Author's Note:
Hello everyone! Gosh I love you all and how passionate you are about this story. Soo...
My girl Brittany got a LOT of hate in the reviews last chapter. And I don't know that things turn around for her too soon. And you are of course free to hate her, she is being a bitch, but I will say two things on her behalf. She knows more about Kurt's history. And just to clarify...any Dom should be able to "catch" any sub. Sexual orientation does not matter. Carole was unable to "catch" Finn's father. Santana is able to "catch" Blaine. It is one of the things that defines a Gray (the inability to emit any energy to balance domination or submission, which is what is meant by "catching") and one of the major reasons subs are taught it is dangerous to be with a Gray.
Now on to business for this chapter:
My beta called this chapter "shocking, extreme and beautiful." I was having a crisis of faith about posting it. I know that it may upset some of you. I'm going to ask you to remember that this is just one moment in a story full of moments. But it was the first chapter I wrote, it was the one that gave birth to this world, and I felt like no matter the risk, I had to include it.
***Warnings ***
Pairing Warnings are all the way at the end of this page, so PLEASE scroll down for that unless you trust me implicitly (or hate spoilers), don't yell at me that I didn't warn.
Trigger Warnings: Dubious Consent twice, significant punishment (including some sexual acts) involving one of the pairings warned below.
Please feel free to DM me questions if you have them before you read, I am more than happy to answer.
Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No
~ Evanescence
"Okay," Santana said, grabbing her purse. "I will drop you both off, you will look out for each other, neither of you will have more than one drink," she said, looking pointedly at Blaine, "and as soon as I'm done at work I will pick you both up. I'll be gone two hours tops. Understood?"
"Yes Ma'am," Brittany said, playing with the pleat in her skirt. Santana eyed her up and down one more time. She of course wanted her girlfriend to look good, but she did not want her looking too good. Satisfied with the mid-thigh skirt and the pink t-shirt, she turned to her other sub. "Blaine?" she coaxed.
He was looking in the mirror one more time, fixing his bowtie and making sure his hair was gelled within an inch of its life. "Yeah, Santana, fine," he said dismissively, until she grabbed his chin and forced his eyes to meet hers. He thought they were a little terrifying. "Yes Ma'am, I understand, Ma'am," he said, adding the extra Ma'am cheekily.
"You're such a smart ass," she said, giving his backside a swift smack as he passed by but Blaine just smiled. Brittany winked at him. Blaine's smile grew brighter. With both of them in a mischievous mood and no chaperone, there was potential for this party to be the best they'd ever been to.
Santana glared at them both with great suspicion. "Come on you two before I change my mind," she growled.
Brittany and Blaine grabbed hands and made their way out of the apartment to the street. With their Dom watching they were well-behaved on the subway and all the way to the address Brittany had written on her hand. On the sidewalk of the brownstone, they could already hear music pumping from inside the apartment. They both eyed her hopefully.
"Oh hell no," Santana snapped, grabbing both their shoulders. "I am walking you inside and putting you in safe hands."
They both rolled their eyes but let her lead them in the unlocked door. The music was twice as loud inside, the lights were flashing and a ton of people that Blaine had never met before were inside. Above their heads was a huge Bon Voyage sign.
But one person he knew all too well was there and their eyes met across the crowded room.
"Blaine don't," Brittany whispered, squeezing his hand and trying to keep him from going to Kurt, but she was quickly distracted by a loud voice.
"Brittany!"
Blaine turned to see an African-American woman with a warm smile fly over to Britt and give her a hug, squealing in delight. Behind her came a very good looking, muscular man with blonde hair and a goofy sexiness about him.
"Santana," Brittany said, taking her girlfriend's hand after hugging them both. "This is Mercedes and Sam. Guys this is my Dom, Santana," she said then turned to Blaine. "And this is Blaine."
"It's amazing to meet you Mercedes, Brittany has told me so much about you," Santana said, just a bit starstruck. Brittany had played her Mercedes' EP and Blaine had to admit that when Santana sung along their voices blended beautifully.
Mercedes grinned and Santana and Brittany got to talking about music and the new album and though Blaine would have been more than happy to join in, he noticed Sam was looking around a bit shyly.
Ever the gentleman, Blaine held his hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet you Sam," he said and he could see Sam took no note of his white cuff as he shook his hand with a smile. Blaine did take note of his gold one and smiled back. "So you guys are part of the McKinley Contingent?"
Sam laughed. "Yeah I guess so," he said. "Been together so long now, it's gonna be weird being apart."
"I'm sure it will be, but it's amazing you get to go on tour with Mercedes. How long are you gone for?" Blaine asked.
"6 months at least," Sam said. "It is amazing. You know Mercedes asked Brittany to go with her as a dancer? She wouldn't of course, she couldn't leave Santana, but it would have been a blast to have her along."
"It will be a blast anyway," Blaine assured him kindly and his eyes lit up with excitement just thinking about it. "I can only imagine the kind of people you'll meet on the road, the kind of music it will inspire."
"Are you a musician too?" Sam asked.
Blaine shrugged unpretentiously. "I try," he said. "I've always been interested in music theory and composition. I play piano pretty well and I've written a few songs, though they aren't really any good."
"I'm sure they are," Sam said.
"Nah," Blaine laughed, a modest blush rising to his cheeks. "I'm a musical theater major, I just dabble in that other stuff."
"Well maybe that'll change," Sam suggested with a smile. "Write something good and maybe Mercedes will sing it someday. You have a little in," Sam smirked, looking at Brittany laughing with Mercedes.
Blaine started to answer but Santana grabbed his hand and steered him away next to Brittany. "Alright you two," she said, bringing them both aside. "I will be at my evening seminar for two hours. I am trusting you both. I expect you to respect yourselves and everyone else here tonight, most especially Kurt, is that understood?" Both of them nodded though Blaine didn't believe that Brittany meant it. "No repeats of the other night at the club Blaine," she warned clearly, "and Brittany, I will take your cuff," she said, holding out her hand. Brittany reluctantly but willingly obeyed, sliding the golden bracelet off her wrist and handing it to her Dom. "Remember who you belong to," Santana told her.
"Yes Ma'am," Brittany answered.
Santana smiled and kissed her on the lips. "Have fun love," she told her then turned to Blaine, kissing his cheek. "You too, sweetheart," she said, then whispered, "I saw Kurt go into the other room." She winked at him, waved her fingers at them both and walked out the door.
Blaine looked over his shoulder in the direction Santana had indicated.
Brittany grabbed his shoulders and turned him back, dragging him in the opposite direction. "No," she said firmly. "Anyone but Kurt tonight Blaine. Anyone."
Kurt stepped away from the corner where he'd been watching the front door for Blaine's arrival, and slid dejectedly up to his best friend. "I don't think you have to worry about meeting him Rachel, he's not gonna come over here," he told her with a frown. For a minute it had looked like Blaine was going to head his way, but Brittany grabbed him swiftly and ushered him away to a large group of what looked like frat boys. It had been a while since Brittany had dated any guys, but Brittany had always had a thing for muscles and it was looking like Blaine was enjoying himself too. At least for the little while before Kurt couldn't bear to watch anymore.
"It's for the best Kurt, you know that," Rachel said. "I don't know why you're still hanging on to the idea that it could work with him when you know it would be the worst thing for both of you."
"What would be the worst thing for both of you?" Jesse asked, sneaking up behind them and sticking his head in between the two friends. Jesse and Kurt had been tolerating one another since their initial conversation for the benefit of the show and though Kurt had no idea how Jesse had been invited to this party, he was pretty sure it hadn't been Rachel by the way she was glaring at him.
"Blaine," Rachel answered with annoyance, though Kurt wasn't quite sure which one of them she was more annoyed at.
Jesse though perked up. "Oh, he's here? Where Kurt? Show me."
Rachel huffed. "Leave me out of this, I don't even want to know."
Kurt ignored Rachel as she walked away to the punch table. He led Jesse to the group of frat guys, but though Brittany remained, lying on a table laughing as what appeared to be a human salt lick for the guys doing shots, Blaine was no longer among them. He and Jesse walked around the apartment which had more nooks and crannies than an old Victorian mansion, finally finding him center of attention in a group of girls from NYADA. "Right there," Kurt said, unable to hide the sadness in his heart.
"Ooo, you're right Kurt, he is cute," Jesse winked and draped his arms over Kurt's shoulders with a laugh. Just at that moment, Blaine looked over at them, catching the display, then quickly turning away. Kurt pulled out of Jesse's arms and nearly ran over to tell Blaine it wasn't what it looked like, but as much as it hurt, maybe it was better for him to think that it was. He couldn't stay where he was though, and he slipped away to get some air. Jesse smirked and joined Rachel back at the punch table.
"You shouldn't encourage him," Rachel reprimanded sternly, downing the heavily spiked punch. When she was done he instinctually took the cup from her hand and threw it out for her. "It isn't good for him to keep dreaming like that, of things that can't be. He needs to let go."
"Who says?" Jesse asked. She turned and glared.
"Kurt's a Gray, Jesse. And Blaine's a sub. Don't tell me you think that they should risk their lives to be together," Rachel argued.
"I think giving up on your dreams is more of a risk. I think giving up on loving the person you love is giving up on yourself," Jesse said pointedly.
Rachel stared at him, emotions swirling in her eyes. "And sometimes not letting go destroys the person you meant to love," she snapped. "And then it's just too late."
Jesse grabbed her hands and knelt down in front of her. Rachel's eyes grew wide and she looked around self-consciously, but no one was watching. "It's not too late Rachel. I have never stopped loving you," he said, not at all afraid of bearing his soul. At this point he had nothing to lose. "When Finn died every cell in my body was buzzing with the need to care for you. It took everything in my power not to drop everything I was doing and go to you. I know how much he meant to you. Means to you," he corrected himself. "I would never try to replace him Rachel I swear. And I would never push you, ever. The only thing I've ever wanted for you is for you to be happy."
"That's a lie and you know it, get up!" Rachel scolded, pulling her hands away and he thankfully followed her command. It hurt too much to see him kneeling because no matter how hard she tried the only face she wanted looking up at her was Finn's. "When we were together there were lots of lies and lots of disrespect that we still haven't talked about, and I'm not ready," Rachel insisted. When he tried to interrupt, her dominance swirled angrily. "I told you that and you can't even respect it now Jesse. You're pushing whether you think you are or not. You're pushing too far and if you do that…"
"Rachel, I knew in high school that I needed to give you your space. That it was Finn's time and no matter how much it hurt me that I needed to wait, it was punishment for what I'd done to you and to him. I accepted that Rachel. But he's gone and I'm here-"
"You can't just replace him!" Rachel yelled. "He was my person!"
"And you're mine!" Jesse cried.
"No." Rachel shook her head violently. The walls were caving in and her dominance was begging for freedom, begging to lash out at him. If she didn't get away from him soon she would regret what she would do. "I can't do this," she snapped before storming off in search of any submission other than his that would soothe her.
In the living room she grabbed another shot of something, she didn't even know what, and then another, downing the liquid fire as if it could quell her need but it couldn't, it only made her more impulsive. She searched and searched, her balance slightly off and her eyesight blurred, but even stumbling she found what she was looking for in the corner of a room in the rear of the house. Gorgeous with a perfect body, slicked black hair, sad hazel eyes filled with tears and submission rolling off him like water over a boulder.
She just barely resisted putting hands on him when she walked over and her dominance immediately latched on to his submission as if he had just been waiting for someone to catch him. "Are you alright?" she asked tenderly, drawing nearer. "You're too beautiful to be sad." He let a watery chuckle escape and he wiped his eyes with his hand. His right sleeve slipped and his white cuff peaked out from underneath it. He could hear her small inhale of breath as she immediately figured out who he was. "You're Santana's sub aren't you?"
He nodded, his eyes dipping involuntarily to the floor. "Yes," he said, then looked back up at her. "Blaine Anderson. And you're Rachel Berry. Kurt's roommate. I've seen pictures."
"Oh Kurt was right," she muttered under her breath, her words slurring just a bit on her alcohol slowed tongue. "You are very cute. I see his problem now."
Blaine didn't want to think about Kurt so instead he laughed awkwardly. "Well you're not so bad yourself," he said, and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, not at all meaning to have flirted with her. But he was just a little bit drunk, more than a little bit broken, much too high on the fury of her dominance surrounding him and very much in need of some attention.
She put a hand on his arm, trailing it down until she reached the cuff on his wrist. She slipped a finger underneath, rubbing the leather between her fingertips. He was reminded of Elliot and submission rolled off of him, his pulse quickening with nerves. He was sure she felt it and she flashed him a coy glance. "So…white?" she said with a question in her eye.
"Yes," he admitted, then really took a moment to take all of her in. "You know what that means. You told Kurt."
"Of course," she said, biting her lip seductively. Her eyes flashed over his shoulder and back so quickly he thought he might have imagined it. "So are you even allowed to date?" she asked. "Or have you been pursuing Kurt in disobedience?"
Blaine lowered his eyes, rolling his lips between his teeth to hide the complexity of the question and the answer. "No," he told her firmly. "I mean, yes I am. Allowed to date."
Rachel took one step closer, keeping her hand firmly on his cuff. "Are you allowed to kiss?" she asked, her eyes gazing up at him like she could devour him.
His eyes widened and he nodded, his words not keeping up with his body or the warning in his head that he was going to be in tremendous trouble if he kissed this girl. "Yes?"
She grabbed his wrists and raised them high above his head, turning him and pushing him back against the wall. Blaine let out a mewl so pretty that her heart skipped a beat. She had been right. There was no way Kurt could satisfy Blaine's submission. It was strong but willful, needing taming and containment. He needed a powerful Dom like herself. No matter how much she loved Kurt, she knew without a doubt that if Kurt and Blaine were together, this boy would surely destroy them both.
"You ever been kissed by a woman?" she asked breathlessly.
Blaine nodded, his eyes growing glassier the harder he fell and when he spoke his voice was wrecked. "Yes ma'am, I've kissed Santana."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Santana only likes girls, she can't give you what you need. Ever kiss a woman who likes men?"
Blaine knew that hadn't been why it hadn't worked between him and Santana. He knew because just the other day he'd kissed other girls though he had been terribly drunk that time, much more drunk than now. He knew it hadn't worked because he wanted men, only men. Somewhere in his fuzzy subspace addled mind he knew that there was one man and only one man that he wanted, and somewhere he knew that what he was doing was very wrong, but he couldn't remember now, his mind clouded with her scent and the feel of her soft hands gripped tight around his wrist, the sensation of her squeezing and crowding his body, surrounding him with her dominance and not letting anything else in.
"I like men Blaine," Rachel was telling him, a whisper in his ear. "I like you. Would you like me to kiss you?"
If he lied to himself enough, if he pretended enough, if he let the power of her dominance and desire latch on just a little bit tighter and convince him that the issue had always been Santana and not him, and that with this woman he might find out that he had been wrong all this time, he could almost believe it when he answered, "Yes."
Suddenly she pulled back and he found himself chasing her, feeling empty without her. "I need to know you really want it," Rachel said sternly. "Want me. Ask me Blaine."
Blaine flexed his hands still in her grip and he closed his eyes against his surge of submission. What Santana didn't know wouldn't hurt anyone and if he could be who his father wanted him to be... "Please Rachel," he asked. "Kiss me."
Rachel surged forward and her lips met his. Her tongue was demanding entrance and he opened and it felt…nice. Nice enough for him to lean into it, to try and make it feel like fireworks. He told himself that it was good enough and he opened himself to whatever she wanted. He forgot everyone else in the room and let his submission just cling to whatever she was offering him. Because he just needed something to finally work, he needed to want and be wanted and if he couldn't even stand to try with a guy who wasn't Kurt maybe he could make it work with a woman who wasn't Santana if he just tried hard enough. And then he wouldn't have to lose everything.
He felt her clasp his wrists together in one hand while she trailed the other down his chest, over his stomach, down to his belt. The lower she went though, the more he panicked because her hand would soon reach his tell-tale sign of the lie and his heart raced as her thumb brushed over his zipper and went to cup him….
Eyes closed he didn't see Kurt, now standing to the side watching them as if he was watching his whole world fall apart. He didn't see Santana step through the front door and scan the room for her subs. Lost in the desperation of trying to make this kiss work he didn't see Santana find Brittany lying on a table covered in salt surrounded by men doing shots, and he didn't see her search the house to find Kurt staring devastated across the room and he didn't see her follow Kurt's heartbroken stare to her sub allowing himself to be kissed and fondled by Rachel Berry without an ounce of respect for Rachel, himself, his Dom or anyone else in the room.
With his eyes closed Blaine didn't see anything but he felt another hand in his – stronger and more familiar and then he heard the booming voice of his Dom reverberating in his head as she yelled, "We're going home. Now." Her voice was dark and dangerous.
She pulled him away and the cloud in his mind began to fade and shift to an acute alertness to his Dom and his surroundings and she pulled him without further comment to the front room where she'd left Brittany facing the corner. She gripped Brittany's wrist in her other hand and pulled her as well.
Blaine and Brittany both knew better than to say anything, even if it was to apologize. They simply let her lead them out the door and back onto the street.
She made them walk home in silence; forcing their sobriety with a bottle of water in one hand, warm roasted chestnuts in the other and the cold night air in their lungs. Together with Santana's fury, any buzz they might have felt at the party was long gone by the time they arrived home. The climb up the stairs to their apartment felt to Blaine as though he was walking to his execution. He had never been in this much trouble before.
But he knew better than to try to speak when Santana was in a mood like this and apparently so did Brittany. She was the perfect picture of a perfect sub, her hands clasped in front of her in contrition, her head bowed in shame and guilt. But Blaine was fidgety. He couldn't even stand still as Santana unlocked the door, and when she held it open for them he nervously walked past her wondering if he was expected to hit his knees the moment he was inside. Instead he did as Brittany did and slipped off his shoes and his coat and stood silent awaiting further instruction.
"In the corner Britt," Santana said, her voice far softer than it had been the last time she'd spoken but still firm and unforgiving. "Kneel facing out, toes to the wall."
Blaine watched her cross the apartment to do as she was told in silence, falling gracefully in one fluid motion. She clasped her hands behind her back and lowered her head in perfect submission. Once she was sure Brittany was in place, Santana turned back to him. He quickly ducked his head, his heart skipping a terrified beat as he awaited his own fate.
"Strip."
His eyes snapped up to his Dom's. His breath was knocked out of him and his legs began to tremble. He wondered for a minute if he could have possibly heard her right. What she was asking was a hard limit, a breach of the very contract that she'd refused to alter when he'd begged and pleaded with her. He knew that he had every right to safeword and refuse this punishment. Hell, he had every right to walk away with no repercussions. But that wasn't really what he wanted. He just wanted to understand. "Santana?"
But Santana was in no mood for explanations. "I do not want to hear another word out of either of you unless it is a safeword, is that understood?" Brittany nodded in the corner but Blaine just stared at her in wide-eyed shock. Santana met his gaze but it wasn't to answer his unasked questions. "I told you to strip Blaine, don't make me tell you again," she commanded, her voice like ice.
Blaine reached trembling fingers up to the buttons on his shirt, his breath coming in short spurts while he little by little exposed his chest to her. When it was completely undone he slowly let the shirt slip from his shoulders, folding it and laying it neatly on the nearby chair. Then he looked to her, embarrassed and scared but also curious and ever so obedient, as his fingers lowered down to his pants.
He let out a tiny sigh of relief when instead of watching him, Santana turned and disappeared into her bedroom, allowing Blaine a modicum of privacy to finish his task. He slipped off his pants and laid them neatly folded over the shirt, then not so gracefully removed his socks and underwear, which he stashed discretely between his other clothes.
He clasped his hands low in front of him, not really hiding anything and feeling only slightly less exposed for the illusion of cover. He lowered his gaze to the floor, no longer able to look Santana in the eye without his already blushing face blossoming to a bright red. He stood naked for his Dom, for the first time ever, and did not know at all what to do.
"Stand in the corner Blaine," he heard Santana order as she stepped outside of her bedroom. His eyes darted around the room and he headed to the empty corner opposite Brittany but Santana stopped him. "The same corner as Britt. In front of her, hands braced against the wall."
He dared not look at Santana but his gaze flashed to Brittany just a second before her surprised eyes dipped away from him and back to the floor. His stomach clenched. His heart was racing in his chest. His mouth went dry. But he followed Santana's orders and arranged himself facing her other submissive. Brittany thankfully kept her eyes on the floor.
Blaine could see nothing but the white wall in front of him and the glow of Brittany's blonde hair below him but he heard Santana's voice boom from behind. "Both of your behavior at the party tonight was completely unacceptable. I told you to look out for one another and instead I walk in to find Brittany being sucked on and licked by men she doesn't know and Blaine sucking face with Rachel Berry. I trusted both of you and you broke every rule I gave you. Clearly I allowed you too much freedom. Well, I am nothing if not accommodating to my subs. Brittany your contract clearly states that any man you play with would be only with my approval. And if you want a girls' lips on you so badly Blaine, then you won't mind if they belong to Brittany." Blaine looked down at the girl kneeling before him and his chest clenched, realizing now exactly what Santana intended. He hoped he was wrong, but he wasn't. "Brittany, you will take him in your mouth and you will not stop until his punishment has ended," Santana ordered. "Blaine, you will receive the strap. There's no need to count. Your punishment ends when you've come."
Blaine's head spun. He knew he'd asked for this once, had begged for it, but now that it was seconds away he was terrified. "Santana please-" The lash came down across his backside hard and fast and he muffled his shout in the crook of his arm, letting out a painful groan instead as fire immediately spread over his skin.
"That is not a safeword and this is not a negotiation," Santana barked. "Be careful what you wish for Blaine. Safeword if you have to but otherwise nod if you understand and accept your punishment."
Tears burned in his eyes and he hid his head in his arm in shame. He did understand and he would accept it. He'd done this to himself, not just tonight but in every move he'd made since coming back from Ohio. Every warning she'd given him he'd ignored and upped the ante. He'd deliberately disobeyed her tonight with Rachel and if Santana hadn't found them he could have very well found himself in the same position with her instead of Brittany. He'd torn away at Santana's patience and he deserved this. If he were honest with himself, he had asked for it in more ways than one. He lifted his head and nodded.
"Good," she said softly, offering just a tiny bit of praise to soothe him. "Blaine you are to look at Brittany the entire time. Your eyes are not to close and are not to stray. If they do Britt, let me know and I will offer Blaine a reminder, is that understood?" Brittany's gaze turned up and met his for the first time. Her bright blue eyes looked sad, but he didn't know if it was for his fate or her own. They both nodded. "Good. You may begin."
He swallowed hard as he felt her tongue on him, rolling beneath his soft cock, lifting him into her mouth. The sensations overwhelmed him immediately and every muscle in his body tensed as he forced himself to be still and not try to escape the punishment. Santana must have sensed his desire to pull away though because as soon as he could take no more of it the strap rained down on him to force him back. He gasped. Santana was not holding back at all and the sting of the strap burned immediately. She offered little time for recovery, bringing the leather down across his ass over and over, never the same place twice in a row. In no time the burn that felt like a hundred stinging bees was too much and he made himself concentrate instead on trying to make it stop. But staring as he was ordered into Brittany's eyes he couldn't achieve even an ounce of arousal. Each and every time the twirl of her tongue made the blood surge in his groin, one look at Brittany softened it again. No matter what he tried he could not come even close to ending his punishment. He closed his eyes, hoping that with nothing but the feel of it things would work but suddenly the strap flew through the air with such speed and strength that he couldn't help but cry out in pain.
"Santana please-"
"Look at her Blaine," Santana urged gently. "Look how beautiful she is. This is what you've been wanting, right? What your parents would want? Just come and it's all over."
"I can't. Please." He could feel Brittany trying hard, urging him along doing everything she possibly could but it was no use. He was breathless, tears streaming down his face, frustration and pain ripping through him. "Santana, I can't do this." He cried and he could feel Brittany's tears on him as well as she cried below him and he knew that this was too much for both of them. Brittany's hands though were suddenly on his calves, caressing them softly, giving them both strength to get through this. "Ma'am…please," he stammered before another blow. "I'm sorry…I don't want to safeword…trust you…but I can't…" His voice broke.
"I told you Blaine that I would not support you lying to yourself anymore. I warned you I would punish you if this happened again. I trusted you both. The last thing I said to you was respect yourself and everyone else. Do either of you really think you were doing that? Was being the center of attention really that important Brittany? Did you really want Rachel that badly Blaine?" Santana asked with a harsh punctuation of another strike.
"No, please…" Blaine babbled. "I don't want Rachel, I don't want any girls, please…" he sobbed.
He didn't even register that the strap had stopped or the hand on his hair, caressing him slowly. His neck ached as she lifted his head gently from the bow he'd been ordered to maintain. He had no idea Santana's other hand caressed Brittany the same. But he did feel her by his side and he heard her voice whisper in his ear. "Close your eyes Blaine."
He followed that command like it was an order to eat after days of starvation and he breathed in with a sigh of relief. Brittany's mouth continued to work him as Santana's voice continued. "Keep them closed. Feel the lips around you, feel the tongue stroking you. Let the heat of the mouth that surrounds you fill your whole body with the same heat. Just let go, and with your eyes closed look down and see the face of the person you truly want beneath you. Don't think about it, don't be afraid, just feel."
Blaine did as he was told and any thought of Brittany faded away because as he fell deeper and deeper there was only one person. There had only ever been one person since the moment Blaine had laid eyes on him on the NYADA stage. Kurt's lips surrounded him, Kurt's tongue pressed heavily against the vein of his cock and he hardened desperately inside the heat of his mouth. Kurt's tongue circled the head and dipped in to taste him and Kurt's crystal blue eyes stared up at him with passion and desire that Blaine was determined to satiate. In the corner of his mind he felt the strap falling down on him again but it felt like a kiss compared to the ache of his imminent release. The heat on his skin was only a fraction of the sparks that were shooting through his body. So lost in his imagination he had no idea how much time had passed before his muscles twitched and his stomach clenched and waves of pleasure crashed through him, his body shuddering and convulsing. His pulse pounded in his ears, only one sound echoing in his head as he screamed Kurt's name.
He was barely conscious he was so deeply in subspace when Santana dropped the strap and picked up their softest blanket from the floor where she had left it, wrapping it around Blaine. Brittany rose to her feet and helped Santana walk him carefully to the couch guiding him to lie down on his side with his head on her lap. "Can you go get the ice packs please love, and some water," Santana asked Brittany softly and she nearly ran to the kitchen and back to comply. Santana took the packs and the glass from her, placing them aside until Blaine slipped out of subspace. Brittany knelt before her and Santana's fingers combed through the hair on both of their heads. "Are you alright my love?" Santana whispered, brushing a tear from Brittany's eye, and she nodded. "You and I aren't done, but do you think you could wait for me in the bedroom while I take care of Blaine?"
"Yes of course," Brittany assured her.
"You were a good girl, Britt," Santana said and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead that soothed her aching heart, before Brittany got up and retired to their bedroom.
Blaine stirred and whimpers of pain grew quickly to sobs of apologies. "I'm sorry, Santana. I'm so sorry," he cried, but she rubbed his back and hushed him gently.
"Shhh, shhhh," she soothed, "You're okay sweetheart. You did so good. Here I have some ice for you." He slipped his hand through the blanket and took first one pack then the other from her hand and she waited while he arranged them. He'd been through enough pain in the last half hour, he deserved no more and he sighed with relief. "That's right, sweetheart, just take your time, I'm here. Do you want some water?"
"I'm sorry," he started again and though she could not see his eyes she was certain they were wet with regret.
"You're okay," she repeated tenderly. "Tell me what you're sorry for."
He couldn't say when he'd realized all of what he'd done wrong, what this punishment had really been about, but somewhere between his eyes closing and opening he thought it had all become clear. "I've been hiding. Lying. To myself. To you," he choked out as best he could.
"That's right sweetheart. To who else?" she asked.
Blaine thought about it. "To Rachel," he said with regret.
Santana sighed. "You lied to her that it was okay for you to submit. You lied to yourself that you wanted to submit to her. But what really disappoints me Blaine is that you did it all to hide how you truly feel about Kurt. And you didn't care how much you were hurting him, kissing her like that in front of him."
The recognition hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh god, Kurt," he cried, the tears starting anew. Somehow he had refused to see Kurt staring from across the room, but he'd known even then that he was there. "He was watching. He saw me kissing his best friend. I need to see him," Blaine said quickly and he tried to get up desperately. "I need to tell him I'm sorry, that it didn't mean anything!" But he sucked in a breath and winced as soon as he put any pressure on his bruised skin and she hugged him close, pulling him back down again.
"Not tonight, sweetheart. This was the harshest I've ever been with you, it's going to take a little more recovery time than usual," Santana told him.
His heart clenched but he let her guide him back down. Images of Kurt seeing him with Rachel began to haunt him as the haze of subspace slowly lifted. "Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"
"I think his heart probably hurts now as much as your body does," she said with a small frown. "But you both will heal in time. And I hope you can forgive me in time too."
This time Blaine sat up, not caring how much pain it caused him because he needed to look her in the eye. And for the first time he noticed the tears shining in them. It broke his heart. "I have nothing to forgive you for, Santana," he assured her.
"But you do Blaine," Santana corrected him with rare vulnerability, her head falling along with the tears in her eyes. "What I did, what I made you do, I violated our contract. I just...you've been so lost. I didn't know how else to get through to you." She looked up at him, a brave smile on her face that hid the tremendous pain of having done what she did. "But now you have an out. You can walk away from me, from us, no consequences. If I was the one that was holding you back from him."
Blaine's breath hitched as he realized what she was saying and he shook his head emphatically though. "No Santana, I would never," he promised her. The very idea hurt his soul. "It was never you, it was always me. I asked for this Santana, months ago. Maybe this wasn't what I had in mind when I asked but it was exactly what I needed and you knew that." He looked at her, his eyes filling with love. "You always know exactly what I need," he whispered.
"You need Kurt," she said firmly. "I will always be here for you Blaine, as long as you need me. But you can't deny it anymore. You need him too."
Blaine nodded, swallowing against his fear and he stared out into the distance. "I just hope it's not too late."
~S~
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time
Author's Note:
So...please be gently. And I promise that next chapter will make it all worth it.
Pairing Warnings
- Blaine/Rachel
- Blaine/Brittany (as punishment)