She almost shrivelled under his stare, practically wilted like a dying flower. Her spirit getting sucked out like a vacuum, leaving nothing but a ball of apprehension.
"What." Kakashi hissed.
"I may have told my father…" she repeated, softly, guarded against his intense stare.
"And he wished us well?" Disbelief clouded him, 'lies' whispered into his ears like silky velvet, false grated against the hollow canals of his eardrums, no way, untrue.
"Yes."
I do not believe you. He wished to say, but kept his mouth clammed shut. It would take but a forceful, needed push (or a tool) to pry open his lips and say what he wanted, what most likely needed be said.
Yet instead, he smiled shakily. The edges of his eyes crinkling, a facade, a mask.
"I'm glad to hear that," he didn't say it like he meant it, by the way of his flat voice, contradicting his cheerful front.
Hinata didn't fall for it.
Still, she claimed that false reassurance, hugged it to her chest like a safety blanket. She didn't want to anger him, to betray him or make him feel distrust towards her. That wasn't her intention at all; she just wanted to do this on her own. She had to overcome her own fears, without the aid of others.
Flashback
Hanabi's attempt at distilling the frigid atmosphere with her enquiry was useless.
"Ah." Hiashi finally breathed, his lids lowering into a contemplative slate.
"Leave us."
The tone of his voice instilled fear and the servants at hand quickly shuffled out of the way, leaving the two alone. Hanabi swallowed, gaze darting between them before, she, too left their company.
The air within her lungs rushed out, heart pounding, blood warming, face flushing, "Father let me-"
"Hold your tongue," his voice squashed down her voice in an instant, her hasty explanation dying at the tip of her tongue. His tone commanded her to listen, listen well because he was about to lay down the law. Berate her; tell her exactly what he thought of this. Direct and cold truth would be her gift.
Emotion finally greeted his sharp face, eyes narrowing in irritation, "You will be given a chance to explain yourself soon enough." Her eyes darted to the thin line of his mouth as he spoke, noticing the tell-tale curl of aversion playing upon them. She averted her eyes and nodded demurely.
"Disappointment regarding you comes easily, dear daughter of mine." Now she was no fool, that last part of his sentence was mocking, not a sense of endearment. Her jaw clenched. How dare he?
And because he wanted to torment her, he started with a tale, "There was once a story, back before our clan was renowned within this region. Can you take a wager what it was about?" Wicked amusement flashed in his eyes and she inhaled, disturbed. Why was he doing this? She wanted him to get to the point. No need to rub salt in the wound. One thing Hiashi Hyuuga was not was the ability to pity others. She learned that the hard way.
"The women of this clan were only allowed to birth until only after they had wed, not before. It was unheard of. Except for one special case. A lowly branch member had fallen pregnant to a nomad from outside the fire country. Bereft of her young lover who had died in a scuffle outside the border, it did not take long for the clan elders of that time to notice her." How was this any different from the clan's proceedings today? Hinata thought to herself. The rules that applied then still applied today. So why was Hiashi giving her this talk?
Hiashi's lip turned up, guessing where her trails of thoughts were leading to. "Of course, the village had their misconceptions about the clan during that time. It was an era filled with deceit and questionable morals." Here he sighed, as if resigned to what he was about to say next. "The elders allowed the no-named girl to carry her child to term, providing her with the essentials and care for a successful birth. But, the elders had their own agenda. Terminating the child would have caused outrage if word got out, so instead when the babe was born he was immediately removed from his mother." Hinata's brows furrowed as she listened.
"The girl was killed soon after as commotion within the village died down and they were presented an opportunity to get rid of her, suffering an aneurysm from the activation of the bird seal. Afterwards, her body was strapped down to a raft and cast down the river. And then after that, to add insult- her child was smothered and buried in a pit of sand. Why I told you that story is because, if it were not me in the clan's head seat at the moment and another, the same could have happened to you."
A bead of sweat tickled her brow, "These traditions and rules are held up for a reason. Do you not think that falling pregnant at such a young age, before marriage wouldn't present a problem? It is going to. And now, you've been pardoned of your Ninja duties as well. It baffles me how you could be so unwise," he shook his head, tendrils of dark chocolate hair slipping into his face. He pushed them back with a hand, making the action look regal in itself.
And then, the puckered lines on his face smoothed out, "But- i suppose this unexpected surprise is not wholly unwelcome." Shocked, at his reply she could only watch on as he continued his tirade… turned approval? Her head was spinning.
Hiashi caught her look and his expression once again turned hard, "Do not take it as praise, there will be problems in the future." Here, he looked at her intently. What he was about to say was crucial, important, needed be said. "My old age weakens my body by the day and another will have to take my place when my mortality finally decides to give in."
"That will be you, Hinata. Though this predicament isn't favourable it doesn't dispute the fact that you've grown into a capable Kunoichi, strong, resilient and what this clan requires."
So now he was acting like a caring father? Her mind turned on itself.
"You are my heir and the next clan head." He exhaled heavily, "Now you may speak."
She gaped, her mind blanking. What was she supposed to say to that? THANKS? "The… i wasn't preparing for a child. It happened and-" she stopped talking. And just took a minute to breathe.
"It was an accident," she finally said.
"I did not intend to fall pregnant, an act of foolishness on my part and I did not-"She was repeating herself, she was aware. But her mind was in an unsettled state and could anyone fault her for that? First her father is scalding with remarks of her worth, then telling that horror of a story and now he tells her he doesn't mind that much?
Maybe she was just too starved for attention to realise this may be a trick, a ploy, that he wasn't evaluating her so earnestly, he was telling lies, lies about her strength, her character- Her thoughts did not match up with the words coming out of her mouth, thankfully.
"It just happened."
"And who is the father?" Hiashi asked simply after her bumbling explanations.
Locking the doubts away in the furthest crevice in her mind, Hinata squirmed. She was reluctant to disclose that information, not because she was ashamed of her 'partner' but afraid how Hiashi might react when he found out.
She mumbled.
"Speak up," he demanded.
"Ka…Kakashi Hatake."
