Ziva followed Gibbs mindlessly into McGee's room. Her body may have been there, but her mind wasn't. Her mind was still with Tony. Would they get all the bullets out? Would they be able to repair all the damage? Would he be able to walk? Would he be able to use both arms? Would he be able to return to NCIS?
Would he live?
When she saw McGee, she was brought back to reality, stark reality. The McGee before her looked nothing like the McGee she knew. This wasn't the McGee she would tease with Tony, the McGee she would gang up against Tony with, the McGee who she'd known for four years. This McGee looked desolate, despondent, disheartened, practically suicidal. While she'd been thinking McGee had been explaining to Gibbs what happened. She tuned in.
"I'm sorry boss," McGee was saying.
"You know how I feel about apologies McGee," Gibbs replied.
"I know boss, but it's my fault," McGee said, pain written across his face. "I'm his partner. I'm supposed to make sure stuff like this doesn't happen to him."
Gibbs was silent for a moment. Ziva knew he was considering his next words carefully. Her heart went out to McGee. She knew what that guilt felt like. It was crushing, all consuming, and murderous.
"McGee," Gibbs said. "Did you fire that gun?"
"Sorry boss?" McGee frownde, not understanding.
"Did you fire the gun that shot DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.
"No," McGee replied.
"Then this is not your fault," Gibbs told him firmly. "You hear me?" McGee nodded.
Ziva's mind drifted away again. Would he be in surgery by now? She said a silent prayer for McGee, before letting her thoughts return firmly to Tony.
Tony, I am sorry. I am sorry for every prank I pulled on you, every time I teased you, everything I ever did to hurt you. I am sorry I did not invite you to dinner that time. I am sorry I teased you about Kate. I am sorry Ari killed her. I am sorry I blamed you for Michael's death. I am sorry, so sorry. If you make it, if you come through, I will never hurt you again. I will never do anything which could hurt you. I will never lie to you. I will thank you for rescuing me in Somalia. And I will tell you the truth. About everything. I swear.