Merida can't help but feel a little nervous as she watches the sunrise over the Capitol city skyline. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before due to a startling amount of nightmares. Each one was different in its own, terrifying way. The first was her typical nightmare, where she revisits her final moments in the arena; the moments she had realized what winning had cost her. But something about the others had been bizarre, even for her.
After Jack had faded from her dream, she had been standing in an unfamiliar forest, surrounded by wet, thick greenery. She would run and run and never seem to break through the tree line. Lost in a dizzying, lonely wood, she would wander, never finding a way out.
In her third nightmare, Merida could feel this thick pressure collapsing against her chest as she laid, facing the late afternoon sky. She was choking, and when her frantic eyes would meet those of the strangler, her blood would boil in anger and a twinge of heartbreak. I trusted you! She felt like shouting at him. But Robin was crushing her windpipe, and nothing would escape from her lips.
Her fourth and final nightmare was by far the worst. She shudders, drawing her arms closer to her body as she recalls the terror of it. She is sitting in her bed at home. She wonders if maybe that's why it terrifies her so much; it's like not even her own bedroom is safe from her night terrors. In her dream land, she had been watching some twisted version of the games where every tribute was someone she cares about. Her mother was there. Her father and brothers were all there too. Even Mr. Haddock and Toothiana and Esmeralda and Maleficent were there. She had sat there, unable to help them; unable to be by their side as they fought. Unable to call for them and let them know that she's there, that they're not alone. Something about that dream was worse than the others that she'd had and so, thinking back on it, she could feel her skin start to crawl.
So she had spent almost all night, curled up in the massive armchair that faced the window, watching the flashing lights of the Capitol city illuminate the inky darkness. And when the rays of sunlight had started to poke up above the rooftops, Merida knew that all hope for rest was lost.
Toothiana hadn't come back after her unannounced disappearance the day before either, but Merida didn't dare fret over her too. She had far too much to be fearful for already. The flighty, little woman didn't make the cut just yet; she can handle herself.
Esmeralda is the first person to contact her at the start of the day, via a phone call through the hotel landline. When it rings, Merida nearly leaps out of her chair, startled by the capacity of its volume. She is hesitant to answer, but after only briefly considering any negative consequences, she brings the device up to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Merida...?" The familiar voice rings through her eardrums. The redhead lets out a little sigh of relief.
"Es, hi!" She replies, more excitedly than she had wanted. "Uh, is everything ok?"
"Oh, yeah everything's good." There is dead air between them until she speaks up again. "I was just checking in to make sure you hadn't killed yourself yet." There is a hint of laughter in her voice and Merida can't help but crack a smile.
"You have that little faith in me?" She mocks. "You think that I'd off myself, not even after a whole day?"
"I dunno. You can be unpredictable sometimes." Merida scoffs, unsure of how to respond. "Speaking of which," Es continues, "how are your darling tributes fairing in the Capitol? Are they ready for training today?" Merida is hesitant to reply right away and instead, chews on her lower lip for a moment.
"They both hate it here." She pauses before adding "Astrid hates it more than Flynn," at which Esmeralda chuckles. "And I hope they're ready for training. There isn't a lot I can really do for them besides wish them luck, is there?" The question sounds rhetorical, but Merida is genuinely curious. What else can she do?
"I guess not..." Her friend's reply doesn't offer her much comfort, but she takes what little she can get at this point. "How- uh..." The woman continues, "how are you holding up?"
"Erm, I'm fine," Merida lies. "Just a wee bit tired I guess." She doesn't wait for Esmeralda to reply before switching the subject. "How's my family?" She hopes that her former mentor understands the real question behind her façade: have they been having nightmares? Es is silent for a few seconds before she sighs quietly into the receiver, but Merida catches it and takes it as a bad sign.
"They're fine." It sounds like she shrugs but how can she be sure? "Your brothers miss you..."
"Oh..." She replies, trying not to sound so downhearted. She misses them too, very earnestly, but deep down she thinks that Esmeralda is lying to her, and her little brothers are happier without her presence to have to avoid.
"Yeah...other than that, there's nothing to report."
"How are the horses?" The black haired beauty chuckles on the other end of the line.
"Toothless got out last night after you left," she explains. "Caused Mr. Haddock all sorts of trouble."
"Good." Merida smirks, tracing her finger along the edge of the windowsill as she wanders around the little room. "Someone's got to while I'm away."
The rest of their conversation is trivial. It isn't until they begin to talk about the weather when Merida hears Astrid let out a slew of swears from her bedroom.
"I better make sure she isn't hanging herself." She says sarcastically, remembering how Robin had said something like that was part of her job description. Esmeralda only scoffs before saying her farewells, and then the line goes dead.
Merida only knocks once before sliding the door open. What she finds is not what she expects; although she has to be a little relived, seeing as she had expected to find her tribute sporting a rope necklace. The blonde is wearing the typical, tribute, training outfit and standing in front of the mirror, scowling at her reflection as she attempts to fasten her hair into a braid. Merida raises an eyebrow at the frustrated girl and crosses her arms.
"Erm...are you ok?"
Astrid huffs and drops her hands to her side, aggravation overwhelming her.
"I can't get my hair to stay in a fucking braid!" She yanks at the pin that holds a small portion of her yellow locks together and groans. "And this outfit is hideous."
"Yeah..." Merida replies, moving closer to the agitated tribute. "They are." She clears her throat. "Are you ready for training?" Astrid's only reply is a scoff, so Merida continues, in a sad attempt at making amends for her outburst the night before. "How'd you sleep?"
"Terribly," Astrid mutters. "It's like one wild party after another here in the Capitol. The lights kept me awake half the night..." She motions to the large window and frowns. Merida remembers back to the time when it had been her standing in front of that mirror, sleep deprived and bitter, and how Hiccup had comforted her angry spirit.
"It changes you know." The blonde gives her a quizzical look as Merida movies toward the little nightstand beside her bed. She slides the top drawer open and, as it had been exactly a year before, a little remote control lays, untouched, on the smooth, wooden surface, against the back wall. She scoops it up and with unnecessary caution, presses the black button in the center, causing the massive window picture to change. It shows the pristine, white and silver buildings of District 1, shrouded in a thin layer of frost. Merida lets out a small sigh and extends her hand to Astrid, who eyes the remote curiously. "It's got all the Districts programmed in." Gingerly, Astrid wraps her fingers around the controller and presses the button. The screen switches to the steel mills of District 2 and she smiles, for the first time that Merida can remember since the Reaping. It doesn't take long before the window is alive with the sounds and sights of District 10, and the blond takes in a deep breath. The two females just stand there, staring at the rolling hills, and open skies in silence. It almost feels like home for just a brief moment, until she hears the door slide open and she sees, in a bit of a surprise, Casey, standing by the threshold. Astrid's eyes don't break away from the window as Merida moves toward the young train attendant, narrowing her eyes in confusion.
"I thought you'd have headed home by now." The girl nods slowly and shrugs, holding out a little slip of paper to the redhead.
"I was about to board the train last night when Toothiana ran into me and asked me to give you this in the morning." She bites her lip as Merida takes the little note and unfolds it, irritation toward the sponsor starting to emerge once again. "It's morning now, so..." she shrugs again, "here I am." Merida doesn't even listen to anything else that the little brunette says as she reads.
"Merida,
I'm sorry to have run off like that without much warning. I've just realized how much catching up I have yet to achieve and I'd be the absolute worst person in the world if I let my friends go another moment without seeing me. I have been away for a whole year and it's odd how much things have changed since then. I will not be able to help send off your tributes to training in the morning, as I will be busy. I hope you understand, and I will see you at dinner tonight.
Love, Toothiana."
She crumples it up before she even considers doing anything else with it. Casey looks stunned, and slightly embarrassed, rocking back and forth on her heals.
"Erm...is everything ok?"
"Yeah. Fine." Merida lies, pushing past the train attendant, and striding into the main room of the hotel suite. Something about her presence makes her angrier, and she can't quite figure why. She can go anywhere in the nation, and she chooses to hang out here in the Capitol. It just rubs her the wrong way.
"Don't be too hard on her," Casey says, following Merida into the other room. "Whatever it is she's up to, I'm sure it's important." Merida scoffs and tosses the letter into the trash bin.
"Yeah, gallivanting around the city, eating up the Capitol propaganda like it's what's for breakfast is /really/ important." Casey doesn't reply. Rather, she shakes her head and starts to move for the exit. Merida doesn't stop her as she leaves. It isn't worth taking her frustration out on the train girl.
It isn't long after Casey leaves that Merida, Flynn, and Astrid are making there way through the Capitol to the training building. The Elevator chimes at each floor as they descend to the underground room for the tributes. Merida clears her throat.
"Have you considered how you're going to make allies?" Astrid scoffs in reply.
"I don't need allies. I'll be fine on my own." The redhead rolls her eyes.
Gods, Esmeralda was right. She's just like me! She decides not to get snappy with the tribute, and instead, let's out a low, calm sigh.
"I thought so too," she begins. "I didn't want the responsibility of looking after anyone but myself in that arena." She can see Astrid roll her eyes, but she ignores it. "But making allies was the smartest thing I've ever done. They saved my life." Her face flushes at the memory of her former friends and she chews her lip. "Rapunzel taught me everything I needed to know about the careers and gave us the upper hand. Elsa pulled us out of the river. Hiccup was my friend and support through all the times I considered giving up. And Jack sacrificed himself for me." She shakes her head, noticing Rider and Astrid's faces soften. "I wouldn't be here without them. Think about that while you train."
The elevator dings and the automated voice drones "sub level 3" as the door slides open. Astrid and Flynn exchange a look and begin to walk down the hall.
"If anything, make one friend. Even if it's each other." The tributes turn to look back at her, but the door is already sliding shut and Merida is left to frown at her own, foggy reflection in the metal wall. Her grimace deepens, the longer she continues to stare at herself. As the elevator drags her back up through each floor of the stadium, Merida can't help but be fearful for her Tributes. That's what they are after all: hers. It's been so long since she has found herself taking pride in other people and she can't say that she hates it. She just has to remember that at the very least, one of them won't be making it back to her at the end of this week.
"Why the long face, Ms. Merida?"
She must not have heard the elevator stop and announce her arrival to the main floor. Merida nearly leaps out of her freckled skin at the sound of Tiana's voice. The District 6 mentor is standing beside Pocahontas and Ariel, just outside the elevator doors. Merida blushes, beat-red as she steps out of the lift, doing her best to avoid any and all eye contact.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Pocahontas says in a voice as smooth as the wind. Merida scowls a little and shakes her head.
"I'm fine," she mutters, breaking through their little huddle and heading toward the exit.
"Are you in a hurry?" Ariel calls out. "We're going to grab a bite to eat with Herc and Tarzan while our Tributes train. You're welcome to join us." Out of courtesy, Merida stops her leave and turns to face them. In the kindest voice she can manage, she gives a half-assed excuse.
"I have things to do." They don't bother trying to convince her otherwise. They obviously aren't all that interested in spending the day with her either.
She makes the mistake of assuming she's in the clear once she leaves the stadium. It isn't until she turns the corner at the end of the block when she hears an all too familiar voice chime from somewhere behind her.
"Hey Ginger, wait up!"
Don't count on it.
Figuring he'll go away if she ignores him, Merida keeps walking. The thumping of feet against the sidewalk tells her that she is wrong. He is striding beside her in a matter of seconds and she can't help but let out a deep sigh of irritation.
"Is it time already for you to ruin my day?" Robin laughs at her annoyance as though she's joking. For the hundredth time throughout the trip Merida wishes she could smack that grin right off of his pale face. After their moment in the hotel room the days before, Merida had wondered if maybe she could actually trust this guy, but after her latest night terrors and seeing the way he bounced around the Capitol so care-free, her skepticism returns easily.
"I want you to meet someone," Robin says, disregarding her previous comment.
"And I want Pitch's head on a platter," she mumbles. He doesn't seem to hear her, or maybe refuses to acknowledge her. Either way, he continues with his ignorant babbling.
"Al, get over here," she hears him call out behind them. "Mer, this is Aladdin."
"Don't call me-"
"Aladdin, this is Merida. I don't think you two have ever been formally introduced yet." Aladdin is walking alongside them not a moment later and Merida lets out a sigh.
"Nice to meet you, Red." Merida feels herself beginning to snap. She barely turns her head to address the mentor and instead, scoffs.
"I'd be lying if I said the same." She can see Aladdin physically recoil and she can't help but crack a grin. It's been a while since she intimidated anyone. Despite her obvious antagonistic behavior, the two mentors continue to walk with her.
"Aladdin mentors District 12," Robin says, breaking the awkward silence.
"Good for him," Merida mutters, her words going unheard by the orange haired nuisance.
"He's newer at the whole mentoring thing as well. He won the Games about three years ago."
She says nothing in reply, in hopes that Robin will understand her disinterest, but, as usual, she underestimates his persistence.
"So where are you headed?" But before she can answer, he keeps going. "Wanna grab a bite to eat? I know all the good eatin' spots here in the city."
"No seafood though," Aladdin jokes, elbowing Merida playfully in the side. She flinches, feeling her muscles tense as she fights the urge to dig her knuckles into his cheek. Robin laughs along with him and Merida is overwhelmed with the feeling that she is surrounded, at every turn, by Capitol citizens.
"I'm not hungry," she lies. As a matter of fact, Merida feels famished. It was her usual struggle with the Capitol; the food was too lavish for her to enjoy it without thinking of her district mates., practically starving.
"Merida..." The way he says her name catches her attention. A tone of seriousness glazes each syllable and makes her shudder. For the first time since they met, Robin has her full attention. "I've been where you are. Believe me, I know. We are always hungry."
Was it meant to be as deep as she was interpreting it? Was it a dig on the Capitol's cuisine? She can't decipher his words in time, for when she goes to speak, a startling bellow makes her twitch.
"Robin!" Mulan is strutting up from behind them as she yells. Robin doesn't seem at all fazed. His split second of depth is peeled away, replaced by a crooked grin that flashes his teeth. "What have you been doing?" The cross woman throws her verbal jabs as Merida and her unwelcome company turn to face her.
"I was just catching up with our friend, Merida," he shrugs. Merida doesn't even bother correcting him at this point. According to the Capitol, she's everyone's friend.
"Well thanks to you, we're going to be late /again." Mulan snaps. "You know how he doesn't like to be kept waiting." The ginger scoffs and crosses his arms.
"His majesty should learn the value of patience."
"You should learn the value of respect."
Their intense stare down makes Merida uncomfortable, but something about the exchange fascinates her. Was Robin really bad-mouthing Pitch so openly? Had she misjudged him? After a moment of thick, palpable silence, Robin yawns and stretches his arms above his head.
"Well, what are we waiting for then?" He asks, giving Mulan a nudge. "Can't be late for our very important meeting."
The two of them are walking off in the direction of the Capitol's main square before anyone can say another word. Merida is relieved to be left alone, until she remembers that this is still, untrue. Hoping that she and Aladdin will part ways in silence, the cautious redhead begins to walk away.
"Wait," he chimes before she can take but three steps. "Where are you going?"
Why should she answer? Why shouldn't she just ignore him and keep waking like everyone else in the city would? The barrage of "why"s aren't enough to keep her mouth shut.
"Uh...to my hotel room?" It's a question, because she doesn't understand his need to know her agenda. The tan man looks downhearted as he replies with a simple "oh," before shrugging.
"I guess that means we aren't still on for lunch."
What!?
They never were on for lunch. When had she agreed to their impromptu self-invitation for a meal? Oh right, she hadn't.
"I mean, you can still eat lunch. I'm not going to stop you." Aladdin's reply is a shrug and a scratch of the back of his head.
"I was kind of looking forward to the company," he admits, less sheepishly than Merida feels she would have.
"You can do better, trust me. I'm not the most thrilling company." His lack of response makes Merida assume that she is in the clear, and she walks away again.
"How's Esmeralda?"
"What?" The ginger snaps her head around in confusion and irritation, all bunched up in one expression. Aladdin's face turns pink.
"Esmeralda," he says again. "How is she?" Merida isn't sure how to respond. She assumes that they most likely knew each other, having both mentored at the same time, but the way he blushes makes her uncomfortable.
"Um, she's...fine?" Her answer comes with questionable inflection. "I just spoke with her earlier this morning."
"Did she say anything about me?" Taken aback, Merida scoffs.
"Why the fu-" she catches herself about to snap at this man and closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "She did not, no." He looks upset and she can't figure why. She can't imagine Esmeralda having any friendly bones in her body, let alone having friends and so this whole exchange seems bizarre. Before Aladdin can recover from what seemed to be a hard hit, Merida takes off in the direction of the hotel yet again. Guilt prods at her heart as she leaves Aladdin alone, but only it lasts for a moment, until she is left with nothing but the sweet silence of solitude as she walks.
Author's Notes:
OK so I'm actually gonna start updating this again! WOOO! Regularly, I might add. (String emphasis in might) I'm thinking every Friday, or maybe even every other Friday, depending on how much work stuff I have to do.
This chapter took a long time to write, tbh. I really like the Merobin friendship and I know a lot of y'all do too!
I hope to keep writing quickly and I love hearing your feedback! Really really cool things will be happening within the next few chapters that I'm SO EXCITED FO YOU HAVE NO IDEA!