Chapter 10: Danger and Desire

Since they made camp earlier than usual, the dwarves spent extra time sharpening their weapons and repairing their gear. Meanwhile, Ori, who liked to draw, asked Grace to sit for a portrait. The dwarves noticed Thorin's distraction as she sat on the rock with her long hair falling in shining waves about her. At Ori's request, she had taken off her vest and loosened her shirt so that her neck and some of her shoulders could be seen, and she sat on the rock with her long legs dangling open because he wanted a natural portrait. Thorin stole glances when he thought no one else was watching and stared at her, his look focused and fierce with desire and need.

"Uncle thinks she's not watching, but that look'll scorch off her clothes," Kili whispered. He sat cross-legged and busied himself fletching his arrows while Fili sharpened his short swords.

"I wonder what she makes of all this," Fili remarked, "if she makes anything of it." She seemed contented and oblivious about Thorin's interest.

While Ori was busy sketching, she smiled at the dwarves and then felt Thorin's eyes on her. Her brows drew together, and she squinted at him like she was trying to puzzle something out until Ori called for her to return to her pose. Her eyes found Thorin again, but his head was down while he sharpened his ax, and he did not look up again.

"Did you see that?" Fili said with an elbow in his brother's side. "I think she's beginning to suspect."

Later that night, Thorin and Balin kept watch while the others slept. Seeing that her cloak had slipped from her shoulders, Thorin got up and tucked it around her. He knelt beside her and ran his hand over the curve of her cheek, tracing the planes of her face with the pads of his fingers. She sighed in her sleep, and he felt her soft breath warm his palm. Picking himself up, he exhaled and ran one hand over his head, not missing Balin's knowing gaze. The two of them regarded her with very different thoughts.

"She's a jewel beyond price, that one is," Balin said as he stroked his beard. Thorin nodded, his brooding eyes watching her every breath. His heart thudded in his chest after she shifted and stretched in her sleep, his body reacting to hers. It was harder to control himself in these unguarded moments, and that did not escape Balin's scrutiny.

"Be careful, Thorin," he said. "Your eyes never leave her for long, and she caught you staring earlier. You'll have to rein yourself in, lad. She doesn't understand what you feel, and you might frighten her."

Thorin watched her with haunted eyes. Then he dropped his head, took a deep breath, and looked up at his old friend and advisor.

"Am I wrong to want her so badly?" he asked, his eyes full of doubt. "Am I betraying our people?"

Balin turned his head and saw his anguished face, and he leaned over and and patted his arm.

"You've given up your whole life for your people," he said. "You've been everything we've needed you to be except for one thing—you've never been happy."

Thorin snorted with disgust.

"Does that matter?" he asked.

"More than you know, laddie," Balin replied as he watched the orange and gold flames flicker, "for when the king is content the people can rest secure. What gladdens the heart is to see the people you love happy. You've done well by us, Thorin, that no one can deny, but it grieves us to see the bitterness you carry. Win her love, and we'll all be with you."

"But how do I win her?" he asked, keeping his deep voice to a whisper. "She's unique and far beyond me." Balin peered at him with a sly expression on his face.

"You're a king," he replied in a breezy gust, "and one day you'll be crowned. You can have anyone you want. Arm-wrestling, ale-chugging, and distance-spitting matches have always worked for us. Win two out of three, win a bride."

He smothered a chuckle with a long drag on his pipe. Thorin was not amused.

"You are teasing me," he said with his eyes on the ground. He glanced sidelong at his old friend. "I am serious."

Balin turned to him with an impish grin and another quip on the tip of his tongue when he caught Thorin's pained expression.

"Aye, forgive me, laddie," he replied. "I meant to lighten the mood." Then he scratched his head and turned his mind to the matter at hand.

"Since she's not a dwarf, our usual challenges won't work with her," he said with a scratch of his nose, "but she is a fighter, so I'd challenge her with something she can appreciate."

Thorin straightened up, turning his dark thoughts into purposeful action. With one hand over his mouth, he picked up a stick with the other and drew in the dirt, laying out plans to snare her heart.

The next morning before breakfast, Oin told Grace to take her swords and meet Thorin in the woods. The dwarves snickered over what was to come as they threw sausages to each other to place on the fire. She walked through the woods, calling his name. Turning, she heard a sound to her left and, before she could react, he jumped from behind a tree and pinned her against a rock with the flat of his sword against her throat. His beard rubbed against her cheek.

"Evil will not sacrifice itself nor come out into the open unless it has to or believes its enemies defeated," he said while breathing on her neck, "so you must never think it easily vanquished." He looked into her wide eyes.

"You must learn its ways to overcome it," he said with a warm kiss on the hand.

She blinked and he was gone. Looking around, she took a few steps, but he came up behind her and caught her arms behind her back.

"Think ahead of the enemy," he said. His breath tickled her ear. "Know your territory and look for places where the enemy can hide." He kissed her on her temple, and then he was gone.

She looked around and scanned the woods but did not see him. Drawing her swords, she crept forwward until she reached a thicket. He pulled on her ankle, and she fell to the grass.

"Remember," he said smiling, "the enemy can be anywhere." Then he pecked on her cheek and disappeared.

She looked around in frustration. Thorin waited behind a rock for her to pass, but she did not show. After waiting until his knees began to cramp, he stood and looked around only to have her drop down on him from the tree above. She knocked him over and landed on his chest with her two flashing swords crossed at his throat.

"If you cannot see your enemy," she said, "change your vantage point." Then she stood up in one graceful move and offered her hand. He laid on the ground unhurt but shocked all the same.

"I think I need more of these lessons," she said. "These ideas are new to me."

He grinned as he got to his feet.

"I will be happy to teach you," he said.

A low growl sounded close to them. They backed away from the rock as a warg ran to the top of it and jumped at her. She raised her swords, but he threw himself into the warg, and both hit the ground.

"Thorin!" she yelled. She worked to push the warg off of him saw his sword sticking out of its ribs.

"I am not injured," he said as he got to his feet and shook off what had happened.

Her eyes blazed with anger.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded. "I would have killed it."

He tried to take her hand, but she snatched it away and stood with her back to him. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips.

"Grace," he said without hesitation, "face me." His voice carried an authority that she had not heard before. She turned and stood as he did.

"Look at me!" he said. Her head snapped up, but her eyes still crackled with purple fire. "I am the leader of my people," he said, "and for now that includes you. You must trust my judgment."

Softening her stance, she tilted her head and scrunched her mouth. "But I live to serve. Would you prevent me from doing that?"

"Yes, if it keeps you from harm," he said while wondering if she had any instinct for self-preservation. Then they heard another howl and they ran back to camp.

The others had already hidden the ponies and were armed for battle.

"Just when the pork rinds were almost done," Bombur lamented as he rubbed his round belly. They ran to higher ground and over the ridge below, they saw warg riders fanning out in search of them. They were clearly outnumbered and on rocky terrain.

"Thorin," Grace offered, "what if I could lead some away? I am the fastest runner here, and that would make things more even."

He shook his head.

"No, we will not risk it," he said. "We stay together."

She thought back on his earlier comments and frowned. Did he not need to trust her judgment as well?

"But if Bofur could outrun them and even the chances," she asked, "would you send him? If I am one of your people for the present, then you must treat me equally. I can do this."

Gloin whispered to Balin, "She's a feisty one, that."

Thorin exhaled and, after thinking through the logic of the situation, agreed with obvious reluctance. She ran from the hiding place, and on a hill some distance away she stood and called to the orcs.

He looked down with alarm.

"What is she doing?" he asked in disbelief, and he unsheathed his sword. Balin shook his head.

"She learns quickly," Balin said. "Have faith in her."

The orcs readied their weapons and charged.

"After her, you useless hunks of meat," their leader snarled, "or I'll be hanging your skins from the trees."

The wargs raced toward her, and she took off running.

She kept ahead of them but not so much that they would lose interest. Then Thorin divided the company, and they attacked from the sides. Swirling and slashing, he beheaded three orcs and then thrust his boot into the stomach of one heading his way.

"Mine, uncle!" Fili shouted, and he cut down the stumbling orc.

Thorin nodded his thanks, and he and Dori took on two more. Kili shot two orcs off their wargs, and Dwalin finished off the fearsome beasts with strong throws of his axes between their eyes.

"I see that Grasper and Keeper found temporary homes, brother," Balin called out before he split the skull of an orc with metal studs in its cheek and then ducked as the jagged sword of another swung over his head.

"Kili! Kili!" Fili shouted. With swords flashing, he fought two orcs while a third charged from the side. The bodies of their wargs lay around them.

His brother's arrows found their targets, and the Fili tossed his grateful thanks over his shoulder. The orc leader shouted a command to kill the archer, and riders swerved toward Kili. The young prince froze and then scrambled up a large boulder.

"Help!"

The dwarves turned to see three warg riders converging on Kili, and Thorin fought to reach him but was unable. Daggers whistled past his ear and struck the wargs, making the fearsome beasts roll in the dust and pitch off their riders. Kili grinned and notched another arrow.

Oin's staff swung over his head to wallop a heavily scarred orc. Bofur banged another on the head with his mace and sent it reeling to Bifur who ran it through.

After it was over, the tired but victorious dwarves scouted the perimeter for signs of more orcs. Finally satisfied that they had killed them all, they dumped the bodies into a pit they found and trudged back to camp.

"Where is she?" Thorin asked looking all around him. His hand gripped his sword, and he turned to go back. The others flopped down to rest. "She should have been back by now."

"She must have led them a merry chase," Balin said while trying to salvage the remains of the food. "She'll be along soon I expect. Don't worry."

But the day grew hotter, and she did not appear. Finally, they heard the sound of her light steps coming their way. Thorin breathed a sigh of relief, and they all went out to meet her. When she saw him, she smiled with delight.

"Your lessons were most helpful," she said. "I practiced for a while, but then I knew it was time to return so I led them over a cliff."

His breath caught.

"You did what?" he asked with dismay.

The others looked at each other and then at her. What did she say? All at once, they hoped they misheard her, and several hazarded a quick look at Thorin whose neck had already flushed red.

"I led them over a cliff," she said with a bright smile as she looked around at their astounded faces. "Was that not correct? It was most effective." She looked as though she had won first prize in a contest.

"And just how," he asked with tight control, "did you get them to follow you?"

She bit her lip with excitement, ready to spring her surprise.

"I jumped off the cliff," she said, and she looked for admiration in their faces but grew confused when, one by one, their gazes dropped to their feet.

Then Thorin took her by the elbow and told the others that they would be back in a minute. After they had left, some members of the company turned around and kicked at the ground while others sighed and shrugged. Each thought on his own encounters with Thorin's fierce temper.

"He won't be too hard on her, now will he?" Ori asked. "He looked like a lightning storm."

Balin shook his head.

"Not too hard," he said, "but hard enough to teach her a lesson."

A short distance away from the camp, Thorin sat Grace down, and he raked his hands through his hair.

She just does not understand yet, he said to himself as he exhaled in frustration. I said I would teach her, so I will.

Then he turned to her, saw her sitting with her hands folded in her lap, and he exploded.

"You could have been killed!" he shouted. "You do not take unnecessary risks!"

She looked at him with alarm.

"But the drop was only about 120 feet," she protested, "and I was able to break my fall on several ledges."

He threw up his hands.

"But what if you missed a step?" he asked. "We would have found your body on the ground!"

She shook her head, not believing the matter to be so dire. His face was red, and the look in his eyes could drill through stone. She had never seen him so agitated. He kept rolling his shoulders and arching his back to throw off what seemed to be an intolerable weight.

"But you did not," she argued. She took in his angry face and words before her lip began trembling. She could not understand why he was so unhappy with her. Had she not dealt with the orcs and helped save their lives? Was she not standing before them well and whole? Did she not do what was asked of her? Had she not served well?

Thorin stood there and held his breath. Then he went to Grace, took her hand, and put it over his tunic on his pounding heart. He could not understand how she could be so cavalier about her own life, and then he realized that her selflessness did not take into consideration the feelings of others. She would give her life without understanding that others cared about what happened to her. All at once, he saw the enormity of the task before him. Not only did she not love him, but she also had no regard for his feelings for her.

"Do you feel that?" he asked, as his pained face searched her confused one.

Struggling with his frustration, he took her other hand and put it on his face. She looked into his eyes and saw his fear of losing her, a fear so great that it threatened to consume him, and she thought she understood.

"You have to make a choice, Thorin," she said. "You either need to allow me to use my abilities to serve with you, or you need to release me from my promise. I understand what you said earlier, but this is different. I was obeying your orders, and I was in no danger. I will follow you, but you must trust me in return. I promised to help you, and I will not fail."

He shook his head at her lack of understanding and paced in front of her before he could trust himself to speak.

"Do you think my fear is losing your help?" he asked. "Do you not understand? You do not risk yourself like that! Not ever!"

"I was not at risk," she said. "I did what I did so no harm would come to you."

He rubbed his forehead.

She lives to serve and does not understand.

Sighing, he took her hand in his, turned it over, and pressed his warm lips to her palm and fingers. His mustache and beard stroked her skin, and she felt a new and uncomfortable emotion. All at once, she felt that he was too close to her. Tugging her hand away, she suggested that they go back to the others. He shook his head and looked up at the sky, seeking answers but finding none.

"They will think that I taught you a lesson," he said .

But I have taught you nothing.