"So, what have you found out about these creatures, Sonya?"
"It's terrible... With Kim Kardashian's celebrity endorsement, sales of these black pills have skyrocketed. Several companies are already advertising their own brands. Where one whore goes, another will follow..."
The second lieutenant turned to Fusion and Sorel. "Anything you can add to this?"
The intellectual story writer began her tale. "Alright, so I was at this club, and there were plenty of those girls with the pot bellies. You know, the ones who took the pill. Suffice to say that one of them had to go then and there. I followed her 'daughter,' Aura, to a distant location until she noticed me. We started talking, and it turns out that she wants to be a story writer too. I dunno, residual memory imprint from her mom or something. Anyways, so I offered her a place with me in exchange for not giving me any pills or whatnot, and she did so. We've had a pretty good arrangement here."
"Yeah, Aura helped inspire us for one of our fanfics, Kris Humphries Strikes Back."
Sonya gave Fusion a glance. "What was that one about?"
"Not much... Kris Humphries gets possessed by a disembodied Noob Saibot, knocks Kim up, kidnaps her sisters and gives them to Mexican drug cartels, and hypnotizes their mom into not being a famemonger who whores her daughters out for money and TV deals. It's hilarious!"
"'Hilarity' aside, what else have you gathered? By any chance, have you analyzed the effects of the creature on human males? Or males in general?"
"No. Not yet," responded Fusion.
"And, Sorel, how did you get into a club? From what I've heard, you're underage."
"I look older," she simply replied.
Seeming to accept that as a plausible response, she turned towards the lower lieutenant, hoping to say just a word when Sorel asked her:
"Sonya, do you happen to know anyone who had the, erm, thing before Kardashian?"
Sonya squirmed. Did she really want to admit that she herself was infested by
the Saibota?
"Yes, I do."
And on that mark, Liu, Ashrah, and Kagura came in.
"Hi, everyone... Who are these three?"
"Ha-ha!" Sonya laughed nervously. "Liu, lady I don't know! These are Sorel and Fusion. And that's Second Lieutenant... Wheatley."
"Nice to meet you. I presume you are the champion of Earthrealm?" Sorel asked Liu. He nodded. "Brilliant! So who are these two?"
"I am Ashrah, and this is my daughter, Kagura." The female Saibota gave a quick wave before eying her sister.
"Holy shit..." Fusion's eyes were wide open, gawking at the new Saibota before Sorel slapped him. "Sorry, sorry."
"Well," Wheatley began, "I guess it's up to us to stop Noob Saibot and his plans." Just then, the doorbell rang. "Oh yeah, my sister was coming over..."
"How do you think she'd react?" asked Sonya.
"Just like every other clueless woman in this day and age: horny."
"Let's hope for the best," sighed Liu. "She can't be so oversexed... Can she?"
"I've been trying to refrain myself for a year, Liu, and it's still unbearable."
"Shit."
And Liu was the one who finally opened the door for Wheatley's sister. From what Sonya could recall at the book club incident, she was a very plain person despite some features, especially her rather large nose. Now she abandoned the glasses and her eyes seemed slightly larger, the blue in her irises more prominent. Now her brown hair was flattened, and she wore a tight red dress that accentuated a small bump in her abdomen and black leggings and heels. It was as if she was a completely different person.
"Holy-"
Sorel slapped Fusion for the nth time that night.
"Well, I suppose our work here is done, if you could call it work. Somebody isn't exactly accelerating our progress," Sorel declared. And with that, she pinched Fusion in the ear and pulled him out of the house. "Why don't you guys have some fun now? We'll continue this investigation tomorrow."
And Sonya realized she could actually begin to make amends with Wheatley, so she shooed his sister out. "What are you? His girlfriend?" she hissed.
"No. I'm his boss. Now get out."
"But I was gonna spend some time with the Saibota! Teach them about humanity and whatnot!" Fusion struggled as he was dragged off by Sorel and fed to a horde of flesh-eating bugs. Well, not really, but she wished he would shut up.
Frustrated, Wheatley's sister left the room, her bump a bit larger. It would be coming soon...
"Well..." Wheats didn't exactly know how to start a conversation with his boss since... The event.
"Look, Wheats... I'm sorry. What happened, happened, and it happened between just the two of us. Maybe we can just forget about it and pretend it never happened. Can we start over?"
Second Lieutenant sighed.
"We're still here," Liu muttered. And they turned around, only to find him behind the two, along with Ashrah and Kagura.
"Can you guys please come back tomorrow?"
"Why's that?"
"What happened between the two of you?" Ashrah asked them.
"None of your business, lady! Now get out!"
Liu began muttering some agitated threats before sullenly turning around, leaving Wheatley's house and standing outside with everyone else.
"So where do we go from here?" Fusion was a tad worried, them not having a place to stay and all.
"You could stay with us at the Wu Shi Academy. That's where we were going." Ashrah gave a friendly smile.
Sorel shrugged. "Not like we have much of a choice. Let's go. I want to slap the shit out of Fusion some more."
"It's called hormones, okay!"
She wasn't waiting any longer, grabbing him by the hand as the group stood in a circle, arms connected as they teleported away from the house.
If they only knew how stupid of a mistake that would be.
Wheatley turned away from Sonya, unsure how to react.
"Please? Let's just make like it never happened. Can we please be friends again?"
"I'm not sure."
"Please? Maybe we could go out, enjoy ourselves. Start over?"
"Fine. Besides, keeping a cold shoulder with the boss isn't good for the workplace."
She looked relieved, almost ready to move in and kiss him until she heard a very loud moan.
"Oh no."
The two of them rushed upstairs and found exactly what they expected to find. Wheatley's sister was straining to empty her womb of the Saibota within, and despite the madness of it, he rushed towards his sister, grabbing her hand and calming her.
"Oh my God, what's happening!?"
"Just push, sis!"
And with a quick shove, the Saibota came out. It almost immediately wrapped a coil of itself around the second lieutenant, squeezing him before turning towards Sonya, wanting her to watch as he suffered.
"So... This is your boy toy..." Wheatley's sister had long since passed out from the shock, leaving Sonya the only witness of these horrifying events. "Perhaps we should see what I can do with him."
And with that, the eight-foot monster began to force its way down the special forces soldier's throat. Soon all of its tar-like body was inside of him as he gurgled his last words.
"I wish we had fallen in love under... Different circumstances..."
And with that, he exploded. His arms and legs flew across the room, embedding themselves in the blood and flesh-covered walls. His head rolled into her arms and she screamed as it blinked at her once before its eyes became glassy.
In the mass of where Wheatley once stood was the Saibota. Oddly enough, it seemed to have taken Wheatley's form.
"Darling, it's me! Wheatley! My mind is in this Saibota's body!"
This wasn't true. Yes, the Saibota had gained imprints from Wheatley's memories during the few seconds it pressed against his spinal cord, but it was merely toying with her. The question was, would she realize it?
Or would her loss traumatize her into accepting this thing as all that remained of Wheatley?
She couldn't say.
Or perhaps he was? Only one way to find out. A question only the real Wheatley would know.
"What's my favorite color?"
The Saibota slowly scratched his chin, pondering.
"Green?" he answered.
"Wrong! That was a trick question! I never told him my favorite color! You're not Wheatley, and you'll never be half the man he was!" With that, she departed from his bloody home, tears running down her blood-stained cheeks. She never told him her favorite color, and that's when she realized: they didn't even know each other so well.
"Sonya, I was just making a guess!" The Saibota paused for a moment, more of Wheatley's memories and personality being activated inside its tar-like body.
"I have no idea what your favorite color is. It's not like you ever gave a damn about me until one of them infected you. Even then, that was hormones, nothing more..." His voice held a subtle growl. "...but now I feel them too."
The Saibota Wheatley stepped towards the paralyzed Sonya, gently wrapping an arm around her. "We need to find the others. Where were they staying again?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know where they are staying? And how would you know about our relationship?"
"Sonya-"
"Beat it."
"So... what do you do for fun around here, Liu?"
"Mostly beat up training dummies."
Fusion rolled his eyes, putting his arm over Kagura's shoulder in an almost drunken manner. "You know, I think this could be a good thing. Look at it this way: the more Saibota, the more nerds'll have a girlfriend."
"I don't think so," Sorel scolded. She then slapped him hard on the cheek and kicked him in the balls. Again.
"AUGH! I thought I was finally going to have a relationship with someone for once..." Fusion started crying, holding Kagura tight as Ashrah looked on, her head cocked in curiosity.
"Do they always do this?"
"Sometimes."
She sighed. "I can feel the stress... I need to relieve it somehow. But how? HOW?"
Sorel's head snapped towards the demoness, saying, "Masturbate just like everyone else." She then walked to a crying Fusion, who was making it too obvious he was trying to get laid, and decided to comfort him. "Dude, you're not forty years old."
"If she's fine with it, why can't I do it?" His patheticness seemed to calm down a bit.
Kagura gave him a hug. "I myself am admittedly a bit curious as to how lying with you would feel, but now is not the time. Get your priorities straight, because if Sorel doesn't make you incapable of having sex, one of us will."
With that, he quickly got back up, his mind seemingly going to a military demeanor.
"Alright, ladies and gents... We need to go back to the house and check on everyone!"
The party nodded, Sorel still looking a bit disgusted as they teleported back to Wheatley's home...
The Saibota Wheatley sighed. His urges were almost unbearable, and it was pretty surprising that whatever was left of Wheatley inside the tar-like creature's body was still trying to cling to chastity. Gods, he must've been asexual or seriously sexually repressed as a child...
Slinking, his body began to loosely snuggle around Sonya, giving a sad sigh as his coils snuggled her lovely form. "It was never me, was it? You never loved me. You only loved these Saibota..."
"How would you know, and why do you care? You are a Saibota, and they're what dragged us into this mess. I'm done with this!"
"Sonya!"
"I said, 'Beat it!'"
The Saibota released its grip from around her body and began to cry tears of sincerity on the sidewalk, the teleporting party finally arriving.
"Holy shit..." Fusion ran over to the Saibota as Sonya quickly rushed towards the rest of them. "What happened?"
"I got control of this Saibota after it destroyed my body, but now Sonya hates me." Saibota Wheatley randomly grabbed a pillow and started hugging it tightly, gnawing on the top of it.
"Sorel, we should totally -"
"I don't even want to hear it."
Frustrated that his idea for a fanfic was shot down so easily, he turned back to the tar-like creature that housed the last memories of Wheatley anywhere in the realms. "Look, she just needs some time to get over it. But hey, if you can help me, I can help you."
"What're you thinking?"
"Well, you get me one of those Saibotas as a girlfriend, and I'll get you Sonya. Fair trade?"
"Deal."
The two shook on it before returning to the group...
Then a giant portal opened up over the house.
The orange discoloration of the portal began to shift to a deep purple as... something began to come through it. Something black. Something evil.
Something Saibota.
The group decided to head over to Sonya's house because Wheatley's reeked of hemoglobin and flesh. Oh, and he died in there, but it really stunk.
Sonya was most likely crying in her room because she decided to never pursue a love life or anything like that, and all her intentions of having a stable social life were abandoned. The group (except Fusion) was in her living room, sitting on the huge couch and watching TV, everyone having a different reaction to it. Liu and Sorel were simply uninterested in whatever they were watching, both Aura and Kagura were too distracted by the actual show, and Ashrah marveled at the television even more than she had worshipped the toaster in the kitchen.
Fusion strutted in, a smile that went ear to ear plastered on his face.
"What have you done now?" Sorel asked him.
"Oh, nothing much." She would never notice that one of the rooms in Sonya's house now had some black wallpaper. Noticing how intrigued that Kagura Aura, and Ashrah were by the technology, he perked up. "If you ladies want, I checked upstairs. There's a Nintendo Gamecube there, and I'd love to show you some of he games she has for it."
Meanwhile, Liu continued to relax. Sorel didn't seem that bad, and she at least wasn't as annoying as everyone else seemed to be. Then again, this was coming from someone so naïve, he never realized what was happening overhead.
Above the house, Saibota by the thousand began to pour over Earthrealm. Soon, they would infect every woman... and find a way to infect every man as well.
"It's raining," Sorel dully stated. "And don't tell me you're hyped up because you played on a Gamecube. What's going on?"
"I'm not going to say anything aside from that..." The barely legal adult gave a devious smile. "Onward, ladies! Metroid Prime awaits!"
Meanwhile, Liu was smoking an opium pipe in his mind, while Sonya wrapped an arm around him, still crying like a bitch over Wheatley's death.
Then she heard a dripping noise.
"It's raining," Liu stated. It didn't even affect the lieutenant in any way. They heard someone being slammed against the wall... and thought nothing of it.
"I know you're hiding something," Sorel snarled, holding Fusion against the wall (and his will) by the chest and neck. "Don't think you're gonna get anything by me. I know you. You're up to something."
The young man smiled before grabbing Sorel's wrists and pulling her hands away from him, swapping their positions.
"Well, yeah, but do you think it would make good fanfic material if I simply gave away my plans? I mean, seriously, where's the fun in that?" He backed away and left Sorel to her work. "It's raining, but there's not a cloud in the sky. You do that and take Liu Kang's mind off of being naive, and I'll take care of these three ladies."
With that, Fusion marched upstairs and took a seat next to the Saibotas and redeemed demoness. "Alright, so who's up for a little Metroid Prime?"
"What?"
"What is a Metroid Prime?"
"Um... How do we play?"
"You pick up the controllers and mash whatever buttons you have to mash!" Sorel yelled, making her cockblocking intentions way too obvious.
"The game has instructions with it. I'll help you ladies look over them when I come back." He turned and stepped outside the doorway with Sorel. "What the hell is your problem?"
"Look, I know you're up to something. Why won't you tell me?!" she whined. "Is it a secret? Because if it is, I promise not to tell. So tell me or you'll be infertile. Please?"
He sighed. There was no way he would be able to get her to stop. "Fine, I'll admit it. Ashrah... Ashrah's just someone who looks like she could use a friend. She's suffering right now, and I want to help her relieve some of that. Besides, she's hot."
Sorel sighed. "Fine. But there's something I thought I should tell you. I've been talking to Liu earlier, and according to him, you shouldn't have sex with someone who had given birth to a Saibota. And why are you-"
"Why am I what?" He placed his hand against the wall. "Look. I don't care if Ashrah's a level 55 ascended demoness or whatever the hell she is. Eventually, she's going to fall into her urges and try to fuck Liu. I'd rather keep her satiated now than deal with her madness later. Besides, maybe the next Saibota'll be independent like Aura and Kagura."
"How would you know how the Saibota will behave? Knowing you and your urges, it could simply try every second of every day to get laid. And why are you so desperate to have sex, anyways?"
"Because it's only logical how it'll behave. Apparently, something like what I described happened between Sonya and Wheatley. I don't want that to happen again. As for the second question... I've reached the legal age of doing it. I can finally ease off repressing the hormones that I've had to struggle with for years now."
He frowned, a tad agitated at his upbringing before he returned to the room, curling up next to Ashrah. "Be glad she doesn't have a Wii. That would be an absolute nightmare to play on."
"Hmph." She retreated to the living room, willing to watch TV when...
"HOLY SHIT! Liu's dead!"