A/N- I thought of this a while ago. It took a while to write, seeing as I had to completely change the tone of the song. But yeah. Just a warning- this isn't such a kids song anymore. Oh, and please don't kill me for doing this to Disney. Enjoy!
"Beautiful?" A worried voice asked.
No, not just a voice. Carth's voice.
"Hmm?" she asked sleepily. Why was she asleep standing up? And she had such a horrible headache. She kept her eyes shut against the pain.
Carth's voice sounded a bit happier. "Are you alright?"
"Wha- I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache. What happ-" Ayesha fell silent. She remembered. The Hawk had fallen prey to Karath's tractor beams. The Sith had boarded their ship, and one of them had knocked her on the back of the head, knocking her out. "Oh. Wait- where are the others?" She opened her eyes, to find herself in a force cage, in what appeared to be an interrogation chamber.
"In the cells of the place." Bastila spoke up. "They stuck the three of us in cages, but I heard them talking about putting the others in cells."
"And Candy?" They were counting on Canderous to heal from near death, like he'd done before, and get them out of there.
"Might as well be dead in their eyes." She said, "I hope he heals up."
Carth groaned. "And if he doesn't, we're all toast."
Ayesha slid to the ground. "I shouldn't have risked him like that. It could kill him."
Carth gave her a worried look. "Beautiful, the fight nearly killed you, far's I could tell. Canderous is a tough old nut. He'll be alright." He swallowed. "I was worried that you'd been killed, and I'd never get a chance to apologize- for well, before."
Ayesha laughed. "Carth, my dear, I'm not that easy to kill." She said, "I'm alright. Just a headache."
Bastila sighed. "That's sweet and all, but shouldn't we be readying ourselves for the interrogation that's coming? These cages are used for torture. We should be ready."
Ayesha frowned. "How can one be ready for torture?" she asked, "Unless it's to corroborate our answers. But what will they ask?"
"Where the enclave is." Carth suggested, "If they knew that, they could do it like they did Telos and Taris."
"That won't work. The jedi will stop them. We can just tell them that it's on Alderaan."
Bastila gave her an odd look. "Right. Anything else?"
"Ah, yes, do tell." Said an entirely different person, as he strode into the room. Carth's eyes narrowed, and Ayesha could guess from his reaction that the man before them was Saul Karath.
"Saul." He growled, "You bastard."
Karath looked amused. "That's the best you can do, Onasi? I expected something more colorful.
Carth obliged, using curses from about ten languages that left even Ayesha impressed. Saul grinned. "Now that's more like it." He said, turning to Ayesha and Bastila, his eyes lingering on their forms. "What about you two?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "I trust you're comfortable?"
Ayesha replied with a string of curses from just about every language she spoke, leaving Saul quite impressed and Bastila scandalized. Carth beamed at her.
Saul laughed. "So, Onasi, I take it this one's yours? Isn't that forbidden among the Jedi?" He spat the word as if it were a curse.
Ayesha glared. "Karath, I'm playing the Jedi's game for now, but I've never been one to be part of such a restrictive group. I play by my own rules, you "
Saul raised an eyebrow. "As you ever have." He said, his voice unreadable.
Ma chere, Madmoiselle
He nodded to Ayesha and Bastila in turn, Carth glaring.
It is with deepest pride
And greatest pleasure
That we welcome you tonight
He laughed at them as he sang, the irony thick.
And now,
We invite you to relax
Don't pull up a chair
As the Interceptor proudly presents
Interrogation!
Karath bowed elaborately, a wicked grin on his face.
Be
Our
Guest
Be our guest
Put our service to the test
"What service?" Ayesha murmured, a scowl adorning her face
In response, Saul pushed a button, and some synthe-bread appeared in their hands. Ayesha took a small bite and nearly spat it out. It tasted like sawdust, although at least it wasn't poisoned.
Tie your napkin round your neck my dear
And we'll provide the rest
It was painfully clear that Karath would mock them at every turn. He was sure he'd won.
And he might have. It all depended on Canderous now.
Next to her, Carth was eyeing the gray loaf in his hands suspiciously, and on the other side, Bastila was eating it with a look of supreme distaste.
Meanwhile, Saul was being brought a good meal. He pointed it out to them with a mocking laugh
Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, she only lives to serve
He pointed out the serving girl, and with a pang she recognized Mission, restraining collar around her neck, in a costume not fit for a hooker.
Ayesha was furious. "You bastard. You force forsaken, poodoo licking fracking bastard. She's only a kid."
Saul laughed. "She's a twi'lek." He said simply, "A rather shapely one at that. She would be wasted in the cells with the others. Besides, someone had to bring me this food." He smirked at Carth, who still hadn't touched his 'bread'.
Try the gray stuff
It's delicious
Don't believe me?
Ask the bitches
He indicated a string of Twi'lek women bringing in food.
They can sing
They can dance
After all,
All good sluts can
And nothing here is ever second best.
He laughed. "Well, for me anyways."
Come on, unfold your menus
Take a glance
And then
You'll be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest
Ayesha scowled and started to say something, then changed her mind as the serving girls finished up. Saul gloatingly indicated the dishes.
Beef ragout
Cheese soufflé
Pie and pudding en flambé
They've prepared
I'll serve with flair
A culinary cabaret
Ayesha glared at him.
You're apart
And you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While Karath's entertaining.
"You're sick" Ayesha spat, acting as though the mere act of addressing him was disgusting.
Saul laughed. "So unoriginal. You've told me that before, as a compliment. Must you always copy yourself?"
Ayesha and Carth exchanged a look, and neither one saw Bastila's troubled expression.
Fling insults
It's your pick
Heaven knows it's Malak's tic
I've sent for him
He'll have fun with you I bet
Come on and breathe your last
You've won your own free pass
To be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest
Saul grinned at them, stepping away from the apparently superfluous food.
Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
It takes a toll
To have that soul
To wait upon
Ah, those good old days
Back under Revan
He eyed Ayesha as he said it, and Bastila squirmed
Suddenly those good old days were gone
Ten years he's been fussing
Needing so much more- it bugs me
Wanting everything
Without using his skills
Most days
I just sit around
And wait for orders
Flabby, fat, and lazy
You 'walk in' and oops-a-daisy
"Did he just say oops-a-daisy?" Yesha whispered to Carth.
Carth snorted. "I think so."
"That's just odd."
Saul cleared his throat loudly
It's a 'guest'
It's a 'guest'
Rev's alive-may she be blessed
Wine's been poured
Confusingly, he raised a glass to Ayesha, an act that made Bastila wince.
And thank the force
I've had the cages freshly tested
I will serve
He's got me
Though he's not too fond of me
Ah well
While the smuts do their bowing
I'll be raging
I'll be howling
He'll be warned
You've been caught
He looked at Ayesha's head and sighed
Force's sake
Is that a knot?
Cover it up
We want him suitably impressed
I've got a lot to do
Is it one shock, or two
For you our guests
They're our guests
Saul was clearly unstable, or else he knew something Yesha didn't. Or a combination of the two.
Be our guest
Be our guest
My command is your distress
It's been years since I've had anything to do
And I'm obsessed
With your fall
In good time
Yes indeed
We aim to please
While his shuttle is still going
Let me 'help' you
I'll keep going
He had an evil grin on his face and grabbed a remote, waving for someone to take away the food, which he hadn't touched.
Using force
One by one
Till you shout
Enough I'm done!
Then you'll tell me everything I need to know
Tonight you'll feel like crap
But for now lets chat
With you my guest
Be our guest
Be our guest
Be our guest
Please, be our guest
Saul's predatory smile unnerved them all.
"Let the interrogation begin."