A/N: As always, thank you for said reviews, and keep them coming, they feed my inner muse!
Thank you to my lovely beta, Midnight Essence who is always so supportive and understanding of this fanfic! Love you to bits!
I hope you guys like/hate/howl/whatever this chapter. As long as it makes you react, that's all I'm aiming for!
Chapter Nine: It's On
Hangovers were the worst thing in the world and Naruto was the living proof of that.
Waking up the next morning to an incredible sunny day had been particularly difficult for the young Jounin considering the sharp headache that he had. Moving while lying down was a hassle, but getting up proved to be even more difficult, especially when the recollection of what had happened the night before invaded the back of his mind like a sudden, powerful wave of unpleasantness.
He had confessed to Sasuke… in front of Sakura. And he had said things in a way that he would never, ever consider saying had he been sober. Actually, had he been sober he would have said what he wanted very, very differently.
Rolling around in his bed he buried his face on his pillow, heart racing and cheeks burning from embarrassment. Naruto felt like shit, but still; all he could think about was what he had said and Sasuke's horrified face.
And I kissed him in front of Sakura-chan! And the things I said, that was so not how I wanted to talk to her about this! She must hate me right now!
Sasuke must be so mad at me!
And I kissed him after throwing up, too!
Heh.
Well, serves him right, damn bastard…
Despite how terrible the whole situation seemed, the blond was a little glad he had managed to let out all he felt, all he wanted to say. He had not meant to get so drunk to begin with, all he had wanted was to have a drink and calm down his jealousy towards Sasuke and Neji, but then every time he thought about them his anger seemed to boil even more. When he realized what he had done, he was already drunker than he had ever been, and that was saying a lot since it took a lot of alcohol for his system to stop functioning properly.
Sighing loudly, Naruto forced himself to focus on what was ahead of him from now on – talking to Hinata, explaining things to Gaara, and to Sakura and, worst of all, dealing with Sasuke. The road would be long, but he had to take it with as much energy as he could because that was what he wanted. What he really wanted.
When thinking about it, the Shinobi realized he had never wanted anything this much since the day he swore to himself that he would become Hokage.
He would not back away anymore, and had decided to stop fearing the outcome. There was no way he was giving up on this, on Sasuke, no matter how much trouble the brunet could be.
Mumbling to himself, the blond got up slowly and prepared for the long day ahead of him, the one that he was sure would not be remotely easy.
First things first, Naruto decided that his priority right now was to make things clear with Hinata once and for all and take advantage of his recent growth in balls.
After taking a long shower, eating something and putting on the first wearable thing he found, Naruto made his way to the Residence where Hinata used to work when off missions.
He found the pale eyed girl in the room where every mission was evaluated and ranked; she greeted him with a small concerned smile but seeing how guilty and serious her boyfriend was when he asked to speak to her privately, she became unsure.
Hinata let her other two colleagues know she was taking an early break and obediently followed a silent Naruto all the way to the rooftop, where they had agreed they would have enough privacy to talk freely.
The boy was feeling a little uneasy about what he was about to do. Not wanting to hurt the fragile looking girl was something he had to keep in mind – she deserved his honesty, but most of all, she deserved to know that he cared for her and that she did nothing wrong, meaning he had to use his words and actions very carefully.
Determined not to let her fearful expression stop him from doing what was right, he started talking, slowly but firmly, not allowing himself one single moment of weakness.
He told Hinata everything that had to be known about those weird feelings he got from the beginning of Sasuke and Neji's relationship, how that anger did not seem to fade, Sasuke's absurd behavior, the licking, and the kissing.
Even though it hurt to see those beautiful Hyuuga eyes become wide with shock and confusion, Naruto kept his gaze locked on hers as he went on, not giving her a single chance to ask questions. Fortunately, she did not seem like she wanted to ask them. Naruto realized she was too shaken for that.
Then he told her about how much he had come to feel like he wanted to become closer to his best friend and how they had somehow managed to get involved again. And again. And many other times more.
Despite making it clear that they only kissed and didn't really do much more, that was the point where Hinata finally started to cry, the sudden, incessant tears causing her eyes to look like marine crystals. She wasn't sobbing or crying loudly, but still Naruto stopped talking – feeling a little guilty – to give her some time, fighting the urge to hug her for comfort because he thought he hadn't the right to do such a contradictory thing when he was clearly hurting her.
"Don't mind me just…please, go on…" She hiccupped after a few moments, wiping her tears delicately.
And so he did, but only after breathing in and out several times. The hands he kept inside his pockets were sweaty and restless.
He then told her about the growing jealousy and the constant feeling that he wanted to be with Sasuke but felt like he was going nowhere. He kept Sasuke's personal feelings out of the issue since he did not know exactly what Sasuke thought about all of that, and it was not like it was his place to talk about another person's feelings.
The blond explained to the blue haired girl that he had just realized he was in love and therein laid the reasons that led to his drunken state the night before. Finally, he told her about how he had already confessed and was going to give Sasuke some time to think about it properly.
"And it's not like any of this is your fault at all; I really like you and you've made me really happy during this time we were together," Naruto said, making sure that his voice expressed exactly what he was feeling while saying it. "You're an amazing girl and I appreciate everything you've done for me. I respect you and that's why I don't want to lie to you anymore, because you don't deserve it. I'm not good enough for you, Hina-chan…"
Hinata actually let out a small, constricted laugh at that and shook her head from side to side.
"So…you're telling me you… want to break up?" She asked softly, a gentle but sad smile gracing her lips as she kept fighting her tears with her hands.
"It's for the best. I can't be more honest than this; I can't do this to you anymore. It's not fair to either of us."
Hinata nodded like a little lost child but straightened up with as much dignity as that whole situation allowed her before sighing.
"I never really expected that you could be the type of man who cheated behind a person's back," She muttered, but not really in an accusatory way. "On the other hand, you were brave enough to tell me the whole story, inclusively telling about the person you like. For that, I am grateful."
"I'm really sorry…"Naruto apologized, sincerely, still trying his best not to reach out and touch the Kunoichi. Getting physical, even if not with ulterior motives, would only make her more resentful. "I was an idiot; I was too focused on how much everything was new and somewhat exciting and completely disregarded your feelings…"
"You don't have to be sorry," She said, her watery smile opening up a little and becoming genuine. "I was the one who kept hoping that you'd come to love me someday. I should've never put that burden on you by confessing, it was foolish of me…"
"Hinata, I do love you," Naruto said, firmly to make sure she understood that he was telling the truth. "Very much... I would've never have become this intimate with you if I didn't. I just… don't love you like that. I don't think you deserve having me by your side when I'm thinking about someone else. You deserve someone that gives everything to you."
"Thank you," She whispered, sniffing a little, shiny trails of tears marking her porcelain skin. "I do know that, you don't have to explain anything else. You're being as honest and serious as you could possibly be, and I understand. I honestly thought you were going to break up with me much sooner for other reasons since we're both so different. Still, I'm glad I got the chance to be with you."
"Yeah, me too…" Naruto said, smiling as well. "I bet your dad will be ecstatic about this, so look, something good came out of it!"
Hinata laughed with amazing good mood despite the situation and Naruto felt himself relax. She really was a wonderful girl, he thought. Or maybe she was hurting terribly inside but cared about him too much to let him see just how much it was affecting her.
The wind was blowing gently around them, causing her beautiful long hair to billow around her as they stared at each other.
"Can we…can we still be friends?" She asked softly, wiping her face one last time.
"Of course!" He exclaimed at once. "The best of friends! I wouldn't have any other, you should know that."
"I'm glad."
They still looked at each other, coming to some sort of silent understanding and agreement before they finally had to part, for the first time in a few months, to go their separate ways.
"I…what are you going to do?" The Hyuuga princess inquired slightly concerned. "About Sasuke-san, I mean…"
"I don't know;" The blond admitted, shrugging helplessly. "As I told you, I confessed yesterday and then passed out, I haven't seen him since, and frankly, I'm a little scared to."
"He must have some feelings for you," She whispered, clearly trying to be the friendly shoulder despite how sad her eyes looked. "I… don't see him doing something like that unless he did like you back."
"Yeah, well, but he's a shitty bastard and surprisingly coward when it comes to feelings," Naruto commented, refusing to acknowledge the sadness he saw. He had to stay firm, for himself and for Hinata. "I don't know what will happen; all I know is that I won't pretend things are the same when they aren't."
"What about Neji-nii-san?" She asked. "I mean, I know he and Sasuke-san are just trying out for a relationship, but still I don't think he would be insensitive enough for not suffering if they broke up. I don't want him to suffer, Naruto…"
She was so serious about it, it was rather awkward.
"I think Sasuke really likes him, I doubt he'll just leave him because of me," The boy muttered, sighing. "It doesn't matter, I don't want to hurt Neji either, nor will I do anything to break them up. I may like that stupid jerk, but I'm not going to force him to be with me if he doesn't want to. Don't worry about it."
"I…I won't," Hinata bit her lip and blushed faintly. "I want you to be happy, Naruto, so…just be careful and do what's best for you and…you can count on me if you need anything."
"Thanks."
"I'm serious…" She persisted. "If you ever need any help or someone to talk to or…or anything…tell me, I… I'm here for you..."
Ah, there it was. Hinata had cried, looked miserable, understood him, supported him, offered her friendship…but that was the moment where her voice really cracked into pieces, voicing something that he had been afraid of listening to, something that showed just how much she was feeling down.
Naruto could not keep his composed façade anymore. He was terrible at it and Hinata was…well, Hinata – the girl that had given her all, that had changed for him, that had defied her fearful father for him; she had been there for him and let him know what it felt like to be loved, romantically and non-romantically.
She was the first girl he had slept with, the first girl he had kissed.
He may not have been in love with her, but he had learned to love her as a good friend and as a companion.
So he did what his heart told him to do at the time, because even if he wanted to just leave and not give in to it, he just couldn't, not after what they had been through and all the time they spent together – Naruto took a step forward, stretched out his arms and wrapped them around her small form, hugging her tightly.
Hinata shivered at the touch, as if she had lost her confidence towards him now that they were no longer a couple, but eventually she hugged him by the waist and let out the last tears she had to shed for the person she had loved all her life, who was no longer hers.
Naruto held her and listened to her gentle sobs, stroking her back affectionately. When she uttered her last hiccup, he used both his hands to cup her cheeks and tilted her head up before kissing her on the lips.
It was not a passionate kiss, but a slow, loving one, the kind that was filled with softness just the way he knew she liked it. He did not care about the salty taste of her tears or how abnormally dry her mouth felt.
Hinata gave herself wholeheartedly and they kissed for a while before she broke the kiss and pushed him gently away from her until they were at arm's length, no longer touching each other.
"I…I have to go…"She whispered, breathing deeply, once more a very pretty, pure smile gracing her lovely features. "My colleagues… they'll get worried if I'm gone for too long."
"Okay…" Naruto whispered. "Please don't look so miserable, Hina-chan. I don't want to see you cry. You're such a strong person; don't be so sad because of me."
"Don't worry about me," She said, with poorly concealed joviality. "I'm fine. I'll be fine as long as I can still be a part of your life."
"You'll always be a part of my life, no matter what."
Naruto's blue eyes looked into Hinata's opaque ones as he reached out one hand to wipe the remnants of sticky tears from her baby soft features.
With one last smile and a small bow to him, the girl turned her back on him and left the rooftop without looking back, long hair waving elegantly behind her.
Staring at the deep blue sky, Naruto breathed in several times, rubbing the fingers he had wiped Hinata's tears withs together and still feeling the price for what he did to the person that could have been his wife.
One down; a few more left to go. Hopefully, talking about this with Gaara and Sakura would not be as emotionally draining as it had been with his ex-girlfriend. Of course he would speak to the Kazekage first; he had some serious apologizing to make for the way he had talked to him.
Sakura…well, hopefully Sasuke had already explained some things to her so…
Still, he was scared to meet her too.
And surely, talking about it with Sasuke would bring back a whole new weight upon his heart.
Right now, though, he had to get back home to dress up for work and had other things to think about…and probably the wrath of his friends from the other teams to deal with when they found out about his and Hinata's breakup.
One step at the time. It'll all be over before you know it.
000
The news spread like the wind that same day, reaching everybody's ears at the speed of light. However, the story that had been on everybody's mouths was a little different from what had really happened.
Rumor had it that Hinata had been the one to break up with Naruto. Some said it had happened because her father had finally threatened to disown her and give the future position of head of the house to Hanabi, some said she had somehow stopped loving him; others said she had another lover. Other rumors said that their relationship had been on bad terms for a while now. The final, and probably nastier rumor claimed that Naruto never loved her and that she, finally realizing it, got fed up and dumped him, which would be a rather out of character thing for Hinata, but it was not like every villager of Konoha was aware of the Hyuuga heiress' personality.
Sasuke knew the truth. Hinata would never break up with the love of her life no matter what. Naruto had kept to his promise and the girl, probably scared that their friends would react badly to their break up, decided to spread word that she had been the one to blame. It was a noble, selfless thing to do, but it was not like Naruto deserved it.
Sasuke spent the day trying to avoid the blond at all costs and luckily, Naruto seemed to be avoiding him as well since they never crossed paths where they usually would. The break up let the Uchiha know his friend had been serious and remembered everything he had said while drunk. Now, all Sasuke had to do was come to terms with himself and sort out what he should do, what he should think, and most importantly, what he felt for his rival.
Call it tough luck, Sasuke was finding it hard to even think about anything unrelated to Naruto's voice saying "I'm in love with you", let alone sort himself out.
His day had been pure hell. He could not focus on anything at all, his mind kept replaying Naruto's words, his heart kept beating like he was constantly running a marathon and it was hard to breathe. He was in a terrible mood and could barely eat, drink, or listen to what people said to him at all.
He was panicking, terrified and confused, helpless as to what to do or what to feel but somehow, that bad mood was caused by the fact that he was not as annoyed by his friend's confession as he should be, considering he was committed with someone he did not want to let go so early.
Attraction was one thing, but love? Love was stepping on dangerous grounds; it was taking a leap of faith that could either build or break them. Did Naruto even have the conscience to understand how disastrous this whole love shit could be for them? Did he understand how damn serious what he was proposing was?
What really undid the raven was the fact that, for the first time ever in his life, he seemed to be in a permanent state of euphoria that he considered very bad for not feeling bad. It felt unfamiliar but good in a really troublesome way.
He was angry at himself for not being angrier than he was. He was furious that he had somehow felt relieved that Naruto had broken up with Hinata.
But still, he was scared. So scared and confused he did not have a clue what to do.
Sakura had wanted to talk with him but Sasuke had found himself way too distracted to be able to have a coherent conversation, so he promised her that once he and Naruto had settled some things, the they would both talk to her and explain everything and that, for now, she did not have to worry about them. She did, of course, looking concerned and bitter, but promised to be patient and not interfere until they had solved their own issues first. Sasuke had a feeling he should not have told her that Kakashi knew about the whole thing, but it was too late now, anyway.
As a sleepless night and a troubled day went by, Sasuke came to the conclusion that he had absolutely no idea how to solve things with the blond if he could not even solve his own issues.
He knew he had to come to a conclusion but at the same time, he felt like it was unfair that Naruto put such a responsibility on him by almost forcing him to acknowledge his feelings.
And the real problem here was, did he?
000
Three days later the world seemed to have picked up its pace once more. After the initial shock of both their friends from the other teams – who kept nagging both Naruto and Hinata to know exactly the reason for their break up – life went on as normal apart from a few changes. Kiba was abnormally cheerful every time the blond met him and Neji eyed him with such a suspicious look that made him shiver with uncertainty. Did the Hyuuga look at him because of Hinata or because he suspected something? Sasuke would not dare to tell his boyfriend about Naruto's confession, would he?
However, Naruto kept his doubts to himself since he had not set his eyes on his raven friend ever since that night and he would be damned if he went and asked Neji about it. As a matter of fact, as much as he wanted to speak to Sasuke, see Sasuke and know what Sasuke thought, he did not dare to make a move to seek him. If the Uchiha needed time, he would give it to him, even if Sasuke was doing a great job of pretending he did not exist.
The whiskered teen had not dared to speak to Sakura either and was actually rather surprised that after three whole days she had not barged into his house or his workplace as soon as she could to make him spill the beans.
Even so, Naruto was thankful because breaking up with Hinata, the pressure from their friends to know everything – especially from Ino, who was real nuisance and pretty nosy when it came to these sorts of things – and the now familiar feeling of anxiety he lived with every single day was exhausting him. He had not even had the heart or the will to meet with Gaara to apologize and explain – not that he knew how since the Kazekage could be ruthless when he wanted to, and since Naruto had never seen him directly mad at him, he did not know what to expect.
Naruto missed Sasuke. All he thought about was Sasuke.
Was Sasuke feeling the same ecstatic way? Was he eager, did he miss him too? Was he keeping himself away because he needed to rethink his priorities, his desires?
Even though he did not wish to keep the same kind of secret affair they had before, he missed being around Sasuke, missed touching him and listening to his voice. He even missed sparring with him and fighting with him.
Naruto did not know what would become of them, but he had to be firm and stand his ground no matter what. He would have what he wanted or nothing at all and that was why he was in a hurry to confront him about it.
But one thing was certain: he would be in big trouble if the brunet for some reason was angrier than he thought.
The night was warm but a little cloudy as Naruto made his way for his appointed dinner at Iruka-sensei's. Despite not really being in the mood to socialize and hang out, his former academy teacher had invited him that same afternoon after classes in such an excited way that the boy found it hard to refuse.
"You have to get back on track, but you'll never make it by isolating yourself!" The Chuunin had said in his fatherly way, sensing his student's foul mood; and Naruto simply just could not say no to him.
So there he was, standing at the door of one of his most important people in the world. Wanting to make it as quickly as possible so he could go home and get some much needed rest, he knocked energetically on the wooden door.
Not even five seconds went by and the door was opened, revealing a very cheerful, good-humored Iruka who was wearing a simple white apron.
"Naruto!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, almost scaring the shit out of the blond. He had the hugest of smiles. "You came!"
"I…of course I did; I said I would!" Naruto said, a little surprised by his sensei's sudden exuberance.
"Well, don't just stand there, come on in!"
The boy was pulled inside by his arm and stumbled a little before finding himself in the comfort of Iruka's small but tidy apartment.
"Make yourself at home." The brown haired man said, while Naruto removed his green vest and hung it in the coat hanger by the entrance. "We've got company, I hope you don't mind."
"Not really…" Naruto muttered, taking off his sandals. He did, actually, since that would only delay his arrival home.
When he followed Iruka to the kitchen he was not expecting, at all, to see the people he saw there.
Sitting at the table was an equally happy looking Kakashi and beside him was none other than…
Sasuke.
Naruto stopped himself at the kitchen entrance as the air suddenly left his lungs.
"Yo, Naruto!" Kakashi greeted, raising a hand, but just like with Iruka, his joviality did not infect the blond. Well, not that Sasuke's equally astonished expression helped anyway.
The Uchiha, like him, was wearing the dark garments that made part of their usual Jounin uniform and looking at him like he had seen an ugly insect. Naruto found it kind of funny that his pale complexion turned even paler at the same time that a slight blush colored his cheeks.
"Kakashi…" Sasuke uttered, calmly but coldly, dark eyes still fixed on Naruto's. "What exactly is the meaning of this?"
"Oh, nothing much," Kakashi said happily, ignoring his threatening tone. "I just thought that since you've been looking so depressed lately and scared shitless to meet him it would be a good idea to have a little family reunion."
"What…family reunion?" Naruto asked, confused and nervous beyond himself. After three days there he was, standing in front of the person that he had been avoiding, and said person did not look pleased to see him. Or was Sasuke just as nervous as he was? Naruto's mind was running too fast to process anything.
"I'm going to kill you, you pervert…" Sasuke huffed between clenched teeth. "You're so dead, I'm going to…"
"Calm down, Sasuke." Iruka said gently, going over to the stove where several pots were already fuming and taking a look at the food.
"Little Sasuke-chan here has been brooding over your little confession," Kakashi explained the blond boy. "He said you guys haven't seen each other for two weeks now…"
"It was three days, you damn fool!" Sasuke groaned, rolling his eyes and burying his face in his hands.
"Whatever, three days feels like forever when you're in love," The masked man dismissed, with a dramatic gesture, "The point is, someone had to make you guys…"
"Wait, you told him?" Naruto yelled, eyes darting to Sasuke's head in dismay. "I can't believe it!"
"Well, I am his father figure." Kakashi defended, with sarcastic pride.
"You're nothing of the sort and I'm serious regretting the day I met you!" The raven shouted, lifting up his head and looking at Kakashi with murderous intent.
At least Sasuke was as embarrassed as Naruto was. His face now resembled a very ripe tomato and his eyes were teary from, what, humiliation? It was rather hilarious to the point of making Naruto want to make fun of him had the situation been different. Still, that did not dispel the fact that the younger one wanted to bury himself in the deepest whole he could find.
"What I don't understand is why I wasn't told about this whole thing!" Iruka intervened, waving a large spoon in Naruto's direction – who still had not left his safe place by the entrance – with a frown. "Honestly, I thought you trusted me! Had I known about this I wouldn't have nagged you about Hinata-chan!"
Naruto made a face.
That was way too much information! Kakashi knew, Sasuke had been telling him the gods knew what and now Iruka-sensei was added to the matter and…
"I didn't tell you because it wasn't supposed to…Argh, what the hell is going on here? I don't even…"
"Don't be an idiot, Naruto!" Sasuke spat angrily, making Naruto look at him once more with surprise. "I made the mistake of opening my fucking mouth to Kakashi, he apparently babbled everything to Iruka-sensei and they set us up so we could meet. It's not that fucking hard to understand!"
"So…you didn't know I was coming?"
"Of course not!"
"Come on guys, it's just dinner." Kakashi said, patting Sasuke's shoulder and shrugging like he could not see the reason for their tenseness.
"Yes, and we are all going to eat together and be civil like grownups instead of pussies or else!" Was Iruka's firm reply as he waved the spoon menacingly once more, brown eyes scanning viciously the other occupants in the kitchen just like Naruto remembered him doing when he was still at school. When the man turned around to face the pots once more, no one else dared to make another comment or defy his words. "Naruto, go set the table, you know where everything is."
With a grunt, the youngest in the house did as he was told, mouth firmly closed and teeth grinding together.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now? He and Sasuke had been set up into 'accidentally' meeting each other. They had been caught off guard and if Naruto was not pleased about it, he could imagine how furious his friend was.
Despite everything – as the blonde's nerves managed to calm down a slight bit as he sat down at the round table in front of Sasuke – Naruto failed to see the reason why both their former teachers had accepted the whole situation and seemed to have joined forces into giving them a push towards…whatever it was that was going to become of them.
Everything was so messed up…
Why would quiet, 'don't-stick-your-nose-where-it-doesn't-belong' Sasuke even say a word about them to Kakashi? Sure, the man had a special way to retrieve information from the Uchiha, but Sasuke would never give anything away unless he wanted or needed to.
Kakashi had mentioned Sasuke had been depressed, brooding, and scared to see him. Did that mean he really had thought about him? About them?
A little flicker of hope lightened the kistune's mood a little.
Dinner went by with surprising ease since neither Kakashi nor Iruka made any attempt to know more about what was going on between the two teens or tried to force them to talk to each other. Instead, they made simple and comfortable conversation about work, the weather, and future plans for the rest of the summer. This made Sasuke relax considerably and Naruto sigh in new found joy. They did not address each other at all during the meal, but kept glancing at each other when they thought the other was not looking. It was awkward and Naruto did not really know what do think of it. Even so, he thought it was rather adorable the way Sasuke turned his head to the side stubbornly whenever their eyes met.
After they finished eating, Kakashi helped Iruka cleaning up the kitchen and Sasuke took the chance to ask the pony-tailed man where in the house he could smoke. There was small balcony in his study room he could use, Iruka had said, and the raven wasted no time in abandoning his three comrades, leaving Naruto to his own thoughts and a little hesitant about what he should do or what to think of his behavior.
Shit, I promised myself I wouldn't run away… He thought, still sitting at the table, unconsciously chewing on the inside of his cheek and staring at the backs of Iruka and Kakashi as they shared tasks by the sink, apparently oblivious to him. If I don't talk to him now, who knows when I'll get the chance? Better get this over with, I can't get in a worse mood that I am right now.
What the hell was he afraid of when his mind had been made up from the very beginning?
After breathing in and out several times, the blond stood up and headed to where he knew Sasuke was, not really bothering to say anything to the two men in the kitchen.
The study was a small room with many shelves filled with books and a large, low table in the center where there were currently many scrolls unwound and several unorganized paperwork. Sasuke hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, but the light that came from the still lively streets was enough to let the blond see enough shapes and contours to not bump into anything.
The Uchiha was standing outside, leaning over the rail with his back to Naruto. With his dark hair and clothes, he seemed to blend in with the warm night.
Sasuke had to have felt his friend's approach but did nothing to give any signs that he did, so Naruto walked carefully, opening the sliding glass door further and stepping outside. The balcony was narrow and not too spacious, but Naruto somehow found a way to squeeze himself beside the other boy, making sure they were as far away from each other as it was possible – which was not much since their arms almost bumped against each other.
Naruto mimicked Sasuke's position and leaned over as well. Resting his elbows on the rail, he looked at Konoha and noticed for the first time how amazing the view was. Then, he eyed Sasuke from the corner of his eye and saw him watching the set in front of him with a blank but rather peaceful expression on his beautiful face. Amazingly enough, he was not smoking as he had said.
Unlike what Naruto had expected Sasuke was the first one to speak.
"You're in love with me." He said in a soft, almost inaudible tone.
It seemed like forever since the blond had heard that voice that he did not think it strange at all that his heart started beating just a little faster.
"Yes."
That was as straightforward as he could be at the moment.
"Why?"
This time, Sasuke's head turned to him to look right into sapphire eyes that widened slightly.
Why?
What did he want to hear? A reason? An explanation?
"I…I don't know." Naruto admitted softly, feeling himself blush. "Maybe I've always liked you but hadn't noticed until we started…relating differently, I guess. I started feeling differently. I was jealous all the time and couldn't really think about anything except on how much I wanted to be with you and no one else."
"Is that why you broke up with Hinata?" Sasuke asked, sounding genuinely interested now.
"It didn't make sense to me anymore," Naruto confessed, sighing. "It's not like I didn't like her, but I realized I was being cruel to her and myself. I'm not a dishonest person, Sasuke, it was wrong to be with you and think about you while with her. Besides, I decided I was fighting for you the moment I realized I liked you, so it would be pointless to keep going out with her."
"Fair enough," The raven nodded, solemnly despite how obvious it was that those words had embarrassed him. "Still, I…I can't believe you actually did it."
"It doesn't matter anymore because now my conscious is clear."
"Hn…that's so typical you."
They stared intently at each other for a while, clear tension and unspoken words floating in the air around them like a sickening smell. Naruto swallowed hard, joining his hands together to prevent them from itching with the need to reach out to Sasuke, who was too close even if they were not touching each other in any way that could be considered intimate.
The Uchiha bit his lip, becoming suddenly expressive and showing an air of tenseness.
"Look, I…I'm not going to lie to you, I don't know what to do about this." Sasuke said, scratching his forehead nervously and making Naruto smile unconsciously. For some reason, it was really cool seeing the ever so composed and cold boy so distressed.
"I wasn't expecting you to," The blond replied. "I know how much you suck when it comes to feelings."
Sasuke actually smiled back a little at that. Naruto's heart felt like it was melting, slowly but consistently, like it always did when those pretty teeth showed.
"I'm really no good at this," The brunet agreed, huffing. "Everything is so weird I don't even know which way to turn. It's all so…new and…different from when I'm with Neji."
"How so?" Naruto asked, almost sweetly.
Sasuke huffed.
"I don't know…When I started having sex with Neji, even though I had never done it before, everything was just so…easy and simple. It was always like that, wanting something and getting it easily, whether it was pleasure or just someone to keep me company after a particularly bloody mission. Even now he's so…like me. I put up with him and he puts up with me and that's that. No weird feelings, no demands, no fears...nothing but mutual understanding of what the other needs, of how the other works."
He licked his lips, eyes scanning Naruto's tanned features attentively in a way that made the younger shiver as his voice turned to a lower tone. Was Sasuke coming closer?
Izanagi, Izanami, Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu, Susano'o… Naruto intoned mentally with desperation to focus on Sasuke's words instead of how easy it would be to lean in and kiss him. And… whatever ancestors our country has that I cannot remember their names! Shit, I should've studied my history better!
"With you it's all a big mess," Sasuke whispered, indeed moving nimbly and imperceptibly to break the small space between them. "It always was, and it still is. We've been through so much as friends and as rivals, and then when something more comes up, it's out of control. I have no control whatsoever in any of this and it's driving me crazy. I cannot understand why something as simple as a kiss should make me feel such strong emotions."
Their faces were now mere inches apart. Their noses were touching now, and Naruto could feel Sasuke breath on his lips and did not restrain himself from tilting his head to side teasingly despite not daring to move anymore.
"I don't know why that seems to be such a bad thing to you," The kitsune mumbled, trying to keep his whispered voice steady but failing miserably. "I think it's really exciting."
"Life is not just about exciting, Naruto."
"It's not just about safety either." Naruto replied, touching Sasuke's arm and squeezing it urgently as if to tell him to just do something. His body was starting to react to the tension and pleading for more. "I don't… I don't understand what you're trying to say, Sasuke."
As if to appease him, the pale young man leaned forward and pressed his mouth calmly to Naruto's in a gesture that wanted to provide reassurance but did not intend to inflame the other. Naruto felt his whole body relax instantly as he exhaled longingly and kissed back with the same gentleness without really trying to intensify the kiss. Kissing was good and boy did he want to just keep doing it forever, but they had to talk and settle things once and for all.
"What I'm trying to say is, I want you," Sasuke muttered once he broke the kiss and backed away slightly to stare straight into Naruto's heavily lidded eyes. "It's something I've never really felt before, but I'm not sure about this. All along I…wanted to have sex with you and I still do but I'm…unsure about this. There are so many things that can go wrong; our whole relationship could go down the drain."
"So you…like me too?" The whiskered one asked hopefully with his heartbeat completely out of control.
Sasuke bit his lip and rolled his eyes in frustration.
"I might, but listen to what I'm telling you!" He grumbled his voice now a little more authoritarian as he put his hands over his friend's shoulders and forced him to face him. "It's not just about liking or wanting to be together or… don't you see? What if we try out for something more and then it'll end up ruining us? What if it destroys completely what we've been trying so hard to build? Naruto, I can live with what we are now, even with what we were before, but I don't want to reach a point where there will be no fixing anymore. You're… important to me; I've lost too much in my life to lose you too. Do you understand?"
Naruto looked back at him like he had grown an extra head. It was hard to breathe.
Did he understand? What was there to understand?
"I understand that you like me but are scared," He let out with difficulty, feeling his mouth suddenly dry and his chest cold. "Scared to really fall for me. Scared to have to get out of your comfort zone to make it work with me, because Neji provides such a safe and stable relationship."
"I want to protect us." Sasuke said firmly.
"Oh really?" Naruto grabbed his wrists and removed them from his shoulders steadily. "That's so noble of you, but that doesn't change the fact that while you're with Neji, playing safe, I'll still be in love with you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be in his place with you."
"It might change," Sasuke hissed impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're giving me all these words of confidence and indirectly telling me to leave Neji, but what if it dies away and you get bored?"
"When did I ever say anything halfheartedly?" The blond inquired voice a little louder than he intended, a very gruesome fury invading him.
"You didn't, but you can't be sure that you'll feel this way forever!" The Uchiha replied back, starting to get a little angry as well.
"Of course I can't, but that doesn't mean I'll be a chicken and just deny my current feelings!"
"That's…see what I mean? How can you want to be with me if we're fine one moment but are screaming at each other in the next?"
"I don't care if we're punching each other's faces into a bloody pulp every day as long as I'm with you!"
"How on earth is that even healthy?"
"How is being with someone just because it's safe healthy? Your priorities are fucked up Uchiha."
Sasuke opened his mouth furiously to reply to that but instead closed it and pursed his lips together in aggravation while Naruto closed his hands into fists by his sides, electric blue firmly fixed on the man in front of him.
The two inhaled and exhaled sharply for several seconds in equal efforts to calm themselves down in order to get back into a coherent conversation.
Once he felt like he was stable enough to speak again, Naruto willed his words to come out with more control than what he felt.
"You don't want to be with me because you're safe with Neji and are scared that we destroy each other in a relationship. I get that." He begun, still panting a little from mental strain. "But I never thought of you as a coward Sasuke; especially when it comes to me. If you want me too, you should do something about it, not piss your pants."
"I'm not pissing my pants; I just think it's too soon to take such a step considering how unstable we are towards each other." Sasuke sighed, clearly fighting very hard the roughness in his voice.
"Right, so what do you want to do, keep doing things in secret like we've been doing?"
"For a while, yes, because I… I want to be with you," Sasuke said, thought gritted teeth as if admitting it made his voice sound screechy in his own ears. "But I'm not really ready to go inside such dangerous territory with you; I'm not risking us at such an early state. Not even two full weeks have passed, Naruto."
Dangerous? Naruto laughed because really, that was all he could do.
For the first time ever since he started getting intimate with his best friend, Naruto wondered why exactly did he have to consider such stupid, cold, ignorant person as his precious one; the target of his most deepest affections. Unfortunately, it was so deep it seemed to him like it would never fade.
Then again, Naruto was not that desperate to consider playing the fool, no matter how much he wanted Sasuke. There was no way in hell that he would let Sasuke play with his feelings for some absurd cause to 'protect' them. He was going to reverse things to his favor for once.
"No way," he declined, shaking his head from side to side and taking a step back, his back hitting the rail that formed a corner. "If you're uncomfortable being serious with me, that's fine, but I'm not going to be your whore whenever you feel like it. So to speak, because from what you said, you still wouldn't have sex with me, right?"
"What?" Sasuke sounded genuinely confused now.
Naruto could not help the internal feeling of pleasure that filled his ego as he watched Sasuke's disbelieved expression. Lifting up his chin proudly, he went on, finding once again the courage and motivation he had thought to be lost somewhere between that whole pointless chatter.
"I broke up with Hinata because I wanted to be faithful to my feelings for you," He claimed, confidently. "I hurt someone that really loved me for you, Sasuke. It's too bad you can't be as brave as me, but oh well; we're different from each other. I still want my chance to be with you, I still want those nights and I'll have them. I'll fight for you, and woo you, but I will not go to you again and will not indulge your whims anymore."
Now that did the trick. Sasuke was completely baffled, all anger and coldness fading from his lovely features to give place to pure horror and awe. He definitely did not see that coming and Naruto mentally patted himself on the back.
"What are you saying?" Sasuke inquired, a little hesitant and slightly fascinated by such an unexpected turn of events.
"I'm saying, Sasuke-chan, that you can keep your Neji and fuck his brains out for all I care," Naruto muttered, allowing himself to smile predatorily and revert his previous move, for now he took a step forward to make sure he was close to the midnight haired teen, reaching out to caress his cheek with the lightest of touches, causing Sasuke to purr in a very sensual way. The blonde's smile grew wider – he was in charge now. "Because you won't be with me like that until you decide what you want."
Sasuke's eyes grew wide. He was speechless, which was just perfect.
"Oh, but trust me, what I want from you, you'll be the one giving it to me willingly," Naruto finished, slowly wrapping his arms around the raven's neck and pressing himself so close he could feel Sasuke's crazy cardiac rhythm slamming in his ribs. "So you better enjoy what I'm about to do because you might not have it for a while."
As if he knew what his ex-almost-lover was talking about, Sasuke was the one who captured Naruto's mouth in his fervently, arms promptly encircling his waist and pulling him even closer. The kiss grew persistent and heated in a matter of seconds but Naruto allowed himself to give in completely, deepening the act by invading Sasuke's willing mouth with his tongue and receiving an eager response accompanied by wonderful, oh so sexy moans from that powerful but so naïve heir of a long lost clan.
They kissed for what seemed like hours, not thinking about how they were in an exposed balcony where anyone could see them in spite of being night fall already.
After Naruto made sure he had teased the older young male enough – which affected him greatly as well – he broke the passionate kiss by letting go of him and pushing him slightly away.
Opting for summoning a solemn, grave expression, he once more gazed into his precious person's beautiful, lust filled eyes and said:
"I will be betting it on my future Hokage title that you'll be begging to be with me soon enough. Ja ne."
Sasuke's mouth fell opened in horror and Naruto took the chance to place one last peck over his soft lips before turning around and going inside, determined, as always, to do exactly what he had said even if it was the last thing he did.
Sasuke would be his, sooner or later. It was a promise.
But now it was his time to suffer and have a little taste of his own medicine.
The game was on.