Toriel awoke early the next morning, before the sun had fully risen. Not because of the usual rude awakening via her alarm, but because of all the magical activity stirred up by the child inside her. As she had feared, giving them all that attention and encouraging them to respond so much had resulted in quite a drain on Toriel's magic. A drain that manifested in her feeling quite ill, in a way that was quickly becoming a rather miserable routine.
So it was that she started yet another early morning in the bathroom slouched over the toilet bowl. Thankfully, it never lasted too long, but she felt so drained by the end of it that it always took her a bit to force herself to get up from the floor and start her day.
As he had before, Sans had appeared at her side shortly after she'd left him alone in bed. Despite the fact he could practically sleep through anything when he wanted to, and the fact she'd made efforts to leave quietly, he always seemed to take notice. Especially now that they knew the cause of it.
He stood beside her and gently stroked the fur on the back of her neck as she flushed and shut the lid of the toilet. There was an odd stiffness to his movements today, but she didn't yet have the focus to pay it much notice. Her mind was still trying to wake up along with the rest of her, and this certainly hadn't been a proper way to rouse it.
"you alright tori?" Sans asked after a moment, and she felt something be pushed into one of her paws. "here, drink some water. i'll go get your medicine."
Toriel blinked and took the cup, finding her paw was a little shaky, but not too bad. She took a small sip, and even the small amount of magic it offered made her feel a little better. Sans kept his hand on her a moment, clearly trying to make sure she'd stay upright, before he walked to the medicine cabinet above the sink. Toriel watched him, feeling a touch of fond amusement as he pulled over the stepstool in order to reach the cabinet properly. That along with the water seemed to do the trick in clearing some of the fog from her mind.
"Thank you dear." She responded at last, a little late but better than never. "Yes… I am alright. Just the… morning sickness, I am afraid. I suppose it is hitting me earlier today. I will be fine."
Sans made a soft sound of acknowledgement, having located her medicine and hopped down from the stool to walk back to her. He was clearly still worried, but knowing the cause of her sudden sickness at least kept either of them from fearing anything serious. As much as their child's growth meant Toriel would have to endure terrible mornings like this, among other things that she was sure would come in the future, it was more than worth it to know that her child was developing well. Even Asriel hadn't pulled this much magic from her at this stage. She figured it was the shorter timeframe of the pregnancy that was blame.
"guess we oughta have you take that before bed going forward, huh?" Sans said, gently taking her free paw and shaking a pill from the bottle into it.
Toriel closed her fingers around it and popped it into her mouth before she could get hung up on the less than pleasant taste. She downed it with a gulp of water and then relaxed with a heavy sigh.
"That may be a good idea." She conceded, turning to face him better. "I will have to ask the doctor about that when I see them."
Perhaps it was merely a placebo effect or just her wits returning to her, but she already began to feel a little better as she finished off the rest of the water. She stretched a bit and then looked over at Sans, who she only just now noticed looked a bit of sorts. His eyelights were hazy, staring blankly over at the wall. And she could just make out the soft sound of his bones rattling ever so slightly. She sat up fully then, leaning over to rest a paw on his back. He startled a bit at her touch and looked over at her with an unsteady grin, one that showed he knew she had noticed his behavior.
"Are... you okay, my dear?" She asked, concern pricking at her soul. "You are trembling a little."
There was a beat where even now, she could see his old instincts to try and laugh off such situations or avoid them entirely grip him. But unlike the previous year, he caught himself and hesitantly allowed let his true emotions be shown on his face as he let out a shaky sigh. She could see then that he was unsettled… and maybe even a little frightened.
"h-heh… i uh… i had a weird dream about… gaster." He admitted, shifting uneasily and looking down towards the floor. "but not like the usual ones. it... wasn't even really a nightmare. it was over so quick… and it felt… i dunno, it felt different. it's got me a little rattled , not gonna lie."
He smiled weakly at that, clearly trying to maintain some levity. But Toriel was too wrapped up in what he had said to acknowledge that or his pun. She blinked at him, eyes wide. She'd been so caught up in her bout of nausea upon waking that she'd forgotten that odd fragment the dream she'd had the previous night. It was… hazy, but now that he put it into words it was starting to become clear to her again. The image of Gaster… or some horrid thing that vaguely resemble him, looming over her in a terrible darkness.
A deep sense of unease flooded through her, and she could more clearly understand what had Sans so shaken up. Whatever that dream was… it wasn't like any she ever had… nor was it like when she had her lost memories returned. It was something else. Something that felt deeply wrong in a way she wasn't sure she could fully grasp.
"I… I think I may have actually had a similar dream." She breathed, looking at him with wide eyes. "In just the same way… it was so short that it didn't really even register until you mentioned it just now."
Sans blinked at her, clearly not comforted at all to know that their experience had been shared. His tiny eyelights darted back and forth as he tried to make sense of their situation. Sweat began to dot his skull as a growing foreboding began to weigh down on them both.
"did he look… real messed up in your dream?" He asked hesitantly after a moment.
All Toriel had to do was nod, and Sans' worsening anxiety was plain to see. She silently reached out to take his hand, hoping to steady him. But she couldn't pretend this wasn't potentially worth worrying about. Not after what had happened to her before…
"What do you think it could mean?" She asked softly.
He didn't answer her for a few moments, looking blankly off in the direction of the door again. He wrapped his free arm around himself a bit, digging his phalanges into the sleeves of his hoodie.
"i don't know…" He admitted, shakily. "but probably nothing good..."
A heavy silence hung between them as both considered the potential weight of what they'd just discovered. Was this all a bizarre, unsettling coincidence? Or was it a sign of something much darker… something neither of them wanted to even consider?
Before they could really give full focus to either of those options, a musical tone suddenly rang out from the bedroom, startling them both a bit. It took Toriel a moment to recognize that it was her morning alarm, signaling it was time to wake up and get ready for the day ahead.
Sans' expression softened in a sort of guilty relief, and he sighed softly as he took her paw.
"well, unless you wanna take the day off again, i guess wondering over old g will have to wait." He said, tone indicating that despite his nerves, he was leaving the choice up to her.
She hummed thoughtfully in her throat, an edge of stress to her tone. The alarm continued to sound again and again, and the annoyance of that finally made the decision for her. As much as she was concerned about this… she didn't want to miss another school day, nor let this be a reason to cancel their planned outing. She wouldn't let it go ignored… not like last time... but she wouldn't let it disrupt her day either if she could help it.
"I suppose so." She agreed softly. "We can discuss it when we get home tonight from the store."
He seemed to relax a little more as he nodded his acknowledgment of her answer, but she could still see the unease and fear lingering in the hazy lights of his eyes. This had really frightened him, more so than it had for her, and the reason why couldn't be more clear. They both had their histories with Gaster, but Sans' was beyond compare in the cruelty he'd suffered. Seeing as he was still holding on to her paw, she gently led him into the room with her as she went to shut off the awful din of the alarm.
Once silence had been restored, she knelt back down closer to Sans' level and gained his attention with a light touch against his cheekbone. He blinked as he was pulled out of his inner thoughts, but something in her gaze seemed to communicate what she was thinking. He deflated a little as he leaned into her touch, allowing her to run her thumb tenderly along the side of his skull. She kept it up for a few moments before pressing a little kiss between his eye sockets.
"Try not to fear, my love." She said, moving to take both of his small hands in her paws. "Whatever those dreams meant… Even in... the worst case... you have family here who will protect you."
Feeling a surge of protectiveness along with renewed vitriol towards the brothers' so called father, she quickly added on to her statement.
" I shall protect you." She vowed, narrowing her scarlet eyes somewhat.
There was a beat, then Toriel could feel a mixture of amusement and genuine gratitude emanating from his soul. He chuckled, regaining a true smile and squeezing her paws back.
"heh, those protective instincts really are kicking in huh?" He asked with a wink, before his expression softened again. "but… thanks tori. i appreciate it. i'll be okay."
With that said, he did step over to give her a hug, which she readily returned. She squeezed him tight for a few moments, worry washing over her soul. There was no way he wouldn't be stressing over this all day. And with the pressure of his upcoming fatherhood weighing on him as well, she was sure he wouldn't be what she'd consider "okay." Nonetheless, Sans was clearly handling this far better then the first time.
When they'd separated, he even had it in him to offer a rather genuine looking smile. It was no doubt in part fueled by the reminder of the little soul she was carrying, and he reached out and gave her stomach area a light pat.
"don't give your mom any more trouble today kiddo." He said, with another wink. "or else you're grounded."
She couldn't help but giggle at that, and playfully batted at him with a paw. The lighthearted quip was just what she needed to relax enough to fully focus on the present again. Leave it to him to make it so that they could leave such a rough start to the morning in a good mood.
They both directed their attention then on getting ready for the day, leaving the shared unsettling image of Sans' ghoulish, phantom father to be pushed to the back of their minds for the time being. It's effect on them lingered though, very much like a shadow, and she knew deep down that they likely hadn't experienced the last of it.
...
Despite how the day had started, the school day went just about as normally as it could have. Toriel saw no reason to tell her students of her pregnancy, and to her surprise, her children managed to keep it themselves as well. At least as far as she could tell. She didn't notice any increase in staring and whispering from the young humans and monsters. As for her staff however, that was a different story.
Alphys and Undyne had indeed managed to keep her secret, but both of them hadn't been as effective in hiding the fact they were keeping a secret. She'd been asked in passing by Torch and Benji as well as Bonnie if something was up with the two. By the time her group lunch break had rolled around, Toriel could practically feel the unasked question hanging over the room. To spare her friends from any further stressing, she decided to break the news herself then and there. After what she'd been through with telling Asgore, the prospect of the reveal no longer worried her too much.
There was the expected shock at first, a stunned silence as the majority of the group, understandably, assumed she must be telling a joke of some sort. But as that possibility fell away, Toriel was deeply grateful that the reactions rapidly become those of a congratulatory and even celebratory nature. She even had to remind them to keep their voices down, to avoid letting the children eating in the cafeteria down the hallway from hearing them. She was the recipient of many wonderful hugs, and Bonnie just about begged her to let her donate some hand me downs that she and her sister had from raising their own children. Other such kind offers were quick to follow, with just about everyone clearly eager to do something to help.
She was struck by the kindness of her friends, willing to do so much for her on such short notice. There was a silent, but notable feeling that they understood part of what drove her to do this, the nature of her immortality. She was even more grateful for their support in that regard, for she knew that privately it must be difficult for them to understand.
As touching as their generosity was, she let them know that she was planning to buy her child new things that day with her family, and there was a certain excitement over being able to do that again after so long. This time as a ordinary citizen, rather than royalty. Things would be so different, and she wanted to experience and understand that.
But she assured them that once it was closer to the child's arrival, she would be happy have what apparently was now called a "baby shower." Toriel was sure it would be a far more casual, familial affair then the comparable event she'd had when she was pregnant with Asriel, when the whole kingdom was indeed eager to "shower" her with gifts.
By the end of the day, she was feeling far better about everything then she expected to be. Things had gone well everywhere they needed to, both with sharing the big news and with the school's everyday activities. By the time she was waving her the last of her students goodbye for the day, her soul felt like it was floating on air. She'd even had to find explanations to explain to curious students why she was abruptly becoming joyfully misty eyed over what must have seemed to them as nothing at all.
Thankfully, she'd managed to regain her composure by the time she'd locked up the building and gathered up her family in preparation of their outing. Everyone seemed to share her cheery demeanor, no doubt having received their own congratulations from the staff. There was a weariness to Sans' eyelights to show that was even more true for him, but it was matched with a genuine smile that far overpowered that. She was able to consider that perhaps her earlier worries about him being stressed all day over their bizarre dreams were unfounded.
They all piled into the van after that and headed out to the store Toriel had been told would be best for shopping for the baby. Usually she made a point to shop at the local monster-run businesses that were still trying to fully establish themselves in Newer Home, but not many had much in the way of baby supplies. She was sure that would soon change with the predicted boom in monster children being born, but for now they'd have to head into one of the large stores in Ebott City. It mostly catered to humans, understandably, but many things it supplied could still be used by both species.
One thing she hadn't taken into account was just how large the store was. Something she was reminded of as they pulled up to it's parking lot. She had never seen anything like it before coming to the surface again. Newer Home had only small shops in comparison. This was larger than her family's castle! And understandably so, as it seemed to carry just about anything one could ever want. From food to clothing to rideable lawn mowers.
She and the rest of her family all spent a little time staring up at the great looming structure upon exiting the van, admittedly a touch overwhelmed by the sight. They'd all ventured into the city before, but never entered a store like this. Humans funneled in and out of the entrance without so much as looking up, showing just how normal it was to them in comparison. Only a few monsters were among them, standing out like sore thumbs.
The usual touch of anxiety set in over the fact they were the among only monsters around, but Toriel did her best to ignore it, not wanting to let something like that deter her from enjoying this. They were drawing a few eyes, but none of the humans around looked bothered. Surely by now, seeing a group of monsters wasn't anything that should turn heads.
She locked the van up and refocused, gaining everyone's attention by clearing her throat.
"Well everyone, here we are." She said, bringing her paws together. "This is a rather large store, it could be easy to get lost, so everyone please stick together."
There were resounding nods from the others, and Frisk was quick to take her paw. Papyrus followed their cue and took his brother's hand, who accepted it with a shrug as he slipped his free hand into his hoodie pocket. Flowey just hummed halfheartedly in acknowledgement from his place sticking out of Frisk's backpack.
She noticed then that he was chewing on his leafy appendages, grumbling in annoyance. When he realized she was watching him, he stopped and put his leaves behind him, avoiding her gaze.
"Are you alright, my child?" She asked, tilting her head a bit.
He let out another low sound of irritation, especially as everyone turned to look at him.
"M' fine ." He hissed, before sighing and scratching at one leaf with the recently formed tiny digits of the other. "My leaves are just kinda itchy. It's probably this stupid gross city air."
He let out a few dramatic coughs as to demonstrate his point, and Toriel felt the usual rush of concern grip her. She never remembered Flowey complaining about his leaves being itchy before. She had no idea what something like that could mean, or if it could possibly be linked to his subtle change in appearance. She was going to say something, but Papyrus chimed in first, having been overwhelmed with excitement since the moment they'd arrived.
"OH, I'M JUST SO EXCITED!" He exclaimed, eye sockets sparkling. "WHAT IS FIRST ON OUR LIST OF THINGS TO GET TORIEL?"
Toriel blinked and briefly looked between her son and Papyrus, but found she couldn't ignore the skeleton's genuine excitement. She'd let the issue of Flowey's leaves go for now, but she'd be keeping an eye on him whenever she could.
"Oh, I actually did not think of making an actual list…" She admitted to Papyrus as they started walking towards the building, a little sheepishly. "Now that I think about it… I hardly ever had to shop for supplies myself when I had Asriel. The whole kingdom gifted us more supplies than we ever knew what to do with."
Papyrus didn't seem phased by her apparent lack of foresight. He even seemed to grin a little more as he straightened up proudly and pulled a piece of paper out from his battle body.
"NO PROBLEM AT ALL! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAME PREPARED!" He assured her, giving the paper a flick to straighten it out in front of him. "I MADE ONE OF MY OWN JUST IN CASE! MY FIRST STEP IN BEING THE GREATEST OF UNCLES!"
"and the coolest." Sans added from his place beside him. "that's real awesome of you bro."
"Incredibly thoughtful." Toriel agreed with a nod. "Well in that case, where does your list indicate we should go first then?"
Papyrus looked all the more exuberant to be asked to lead the way. He looked over his list with narrowed sockets and then tapped the top of it.
"HMM… WELL WE COULD START AT THE SECTION FOR BABY CLOTHES. AND THEN LOOP AROUND TO GO LOOK AT POTENTIAL CRIBS AND SUCH. OH! AND THE TOYS AND CUTE LITTLE BLANKETS!" He suggested excitedly as they arrived at the front entrance of the place.
"Sounds like a good plan to start with." Toriel was quick to affirm him, but lost her voice to the sight before her.
The store building loomed tall in front of them, even bigger now that they were up close. With bright neon signs and a name that stretched across the whole of it. It was quite a new sight to all of them. But even that could only briefly halt Papyrus' excitement. He rushed up to the automatic doors, trailing his brother behind him who struggled to keep up.
Toriel followed after them, giving Sans a sympathetic look when he looked back in her direction. By the time Toriel had also stepped into the store's entrance area, Papyrus was already rushing back to her with a cart.
"I GOT THE LARGEST ONE, JUST IN CASE!" He declared, displaying it proudly before turning to look out at the store's interior before them. "AND WOWIE, THIS PLACE IS AMAZING! WHAT A TREMENDOUS VARIETY OF THINGS I NEVER KNEW I WANTED!"
Toriel turned to look as well, along with Frisk and Flowey. The impressive size of the place certainly did not stop at the outside. The main shopping floor was sprawling and filled with humans along with a few monsters here and there perusing the vast array of items for sale. Toriel wasn't sure where to look first, with flashy signs and advertisements everywhere vying for their attention. All of them were briefly left motionless again, a touch overwhelmed by the sight.
"never seen any shop this big." Sans said, though it was low enough that she felt it may have been just a statement to himself.
Frisk seemed equally caught up in being intimidated and amazed all at once. They tightened their grip on her paw, but they remained determined all the same. Flowey said nothing, but showed the same interest if a bit more reserved. Once more, it was Papyrus who pulled them all out of it, too caught up in their reason for being here to think about the impressiveness of the place.
"AH, I SEE THE SIGN FOR BABY ITEMS!" He exclaimed, pointing at a hanging sign depicting a human baby bottle. "FOLLOW ME, FAMILY! NYEH HEH HEH!"
With that, he was hurrying the cart and his brother towards the section in question, zipping by some bewildered humans in the process. Toriel gave them a apologetic smile as she followed after the skeleton brothers at a much more reasonable pace. Some of their looks lingered on her, but she kept her back turned, not wanting to see their potentially negative reactions.
Her surroundings also did a good job at keeping her attention. There was so much to see, so many options of products, food, and clothing that she'd never seen before. Part of her wanted to stop here and there just to take in all in better, a sentiment shared by her children who seemed equally intrigued. Had Frisk never been to a place like this before their fall? She briefly considered asking them, but any mention of the time before meeting her tended to cause them stress, so she decided against it.
Once they had arrived at the collections of aisles beneath the sign, they all had a chance to better pause and marvel at the sheer number of baby related items displayed on the shelves. Everything from strollers to cribs to bassinets to human specific things such as diapers. And it all had a lovely rainbow of pastel colors and endearing cute designs. It brought back a rush of memories for her that stirred a great warmth in her soul, and her eyes sparkled a bit as she took it all in.
Still, exciting as it was. It was a bit overwhelming as well. They were spoiled for choice here, choices she didn't really have to make with Asriel. How could she be sure she was choosing wisely? There was a certain level of guaranteed quality when it came to the baby supplies handmade for the royal family. The same may not be true of the mass produced products around her. But if it was what every average citizen used for their children, she would just have to be willing to give it a shot. Mindfully of course.
"Goodness… I never expected there would be so many options…" She said, sweeping her gaze across everything again. "Humans certainly have a more varied market for such things, do they not?"
She looked down at Sans as she asked that question, who had come to join her in assessing their sea of choices. He too looked more than a little intimidated by the sight before them, but he chimed in with a suggestion before she could even get herself focused again.
"why don't we do a quick flyby where all the clothes are to start, you point out the ones that catch your eye, and we'll take a better look at those in particular once we get to the end." He suggested, before slipping his hands into his pockets. "we still have a lot of time before the kiddo gets here after all, no need to get everything today."
His answer helped her relax a bit, as they so often did. He was right after all. Though the choices were aplenty here, and the store clearly desired its customers to load their carts with as much as possible, there was no need to purchase everything they'd need today. On top of that, some things she did feel the need to create herself, especially clothing wise. With that in mind, tackling the task ahead suddenly seemed a lot less daunting.
"GOOD THINKING BROTHER!" Papyrus chimed in, echoing the sentiment. "TOSS THEM IN THE CART AS WE GO TORIEL, I WILL REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE EACH ONE IS SO WE CAN RETURN IT THERE IF WE DECIDE AGAINST IT."
She looked over at the younger skeleton gratefully, feeling a bit impressed as well. Papyrus proved himself time and time again to be a monster of many talents, this being no exception. With all the other skills he'd demonstrated in the past, she had no doubt he could do what he said he could.
There was always a part of her that wondered if things like Papyrus' sharp memory and unusual physics defying powers originated from Gaster's experiments. But she wouldn't allow that thought today, not with what had happened that morning still hovering over her and her dear skeleton. At least from the look of things, no one had caught onto her brief unease.
"you're the best bro." Sans praised his brother, giving him a playful nudge with his elbow.
Papyrus grinned confidently and laid a gloved hand upon his chest.
"WHY OF COURSE, AND SOON TO BE BEST UNCLE!" He proudly reminded them.
Toriel had a feeling she'd be hearing that reminder plenty of the next few months. But it was one she was all too happy to have repeated to her. She followed after him towards the racks of baby clothes, allowing herself to feel that rush of excitement again. The rows of adorable tiny clothing options were soon within her sights, endlessly endearing in their size and in the funny phrases on them. On everything from onesies to socks meant for the smallest of feet. Or likely paws, in their child's case.
She eventually followed up with Papyrus' advice and began to pick out the things that caught her eye. Onesies with little sheep on them, halloween themed baby sized socks from the discounted rack decorated with bones, tiny mittens and winter hats, even a few pairs of shorts. She purposefully picked out a few that were similar to the kind Sans wore, if only for the novelty. And of course, she got a little rainbow of tiny socks. She left out the shoes by habit, never having worn them herself.
She was confident that, at least while their child was small, they could fit into these human-intended clothes. Even if she would have to potentially modify tail and horn holes into them at some point, depending on what physical traits they inherited from her. If they grew as quickly as Asriel had, perhaps they wouldn't be as small for as long as it would be for a human. But if Sans' worries about their child's size being more aligned with his own ended up being true in some way…
Her thoughts didn't have much time to wander, as due to Papyrus' suggested method, they had already reached the end of the long aisle of clothing. Frisk had been waiting for them there holding a few clothing suggestions of their own. Flowey hadn't bothered to pitch in it seemed, but he watched them all as though they were some mildly amusing spectacle.
Upon reaching Frisk, Papyrus stopped with cart in a dramatic fashion, perfectly aligned with where the aisle came to an end. His brother came ambling up behind him, looking a little winded from the the quick pace of it all. Once they were all together again, they all gathered around the cart to look over what had been selected. A variable wardrobe of pastel colors and cutesy designs stared back up at them. It was more than they needed, admittedly. Especially at this stage. But Toriel could already tell she was going to have trouble deciding what not to keep.
As Papyrus critically compared two colorful onesies for their potential "coolness", Toriel noticed Frisk showing Sans something in particular they'd picked out. It didn't take long for whatever it was to make the lights of his eyes sparkle.
"tori, check this one out." He said, turning so that she could see what he was holding better.
Upon seeing it, she couldn't help but giggle a bit. It was a black onesie with patterning on it to make look like the wearer was a little skeleton. And best of all, it displayed the greatly humorous words "bad to the bone" on the front in a goofy cartoonish font. While the outfit was likely another leftover from the humans' halloween collection, it was hard not to find it perfect for them.
"c'mon t, we gotta." Sans said through a enthused chuckle, looking at the tiny piece of clothing fondly. "it's got a lil hood and everything."
With that, both he and Frisk seemed to be imploring her with their looks alone, and she found it most difficult to resist it when either one of them gave her that look. Combined together, they were a force to be reckoned with, even with her usual strong resolve. Perhaps if they had been asking for something less agreeable, it would be a different story. But she wasn't about to object to something as cute as the tiny sweatshirt. Already she could picture how their little one might look in it, and it was an image too wonderful not to give it a chance to be reality.
"Very well, you two." She said in a slightly teasing voice, taking and looking over the the tiny hoodie as the two exchange a pleased look. "It does seem perfect, does it not? I am sure they will love it."
Once she ensured it was soft and durable enough for her liking, she added it to the cart with the rest of their things. She then gave Frisk's hair an affectionate tousle.
"Thank you, my child" She said, wanting to give praise where it was due.
Frisk smiled brightly, but shook their head and raised their hands to sign to her.
(Chara picked it, actually.) They clarified.
Toriel blinked at that, surprised. Not as much as she would have been had Frisk indicated it was Flowey who'd chosen it. She looked to him and he gave his silent confirmation with a somewhat put-upon nod. She felt a warm smile stretch across her face as she gave her child's hair yet another ruffle.
"Well thank you then Chara." She praised them. "You always did have a wonderful eye for things like this, my little artist."
Even though not currently in control, Chara' influence was enough that upon receiving the compliment, Frisk's cheeks flushed the soft pink that had always seemed to color the first fallen human's face. It was harder to see due to Frisk's darker skin tone, but it couldn't escape Toriel's eye.
After that, both her human children seemed to be less hesitant to participate, and things slowed down to a more manageable pace as they finished sorting through the clothing items she'd picked out. Most of it was kept, as Toriel figured having a decent start to their wardrobe would be better then to be picky. But a few were sent back to the hangers for unsatisfactory material, size or simply because they just didn't feel right to Toriel upon second glance. She knew it was a balancing act between being picky while also being reasonable in what the child would need.
She applied those same principles to the other items they looked at as well, with everyone offering up their own suggestions and pointing out things that caught their eye. It made the actual act of choosing things like a bassinet or baby toys more difficult, but by the end she felt more satisfied in her decision than she likely would have alone. As they continued down all the aisles set aside for infant related products, the cart continued to fill and Papyrus crossed more and more things off his list.
Each little item felt special to Toriel, and she took a moment with every one to imagine her little one using it somehow and being happy. It all filled her with a wonderful warmth and a new excitement that buzzed within her, one she hadn't experienced in decades. It made it all the more difficult to maintain responsibility and only purchase the essentials. Usually she was the one reminding others of that, but today she was fighting the urge herself.
Things like the crib and the stroller were agreed to be saved for later, as they already had quite a lot of things to load into the van at this point. Though they did have fun looking at the options regardless. None of them were quite as fancy as what Asriel had, but the humbleness of them proved more appealing to Toriel anyway. She made a mental note of one painted a soft white color that she would seek out again later when the time came.
Eventually they decided to leave the aisle of baby supplies before they ended up filling the cart entirely. Since they were already there and the store had more options than anything in Newer Home currently could provide, they decided to get some groceries while they were there as well. Due to the massive size of the place, they decided to split up to cover more ground. Papyrus was going to want to head straight to the pasta section after all, and wherever they kept the oatmeal with the little dinosaur eggs.
The children wanted to accompany him, perhaps sensing he'd be easier to convince to buy them some extra sweets on the side. She allowed it regardless though, figuring Papyrus was responsible enough not to let them go completely overboard. She'd still checking when they got back though…
She also agreed in part as it would allow her and Sans to discuss all they'd bought together, as well as process the emotions the whole situation had summoned. Looking at all these things that would one day be used by their child… it was another reminder of just how real this was. Each step they took in preparing made the idea of their impending parenthood more tangible. It was an exciting feeling no doubt, but one that renewed some nerves for both of them as well.
Sans expressed as such as they paused outside the aisles of food, looking over their cart of supplies. He was clearly worn out by the whole experience, but was nonetheless unable able to banish the genuine, bright smile from his face. Seeing that from him was downright infectious, and soon the both of them were caught up in their usual banter of joking around mixed in with some slightly more grounded talk. But nothing that was allowed to get too serious. This outing was meant to be fun, an exciting first opportunity to shape what their life would soon be. They could certainly figure out the details of it all once they got home.
They explored the aisles of food and made puns out of all the human brands names they'd never seen before. Some with results that had them giggling enough to get quite a few looks from the other human shoppers. Even when she tried to resist or muffle it with her paw, he'd always find some other food with a silly name that would break her composure. As embarrassing as it sometimes was… she wasn't sure she'd want an outing with him to go any other way.
Eventually they found themselves in the refrigerated section, where they both indulged in plenty of cheesy puns, milking them for all they were worth. While she looked through the options of cheese slices she could use for future school lunches, she noticed out of the corner of her eye as Sans passed in front of that a human teenager who was manning a sample table. He had messy orange hair, a mouth full of braces, and tired eyes that showed he really would rather be doing anything else.
As Sans stepped in front of him though, he forced himself to stand straight and put on a weak, forced sort of smile. It reminded her of how Danny… or "Burgerpants", as was apparently his nickname, would often look when he spoke about his old job at Mettaton's burger restaurant.
"Hello, uh…" The human began to speak to Sans, but then narrowed his eyes as he looked him over.
"...Sir?" He finally finished, smiling uncertainly before clearing his throat and gesturing to the large wheel of cheese sitting on his table. "Would you like to try some of our new organic local cheese?"
The forced nature of his smile carried over to the forced cheerfulness in his voice. Sans just chuckled in an almost sympathetic tone and shrugged his shoulders.
"heh, sure, cheese tends to make any day cheddar ." He said, turning his head back towards her with a playful wink.
She snorted and poorly muffled another round of giggles into her paw. She continued looking through the shelves she was at, but kept some of her attention directed at the exchange happening behind her.
"Haha… ha..." The teen pretended to laughed in the same painfully forced manner. "It's uh… actually camembert."
With that, he moved to cut Sans a slice, pulling out a small knife from within his sample cart. Toriel caught the gleam of its blade under the harsh artificial lights out of the corner of her eye.
The next thing Toriel knew, there was a loud crashing sound that seemed to shatter the peaceful doldrum of the shopping center. She jumped in surprise and whipped around towards where it had come from. But even before her eyes had caught sight of the source of the sound, she knew in her soul what had happened.
Sans was sitting amongst a now broken set of shelves directly across from the sample cart, having jumped back into them in a flash of panic. Cartons of eggs and bottles of coffee creamer had burst open and spilled all over him. Yet more had been splashed across the floor below and was still dribbling down, making the sight look like some sort of crime scene. And most striking of all was Sans' eyelight blazing away, flashing between its alternating colors in a way it hadn't done in a long time.
All was eerily silent for a few moments, apart from the dripping of the still spilling creamer and the faint, cheesy music playing in the store. Even Sans himself was silent, not daring to even breathe or shudder as he stared down the human holding the knife. Sweat poured down his skull and he was positively rigid. Even from a distance, his magical aura radiated a deep and confused fear that seemed to permeate the air itself. Toriel couldn't know exactly what he was seeing, but she knew it certainly wasn't the reality in front of him.
It was the young human who broke out of the shock first, unaware of the true weight of the situation.
"Woah, hey man, you alright?!" He asked, dropping the knife on the table and rounding his sample cart in an attempt to try and help.
Before Toriel could warn him he rushed over and offered out a hand to the skeleton, and she felt her soul seize up a bit within her as she feared he would promptly be sent flying across the store as Sans took hold of his soul.
But he didn't. Sans hadn't fully lost himself this time. As she hurried to his side, she realized his eyelight's blaze had already began to peter out. Once the human had dropped the knife, Sans had snapped out of it. It had been the initial shock that had sent him scrambling back into the shelves, but it hadn't taken much to bring him back to reality again. That was a big difference in comparison to the first few times she'd witnessed his panic attacks, but she knew that fact, no matter how reassuring, would be the last thing on Sans' mind at the moment.
His weak, normal eyelights returned, if only a fraction of their usual size, and he blinked up at the human for a moment. Then he slowly looked down at the mess he was in, quite literally. Finally he turned his gaze to Toriel next to him. She could see recognition in his gaze, increasing every second.
As full realization for him set in though, Sans still succumbed to the lingering panic and fled. Before she could say anything or reach out to touch him, in a brief flash of blinding light, he'd vanished, leaving the mess behind in his wake. Toriel had seen his shortcut coming and shut her eyes on impulse, but the human teen cursed in surprise and was rubbing his eyes when Toriel reopened her own.
"Oh geez, did I do something?" He asked, sounding truly concerned, and oddly unphased by the sudden act of teleportation he'd witnessed. "Is he gonna be alright? He didn't just... vaporize or something did he?"
His lack of a more negative reaction surprised her, and she turned to look at him more directly. Her soul was still stirring rapidly in her chest, but she forced herself to calm down and offer a reply. Becoming panicked herself wouldn't help this situation.
"It… it is alright, do not blame yourself." She said, setting a still spilling carton of creamer upright again. "He will be okay. He just teleported somewhere. He… he has an issue with knives is all."
She fixed a few things on the shelf as best she could, at least to the point nothing was actively adding to the mess anymore. Meanwhile her mind was racing, trying to figure out where Sans' sudden shortcut could have taken him. He made it clear to her in the past that it was an ability that required focus to pull off correctly, so if he executed one in a panic…
The thudding of feet in the distance signaled that more humans, likely more staff, were rushing over to assess the damage. Toriel internally winced at the idea that this be another dent in monster-human relations, another incident the more bigoted humans would surely hold over their heads. She didn't have time at the moment to deal with their inevitable anger and accusations, she needed to find Sans.
"I will pay for all this, of course." She said to the human teen quickly, rising to her feet. "You can tell your bosses that. But I need to go find him first."
The human blinked then just nodded, looking rather bewildered by the whole situation. She dug around in her purse and dropped a few G into his hand.
"That should cover it, and keep one for yourself as a tip." She said rapidly, before turning and rushing away.
She did catch his eyes growing wide at the sight of the golden coins, but she was long gone by the time he could have said anything. Halfway down the aisle though, she nearly collided with Papyrus. She made eye contact with him, and just from the expression on his face she knew he too had witnessed what had happened. Papyrus wasted no time in speaking up, a rare full seriousness to his expression.
"HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN FAR, NOT WHEN HE WAS IN DISTRESS." He said, pointing in the direction of the toy and outdoor activities aisles. "YOU CHECK OVER THERE, AND I'LL CHECK OVER WHERE THE CHILDREN ARE."
She followed his gaze then to where Frisk was standing with Flowey amongst the potted plants that filled with nursery section of the store. They looked confused and concerned, which made Toriel believe they hadn't witnessed the whole of what had happened. After all, if they had, they of all people would know what had fueled it. There was still guilt there though, showing that they had some idea of what had occurred. Flowey just gazed around as though halfheartedly looking for where Sans had disappeared off too. But even he seemed somewhat unnerved by the whole thing.
Toriel made brief eye contact with Frisk, communicating a silent understanding before she turned to go search in the area Papyrus had suggested. As much as she'd rather them come with her, she knew they'd be okay with Papyrus, and would try and search on their own regardless of what she said. Frisk may be well behaved most of the time, but there was little swaying them when they were determined to do something. She hoped though, deep down, that they wouldn't be the one to find Sans after what had just happened. Depending on how Sans was feeling at that moment, they may be the last person he wished to see.
Toriel wandered the aisles for a short time, trying to call for him without making too much of a scene. The incident had already caused a few humans to start shooting them dirty looks here and there, but she did her best to ignore them. She scanned the shelves of toys and looked inside tent displays that were set up, but found no trace of him. With his small size and the enormity of the place, it made the prospect of finding him feel a little hopeless. Who knows where his panicked shortcut had taken him?
Something told her that he was close though, some vague feeling that was hard to pin down, but that she trusted nonetheless. Perhaps it was all in her head, but she followed that feeling regardless as she continued her search. Whether it was coincidence or something more, she couldn't be sure, but that feeling eventually led her to a tower of large plastic balls near the center of the toy section.
It was like a tall cage filled with balls of multiple colors and sizes, something she imagined most children would find hard to resist asking their guardians for. But it wasn't the colorful nature of the toys that had caught her eye. It was the fact that the balls were ever so subtly shifting, as though there were something inside that was moving. Or rather… something on top.
It was high enough up that she couldn't see if that was the case, but judging from the way the balls were moving it seemed to be likely. It was certainly big enough to potentially be where he'd ended up, and it would make sense for his magic to want to take him somewhere up high and perceivably safe. She acted on that hunch, stepping over to the tower and raising her voice enough to be heard.
"Sans dear… are you up there?" She asked, ignoring the looks from some passing human children.
There was a long silence, to the point she started to feel silly. But then the tower of balls shifted again and she heard a faint, all too familiar sigh.
"no." Sans' voice came from above, tone low and irritated.
Toriel blinked, surprised by his response, but hit with a flood of relief that he was indeed there. She stepped closer, trying to see around the colorful spheres to catch a glimpse of him atop of the structure.
"Are you alright? I saw what happened…" She said, ensuring to keep her voice gentle and calm. "Would you come down so we can talk about it?"
There was another shifting of the ball tower, an almost comical sight as the plastic toys rubbed against one another with a rather amusing noise. But Sans did not appear.
"can't." He replied curtly. "i'm stuck. and i'm too… i can't really focus enough to take another shortcut right now…"
Toriel tilted her head a bit in confusion.
"Stuck?" She questioned, pushing some of the toys aside and moving her head in, allowing her to finally catch a glimpse of him above.
He had likely teleported right on top of the tower, but the momentum had caused even his light form to sink into the shifting mass. Only his upper torso seemed to still be free, while she caught sight of his dangling legs hanging a little bit above her.
"Oh I see. Hold on then, I will come and get you." She said, briefly assessing the situation before moving to do so.
It was no doubt a silly sight as she climbed the outer structure a bit as to more easily reach him. It groaned a bit under her weight, but held firm enough that she was confident she wouldn't bring it down with her. Plenty of passers by paused to look at her oddly, but she didn't pay them any mind. Knowing most city humans, they would have stared regardless of what she was doing.
She managed to get a hold of him and after a bit of tugging and moving plastic balls aside, pulled him free. She held him close to her chest as she hopped down from the tower, not caring about the egg and creamer stains she was likely getting on her as a result. Though part of her just wanted to keep him in her arms and comfort him, she knew he may not exactly be in the mood. She gently set him down on his feet, and only then could she get a good look at him.
He kept his gaze turned downwards and was quick to pull his hood up over his skull, but there was no hiding the stains all over him. The blue of his hoodie was marred by splashes of white, and the soft gray hood itself was sullied by the mess as well. Even his slippers hadn't escape unscathed. But to her relief, he didn't seem to be injured at all. The sight certainly didn't stop the staring from passers by, and Toriel worried about those people who ran the store coming after them again. The last thing Sans needed right now was to be yelled at about this, but making them understand that would likely be a lost cause.
"thanks t…" He said quietly, pulling her attention back down to him.
She felt a pang of sympathy for him in her soul, noting the apologetic tone that had overtaken his previous irritated one.
"You are welcome, dear." She said, laying a paw against his back and giving it a gentle rub. "Are you hurt at all? It looked like you hit those shelves pretty hard…"
He simply shook his head with soft sound of dismissal. That worried her some. Not because she believed he was lying, but because it was a level of avoidance she hadn't seen from him in a while. It was only then through the touch of her paw on his back that she could really feel how stirred up and unsettled his soul still was from all that, and the fact that he ever so slightly trembling. There was the expected shame there too, which was what was keeping him currently shut done more than anything.
"How about we go sit and talk outside for a bit?" She suggested gently, offering him her paw. "Papyrus is with the children and I can let him know you are alright. We will not go far in any case."
More than anything in that moment she just wanted to get him out of there, especially as more humans stopped to look their way. She could only imagine how she would feel if she was in his shoes at that moment. Seeing as he wasn't already simply taking a shortcut home to avoid dealing with the situation further, then she had reason to worry he was more affected by all this than he was letting on.
He still didn't lift his gaze to look at her, keeping his head low in general so that the shadow covered his face. But he did slowly reach up and take her paw in return, giving it a brief, tight squeeze.
"alright…" He conceded softly.
Toriel was happy to take that as an affirmation for the moment, and didn't waste time in beginning to walk with him to the exit. She chose the less conspicuous one near the back, figuring it should keep the level of people who spotted and continued to look at them as thought they some unsightly curiosities to a minimum. As they walked, she pulled out her phone and quickly tapped out a text to Papyrus with the claw on her thumb.
(Dear Papyrus,
I found him, he is alright. I am going to go sit outside and talk with him for a bit. Could you keep an eye on Frisk and Flowey while I do? I will be back with you shortly.
Sincerely,
Toriel.)
A playful chime indicated it had been sent and she moved to pocket the phone. But before even a minute had passed, it buzzed back. A bit dumbfounded, she picked it up to see a return text from Papyrus, written in his usual excited caps lock.
(FANTASTIC NEWS! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! LEAVE THE UNCLE-ING TO ME! I SHALL GO RESCUE OUR ABANDONED CART AND FINISH UP THE SHOPPING WITH FRISK AND FLOWEY. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY TO LEAVE!)
She breathed a soft sigh of relief, resolving that she needed to once again find some way to repay Papyrus for his constant help. She honestly wasn't sure what she and Sans would do without him at this point. She lifted her clawed thumb to begin typing a reply, but before she could, another text popped up on the screen.
(AND PLEASE, TELL SANS IT WASN'T HIS FAULT AND THAT WE AREN'T UPSET WITH HIM)
She blinked at that, struck by the compassion of the words. She glanced over at Sans as they walked and gave his hand a little squeeze before typing her reply.
(Of course, thank you so much, my friend.)
With that, she decidedly focused her attention back on the situation at hand. Now that it was all over, it was easier to understand what had happened. It had been a long time since Sans had had an episode like that. Especially in a public place like this. That fact had to be weighing on him just as much as everything else.
Thankfully, they were able to slip out the back entrance without any sign of the store's management coming after them. The chilly air of late winter met them as they pushed through the doors, and Toriel pulled up the neck of her sweater a bit. The sight that met them was that of another parking lot, this one being far less populated than the front one. It wasn't exactly an ideal place to settle one's mind, but there were a bench under a small cluster of barren trees nearby that looked to be away from main lot enough to allow them some privacy.
They made their way over to it without a word, taking careful steps across the snow laden concrete. Upon reaching it, the old bench groaned a little under Toriel's weight, but managed to hold firm. Had its feet not been bolted into the ground, she was sure Sans' side would be lifted up into the air. If he were more in his usual joking mood, she may have pointed out as much for a laugh. For now though, jokes didn't seem all that appropriate.
For a moment, both were silent and just watched the occasional faint flurries of falling snow. They were hints of what was likely to come, signaling they'd probably get another heavy snowfall overnight. Toriel touched her stomach lightly and let her fire magic well up just enough to warm her paw, subconsciously wanting to ensure the little one within her didn't grow cold. As was now a pleasant routine, she felt their faint magic stirring in return. It helped in her confidence in facing this, and she cleared her throat before turning to speak to the skeleton beside her.
"That young man at the sample station wished to apologize." She began, speaking gently. "He was quite understanding, even if I was not exactly specific."
Sans glanced at her out of the corner of his sockets, expression weary and difficult to read. He seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of being fully pulled in this conversation. But in line with his continual progress, he didn't try to laugh it off or change the subject. Like or not, these moments of talking through their issues was a normal thing for them now. Moreso before at the start of their relationship, but continuing to be necessary from time to time. And given both of their histories… Toriel doubted they would ever truly stop being needed. He let out a heavy sigh, sinking down on the bench a bit.
"i still wrecked a bunch of stuff, and made a damn scene." He pointed out, a strained mix of emotions in his tone. "you're going to foot the bill for that, aren't you?"
She shook her head dismissively, keeping a soft smile on her face.
"It is no trouble, my dear, the damage looked a lot worse than it was." She assured him.
When that didn't seem to actually offer him any comfort, she quickly continued, reaching over at the same time to pick some gooey remnants of egg off his hood.
"We are not hurting for money at the moment, a little extra spent in this case is no issue. Do not worry about it." She said, flicking it away.
Sans didn't say anything in return for a while, staring down at the snow covered concrete below as Toriel continued to pick whatever meager amount of the mess off of him she could. The human intended bench was high enough that his slippered feet hung a bit rather than touch the ground. It somehow only added to his sorry appearance.
"i thought i was over this…" He finally said, causing her to pause and focus on him again. "why did it still affect me like that? it just… i wasn't ready for it at all."
Her soul ached for him upon hearing that, but she wasn't sure what exactly to say in return. There was much she wanted to say, but whether or not it was what he needed to hear was another thing entirely. She'd have to go with her gut and hope for the best.
"My dear, you truly you have made great progress. Please do not doubt that." She assured him. "But as I have said before, healing is not a straight shot. It is... like a winding road with plenty of obstacles, one that no map could ever truly guide you through."
She paused, wondering if the metaphor was really the best way to address this. She decided to leave it at that and moved on to being more direct.
"Anyway, it is not your fault, love. These things can happen. As frustrating as it is... your past fears are likely to still affect you in certain circumstances for a long time. Sometimes worse than others… Things like that are incredibly difficult to fully move past, especially with what you endured."
She gained a somewhat faraway look in her eyes, casting her own mind back.
"I doubt I need to remind you that I too am still sometimes affected by the things that echo the traumas I have endured in the past… even after all the centuries I have lived. And though I too have made efforts to better reconcile with everything I have been through… I am not free of the scars they have left on me. I may never be completely. But... that is okay."
It was all things she'd said before, but it was moments like this that she felt he needed reminding that he wasn't the only one still struggling with things like this. She leaned over and carefully drew him into a hug, smelly, sticky mess and all. She gave him a tight squeeze and settled her chin atop his skull.
"Do not be so hard on yourself, everything will be fine." She said softly, letting her eyes fall shut for a moment.
He was quiet again for a few moments, the air filled with the distant chatter of customers inside the store and the noisy rumble of the nearby motorway. All of it was pleasantly muffled by the now softly falling snow. Finally he pressed into her embrace, even if he kept his hands in his hoodie pockets. Something shifted in the emotions emanating from his soul, as they seemed to clear up a little. Like a shaft of sunlight penetrating through layers of clouds.
"heh, you know… some people may not find all that very reassuring." He joked weakly, but there was lightness there that hadn't been present before.
He turned his head to press his face into the soft fur of her neck, letting out another, less weighty sigh.
"but thanks t, i know what you meant." He murmured, voice slightly muffled.
She managed a smile and held him close again, feeling the last lingering bits of stirred up magic begin to even out within him. Based on what she could feel, they were all very lucky this incident hadn't resulted in a wall of bone attacks or a few angry blasters bursting on to the scene. It spoke to Sans' improvement in handling such things, but it was a reminder of how delicate the situation had truly been.
There was a time where Sans could be wholly unaffected by such things, where he could even watch his loved ones be dusted and feel little. Indeed, one could say he spent much of his life that way, with what could be called his true self deeply buried and rarely revealing itself. But things weren't like that anymore, and she prayed they never would be again. It would be far worse to see him reduced to that once more. But with his choice to work towards improvement came risks like these, and though things had been improving, clearly they both still had a long road ahead of them. She felt a need to offer more than just placating words at this point.
It was a… somewhat avoided subject between them. But this felt like a sign that it was time to address it.
"We can think of some ways that might help you stay grounded in those moments." She said, moving so she could face him again. "But… it may be time for us to consider finding a real therapist… for both of us."
He blinked at that, clearly taken off guard by the suggestion. Various emotions briefly flashed through his eyelights before he shut his sockets and chuckled in a sarcastic tone.
"you think any ordinary shrink is going to believe what we've been through?" He asked, shrugging dismissively. "we'd have to destroy their mental state in order for them to even understand ours."
She worried her lip with her fangs, unable to think of a quick retort to that. Still, she felt the issue was too important to simply back down from right away.
"You have a point…" She conceded, quietly. "But we may just need to find someone who is... not any ordinary shrink. And… work on figuring out how to explain this all to someone in a way that can make sense. We may even need to make it something of a white lie, or a lie by omission, but in a way that would still allow them to understand… some measure of the situation. Enough in order to offer some form of advice."
He still looked skeptical about the idea, and even a little defensive. He'd been testy about the idea of seeing a therapist in the past, and she could hardly blame him for that given his set of circumstances. It had taken a lot of careful work and patience on her part to get him to open up to her. The idea of him doing that with a total stranger felt about as likely as him running a marathon. No matter how she phrased it, it was doubtful she could get him to easily change his mindset on the matter. Though she did notice his expression soften a bit as he glanced over at her middle again, and a new sort of worry shimmered in his eyelights.
She reached over and laid her paw on his shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
"It is just something to think about." She assured him, allowing the subject to be dropped for now. "We will figure out what to do."
He hummed softly in acknowledgement, staring back down at his slippered feet. There was an evident relief on his face that he wouldn't have to discuss the idea further, but it was obvious that the new element of the baby had changed how he viewed it. She didn't need to say anything about the newly raised stakes that the impending arrival of their little one brought to the table. Toriel knew he would have a lot of thinking to do, not only about what was best for him and his own mental health, but also for their child. And those were things she couldn't decide for him. He would need to sort them out for himself in the end.
That fact, on top of the fact that the mess sticking to his clothing was starting to develop an odor, led her to offer a different suggestion.
"Do you think you can get yourself home? It may be best for you to go relax for a bit… plus a shower and a change of clothes might help." She said, shooting him an amused grin. "Even if you still look egg-celent."
The pun took a moment to register, but once it did it did its job. He chuckled in a way that was warm and genuine as he brushed a bit more of the dried yolk and eggshell fragments off himself. She shared in that quiet laughter, and there was a sense that, while the seriousness of the situation was not lost, they were at the point they could joke about it a little. It would likely always be one their first steps in coping with things.
"yeah. should work fine now." He said, sitting up a little more. "guess i'll meet you guys back at the house then…"
He paused, then continued in a softer voice.
"...sorry for uh... ruining all this."
Something in his expression told her that he regretted the words as soon as they left him, perhaps unbidden. Not because he didn't mean it, but because he knew what she was going to say in return. They both still occasionally slipped up in their mutual imposed rule against speaking negatively about themselves, and it was the other's duty in that moment to call them out on it. Toriel settled for just a knowing look this time, as Sans had already caught himself, and he'd just been through something especially extreme. He didn't need further chastising.
She did recognize one thing he needed in that moment though, and pulled him into another hug. A little tighter than the last one.
"You have not ruined anything. I promise." She assured him, pressing a little kiss to his cheekbone when she was sure there were no prying eyes. "This was not your fault, and no one is upset with you. No one that matters anyway. Now go get some rest. We will be there soon. I have my phone if you need me."
He blushed a bit in response to all the attention he just received, still ever easily flustered it seemed. But behind that, there a spark of deep gratitude for her words, even if they were something he heard from her more often than he was happy with. Still, she could then see as well as feel his emotions shift in a more positive direction. It was a small improvement in the grand scheme of things, but it was enough for now.
"alright…" He agreed through another, softer sigh.
He looked up at her with a heavy look in his eyelights, but a smile that was a lot more genuine than before. He gave her paw a little squeeze, clearly wanting to do more to return her affections, but not currently feeling up to the task. She returned the gesture with a smile, silently assuring him not to worry about it.
"thanks tori… guess i'll see ya then." He said, sliding forward off the bench so that he landed on his feet with a soft crunch in the thin layer of snow.
Before she could so much as blink, he disappeared in a familiar bright flash of cyan, leaving Toriel alone in the parking lot with her thoughts. Though nowadays, she was never truly alone. She laid her paw over her middle briefly, grateful for the subtle presence of their child there with her. After her time in the Ruins, the idea of being alone again, even in situations like this, instilled a fear in her that went deeper than it would for most monsters.
Their child couldn't yet offer any unique advice on what should be done about the current situation she and Sans were facing, but Toriel could at least imagine they were listening, and paying attention to the emotions at play. That thought helped as she lingered there on the bench a bit longer, trying to piece together the details of what had happened a little more before heading inside.
Even if what had happened wasn't entirely surprising and had happened before, it was a bit strange for his panic response to flare up so badly again. He really had been doing a lot better as of late, managing to stay calm in the face of what usually set him off without relying on withdrawing into his old apathy. It had been a slow process of improvement, but he hadn't had an incident like that in some time.
Something occurred to her then, hitting her like a slap to the face. Of course, how could she forget? Sans' moment of panic was not the only distressing thing that had happened to him today. He had had a nightmare the previous night, or at least some odd dream, one that she seemed to somehow share in part… both relating to his father.
It hadn't come up in their discussion, perhaps mutually overlooked in the moment, but in retrospect it really could have played a role in all of this. Perhaps trying to wait to discuss it later that night hadn't been the best idea after all. Even with their efforts to not read too much into it, those dark visions of the former royal scientist, and the implications behind them, had been haunting them both all day. It was little surprise Sans was more on edge than usual.
She felt another harsh pang of concern and sympathy for him, wondering what must be going through his thoughts at that moment. The usual weight of worry began to press down on her, and she hurriedly got up from the bench to head back inside. The sooner she met up with Papyrus and her children, settled whatever drama there was with the store owners over the damage, and got their items paid for, the sooner they could all head home. Despite her confidence that Sans would be fine and would benefit from a little time alone to think, she wanted to be there for him through this if she could. And there was now no avoiding talking about their mysterious dreams regarding Gaster...
As she was about to step through the automatic doors though, she caught sight of something in the corner of her eye. It was like a shadow briefly passing through her vision, keeping to the edges as to remain unclear. It only lasted a moment, but it was enough to make her pause and look back behind her. Nothing but the usual rows of cars and empty parking spaces stared back at her, bright under the artificial lights. Despite that, there was an eerie sense that she was being watched... though with all the humans that been gawking at her and her family today, perhaps that wasn't surprising. After staring out in the seemingly empty parking lot for a few long moments, she felt silly for her actions and turned away.
She pressed on into the store, trying to explain away the abrupt unsettling feeling swirling about within her soul as just another side effect of her pregnancy.