Ginny frowned as she heard voices coming from her home office. She thought Harry must be fire-calling someone. She hesitated, wondering if he needed privacy, when she heard some familiar words.
"-should tell her, Harry. Ginny deserves to know just how you feel."
Ginny realised it was Hemione's voice she could hear. Seeing as how they were discussing her, she decided to go in.
Harry and Hermione jumped when she went in. "Ginny, hi," said Hermione, shooting Harry a glance.
"Hello Hermione. Did you want to see me or Harry?" asked Ginny.
"I-er, just wanted to drop Harry's keys for his car off. Ron drove it home, you see. Harry left it at ours the other day," explained Hermione.
Ginny frowned. "You left the 'vette at Ron and Hermione's for days? Then you let Ron drive it home? What's going on?"
Hermione opened her mouh but Harry beat her to it. "It's nothing. Ron wanted to take it for a spin, that's all."
"What were you talking about earlier? About Harry telling me something?" asked Ginny to Hermione.
Hermione looked at Harry, then Ginny. She shook her head. "Dunno, can't remember. Sorry."
Ginny narrowed her eyes. "You know, it's funny. It reminded me of conversation I overheard twenty years ago between you two. You telling Harry he should tell me something."
"You heard that?" gasped Hermione. Harry paled. Ginny nodded.
"I'm sorry Ginny. I just really thought it would help both of you if Harry told you he was in love with you before we left Hogwarts. Dumbledore always said love is our greatest strength," admitted Hermione.
"What? But Harry told you he wasn't in love with me, that I remember. In fact, I think his words were, 'I don't feel that way about her'" said Ginny, bitterly.
"He was lying. He was trying to protect you. He was worried if word got out he was in love with you, the Death Eaters would use you to get to Harry," said Hermione quickly.
"What?" gasped Ginny, taken aback.
"Hermione!" said Harry.
Ginny turned to Harry, shocked. "Harry?" she whispered. "Tell me it's not true."
Harry turned to Ginny, his eyes beseeching her to see why he did it. "I had to protect you. I did it for you." His voice was barely a whisper as he looked at her.
A lone tear ran down her face as she stared back at him, shocked. "No," said Ginny, shaking her head. "No."
"Gin, please, just give me a chance to-"begged Harry.
Ginny bowed her head. "Hermione, you should go."
Hermione looked worried. "Are you sure? I can-"
"GO! Now!" cried Ginny, raising her head to look at Hermione. Her eyes were filled with tears.
Still Hermione hesitated. The hurt palpitating around the room was unbearable. "I'm sorry if I've hurt you. Either of you. Ginny, I was just looking out for Harry. He's my friend and -"
Ginny scoffed. "I thought we were friends too, Hermione." Her eyes went back to Harry, whose gaze hadn't left her face.
"Oh, I didn't mean-"began Hermione.
"Hermione. Please, just go," said Ginny, tiredly.
Hermione looked over at Harry, but he was still watching Ginny. She sighed and flooed home, and spent the rest of the night worrying about them both.
The silence in the room was unbearable. Ginny broke it. "How long?" she asked.
Harry swallowed. "My sixth year. Probably that summer, but I didn't realise it till we were at Hogwarts."
"Yet you did nothing, told me nothing. Gave me no hints, no hope..." Ginny's voice trailed off as she remembered her fifth year.
Harry closed his eyes in frustration. "I did it to protect you." He stepped closer to her, alarmed when she stepped away. He gulped. "Gin?"
"Why did you get to have all the say? Why did you get to make all the decisions?" demanded Ginny quietly. Her quiet voice was even worse than if she was shrieking at him.
"What? No, I didn't mean it like that. Hell, if we got together back then, I would have broken up with you when we went on the Horcrux hunt anyway," said Harry.
"Would you? I guess we'll never know? Again, I wasn't consulted about these important decisions that concerned me!" stated Ginny calmly. Eerily calmly.
"You couldn't have come with us. You were under-age," yelled Harry.
"I would have bloody waited for you," screamed Ginny. "If I had an inkling of any chance to be with you, I would have waited. Forever if I had to!" screamed Ginny, barely aware of tears streaming down her face.
"Well I've had to wait twenty years," snapped Harry, taking a step closer to her.
"That was your choice," screamed Ginny, taking a step closer to him.
"I needed you to be safe," snarled Harry.
"So you could come home, and what? Confess to me you've loved me all that time? That's not fair Harry," said Ginny, angrily.
Harry took hold of her arms. "If he got to you...if he killed you because he knew about us...the bloody war would have ended differently, because if I lost you, I lost everything. I would have had nothing to fight for," admitted Harry.
Ginny gasped. "You did lose me. I turned to Cedric. I married Cedric," she said, breaking free of his hard embrace.
"I know." Harry bowed his head and let out a deep breath. "I hated him for loving you. Hated him and envied him."
Ginny backed away from Harry. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. "Don't. Please, stop what you're saying."
But Harry was relentless. The gate of his feelings that had been locked was now open and it all poured out.
"I wanted to kill him when I found out you were pregnant. I almost hoped like hell he'd forced you and that you wouldn't want to marry him. I was prepared to step up. I would have married you, been Matt's father," said Harry.
"Stop it, Harry," pleaded Ginny. Tears streamed down her face, and she hugged her arms around her middle.
"I got so bloody drunk the night I heard you married him. Woke up next to Cho. I have no idea how I came to be at her place, but it was obvious we did more than just sleep it off," said Harry.
"I don't want to hear this," said Ginny, shaking her head. Her body was shaking too.
"I couldn't believe it when they made me and Cedric partners. I wanted to tell them I couldn't be his partner, but what reason could I give? That I was in love with his wife, who was pregnant? Then to make matters worse, Cedric was such a bloody. Nice. Guy." snarled Harry, fisting the wall as he said the last three words.
"Cedric brought me into your life, and once I saw you again, I was like an addict. I imagined how it would be if it was me you were married to, me who you lived with. Me, who you were having a baby with," said Harry, breathlessly.
Harry turned away. "But it wasn't. It was Cedric. Cedric who got to feel your tummy grow big with your baby. Cedric who got to lay next to you at night. Cedric who-"
"Shut UP!" screamed Ginny. Harry turned back to her, finally noticing her shaking body.
"Don't you blame Cedric for any of this. This is all YOU!" screamed Ginny, pointing at him.
Harry gulped.
"I loved you. I loved you so much. When Dumbledore died I knew that you'd leave school, and I knew I couldn't go with you," cried Ginny.
"Don't you think I wanted to tell you? Don't you know you were the one who got me through that time, when Dumbledore died?" asked Harry.
Ginny shook her head. "No, Harry, I don't know that. I knew we were getting closer and closer, but when I heard you tell Hermione that I was only a friend, well, that was it. That was the moment I gave up on you."
Harry gasped, and swiped his hand over his tear filled eyes.
"I should say, tried to give up on you. When we were staying at the Diggory's. I was so down, so worried for the three of you. Cedric cheered me up; comforted me," said Ginny.
"I bet he did," sneered Harry.
"Stop it. He was being a friend. We got closer and closer. Then one day, he kissed me. I slapped his face and ran away from him. I felt so guilty, because he wasn't you," cried Ginny.
"Then it hit me. It was never going to be you. You didn't want me like that. You and I, we were friends, that's all. So I went back and apologised to him, and he forgave me. That's when we started being more than friends," said Ginny.
"You slept with him," raged Harry.
Ginny nodded slowly. "It kind of...just happened one night. I -I-" Her body shuddered.
"What?" said Harry.
"I always wanted it to be you. I'd only ever imagined it being you," she said. "My first, my last," she sobbed. "But you said we were friends, nothing more."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for saying that, baby. Please Gin," begged Harry. He reached out to take her in his arms.
"No, don't," said Ginny, rebuffing his embrace. "I think you should go."
"No. I want to stay and get this sorted out. I love you, Ginny. I have always loved you," said Harry, desperate for her to believe him.
"Then why is it only now that you've asked me out on a date. Why has it taken you ten years since my husband died? Merlin Harry, I talked to you about my worries about dating again, about sleeping with someone again. Why didn't you say anything then? Why date all those bimbos? Why?" screamed Ginny.
"I don't know. There was always something happening with the kids, we were always together anyway," said Harry.
Ginny shook her head, feeling drained. "You need to go, Harry."
"Ginny, please," begged Harry.
"Please Harry. I need to think, I need to deal with all this. Who else knows how you felt about me all this time? Hermione, obviously."said Ginny, bitterly.
"Uh, I told Lil the other night. Hermione probably told Ron," said Harry.
Ginny nodded and turned her back to him. "I see. Please, Harry, go."
Harry stared at her back. Her posture screamed 'DONT TOUCH' He took a breath.
"All right. I'm going, but only to give you some space. I just want you to know I never tried to come between you and Cedric.I was there for you when he died, for you and your kids. I did it all for you, Gin. I could see how much he loved you, and you him. I only ever wanted you to be happy."
"We were happy," said Ginny, her back still to him. She was shaking as shock set in.
"I know. But Cedric's gone, and I'm here. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I've made mistakes. I'm sorry if I've hurt you, believe me, that's the last thing I would ever want. I love you and I want us to be together. We're a family, all of us. Remember that," said Harry, softly.
Reluctantly he stepped into the floo and headed home.
Ginny started shaking and dropped to the ground. She burst into tears and curled herself into a small ball, crying until she fell asleep.
Estelle found her a while later, shrieking out to Matt. Ginny awoke, but assured her worried son that she didn't need to go to St Mungo's. She calmed down slightly, until Matt said he would get Harry to help her. The she started weeping again and shaking her head.
Matt carried her down to her room and stayed with her till she fell asleep again. Estelle was hovering, just wanting to help in any way.
Matt returned to his and Lily's house, deciding not to say anything to Lily. Estelle made a cup of tea and took it to Ginny's room. She found Ginny awake, just lying numbly in her bed..
"You scared the hell out of us, Ginny. What happened?" she asked.
Ginny took the tea gratefully and sipped it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone."
Estelle looked grumpy. "In other words, mind my own business." She got up to leave.
Ginny grabbed her hand. "It's not that. Really, I just need to think over some things."
"Do you want me to get Harry? I don't want him to find out you were like that, and we didn't call him," suggested Estelle.
Ginny shook her head. "No, it's fine. Harry's...busy with work. I'll be fine. A good night sleep and a fresh prospective in the morning, yeah?"
Estelle looked doubtful. "All right, but you come and get me if you need me. Any time."
"I will. Thank you," said Ginny. Estelle reminded her then of her own mother.
Ginny had a very restless night. At times she'd get angry with Harry for leaving it so long to tell her how he felt. She was also angry at the fact that other people had known how he felt about her, and said nothing to her. People she loved and trusted.
Other times she'd weep for the life they could have had together, which also made her feel guilty, because that would mean neither her kids or Harry's Lily would have existed.
Then she'd damn Harry for making her feel guilty. It was a night of re-living her memories over and over, wondering if she had missed a sign from Harry as to how he felt, somewhere in the last twenty years. That wasn't her biggest worry though.
She got up late, not wanting to answer any questions. She hoped Matt was with Lily at their place. She got up and went to the kitchen, not bothering to brush her hair or wash her face.
Unfortunately, Matt was sitting at the table talking to Estelle. Ginny presumed they were talking about her, as they stopped as she came in. Ginny ignored them and went straight to the coffee pot.
"Morning Mum," called a worried Matt. "Er, how are you feeling this morning?" He and Estelle tactfully didn't mention her red eyes and her unkempt appearance.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry if I worried you both," said Ginny, sipping her coffee.
"Want some breakfast. I can make you pancakes," offered Estelle.
"I'm not really hungry" she said, the thought of food making her feel ill.
"I'll be hanging around home today if you need me, Mum," said Matt.
Ginny patted her son on his arm as she went past him. "Thanks love, but I think I'll go out for a bit. I don't plan on working today." She continued down the hall into her bedroom.
Estelle and Matt exchanged worried looks. "Do you think we should call Harry?" asked Matt.
"Let's see how the rest of the day goes," said Estelle, "although if he fire-calls or floos, we can tell him then."
"Okay. I'll be home with Lil if anything happens, Estelle," said Matt. He got up and left the house.
Estelle sighed. "Such a good boy. Just like his father." She picked up Ginny's coffee cup and went over to start the dishes.
HGHGHG
Ginny Apparated to the edge of the Weasley property, and started walking to the Ottery St Catchpole markets. It was a walk she had done many times with her mother when she was a little girl, and she found it soothing to remember.
The walk didn't take as long as she remembered. She ambled around, before going to the florist stall. She picked up a lovely bouquet of colourful flowers and paid the owner.
She walked away and headed for Luna's house. When she was at the boundaries of the Lovegood place, she Apparated to the cemetery. She soon found her way to a familiar spot. Cedric's grave-site.
Seeing as no-one was around, she used her wand to remove some over-grown grass and weeds that had cropped up around the gravesite. She lay the flowers down, and knelt down in front of it.
"Hello, love. I know I'm a month early for your birthday. I just really wanted to talk to you."
Ginny sighed, trying to find the right words. "Our Matt is married, and going to be a father himself. You were right, him and Lily did end up together. How many times did we laugh about it? They married on September first and she's due in April. Can you believe I'm going to be a grandmother at thirty-five? I was not happy about that, let me tell you."
Ginny half laughed and half sniffed in annoyance.
"Jen stayed back for the wedding. Headmistress Mcgonagall came for the wedding, and took her back to Hogwarts with her. I really must send her a thank you letter for that. Of course, Jen is thrilled she'd going to be an aunt, and has already promised to babysit for them. I think she'll change her mind after one dirty nappy, though."
Ginny could picture Cedric laughing, his eyes crinkling.
"Speaking of Jen, your daughter is heading for that time you dreaded. Yes, she has discovered boys. Hogwarts are having a Yule Ball and I spent a day scouring the malls looking for the perfect dress with her. Oh Ced, she looked so pretty in it. Our little girl is growing up. Please watch over her for me when she's at Hogwarts."
Ginny took a deep breath and tried to explain the real reason she was here today.
"I've fallen in love, Ced, and I wanted to come and tell you. Maybe I should say I've fallen back in love. It's Harry."
A wind blew, and Ginny pulled the thin cardigan she was wearing closer to her.
"I've told you many times how great he's been, helping me out with the kids and sorting my life out after you were gone. We've spent a lot of time together and recently Harry asked me out on a date."
Ginny bowed her head, then looked back at the headstone. "It was strange, going from best friends to lovers. But then again, it wasn't. It felt like the most right thing in the world."
Ginny picked up a long strand of grass. She twirled it around her finger so tight the tip went red, then white. She slowly unwrapped it.
"All those years ago, when we came to stay with your family, I told you about Harry. How I felt, what I heard him say. How much it hurt me. You helped me to get over him, to move forward. I don't think I ever thanked you for that."
"I just found out that Harry still loves me, has ALWAYS loved me. I have to admit I didn't find the news very welcoming at first, in fact, I would say I felt angry and sad. I've had a very restless night thinking about it all."
Ginny tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. "I wouldn't trade my life with you for anything. We married, and despite what everyone thought, we were happy together, and had a good life. We have two amazing children who are happy and healthy. I thank God for them everyday. I'm just sorry you're not here to be a part of that, but then again, we wouldn't be having this conversation if you were here."
"I hope I was a good wife to you. I hope I made you happy, me and the kids. Most of all I hope you know that I never, EVER betrayed our marriage vows, not by thought or deed. For as long as we were married, it was only ever you."
Ginny breathed deep, glad to get all that off her chest. Already she felt lighter; freer. Free to go talk to Harry. She stood up, and a tear ran down her face.
"I have to go. There are people I need to talk to. I just wanted to tell you first. Goodbye Ced, see you next month for your birthday." Ginny took a moment to picture Cedric's happy face in her mind.
"He knew, you know."
Ginny spun around. Estelle stood a distance away, but was walking towards her.
"Knew what?" asked Ginny.
"How Harry felt," said Estelle. "It's why he asked Harry to look after you and the kids if anything happened to him."
"They were best friends and partners. I thought that's why he asked Harry that," said Ginny.
Estelle shook her head. "I remember that night. Jenna had a fever, and she'd been crying non stop for hours. She finally stopped about eleven, and you just crashed after that. So when they both fell through the floo after midnight, drunk as anything, I wasn't about to wake you."
"That's right, they were celebrating the end of that terrible case they had been on, the one that was kidnapping young children from orphanages and selling them into slavery, doing who knows what. I know both Harry and Ced found it a difficult case," remembered Ginny.
"I heard Cedric ask Harry to look after you and the kids if anything happened to him. He told Harry he was the brother he never had," admitted Estelle.
Ginny was touched, and knew Harry would have been too.
"Harry promised he would look after the kids, and asked him to do the same with Lily. He didn't want Lily's mother getting her hands on her. He told Cedric he was honoured to be partnered with him," said Estelle.
Ginny's eyes filled with tears. She loved both of those men dearly, and was happy that they were such good friends.
Estelle took Ginny's hands in hers. "Then Cedric told Harry he was the only one who could look after you, because Harry loved you as much as he did. Harry froze, but then promised. The two of them hugged, then they both passed out."
Ginny sucked in a harsh breath. "Estelle, you have to tell me. Did I ever, EVER, look at Harry, or give any indication that I was still in love with him. It kills me to wonder if Ced thought that something had happened between us. It never did, I swear, Estelle," she cried, tears running down her face.
Estelle shook her head. "No, love. You were a good wife. You and Cedric had a good marriage. And you both were a good friend to Harry, and he to you both."
Ginny cried. "We did have a good marriage, didn't we. Why did he have to die? Why?"
Estelle took her in her arms and let her cry. "Hush now. It's been ten years, you need to let that go and look forward. You and Harry are good together, have always been good together. I always wondered why it took you so long to see what was right in front of you all this time."
Ginny laughed harshly. "Maybe I had my head buried in the sand, or maybe I just pushed my feelings aside, I don't know. I love him and need him in my life. I want to share the rest of my life with him."
"Then what are you waiting for? Go, talk to the man. Put him out of his misery. Merlin, I can't wait to see your mothers face when you tell her there's going ot be another wedding," chuckled Estelle.
Ginny shot her a look. "Let's not get carried away, Estelle. After pulling off the incredible wedding for Matt and Lily at the last minute, and all the hoo-ha with Teddy and Vicki's, I think my Mum's earned a rest from weddings for awhile. Besides, Harry and I might choose to live in sin," winked Ginny.
"Over my dead body," muttered Estelle, as they walked to the entrance of the cemetery.
"Funny thing to say in a cemetery, Estelle," grinned Ginny.
"That's enough cheek from you. Go, find Harry. I'll be at home, making myself quite discreet," said Estelle, hugging the younger woman she loved like her own daughter.
"Thank you Estelle. You've been a gift to me over these last years, and if I haven't said it before, I appreciate all you do for our family. Our family," she emphasised, pointing between herself and the older woman.
Estelle shook her head. " You've blessed me by letting me help you when Matt was born. Living with you, Cedric and the children was my happiest time, and I'm glad I was able to help you through that horrible time when we lost our Cedric and then Mr Amos."
Ginny took Estelle's hands again. "You were more than a nanny and housekeeper to Cedric. While he loved his mother, she was always so sickly. It was no wonder she passed at such a young age. No, I know Cedric loved you like a mother, and our kids certainly love you like a grandmother. We're very lucky to have you in our lives."
"And now there's a new generation coming through," said Estelle, smiling in satisfaction as she swiped some tears away.
"And you'll show Matt and Lily the way, just like you did me and Cedric," said Ginny.
"I think I told you before, it's not too late for you to have more children," said Estelle.
Ginny laughed. "I'm going to be a grandmother, Estelle. Grandmothers don't have babies. Bye."
Ginny Apparated away.
"Grandmothers who are only thirty five can," argued Estelle to herself. "I'll have to see what Harry thinks about it."
She Apparated home.