I apologize for making you wait. I know what it's like to be hungry for more of your fave story and have to endure minutes, hours, days gasp for more chapters.

All characters and the glorious Twilight world belongs to Stephanie Meyers, whom I don't happen to be. sigh Only the story line that follows is my creation. Enjoy!

Losing It

"Angela, what did you mean just now?" I was confused. I hadn't said anything out loud, had I? I was trying to be conspicuous when I looked at her. Maybe she just figured I must be thinking what any guy would in my place. Who could help looking at her, sitting there pulling off her wet clothes only a foot away?

"You were having some very naughty thoughts about me weren't you?" She said it matter-of-fact.

"Umm...," I was caught. Now surely she was going to lecture me on the right order of things. Guy asks girl out. Girl says yes. First date. Second date. yadda yadda yadda...

She didn't look mad, but how many girls want a guy to think they move as fast as she and I had today? Angela was not that kind of girl, and I knew that. I hoped she knew how I felt. Had I come on too strong? Oh, man, I was gonna screw it all up after all.

"It's okay. I was thinking the same thing, maybe even with a little more detail than you."

"What?" There went my theory out the window.

"You do have lots to tell me, but I don't think you'll have to explain as much to me as you think."

The rain drummed steadily on the roof of the car. I looked out the window while she fastened the rain coat around her. She reached for my hand and held it securely, reassuringly with hers. That slowed the nagging worry that had begun to grow in me.

"I don't know why you think that, but I have an idea, and I hope you're right. I hope you're as open minded as you seem, because this is all going to sound very strange. I searched her face, but she showed no signs of apprehension as to what I might be ready to confess.

"How close are you and Bella?" Angela's eyes shifted to our intertwined hands and back to me. She picked at the fuzz on the arm rest where our hands lay as she spoke.

"Not as close as the two of you, I suspect," there was a hint of acceptance in her voice, as though she had come to terms with a relationship that unknown to her never really grew into something substantial.

I squeezed her hand gently and chided her,"It's not like that, Angela. It never was, for Bella anyway."

Angela looked out the window to hide the hurt in her eyes. I could see her reflection.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Angela. There was a time that I would have given anything to have Bella where you are now."

"Please, Jacob. I don't think I want to hear anymore right now."

She was weakly trying to pry her hand from my grip. I refused to let her go.

"Just let me finish, Angela. If I can, I want to make you see that there is no way in hell or here on earth that she could ever hope to take your place now."

Angela turned back to face me. "It's not what she wants that worries me," her voice quivered and tears were starting to fall from her beautiful eyes. "That time, not so long ago, was yesterday, wasn't it?"

"It seems like years ago, but yes, it was. I know this is hard to hear, but please try to listen to the whole story. This may take awhile. Will you stay with me and hear me out, please?"

"My mind's wide open, Jacob. Just hurry to the part where you tell me that you love me, okay?" she smiled a small smile but her eyes brightened with hope.

"I love you, Angela. Bella and I will never be anymore than close friends. I see that clearly now and I accept it readily. What's between us, you and I, is stronger than any bond she and I could ever have had. I would do almost anything for her because she is my friend and I love her, but only as a friend. That's all we'll ever be, promise."

"Almost anything? What wouldn't you do for her?" her question was sincere, not one formed out of jealousy.

"I could never offer her my heart, it already belongs to someone else." She pressed her lips to mine as if she knew what I was planning a second before I did. Fireworks again.

Stop. A voice in my head, one I didn't recognize, urged me on. I was explaining something to Angela...what was it? Her lips were so soft but forceful. STOP! You have to tell her everything. Oh, yeah, right. Where was I?

I ended the kiss gently and leaned back against my door. Angela seemed to know what I meant to do and she turned more in her seat so that she was completely facing me now. She was listening intently.

I told her about the first time I met Bella, here on this very beach. I told her every story I had told Bella that day, emphasizing the fact that Bella had been most interested in "the Cold Ones." Angela stayed silent while I worked my way easily through the months when Bella suddenly started coming often to La Push to visit me. I confessed that I knew she was using me to buffer the pain that Edward had caused her when he left, and that I took advantage of the situation as much as possible. She grinned once or twice in agreement as if to say that she could understand why I had done some of the stupid things I had.

"Now can you understand why things are the way they are for Bella and me? It's complicated and it would have been just as twisted I think even if not for Edward."

"What is it that you have against him?" I cringed a little at his name on her lips. "Did he do something to you or does it all have to do with Bella? I saw you that day at school. I was afraid somebody was going to spill some blood by the way you two looked at each other."

I threw back my head and laughed,"Oh, baby, if you only knew how right on the mark you were." Then I wouldn't have to talk to her about Edward. He and I could be on better terms now that Bella was his alone, but we would never- ever be anything close to friends.

"Then get on with it. I know there's plenty more to tell, I just want to hear all the details from you."

There was excitement in her eyes. I had to look away before they burned right through me.

"Umm, where was I? Oh, yeah, Eddie," I tried very hard not to mask the sarcasm in my voice. I told her as much as I could without tying in the fact that he was a bloodsucker. I was doing my best to paint Cullen as the evil bastard I knew he was without seeming too biased in my view of him. I had hurried through my words as fast as I could when I noticed Angela doing something very strange. She kept leaning in closer to me as I talked and now she closed her eyes and drew in a long breath through her nose. She mumbled something inaudible except for the last few words. They were quiet but clear.

"...smells so good."

"Uh, thanks. That's my own creation," I joked. "I call it Jacob au natural.

"What?" she snapped back to reality.

"You were just enjoying my manly scent," I chuckled. "and I was just getting to the good part."

"Oh, sorry." She smiled apologetically and I kissed the end of her nose.

"It's all right. I might even be flattered, except for all I know you probably sniff all the guys you know."

She punched my arm, luckily not hard enough to injure herself. That was a perk to being a werewolf. Girly punches felt like a cotton ball being thrown at you from a distance. Good quality to have if you have an abusive girlfriend. I laughed at my inside joke. I'd have to mention it to Angela if I ever got around to telling her the whole truth and nothin' but the truth.

I found my train of thought and continued my bashing of the bloodsucker, trying to get my point across. Some of what I did was really his fault, I was only acting to protect Bella.

Angela was leaning closer than before now. Her nose was nearly buried in my shirt collar before I noticed what she was doing. She was sniffing me now. Before I got the chance to ask her what she was doing and harass her for making a lame joke, her mouth was on my neck, caressing the tender skin there and moving to my ear. She took my face in her hands and lunged at me. She kissed me with more ferocity than I would have ever given her credit for. I thought I would come out of my skin.

She pulled back to look in my eyes. Hers were smoldering. A fire burned behind them and there was something feral about them I hadn't seen before.

"I want you, Jacob. Maybe too much for my own good." Her breath was hot on my skin.

I slid my hands into her hair. Stop. Not now. You have so much more to tell her. That damned voice again. You can't let this happen, not yet! STOP!

I pulled her away, which should have been easy, but she was not so willing to let me go and she clung to me. She looked through me to my very soul. A chill ran over me. The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention.

"I want this to happen now, Jacob. If you don't stop me, if this keeps up, I'm afraid we'll be attending our own shotgun wedding soon." She looked drunk with lust. Her breath was ragged.

"Suits me," I growled and I went for her throat. I kissed her with an urgency I had never felt before.

This is wrong. The voice again. Why did it sound so much like Sam? You have to stop.

Control yourself, because she has lost all of hers. My conscious screamed at me. I knew deep down that I couldn't let this happen yet, but I didn't care. The angel and the devil in me were threatening civil war, screaming at me as well as one another.

"I want to, Jacob, now," she was breathless. Her words were barely a whisper.

"But we can't," I finished her thought.

"We can," she said.

"But we shouldn't," I countered.

I was coming back to reason. The voice was right. There was too much at stake right now to be overtaken by lust.

"No."

I didn't know if she was agreeing with me or arguing her point. I tried to lift her back to her side of the car, but she scrambled onto my lap and her hands ran from my chest downward. She moved her legs so that she sat facing me straddling my thighs. Her tongue licked across my lips and pushed between them. She was making this difficult. As strong as I was I had a hard time pulling her away from me. I fought with the desire to let her go as far as she would, but the voice kept screaming for me to stop her. I finally gave in to the voice.

"Angela, stop," I half-pleaded with her. She answered by unbuttoning my pants.

I grabbed her wrists roughly. "Angela, we can't do this now. God knows how much I'd like to rip your clothes off right here, but we can't. We have too much to talk about."

She looked hurt for a second and then laid her head on my shoulder. Her lips brushed my ear. "Please, Jacob?" she whispered in her velvety voice. "You can make me yours right now." The last part sounded like a demand.

Don't give in. You have to stop or things will get very complicated. You have to tell her everything first.

I didn't know why, but suddenly I was angry with her. I caught her face between both my hands. She looked so fragile, yet so fierce.

"Listen to yourself, Angela. I barely know you, but I know enough to say with certainty that this isn't something you would normally do, would you?"

"Maybe this is normal for me now; when I'm with you it's like I'm on some super drug. I lose all my inhibitions...and you smell so good."

Smell? The wild look in her eyes...Oh, God. PhermonesShe was reacting to the chemicals my werewolf side was producing. She was reacting strongly to it, yes, but I imagined that was because I had imprinted on her and it was part of our connection. I would have to ask Sam...and Emily. I was a little embarrassed to think of even asking Em something so personal, but she could better tell me what was going on with Angela.

I had unknowingly loosened my grip on Angela's wrists. I heard a familiar sound and realized that she had unzipped my pants and was proceeding to try and remove them completely.

"NO! Angela! Stop!"

I pulled her up and away from me and sat her down firmly in the passenger seat. I was seething now. I wasn't as much angry with her, but at myself. I was unwillingly doing this to her. I should have taken this into consideration. But how was I to know this would go so far. Bella had never even seemed to be bothered by my strong wolf hormones. That made sense now that I knew who I was supposed to affect...Angela. I couldn't let her do something she'd regret later. No matter how bad I wanted to be with her that way.

She was persistent. She fought against me, trying to get back to what she had started.

I couldn't imagine Emily and Sam going through this. Maybe this wasn't what was suppose to happen. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't just throw her in her car and drive away. What if distance didn't help? She was in no shape to drive anywhere in the state she was in.

I shouted the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm all yours, Angela! Use me any way you want without consideration for my feelings. Then you can throw me away, just like Bella!"

Angela's eyes widened in a pained expression and she sat very still. I knew that would hit a nerve. Something had to bring her down--back to earth for a minute so I could figure out what to do next.

She wasn't still for long. Her mouth curved into the most beautiful smile and her eyes glowed. She moved to my side again, her mouth to my ear.

"Make love to me, Jacob. That's all I want. You want me, too, don't you?"

I yanked her back so I could look in her eyes. I was growing impatient.

"Ah, here I thought you were my angel, but you're acting more like the devil with each minute that passes," I chuckled although I was dead serious.

She tried to wriggle free from my grasp and I shook her.

"Fine, Angela! Let's be stupid for a minute. That's all it'll take. You take the werewolf's virginity and I'll do my best to get you pregnant. How's that for a story to tell the parent's?

Hey, Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Jacob Black. He came by the house looking for another girl he was after, and knocked me up in his car the next day. Oh, and he's a monster sometimes, literally."

She looked shocked. Great. That worked out well.

"You're a virgin?"

"OH-MY-GOD, ANGELA!!! I just told you the honest to God's truth, my biggest secret, that I AM a WEREWOLF and you're concerned with whether I've bedded anybody before?

Are you crazy?!"

"No, I'm not crazy. I'm just not very shocked is all. It makes sense," she was way too calm.

My head was spinning. I didn't know whether to laugh at the way she handled the enormity of the situation, or cry with relief that she knew now and she hadn't run away screaming from the "lunatic". At least she wasn't trying to rape me for the moment.