn't make it right." Chris mumbled to himself.
"Do you have to beat up yourself for every little thing, Chris?" Wyatt questioned his younger brother. Chris just shook his head. "You both went to bed in tears yesterday. It doesn't take an empath to see you're killing yourself every second of the day. It hurts her to see you hurt, Chris."
Piper quietly sat beside Andrianne's chair. "I know you can feel the building emotion in the room. Even I can feel it. How do you control them? Even your Aunt Piper doesn't have the control over her power like you do." Piper asked.
"I just ignore the feeling from these two. They are way too emotional for a guy." Andrianne said smiling at her mother. "I sort of build resistance when growing up with tremendous amount of emotion. Especially from Chris." Andrianne said flashing her thousand watt smile at her brother.
"Ha, funny." Chris said.
"December twenty sixth, twenty twenty five." Andrianne started as she looked at Chris. Chris shook his head and smiled.
"Blueberry pancake was awesome. Ryan did it; not Chris." Andrianne and Chris said together as they shared their laughter, making Wyatt and Piper a little lost.