Wow! Two updates in under four months! I'm on a roll! Seriously, just butter me up and throw me in the oven.
Not literally. The first would be creepy, and if you guys did the second, I would die, so let's not, okay?
I've recently begun to read Earnest Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms. If you're under the age of…10….don't read it. But if you pass that qualification, find a copy, sit down, and let yourself be taken to Italy, World War 1 era. Which actually isn't that happy of a time period. But it's still a good book.
Who doesn't love Hemingway?
Disclaimer: Finals. Not. (in)Fringement.
Crap, Goddamnit….
"Speedy! SPEEDY!" I banged on the door of the idiotic archer. He opened it in a pair of boxers, rubbing his eyes.
"Who the f-oh it's just you. Wally, it's 3 in the morning, what are you doing here?"
I ran in and jumped on his couch, grabbing a bag of potato chips. "Umm…just wanted to see you?" I was beginning to experience second doubt about coming back to Speedy for dating advice.
"You're eating Salt and Vinegar Lays." He walked over, yawning, sitting in the chair across from me.
"So?"
"So, you hate Salt and Vinegar Lays. You say they taste like someone dropped a bag of potato chips in the ocean, and didn't take them back out again until after they'd been eaten by a whale."
"Maybe my taste buds are changing. I am a teenager. Still growing."
"Still growing, my ass. Wally you're upset."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are to-WAIT I AM NOT FUCKING DOING THIS AGAIN." He took a breath, and starting rubbing his temples. "Why are you upset, Wally? The date didn't go well? She said no? Speaking of, how did the date go?"
I didn't answer, instead suffering through the bag of potato chips. Speedy knew me well. These chips were the nastiest things I had ever tasted. Salt and Vinegar Lays were to me as kryptonite was to Superman. Blegh.
"Wally. Tell me, or so help me, I will call Robin down here, and have him talk some sense into you."
"I'm older than Robin. He can't talk sense into me."
"He sure can punch it into you then."
"Super speed." I pointed to myself, and grabbed another chip. Goddamnit, I can't stop eating these. "Do you have any other potato chips?"
"I don't. Tell me what happened."
"Do I have too?"
"Yes." Speedy revealed a bow and arrow from behind him. He notched it, and pointed it at me before I could even gag on another potato chip.
I gulped. "Well, she thinks I'm cheating on her again. But she's much more okay with it, if that counts for anything."
"She thinks you're CHEATING on HER?"
"Isn't that what I just said?"
"You were going to PROPOSE. THAT'S ABOUT AS FAR FROM THE FUCKING POINT YOU CAN GET."
"Speedy, I wasn't proposing, I was going to ask her to live with me."
"Don't you guys already live together?"
"Not really. She kicked me out after the first week. I found a nice apartment a little ways away. It's not as expensive, and it's nice, and I thought we could live there together until I decided it was time to propose, and then we could get married, and have two kids, and name them after her and me…"
"You're starting to sound like Starfire. Don't become a Starfire."
"Starfire's plans involve throwing Robin into a pit of flesh-eating piranha for their honeymoon."
"Yeah, but she's gonna jump with him, so it's cool right?"
Speedy didn't get that Starfire doesn't realize that humans can't fly yet. I've caught her trying to throw Robin off the roof while he's sleeping often enough to know that. "Whatever, Speedy."
"Still. We need to fix this. How can you prove you aren't cheating? Again?"
"Maybe…maybe she doesn't want me anymore? I mean, she seemed pretty okay with leaving me after she thought I was cheating at the restaurant. Who's to say that it's not because she actually wants me to leave?"
"It's definitely not that."
"But Speedy, what if it is? What if she does feel that way?" I pulled my knees to my chest, disregarding the chips. I had our entire future planned out. Jinx was the only girl I could ever want. I couldn't believe that I wasn't the same for her.
"How about we test how much she loves you?" Speedy grinned at me. I glanced up.
"I don't like seeing you in that face while almost naked. It's unnerving."
"Get used to it, Loverboy. You'll be seeing this a lot very soon."