Chapter 10

Weeks passed at the moon temple, my time there seeming like a confused, lost blur. I didn't do much at all except hide myself away within my room where Er'itha would come to work on therapy with me to help gain back my muscling and to properly use my limbs again. Other than therapy I didn't do much, even refusing most of the food that was left graciously at my door by the priestess despite her constant encouragement to eat. I didn't feel the need for eating, what was the point? There was no one here whom I cared about enough to consider staying here nor was I old enough to survive on my own. What was stopping me from simply ending it? Nothing, I just hadn't worked up the courage to do it.

Even Mayhem, my colt who after seeing him at the temple stable I quickly remember, did little to lift my blackened, depressed mood. Though the colt tried his hardest to get a response from me with playful nips and nudges I could tell that each time I failed to react he too was slowly losing his hope in trying. Even if Mayhem didn't try getting me to play the colt was always there, within my room standing guard by the door or pacing along the bed as he tugged at the sheets.

Lady Er'itha took note of my mood, she gave me space to help filter through my feelings but not before saying she was there if I wanted it. It was a nice gesture but I didn't want her, I wanted my father who when alive wasn't someone I had spent much time with, but with him gone I longed for his company. With my new found deafness I wished all the more he was here, he'd understand me on a level that the monks or even Er'itha wouldn't understand. In all I just missed him, he had been the only family that I knew off.

So, in wanting to raise my mood Er'itha sent word to a friend of her's that had a gift for me. She said he had been at the temple when I was brought in, he'd saved me actually. He was called Bagheera, a jungle born yautja who of recent had returned to his birth clan to investigate a problem that had arose, he would have returned to give me the gift himself but Er'itha thought I'd benefit from it now. So she sent word to the male via transmitter, it was a large bulky machine that was silly out of style and was used as decoration most times. But not here, the transmitter though rust covered started up, still working as the day they first got it. The monks and villagers shared this device that was storage at the temple, as Er'itha had said many times before the people here preferred a less technologic life. There was nothing wrong with that but getting information in and out was slow.

The message to Bagheera was sent using a pad with the yautjan letters written on it and a dozen other symbols of some kind on tiny keys with a cord leading up to the monitor that buzzed as letters appeared on the screen as Er'itha typed. Had she used this to communicate with my father? I had no idea he knew how to read when father used his gauntlet he used the video feed to sign and then have it translated to text. Which at remembering that I questioned if I knew how to read, the more I stared at the yautjan letters on the keys I came to the conclusion that I did not, which from the clan Er'itha said I came from made sense, she said of how the females only learned how to read. Strange, but I didn't question why.

A few days after the message was sent a runner showed up at the temple with a small envelope and box, the male that delivered it rode a hoverbike with two large covered baskets that carried the packages. Dings covered the bulky looking craft like it had a bit of trouble coming up the mountain side. The runner left shortly after dropping off all the inventory for the village, he mounted the bike, revved the engine before turning and leaving to go on delivering the packages to nearby villages.

Both packages were for me I found out on one of my rare visit outside of my room, Mayhem trotting beside me as his ears perked at the Lady Er'itha as she approached. She passed me the envelope and as I tore the papyrus paper I stared dumbfoundedly at the object inside. I looked to Er'itha.

"it's your father's tusk, Bagheera thought it was a good way to help him close." She signed in response. Eyes glued to the tusk in hand, my thumb ran over the rough texture, a familiar chip on the side that I recalled seeing when my father was alive. The pale, cream colored tusk brought tears to my eyes as I silently placed the string around my neck, allowing the trinket to rest against my chest. Signing a quick thank you, Mayhem and I escaped back to my room where I could cry freely without the embarrassment of the priestess seeing me like that.

It was only a few hours later that Er'itha came in to tell me that the box that had arrived along with my necklace had the equipment that was needed to fix my hearing. For the first time in weeks, I actually smiled, growing eager to have my hearing back. Asking when we could do the procedure she replied tomorrow morning if I promised to eat something and interact with Mayhem for a bit as the 'poor thing' was lazy with boredom. I complied.

The next morning, overjoyed with the idea I'd be halfway normal again once the operation was over and done with I sprinted to the medical bay at first light, rushing past a few of the monks that were moving about the halls.I resented the idea of being deaf for the rest of my life when I was instructed to sit at the medical table to input the IV, at least if I gained my hearing back that was one less thing that they could discriminate against.

I'd wait almost a month for my hearing to be fixed and now that the time had come I couldn't seem to contain my excitement. However, like all goods things this thrill I had was short lived, it crashed and burn like a shot down ship when I realized what the surgery actually was for. When I awoke from the procedure and saw what Er'itha had done I was furious, raging mad that she would do this to me and not tell me what she had planned.

My hearing was still gone even after Er'itha told me the puss had been removed from my ears, the lack of use and whatever else had completely taken away my hearing permanently, leaving me profoundly deaf. That meant that they had waited too long to do the surgery and I now because of it I could hear nothing, absolutely nothing, one could have grabbed pots and pans while clashing them beside my head and even then I would hear nothing. I seemed more upset over Er'itha's actions and upon seeing the bandage wrapped around my cranium where a cochlear starter had been placed I panicked, I'd been 'implanted'.

Father had told me the worse thing you could do to a deaf person was to implant them with a cochlear, it was artificial hearing, it was wrong! It took the person out of the hearing world because they were still seen as deaf, nor did they fit within the deaf community because they were seen as hearing, they were outcasted in both I had known I would have stayed deaf instead of a freak with a collar and hunk of metal attached to my head. Without one I could at least appear normal but with a cochlear they'd know something was wrong with me, they'd stare, think I'm weak. A freak.

I accused Er'itha of trying to make me an outcast, I was already an outcast but at that moment I was just so enraged that I didn't bother trying to think up a better way to explain my anger. All I knew was that she hadn't asked my consent or even bother to tell me she was putting it in. And in that moment of anger, I did something unlike me and called her just about every insulting name in the book, even making up a few of my own to throw at her. I saw the hurt in her eyes, she apologized while leaving, saying something about me needing time to think. So I stayed at my room, sulking even more before succumbing to sleep, but if I was expecting a pleasant slumber I was dead wrong.

A forest. That's where I was, a forest with nicely spaced trees, they were in the process of blooming with tiny buds of the newly forming leaves beginning to sprout against the light of the moon. Luckily for the fullness of the night's moon, I was able to navigate amongst the trees, unsure of where I was heading but positive that I was searching for something.

A glimmer caught my eye off to the left of me, head tilted I approached before dropping into a crouch to retrieve the item. Laid perfectly onto the earth as if someone had just sat it down was a shimmering pendant all glittering and new. It was circular in form with a silver edging and a milky white background, a coin laid within the center of a yautja carrying something upon his back and surrounded by unfamiliar symbols.

Picking up the pendant to better examine it I dropped it in surprise as thirteen colored stones began to illuminate, the light so intense massive shadows fled out from the nearby trees and night seemed to turn into day. The glowing only lasted a few moments before vanishing just as quickly as it had come and sent me back into the dark of night. Scooping up the pendant I decided to hold onto it and no sooner had I pocketed the item, I jumped in surprise.

The halfbreed from my memories stood an arm's length away, blue eyes stood out amongst tear stained cheeks as she watched me. "you said you wouldn't forget me…" Her voice croaked out as I stood there a moment before it registered to me that I could answer back.

"I'm sorry, I tried to remember."

"You said you would, you broke your promise…"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't mean to-"

She screamed, a blood-curdling one that seemed to shake the ground almost before she vanished, her firm flicking out of sight like when someone pulled the power from a monitor screen. Though I was unable to see her the screams continued on before she reappeared a good length away, turning to run.

"No- wait!" I called after her, kicking up into a sprint however no matter how hard I seemed to push myself the distance between us widened as I felt myself slow. I pushed myself harder but all the effort was wasted as I seemed to go no faster than a walk.

I called after her again. "Wait!" She was out of sight, I stopped, frantically looking around for her amongst the trees that instead of blooming turned blackened and dead-looking. I peeked at the moon, yelping in surprise at its strange transformation from the milky white to a now bizarre coloration of orange tinted red. A blood moon.

A scream sounded. "He's coming!" the female squeaked, I saw her run past me before vanishing again. "Ozzy, he's coming! Help me! please!" I sprung into action, heading the direction I'd seen her go. Who was she talking about? "Ozzy!" She cried again.

"Hold on!" I shouted, whipping my head around desperately I jumped back with a shout as something snagged my foot. Wheeling myself away I stared in horror as a mangled body dragged itself along the ground. I backed until something stopped my retreat, spinning I found the open landscape had vanished, instead of leaving me encased in a sort of box with this ragged being.

It was a yautja...or it had been at one point, the arms seemed unnaturally long as it pushed itself up into couched position on bone-thin arms, its emaciated body lacked any sort of muscling and showed each nick and curve of its bones. His murky clouded eyes stayed locked on me while swaying its head from side to side in a serpent like movement, its forked tongue lolled out as its breathing was heavy and ragged, mandibles lazily flexing. Its leather looking skin was cut and ripped in several places, the fluorescent green blood staining its gray body. It smelled of spoiled flesh and death, making my skin quiver as it started to approach.

My hand traveled along the wall that kept my from turning and running, seeing if I could find a way out as the being followed me with its dead eyes. I traveled along the wall only to find out I was boxed in, trapped inside with whatever this creature was. I jumped, seeing if there was a ledge that I could grasp but to no prevail. My mind raced with how I was going to get out before I felt my skin prickle as the creature spoke, its voice low and raspy, almost echoing amongst in this enclosure we'd been placed within.

"Death to the Lord of the Moon and his mate…" The being hissed, fleshless mandibles flaring open as it began pulling itself towards me. Panicking I searched the walls again, there had to be an escape, a way to free myself from whatever it was that was making its way over.

"Try looking at it another way." An all too familiar voice rang out, causing a soft sigh to sound from me.

"Sir'ius!" I called out. "get me out of here!"

"This is your mind Bhu'ja, only you can control what happens to it. Your mind may manifest these creatures but can also destroy them."

"I-I can't."

"The only enemy here is your mind, Bhu'ja."

Staring at the creature as it pulled itself closer I closed my eyes, forcing me to think of something else. Anything other than the creature of death that hissed and rumbled. I could smell it, the stink of decay and rot as my eyes squinted harder, mandibles clutched while trying to think of anything other than this.

"Ozzy…" That voice, it was the halfbreed, my eyes flung open in, falling back I let out a scream. The female was mangled, gashes covered her body as well as across her neck that had no doubt been the cause of her death. Dead eyes staring at me as her crimson blood stained the ground, dark hair fanned across her tanned skin. I'd been too late, It'd let her die. She died because of me just like my father had.

I stood, shaking my head as I tried to erase the image from my mind. My hands rubbed at my face as if that in itself would take away the sights that haunted me. She was dead. I was to blame, this was my fault. MY FAULT!

"Bhu'ja, breath." Sir'ius commanded, his soothing voice now taking on a tone of authority as he attempted to help me out of this situation. But how could he do that when he wasn't even here, he was just a voice. "The images are not real, Bhu'ja. It's just your mind playing tricks on you, your guilt against yourself is being used against you. YOU did not cause what happened to your father."

"I didn't warn him!" I sobbed, my rapid breathing a last minute attempt to calm myself.

"You had no control over the situation, stop blaming yourself for something you did not do. You did not place those bombs there. Bhu'ja? Bhu'ja!"

Shaking my head still I stepped away, my foot moving back and connecting with open air, losing my balance and making me fall. That familiar knotted feeling in my stomach told me what would happen next as I felt myself approach the ground then-

Gasping as I sprang up in my bed my eyes wildly searched the room for the horrors that had taken place before me, leaving me in a cold sweat. Exhaling sharply like I'd been holding my breath I gulped the warm air that filled the room, making it feel stuffy almost as my eyes landed on Mayhem. The colt stood with perked ears as his buttery eyes watched me cautiously before he lowered his muzzle to the bed, drawing my attention there. I cursed myself as I tossed the fur covers off and saw that I had actually wet myself, I felt the heat rise to my face as I hurriedly went to try and change the bedding before Er'itha came back.

Mayhem stuck to my side, almost knocking me over. He'd grown large since being here, his velvet was almost all gone, leaving gleaming, tightly knitted, beading that was his scales. Now that I actually took the time to look at him I noticed his head now reached above my own with his wither now eye level with me, he had yet to sprout his antlers and still had a baby appearance to him with his lengthy legs and fluff of a tail and mane.

Keeping to my side as I searched the cabinets for clean blankets I gently touched the bandaging that covered my wound, thinking all of what I said to Er'itha. My anger towards her had settled, I was still a little peeved that she hadn't informed me fully on the situation but other than that she hadn't deserved my harsh words.

The door slid open out from the corner of my eye, revealing none other than Lady Er'itha as she glanced in, confusion showed on her gentle features. Her mandibles jerked in response as she gasps at seeing me taking away the soaked sheets. Her eyes showed question a moment before they softened, tusks flexing in a kind smile as she made her way inside. Not saying anything she merely crossed the room and gathered up the soiled sheets. I followed behind her, wanting to help if it was needed.

She signed nothing to me, instead she took the sheets to an opening within the wall just across the way from my room. Tapping the covering that blended in so well with the wall around it I watched curiously as she tossed the sheets into the opening and watching as it disappeared into the unknown, no doubt doing to the washroom or to just be burned altogether.

I attempted to catch her attention to sign something but she stopped me, holding a hand up before she moved into my room. Opening up a cabinet she grabbed the coverings, flipped my mattress to the dry side before making up the bed. Eventually, she did sign, telling me to go clean up but to mind my wound. I did, showering off the mess I had made and placing on clean shorts. When I emerged she pointed to the bed in which I crawled into, again about to sign something she stopped me once more and left the room.

Er'itha returned not long after, carrying a small wooden box clutched with her hands as she pulled up a chair and sat beside my bed. My eyes lingered to the box before she tapped my shoulder, drawing my attention away curiously.

"I won't ask about what happen, its none of my business and since you are a little older I'm sure 'mothering' you would only embarrass you more." starting to reply she went on, making me huff a bit before settling down again. "Instead I brought this, now it's very old but I've found that it's…" She paused, seeming to search for a particular word before nodding. "Comforting, many pups find it comforting and helps them sleep. Now it might just be because it acts as a nightlight, but if it helps you sleep I would like for you to have it. Just promise me you'll take good care of it."

I tilted my head in wonder, she picked up the small wooden box and as she opened it I felt my heart slammed into my throat, making it hard for me to shallow as I looked upon the very pendant that had been present in my nightmare. It illuminated the room faintly, not nearly as brightly as it had in my dreams but there was no mistake that this was the same pendant in which I had held in my nightmare. In fact, as I recalled the pendants bright glow it had been the only calming part of the dream-like Er'itha had said it seemed to almost comfortable one as they gazed upon its soft glow, the tiny stones shining out against the milky background they had been laid upon. Now actually taking in its features for real I took note of the stones and how they were blues, pinks, purples and oranges, no one stone looked like the other as each glitter faintly in Lady Er'itha's palm.

"What is this?" I asked, curious about its origins and why it had appeared to me before I'd even known of its existence here.

"It's known as Cym'brel's Pendant, it's very old and was said to have been worn by the god himself," she answered, picking up the pendant and holding it out to me. I picked up the item, cool between my fingers before I jumped lightly as the stones light flickered before glowing brighter, making me shield my eyes as I caught a glimpse of Er'itha smiling.

The glow died down but never actually stopped, settling back on its slight glimmer I glanced to Er'itha in confusion. "What was that? Does not always do that when others touch it?"

Her tusks tapped against one another in a sort chuckle before nodding. "It's only happened once before, but that's a story for another time." Taking to her feet she dipped her head in a low bow. "I want you to try and get some sleep, I need you rested so you can heal and start your training soon."

"Training?"

"Sei-i, how else are you to become blooded? Bagheera, our mentor for the pups, returns tomorrow and he'll want to meet you."

"Bagheera, he trains the pups?"

A nod. "Sei-i," Er'itha leaned forward as her tusks swept tenderly across the bandage in a sort of motherly kiss, the action new to me but oddly appreciated. "Pleasent dreams, young one."

She stood to leave but not before I tapped on the wall, grabbing her attention as I sat up. " I'm sorry."

A sweet smile appeared as her eyes seemed to twinkle in delight, making the knot that had formed in my stomach seem to untense a bit. "Thank you, now sleep Ozzy, you need your strength." She signed back playfully before asking Mayhem if he was coming. The colt snorted and took his place beside the bed, closing his eyes to sleep and giving Er'itha her answer before she finally leaving.

My eyes turned to the pendant still clutched in my talons, glowering faintly through the gaps between my fingers as I admired the craftsmanship that had been worked into the trinket. I wanted to know more about the item and why it had glowed like it had when Er'itha had passed it to me, I had so many questions that my head wound throbbed gently to remind me that I needed to head back to sleep for tomorrow where I was apparently going to start training but I wanted to know more about this pendant.

"Visualize the light to make it illuminate..." A silvery voice whispered faintly, Sir'ius? He didn't usually appear outside of my dreams unless it was to remind me of something. So instead of answering I shut my eyes, mandibles clutched while thinking of the circular trinket clutched beneath my talons as I visualized its faint glow gradually brightening.

Eyes opening to just check to see if something had happened I had to admit that I felt a little stupid to have actually tried it. No change to the pendant's light was shown which just made me question why I was listening to a voice in my head in the first place, that couldn't have been healthy.

I had undone the knot my string crafted necklace that held my father's tusk so that I could place on my newest item before retying the knot and returning it back over my head when Sir'ius spoke out again. "Try again."

Grumbling in protest I complied anyway, this time I didn't bother closing eyes as I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I thought of the flash from a camera, the suddenness of the light and how it was there then disappearing. A blinding flash had me shouting in surprise, turning the dark room painfully bright and even causing Mayhem to wake suddenly and bolting, smacking into the wall as his nostrils flared in panic while turning to look at me. I too was taken back by the sudden flare from the medallion, my heart pounded frantically beneath my rib cage as I took in deep breaths to calm myself. I threw my hands up in surrender, I was done. I needed sleep and playing with dijin was never a good idea. So after coaxing Mayhem back to sleep I pulled the covers up around me and tried to rest, strangely enough, my sleep was peaceful and nightmare free. Whatever this medallion may have been, a superstition or actually dijin I found I had never felt safer than I did now in its vaguely familiar glow.

Yautja Notes or Vocabulary:

Runner- a yautja who acts as a scout or delivery person, their main job consists of watching out for danger, scouting ahead, delivering packages, replying important messages. In all they are the message keepers, the modern Runners use ships to get from place to place quicker and carry more items, the less modern runners still use mounts or if it's not too far they will travel by foot.

Cochlear implant - cochlear implant is an electronic medical device that replaces the function of the damaged inner ear. Unlike hearing aids, which make sounds louder, cochlear implants do the work of damaged parts of the inner ear (cochlea) to provide sound signals to the brain

Dijin- the yautjan word for magic, dijin is usually referred to as black magic but covers all sources and areas of magic. More info to come later.