Okay peeps grab the tissue box or four cause the $hit has hit the fan. This is very dark came from a very dark place in my mind. No "Happy Reading" this time just reading. Happy New Year's Eve and New Year!

TRIGGER WARNING FOR MILD ABUSE

meaning it's talked about in small detail.

DIS: I own nothing but the tears that are bound to come out of your eyes. (Sorry)

"Fine. Oh! I know where we can go."

"How far is it and how long will it take?" Christian asks as he buckles his seatbelt.

"It's forty-three miles so almost an hour and a half." I say turning onto interstate 87.

"Where is it?"

"It's in Armonk."

"What is it?"

"Elena's old house. Which is kind of my house because she said I could use it." I answer focusing on the road because I know he is staring daggers just by what I can see out of my eye.

"Why?

"I used to live there as well."

"Are related to her?"

"God no! Why would you even ask that?"

"So you used to live there and you can use it whenever you want to, how are you not related to her?" He asks still looking at me when I look over at him.

"I will explain it all when we get there."

"Fine."

It's almost midnight when we drive onto the dirt road that leads to the house that Christian speaks again.

"I think I've been here before."

"If you know her how I know her, you probable have."

"How do you know her Anastasia?"

"When we get in the house I will tell you and then show you." I say parking the car in the driveway and getting the bag of clothes I keep in the trunk.

"Ana I've been here before. I was seventeen when she brought me here the first time. Oh my god, Ana, please tell me you aren't- weren't one of them."

"Once I start talking please do not stop me or interrupt. Am I clear?" I ask sitting in a chair furthest from where he is sitting.

"Crystle."

"I was seventeen when Elena became my dominatrix. For six months she tortured me everyday. Day in and day out for six months I was her personal play toy. To use or to lend out to whomever she saw fit. The only thing they didn't do was intercourse. I remember one time she had this guy come in and beat me to his heart's content. That was the day I started to close myself off. I told myself that no one would ever get close enough to do that to me again. So I ran away only to be caught and brought back and have it happen again, and again. You thought I was a crazy bitch earlier, you would have thought I belonged in an asylum for the clinically insane that last week I was there.

It was the week before my eighteenth birthday when she had that same guy that had beat me come back. Only this time I wasn't going to let him leave without a mark as well. So when Elena locked us in that room I acted like his pain was the root of my happiness. And that was the day Elena was waiting for, the day I showed her I could be dominant and aggressive. She let me go back to Seattle with a full ride scholarship to any college I wanted to attend. But that's not what I wanted, so I moved in with my dad and applied to the police academy two days after my eighteenth birthday and here I am today. Your turn."

"I have a question." Christian says slowly making his way across the living room to stand in front of me. And when he is directly in front of me I can see that he looks as if he is in a great deal of pain.

"What is it?"

"Did you ever see his face?" He asks.

"No. She made us wear a-"

"Mask." He says completing my sentence and it's now that I am frightened of him or of what he may have done.

"How do you know that?" I ask standing up and moving away from him.

"Let me see your back Ana."

"Let me see your chest Christian."

"It was you. Oh god. Ana I'm so sorry."

"Sorry won't make the memory of what YOU did to me go away Christian. Nothing will make that go away. Not saying 'I'm sorry' a million times, nothing. Nothing will make the pain of that night go away. You wanna know something, Christian? I still have nightmares about it, those nights. And you just made it worse by putting a face and a name to the main character of it." I tell him running up the stairs to the one place I ever felt safe. The violin room.

For hours after I wake, I have been sitting here playing the same notes over and over, just to get away from all that had happened on Saturday afternoon, only to be interrupted by an echo of the piano in the great room down the stairs. I decide to humor myself and play along for the sake of having nothing better to do. I play the opening verse from Haley Reinhart's Undone, only to have it thrown back at me on the piano so I decide to literary face my fears, after a day and a half, and go down stairs with my violin and bow at both sides.

"Hey." Christian says as I descend the last few stairs and make my way over to the bench next to the piano.

"You know the song?"

"I know the chords not the words." He answers turning back to the piano.

"Whenever you're ready." I say putting the violin back under my chin and place the bow in position and start to play with Christian playing alongside me.

"Let me see your chest." I ask once the song has ended.

"Ana I-"

"Please?" I ask and he sighs, standing up he starts unbuttoning his shirt from the bottom up until his full front is showing.

"I did that to you." I say in nearly a whisper.

"Show me."

I don't trust myself with words so I nod my head and lift my shirt up over my head. No need to feel shy about my body he's seen it in less before.

"I made those marks. We did it to each other."

"We sure are one pair made in the basement of this house." I say trying to lighten the mood after I put my shirt back on.

"Is this how you knew the real meaning behind what I was saying yesterday in the office?"

"Yes it is."

"Would you play something else?" Christian ask, moving to sit directly in front of me.

"What would you like to hear?"

"Whatever you want to play."

"I'll play one I just learned, so forgive me if I mess up." I say. But as I go to start the first verse my phone starts ringing.

"Agent Steele." I answers once I'm a

"Good afternoon, Steele. I got some news for you."

"What's up Lou?"

"We just finished with Mrs. Greys interview, so I'm letting you know that she can have visitors."

"Oh my god how could we have forgotten about her. Thank you for letting me know, we'll be up there as soon as Director Carson says it's all clear."

"I'll see you when you get here then." She says and I end the with Christian looking at me expectantly.

"You want to go see your mom?"

"How could I have forgotten my own mother? When can we leave?"

"We can leave as soon as Director Carson gives us the go ahead."

"You going to call her?"

"Um about that. The director is the one person who can't be reached on the weekend unless it is a category four notification."

"And what is a category four?"

"A missing, or shot agent."

"Are kidding me right now."

"Nope, it's one rule that everyone has followed because if one person needs a break it's the director. She is called away from her family for more than you would think was possible, chooses the cases that are given to the head agents, knowing that there are so many more cases that will go unsolved because of her choice. So she is given two days to spend with her family uninterrupted. Not having to think of the families who will not have justice for their loved ones that went missing or were innocent victims of serial killer's."

"I had no idea she did that. I made it this long one more day is going to hurt."

"Good. Now I have to call Kate and let her know." I say as I pull up her contact.

"Hey Ana-girl, what can I do for you?"

"Meet me at the address i'm about to send you."

"You got it babe, depending on where I say be there in about two maybe three hours."

"Okay I just sent it so you should have it. You can put it in the car's gps."

"Okay. See you when I get there, bye."

"Bye Kate." I answer back and end the call only to have it start ringing before I can put it back down.

"Agent Steele?"

"Anastasia would you mind telling me why you were seen holden Christian and why it is on television? But before you answer that tell me why the hell you know him well enough to get that close in the first place?"

"Elena, he is just a client. But don't think for a second I don't know exactly who he is. We talked about it and got over it like adults, not like the children we were when it happened. I told you I was done with that lifestyle and I meant it."

"Oh dear girl, I went through the same thing you did, said those same words. But look at where I am now.

"That's because you are much weaker than I am Elena. I wont let you drag me back down. I worked to hard to get where I am now."

I say and hang up the phone not giving her a chance to say anything back.

I look up and see Christian looking at me with pity in his eyes.

"I hurt you just as much as you hurt me, so don't look at me like that."

"You got it."

"And Christian, you tell anyone about how I let my soft side show or act like girl and how messed up my past is, I will kill you and make it look like an accident. You are not my friend so know that I mean what I say."

I turn and head back up the stairs, satisfied at his frightened look on his face.