Disclaimer: I now officially own my very own boxed set of His Dark Materials. Yay me!

Author's Notes: Yay! I'm out of school! And I've updated! Happy time, yes? So anyway, I've been quite busy as of lately. Why am I busy? Why, I've been reading! And what have I been reading? Why, none other than some the greatest books ever known to man--His Dark Materials! (For all of you who don't know, His Dark Materials is a trilogy consisting of The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass. Read them!)

And as for this story, I'm sensing about three to four more chapters left. And now that I'm out of school, I'll have the actual time to work on them! (And various other one-shots that I've gotten inspiration for but actually haven't started.)

So... enjoy and review.

Aliss

Christopher

7 February, 1977

I feel unbelievably horrid for yelling at James the other day. I know what he said really hurt me and that I was unfairly emotional, but I still shouldn't have exploded at him like I did. I feel like a load of dung for doing it, but I have a short fuse that he knows how to light.

I just couldn't believe his nerve! Demanding that I break up with Christopher, like he could control me and tell me what to do! If anyone should know any one thing about me, they should know that I'll do as I please and certainly no one is going to make me do something I don't want to do. Some people say I'm over-assertive; I say I'm just exercising my free will.

So, feeling as horrible as I did after stewing all day yesterday, I went to find James to muster up a rare enough apology. It takes quite a bit to push me to apologizing, so I was banking on him being appreciative so it might be easier.

Our conversation went as follows, or as close as I can recall as I have the memory of something that doesn't have a very good memory at all:

"Er…" was my original opening line as I stood in front of James's chair, where he was reading a Quidditch magazine. Most of the Gryffindors were in the Great Hall eating, like I very much would have liked to be doing, but making amends with James was at the top of today's To Do list, and I figured I'd get that out of the way (besides the fact that I wouldn't have been able to eat anyway, being so guilty).

He looked up at me, colored a very endearing shade of pink, and turned his face back down to his book.

"James?" I began again. "Could we—ah—have a word?"

He turned his head up at me and stared at me with those big hazel eyes and just blinked. His ears were still very red.

I took that as a yes and sat on the couch next to his chair, folding my hands in my lap and fidgeting uncomfortably.

"You see now, James," I began awkwardly, almost as if he was a little child, "I'm very awfully sorry about the other day, but you had me terribly upset and I couldn't help but yell at you."

He didn't say anything, so I went on.

"But I still hated yelling at you, and I know it was wrong, and I hate that I couldn't control myself and that I did it, and—bugger, why won't you say anything?"

He looked up at me with that purposeful gleam in his eye when he spoke. "I want to go out with you."

Out of all the things he could have possibly said, this was the one I was least expecting. Apologizing, perhaps, or maybe another going on about how Christopher just wasn't for me, but certainly not this.

"Oh. Erm…" I stuttered, turning progressively pinker all the while (I could feel my face burning). "James, I—"

"I know you have a boyfriend, Lily, and I just thought I'd finally come out and say it. I've fancied you for a long time and if you ever need a bloke who can appreciate you, well… there's always me." He jutted out his chin in apparent defiance and it seemed as though he was trying to ignore how pink his face really was.

"James, I... I—"

He looked genuinely surprised that I'd opened my mouth at all and at once looked away in mortification.

"James, Christopher and I broke it off."

"Oh. I… er—" he stuttered, unable to find the proper words to express his joy while at the same time remaining sympathetic and understanding. Simply put, he looked quite confused at how to respond.

"Could we just, you know—"

"Sort of just—?"

"Pretend it never…"

"And then everything—"

"Yeh."

"Alright."

For what it's worth, this bit of the conversation wasn't nearly as confusing as it seems. We both knew exactly what we were talking about and completely understood each other (yet another odd trait we seem to have acquired around each other).

"It's like the past days have never happened," I stated, and he nodded his head in agreement. We sat silently for a few moments before I ever-so-discreetly turned my head to peer at him. He was staring right back at me.

He grinned apprehensively and reached inside of his robes for something. "Chocolate Frog?" he questioned, pulling out a battered container.

I shook my head as I took the Frog from him and popped the wrapper open. It jumped and landed—where else?—but in my hair, where it lands every single time I happen to open one of those little buggers. I pulled it out of my hair as it gave a feeble kick and mercilessly snapped the legs off. Stuffing a leg in my mouth, I gave the body to James, who grinned and accepted the mutilated frog body from me, just like he always does.

After a few more awkward moments of us munching on the chocolate, he stood up, adjusted his robes, and said, "Well, I'm heading down to grab a bite. You, er—you want to come?"

I blinked at him before saying, "Uh… yeah, go on ahead of me. I'll catch up with you in a bit."

He nodded his head and in a swish of his robes he was out the portrait hole. I paused for a few minutes to make sure he was absolutely gone before standing up myself.

A grin broke out on my face, a grin that grew the longer I stood there until I couldn't stand it anymore and threw my hands up and gave a high-pitched girly scream for the whole common room to hear. And then I did the least Head Girl-ish thing one could do—I jumped up and down on the common room couch, the one that always creaks and groans when you sit on it, and chanted over and over again, "He still fancies me! He still fancies me!"

What, you thought I wouldn't be overjoyed that the bloke I fancy fancies me back? Of course I was! I was ecstatic! I was beyond words! I was…

I was unsure of what to do. Should I just go right out and tell him what I feel? Should I wait a few days, let him know he's not just a rebound? What should I do?

And as much as I hate to admit it, I care about what other people think of me. I don't want people to think horrid things about me just because I was chucked by my boyfriend and then had a new one only two days later. I don't want them to think I'd go out with James only because I was distraught over Christopher and that I was feeling lonely and depressed. I want people to know that the only reason I'd go out with James Potter is because I like him very much so and I want to be with him, not because I was chucked.

But either way, I very much like James, and I can only hope that he'll ask me out sometime soon. Just as long as he knows I like him very much.

He does know I fancy him, doesn't he?