A/N: Okay, Dear Readers, so this is the beginning of the end, right? It's spring break time and that means that this is where the action really picks up. This chapter is a little unusual for me in that it is really only from one character's pov. Don't worry, you'll see what Jasper was up to and his reaction to Alice's news in the next chapter. Thanks to an enthusiastic reader who showered me with reviews, cullen86ers! Please, I hope you will review for this chapter! I only got one for the last one so I'm thinking maybe I'm off base here? Until next time…

Disclaimer: I am writing this story because I am a fan of Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight Saga. I do not own any of the characters, plot lines or any Twilight-related materials.

Underneath It All

Chapter 10: Damages

Alice's POV

I'd come to realize over the past several months that distractions were good. Lord knows, I'd tried to fill the days, weeks, months with them—trying to forget, trying not to interfere. Just as I'd promised my brother. But I'd just as readily come to realize that distractions were not always entirely successful.

They were for a while but if I were truly honest with myself, my fractured family and the circumstances that caused us to be so were never completely out of my mind. There were times—with Jasper—that I did well and truly forget. For awhile. Wonderfully wicked and naughty times—like the day he'd found me on the rocks—but they were fleeting. And when it was over, the guilt would come back because I knew I wasn't being completely honest or fair to my husband.

Because as happy as he made me, as loved as he made me feel, there was a huge chunk of my life that was lacking. Edward and Bella.

I still hadn't come up with a viable realistic plan of how to get our family back together and to get my stubborn brother to accept his fate—that he and Bella would be together for eternity—both as vampires. And sheesh had I tried!

I had thought of nothing but schemes and plots for weeks. But still not one blasted idea that would work. Worst of all, I'd kept my plotting from Jasper. And more than anything, I hated keeping secrets from him. First of all, I'd never been good at keeping secrets. Usually my enthusiasm got the better of me. Or just one arch of my soldier's brow while holding his gorgeous face in a stern mask and he reduced me to a quivering mass. For a variety of reasons.

And I was sorry about that. Sorry that I couldn't share this secret with him. But he wouldn't approve.

He'd mentioned far too many times since he'd caught me that day on the rocks that he knew I was honorable and that I would never ever go against Edward's express wishes or knowingly break my promise. The disapproval in his tone was enough to riddle me with guilt. And enough to keep me silent. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with that shadow of disappointment in Jasper's eyes when he looked at me if he knew what I'd really seen that day.

I was having a hard enough time as it was coping with the dissolution of our family and learning what I had about my past. Not to mention the disastrous conversations, few as they were, with Edward since the party.

I'd only told Jazz a little white lie. Okay, maybe two little white lies. Wait, did that equal a big black lie?

But it was for his own good. He believed in my visions too much. He didn't understand how blurry they could be. That just because I saw one thing today didn't mean that it would be the same tomorrow. Or even in the next hour or 15 minutes. And I wasn't sure if I should reveal to him just how very much I'd needed to talk to Edward after that day at the Last Resort and then after what I'd seen in South America...

Jazz wouldn't have approved on so many levels. But the state of existence my brother was in was not one I could live with. So unbeknownst to Jasper, I'd made a phone call. Several unanswered phone calls. Thousands of unanswered phone calls. Hundreds of unreturned texts.

Until one day, he finally picked up.

Of course, being the dutiful son that he was, Edward still called in every few months but only talked to Carlisle. He refused to speak to any of the rest of us. I hated the haunted look in Esme's eyes each time he called—the rejection that was evident in her expressive face, the slump of her shoulders each time Edward declined to speak with her.

Dang, but for the eight hundredth time I wished that Carlisle was here now! I could really use his advice. I was ready to spill my secrets to someone and other than myself, no one in the family knew Edward better. But as Jazz, Rosalie, Emmett and I had come to Denali, Esme and Carlisle had diverged to Calgary for a few days to visit an old friend and hunt.

I'd been so preoccupied with all that had been going on that I hadn't hunted in two weeks. But the hunger barely touched me. I just kept replaying my phone call with Edward over and over for the past three days. As we'd flown to Alaska, gone to Denali, spent time with Tanya, Irina, and Kate, I was there but I wasn't really there.

I spent a lot of time in Jasper and my's cozy bedroom that sported a fireplace. Just sitting in front of that fireplace staring at the unneeded fire. Staring at nothing really. Just replaying that damn phone call and despairing over anything changing.

There, another distraction. But not a good one.

I had hit the speed dial with no real hope that he would pick up. It was probably the 37th time I had dialed in a 45 minute period. On the fourth ring, I heard a click and took a breath getting ready to leave a message. Again.

"What?" His terse voice came on the line. I froze in shock. His normally velvet voice sounded low and raspy as if it was an unused instrument.

I heard a heavy sigh. "What do you want, Alice?" He'd picked up. He'd finally picked up and now I couldn't think of one blasted thing that I'd wanted to say—that I'd planned to say.

"Um, hi!" My voice was high, squeaky and I actually heard a slight tremor to it. Sheesh, I was nervous! I heard a half-growl in response. Uh-oh.

"Is that it? I'm hanging up now." His voice was still raspy but a little of the silk was back in it. And deep down, there was a tiny part of me that thought behind the exasperation, he kind of sounded—well, amused.

"Wait!" Unbelievably, my voice went up two octaves. "Don't hang up. Please." I held my breath and waited three seconds. Amazingly, I didn't hear the phone click dead on the other end.

"You're not still tracking Victoria are you?" I knew the answer but I suppose it helped assuage my own guilt at not keeping my promise. I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end. Then his tone was belligerent, almost pompous. "Of course not. Unlike some vampires, I keep my promises." That stung a little. Not a lot. But a little.

"Is that it? Worried about if I'm keeping my word? Well, I am." A harsh bitter laugh barked out of him. It sent a shiver down my spine. I thought he'd been in bad shape in Texas. He was worse now.

Any hope I'd had that time would heal the fractures in our family disappeared. This was really it. He wasn't coming back. I couldn't believe it and I was angry. Spitting angry! I suddenly felt like lashing out!

He was acting like a spoiled brat who'd had his favorite plaything taken away and he didn't care who he hurt as long as he got his way. And here I was damaging my marriage, putting walls up with the one man who'd stood by me through it all. The one who'd stayed. What was I fighting so hard for anyway?

"You know Edward, you're not the only mourning here. I've lost my best friend for an insanely stupid reason. You've extracted promise after promise from me without showing me any courtesy whatsoever or acknowledging the effect this has had on me at all. Not to mention my marriage. Oh, and the rest of our family." My words were coming out fast and low. This could be my last chance in eternity to unload on him and by God I was going to take it.

"By the way, do you not worry about her? Do you not want to know if she is safe? I mean this is Bella we're talking about for Christ's sake! Even you said she was a magnet for danger. If you'd only let me search out and be sure. I'm in a constant state of worry here and it's taking a toll. I can't believe that you would be so dense as to think that by us being gone that nothing will happen to her. She's human. And Bella. Or she could be in such a state that she does something desperate."

"Enough!" His tone was tight and authoritative. I kept silent although there were loads more I wanted to say. "She won't do anything that would put her in danger. Or anything desperate. She promised me. And for the love of God, Alice, DON'T make me ask this again. Don't search out her future. We've done more than enough damage for the span of her human life." The anger was gone. Now he just sounded tired. Hopeless and tired. Never a good combination. Especially since vampires didn't tire.

"I'm sorry, imp. Sorry for all of it. I'm sorry you're suffering. I'm sorry this is hurting you and Jasper. But I can't take it back. I can't. She'll forget. She's probably already forgotten." His voice cracked on this last word and my heart cracked in two. I'd seen how he was suffering in Brazil. I'd seen what he was doing to himself.

And suddenly I realized something. He was not being selfish in staying away. He was trying to protect us from being around him in his current state. Of course! How could I be so blind? That is who he was. Always putting others ahead of himself, always trying to protect everyone even at his own expense. It was part of what made him so very very good.

And yet, much like my Jasper, that tendency to be overprotective could be an incredible flaw capable of much damage. But if you loved someone, you loved all of them—the good and the bad.

It was time for me to accept Edward and his pronouncements. He was wrong. So very wrong. But I'd finally told him all of that. Now, I was going to have to do something that was not natural to me—be patient. Wait this out. It would have to work out. I had to believe that. Besides, he'd used his old nickname for me. I knew he still cared. And if he still cared, he wouldn't be able to stay away from us forever.

"Okay, Edward. You win. I'll abide by your wishes. And I won't bother you again. I know that when you're ready, you'll come home. You will come home. And I don't know that because I've searched it out. This is something I know in my heart. Non-working thing that it is. I miss you."

I heard a deep shuddering sigh on the other end and I realized that he was crying. Oh, there would be no tears running down his face. But for Edward, this was crying. It broke my heart even further. "Miss you too. You little freak." I chuckled knowing that only Edward could make that sound like an endearment. But before I could say anything else, I knew he was gone. It was that eerie silence from the other end of the phone when instinctively you know you're alone.

A light knock on the door brought me out of my reverie. I knew it wasn't Jazz. He and Emmett were supposedly hunting and probably doing all sorts of foolish competitions in the Alaskan wilderness. Besides, he would have just come in.

"Come in." I called softly. The door opened slowly and I saw a glimpse of Rosalie's golden hair and then she just peeked her head in the door. It was so unlike Rose to be hesitant about anything. It piqued my curiosity.

"Alice? Do you have a sec?" Wow, again, not really like Rose. She usually just assumed I would want to hear whatever she had to say. "Sure, Rose. Come in and join me." I patted the matching beige armchair next to mine in front of the now dying fire.

In less than a second, she was seated next to me, looking at me with apprehension. Had something happened? Bad news? I'd never seen her so nervous before. If anything Rose usually overcompensated when she was nervous by acting even haughtier or more confident.

It never bothered me. Not like it did Edward. Or even Jasper to an extent. Actually, Rosalie and I were closer than even most of our family realized. I think I was one of the few females in the world that Rose could relate to—because she didn't really think of me as competition.

And I wasn't. But there was a lot more to Rosalie than just the surface beauty. She just didn't like to show that to a lot of people. I think Carlisle knew it. Emmett, somewhat. And then there was me. Outside of Emmett, I was the one she spent the most time with in the family. It wasn't a lot of time but it was enough.

So it worried me now to see her chewing on her thumbnail as she looked at me anxiously. It was starting to set me on edge a little bit.

"Rose?" Just her name as a question. I didn't have to say anything else.

"Alice, I need your help." Her voice was soft yet determined. This was big. Rosalie didn't ask for help.

"What is it sweetie? You know I'll do anything I can." I meant it too.

She opened her mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. Most people would probably look like a dying fish but of course on Rosalie—well, she still looked like a dying fish but the prettiest dying fish you ever would have seen. I started counting in my head to ten to keep from filling the lengthening silence.

"Alice, it's Forks. I want to go back to Forks and I want you to help me—help us—get back there." It wasn't said pleadingly or even belligerently. She just said it almost defiantly—as if daring me to decline or to tell her she was crazy.

"I don't know if I understand, Rose." My eyebrows drew down in confusion. I really wasn't sure what she was asking.

She drew in a deep breath. "I know we promised Edward. But it looks like he's not coming back and I really don't see the problem of us going back. I mean in three months you and Bella would graduate. You could just avoid her at school. Then she'll be gone to college and no one would be the wiser." She was pleading now. Her face had grown softer, her eyes were begging me to agree, to understand.

"It's really the only place I've ever been happy. And I miss it. I don't miss her. But I miss our life there." Her eyes had hardened when she mentioned Bella. I decided to ignore that part. It was no great secret that there was no love lost when it came to Bella. But it was obvious that there was when it came to Forks.

Rosalie's admission kind of took me aback. It shouldn't have. I remembered the lengths she was willing to go to when Edward struggled with how to handle his feelings for Bella, his thirst for her. And it hadn't been for Edward's sake. She'd made it plain that she did not want to leave Forks. And yet less than a year later, that's exactly what we'd had to do. Yet again, just more collateral damage in the bomb that had been Bella's birthday.

I'd been so wrapped up in my own pain and grief and scheming that I hadn't even bothered to notice how it had affected Rosalie. Granted, she and Emmett had spent most of their time in Europe but now I understood why. I'm sure it'd been too painful for her to be near the rest of us in someplace other than what she considered home.

"Oh, Rosalie! I had no idea you felt that way! I understand, I truly do. But Rose, we promised and I don't think it would be…good…" I hesitated to say this because I knew it would probably provoke a very Rosalie-like reaction and it'd been kind of nice up to this point. More like sisters.

"I don't think it would be good for…Bella" Sure enough, Rose gave a slight hiss at the name but I plowed ahead. It was important for her to understand why I couldn't help her. "…if we came back without Edward." As I finished, I realized that connecting my refusal to Edward and Bella could possibly cause irreparable damage to Rosalie and my's relationship but I'd had to say it. It was the truth.

Her eyes narrowed at my words and her mouth was set in a grim line. "It's not fair! Why do we always have to do everything he wants? Why do the rest of us have to suffer because of his mistakes?" Her tone while tinged with anger, actually sounded more hurt. I felt sorry for her but I couldn't show her my pity. She would not accept it.

I leaned across and laid a hand on her forearm, squeezing it reassuringly. "Because sweetie, he's had to do it for us too sometimes. And even though we don't always all agree or always even get along, we are a family. And that's what families do—they support each other through good and bad times. Because we love each other—the good and the bad."

She had looked down when I started speaking and when she looked back up her eyes were bright as if with unshed tears and her full bottom lip quivered. But then she set her jaw and lifted her chin a bit defiantly and her eyes flashed at me. "Fine." She said between clenched teeth. Ah, this was more like the Rose I knew and loved. "But don't you expect me to like it Alice Cullen. And don't expect me to ask you for anything ever again!"

I grinned at her. This I knew how to handle. But just as I opened my mouth to respond, it happened.

My temples throbbed and then I felt my face go slack. I'd told Edward time and again that I couldn't always control it. I never knew if it was all of the talk of Forks and Bella or my constant replay of my phone conversation with Edward or if it was just how attuned I was to her but whatever it was—it led me to the most frightening vision of my existence up to that point.

He was wrong. She was desperate. So desperate that I saw the whole thing happen.

She ran right to the edge of a high cliff and flung herself over the edge. She went into the swirling waters below and then…nothing. I just saw Bella die.

Rosalie had gripped my hand and was slightly shaking me. "What is it? Alice! What's happened?"

I looked at her horrified. I couldn't find my voice. Could this be? Bella dead? And at her own hand? No! I had to stop this. But how long? How long did I have? I could have days, months, but also maybe minutes.

Somehow, acting on pure instinct, I jumped to my feet. Rosalie followed me and gripped me by the shoulders. "Alice, you're scaring me. What did you see?"

"Rose, it's awful. Bella…she…she…she's going to die. She could be dead already." My voice was a whisper. I still couldn't find it.

Rose looked at me in disbelief. "How? When?" She was shocked but I could see behind her eyes that she was already thinking about what this meant. Not to Charlie or Edward or even me, but what it meant for our family and her.

I felt anger surge through me along with my grief or maybe as a result of my grief. A mirthless laugh escaped me. "She flings herself off a cliff. I don't know when. I wouldn't start packing just yet." Rose looked at me a little stunned and a little guilty.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a plane to catch." I shook off her hands and moved past her to the dresser where my cell phone lay. I wondered how far away Jazz was. This really wasn't something I wanted to say on the phone.

Plus I wanted him to go with me. I needed him to go with me. I wasn't sure how I would handle being there for Charlie, how I would handle truly mourning for Bella, if I didn't have Jazz to go home to at the end of the day.

Rose moved to the door and paused. "Alice, I am sorry if you took my reaction the wrong way. And I'm truly sorry if this happens. But I can't be sorry that it might mean we get to go home."

And before I could respond, she was gone. Which was probably best because I was shaking in my anger and my grief and I would likely have said things that I would have not been able to take back later.

I had no time to waste worrying about Rosalie though. I hit the speed dial for Jazz's cell. He picked up on the first ring. Oddly, I heard laughter in the background. One or maybe all of the Denali sisters and Emmett guffawing as if they'd just heard the world's funniest joke. It seemed so incongruous. So wrong. How could anyone laugh at a time like this? But then I remembered. They didn't know.

"Pixie." His voice washed over me like warm whiskey. So full of love. Just that one word. God, please let me find my voice.

"Cowboy, where are you?" My voice was barely above a whisper and it didn't sound like me at all. It sounded lifeless, dead.

"Alice, what's happened? Are you okay?" I could hear the alarm in his voice and I heard the wind . He was running. Probably as fast as he could now that he'd heard my voice.

"How far away are you? I need to talk to you but not on the phone." Again, no life. I couldn't even pretend. Besides, there was a part of me that wanted him to get here as fast as he could. I felt bad about panicking him, but it couldn't be helped.

"I'll be there in five minutes, darlin'. Maybe less." And I knew he meant it. "Okay, thank you." I whispered. My voice had finally left me again. And then I snapped the phone shut.

Once he was here, I would be okay. I would be able to do what I had to do. And we'd have time to get to the airport and maybe we'd be in time to save her. Or maybe my vision was wrong. Sometimes I got crossed with a faulty wire. Maybe this was one of those times.

But that's when my knees gave out and I fell to the floor in a fetal position. I knew I was fooling myself. My vision wasn't faulty. And we wouldn't be in time to save her. We'd be there in time to help Charlie and Renee plan her funeral. At least I'd have Jasper with me.

And once we'd made it through all of that—well, then and only then would I figure out how in the blue blazes I was going to tell my brother so that he would not join her.