Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Please don't sue me I'm poor.
Sorry about the long wait I had to work longer than usual and didn't have time write as much as I wanted to.
Thorin glared at Bilbo and Bilbo glared back while the others watched in silence wondering what Bilbo was going to say.
"I know about the battle of Azanulbizar because my mother told me the story and told me about the legend of a dwarf who wielded a broken piece of oaken branch as a shield"
The dwarves were stunned and Thorin was speechless, how could a Hobbit have know about such a tale.
"It was my favourite story and I couldn't help but admire the dwarf he was brave and loyal to his people. I use to go around the shire pretending to be him. I used to wield sticks pretending to slay orcs and cut off the arm of Azog"
Thorin's mouth went dry he knew of Azog as well and couldn't believe this little Hobbit saw him this way he though only he nephews did that.
"To me Thorin Oakenshield was a hero...my hero, until he walked through my door and I saw him for who he really was. A cold, arrogant, mean spirited, loud and rude person" Bilbo said as he stalked closer to Thorin "I admired you Thorin I even wished I could be like you when I grew up but now..." Bilbo sighed and his ears drooped "Now I'm glad I am nothing like you" Bilbo said quietly and turned around and walked away.
Thorin could only stand there and watch as Bilbo walked over to Gandalf and curl up by his side. The other dwarves weren't sure what to do either so they spent the rest of the night in cold silence.
The next morning was warm but the cold from last night still lingered, it was Gloin who decided to break the silence. "Say master Bilbo would you like to know about my wife and son?"
Bilbo looked at him "If you want to tell me about them I wouldn't mind"
Gloin beamed brightly at his answer and started to tell him about the first time he ever met his wife. Neither Bilbo or Gloin noticed the other dwarves roll their eyes or face palm or Oin who had decided to take out his ear trumpet. The other dwarves knew about Gloin's family because once he started talking about them he would never stop and they knew now that this was going to be a very long few days.
The next time they set up camp it was outside an abandoned farm and Gandalf voiced his concern "A farmer and his family used to live here, I think we should move on" Bilbo silently agreed with Gandalf, something about this place felt wrong.
"No we stay here, Bofur get a fire going, Fili and Kili watch the ponies and Bombur start cooking" Thorin protested
"Thorin I believe we should leave and seek shelter elsewhere. I think we should go to Rivendell"
Thorin rage flared at Gandalf's suggestion and Thorin showed his disgust clearly "I will not seek the tree-shaggers for help. They betrayed us and left my people for dead"
Bilbo's ears flinched at the harshness of Thorin's voice. "Lord Elrond will not cast you out and he not your enemy Thorin. I think we should leave and head to Rivendell" Bilbo silently nodded Gandalf was right about Lord Elrond he was a peace keeper not a war starter.
"Not a chance" Thorin turned to his company "Everyone continue setting up camp"
"Valar save me from the stubbiness of dwarves" Gandalf huffed in annoyance and started to walk away from camp.
"G-Gandalf where are you going" Bilbo asked worryingly
"To seek the company of the only on around here who's got any sense"
"Who's that?"
"Myself Master Baggins, I've had enough of dwarves for one day"
"What about me?" Bilbo liked to think he had a lot of sense
"Sorry Bilbo but you'll be staying here" Gandalf replied as he disappeared
'What? Me stay alone with the dwarves? Oh no' Bilbo shifted nervously on his hooves 'I think I need a cuddle' he pouted.
Gloin seemed to noticed Bilbo's distress "Don't worry lad you can sit next to me"
Hours passed by and there was still no sign of Gandalf, Bilbo began to get fussy "He been gone a long time"
"Who?" Bofur asked while he served out stew
"Gandalf"
"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses" There was not a bit of concern in Bofur's reply. He handed Bilbo two bowls full of stew "Can you take these to the lads?"
"Yeah sure" Bilbo pouted but maybe the task would distract him from Gandalf's absence.
Bilbo made his way to the ponies. When he reached them he saw Fili and Kili standing still (Which he thought was impossible) staring into the darkness. Bilbo approached them an held out their stew, after a few seconds he realised something did not seem right.
"What's wrong?" he asked
"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies" Kili started
"Only we've encountered a slight problem" Fili finished
"We had sixteen"
"Now there's fourteen"
'Oh, oh dear' Bilbo thought he knew something was wrong but not this bad. He put both bowls of stew down on a rock and got closer. He counted the ponies and realised that the boys were telling the truth.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing" Kili told him
"Well that's not good" Bilbo looked a little further down to see a large tree had been uprooted and that meant something large had been though here...recently "We should tell Thorin, Now" Bilbo tried to make it sound like an order but the boys were not the least be deterred and decided on their own plan of action.
"Uh, no. Let's not worry him. We thought as our official burglar you might want to look into it" Fili smiled as he put his arm around Bilbo's shoulder.
Bilbo was fuming at this statement he certainly did not want to go looking for whatever had done that to the tree. Whatever was out there was large, strong and hungry and all those things were a bad combination because that meant it was most likely a troll.
"Yeah Master Boggins you're so quiet they won't know you're there" Kili added as he put his arm around Bilbo's other shoulder.
Bilbo scrunched up his face in anger that the boys never noticed, he grabbed the boys by their ears and began to drag them back to camp.
The other dwarves were very shocked when they saw Bilbo dragging the boys by their ears while they were protesting. Thorin rolled his eyes at the display and bellowed "What do you think you doing to my nephews halfling?"
"Your nephews have lost two ponies and wanted me to go look for them by myself. I think the ponies were taken by a troll" Bilbo replied not letting go of their ears just yet
"Is this true lads?" Dwalin asked he knew the boys were reckless but this was a new one
"OW, OW, OW Yes" Fili said
"OW, We're OW sorry. P-Please Master Boggins let go" Kili apologised
"Its Baggins" Bilbo pinched Kili's ears a little bit tighter
"OUCH!"
"Where are the ponies?" Thorin spat
"Over there, there are a few uprooted trees and I think a saw a fire. Like I said I think it maybe a troll"
"Let go of my nephews" Thorin ordered Bilbo let go although he was reluctant to do so "Everyone to arms except you halfling you stay here"
Bilbo gaped as everyone else grabbed their weapons and headed towards the ponies, Gloin put a hand on Bilbo's shoulder and said "Maybe it's for the best lad, we are well trained warriors and have more experience on the battle field" and soon everyone had left the camp leaving Bilbo alone and a little rejected 'Fine just fine then go and get eaten see if I care' he thought as he huffed and crossed his arms. It was childish he knew but he couldn't help but feel a little bit left out. Had he not proven himself when he defeated Thorin? He sighed as he made his way to the others as it turns out he did care if they got eaten.
As Bilbo got closer he could a camp fire and heard very gruff sounding voices...wait voices? Oh by Yavanna there were three trolls and they had caught all the dwarves. Half of them were in sacks and the other half were in being roasted on a spit.
"Don't bother cooking them, let's just sit on them and turn them into jelly" one of the trolls said
"They should be sautéed and sprinkled with a bit of sage" Said the one cooking
"Oh that does sound nice" agreed the third
"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night. Dawn ain't far away and I don't fancy being turned to stone"
Of course Bilbo didn't need to go charging in to save the dwarves he just need to stall for time, but how?
Then Bilbo got an idea he grinned to himself as he stayed hidden in the shadows and started his plan "It doesn't matter how you cook them your cooking always terrible" Bilbo imitated the trolls voice and grinned further when it got the reaction he wanted.
"You what?" the cook turned around and smacked the other troll around the head
"OW! That wasn't me" he complained as he rubbed his head
So the cook turned to the other troll and smacked him and the other troll retaliated with a punch of his own. Soon all three of the trolls began brawling. 'Perfect' Bilbo tried not to laugh at the scene he had just created when something gray had caught his eye.
"The dawn will take you all" Gandalf shouted as he slammed his staff down and broke the rock he was standing on in half to let in the glorious light of the sun. The trolls screamed and bellowed as they slowly turned to stone.
Bilbo entered into the clearing to help untie the dwarves as Gandalf untied the one's on the spit "Get your foot out my back" Dwalin complained
Once the dwarves were untied Thorin approached Bilbo with the same old scowl of his face "What are you doing here? I told you to stay at the camp"
"Yes you did, but you never said which camp now did you?" Bilbo took great joy in Thorin's shocked reaction 'That's right Thorin I just talked back to you. What are going to do about it?'
"Now, now there is no need for childish bickering and it is a good job Bilbo did come when he did or else you would have been eaten by now" Gandalf interrupted before things got to heated
"Wait so that was you Master Baggins?" asked Dori
"Yes I couldn't just charge in and fight them alone so I used my brain instead. I just imitated the trolls voice and let them get on with it" Bilbo smiled
Dwalin let out a loud laugh "Well done lad, I would have enjoyed the show to if I wasn't getting roasted over a fire"
"Well what can you expect trolls are half wits" Dori said
"Half wits what does that make us then?" Bofur replied
"Alright that's enough Bofur, Bifur and Ori grab the ponies everyone else grab our supplies and anything else we've dropped"
"You mean like your clothing?" Bilbo snickered. The dwarves didn't really care if they were nude in front of other but this time they weren't nude voluntarily, so it was funny.
"You! Go back to the camp Gloin go with him makes sure he stays there" Thorin sneered
Bilbo snorted he felt so insulted that no one had thanked him yet so he made a show of it "Oh is no one going to thank me? I did just save your lives after all"
Thorin growled and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Balin "Of course we're grateful that you came laddie we would have thanked you later when we had finished here"
Bilbo was too busy glaring at Thorin and Thorin to busy glaring at Bilbo to notice anything that Balin had said.
"I think it's time to go back to camp Bilbo" Gloin said as he grabbed Bilbo by the arm and lead back to camp
When they were gone Gandalf told the Dwarves that there might be a troll cave nearby and of course a troll cave meant treasure so they decided they would find it because they could all ways use the extra spending money.