Oh dear Chuck I am so sorry. I was doing so well! Sorry this chapter is so ridiculously late. Apparently, my motivation completely runs dry when you leave me to the summer holidays. Alas, results day nerves drove me on! (And then I just didn't post it for a week) The last chapter is here! Hoorah.
This chapter goes out to Snovolac! Who reviewed almost every chapter of this story. Thanks pal! If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have bothered finishing this! For one last time, Enjoy!
The Avengers charged. Wind billowed in Sam's hair. Cas-Vision flew above them. The streets were filled with the warrior cries of the Scarlett Witch and Kevin, with his new Captain America shield. Crowley-Hulk's hissy fit roar soon joined them. Not to mention AC/DC's Back in Black coming from Dean's new Iron Man suit. They were ready to fight these crazy aliens together. They were going to fight these crazy aliens with style.
The aliens noticed their charge. Turning around with the only sort of faceless confusion they could muster. The Avengers had their weapons raised. A few aliens raised their spears. The battle was imminent.
The Avengers noticed the change in the alien's focus – not the man in the dressing gown who appeared amongst the greenish grey things. They only noticed Director Chuck when he clicked his fingers and the aliens fell to the floor.
"Hey guys," he had a fresh cup of coffee and still didn't seem very bothered by any aspects of the insane apocalypse around him. "Good job."
"What the hell was that?" Kevin looked at the aliens on the floor, which were now fading into nothing. He was personally offended by how little this day was correlating with basic physics.
"Who wants aliens everywhere?" Chuck shrugged. He clicked his fingers again, and Crowley-Hulk returned to regular-sized Crowley. Standing in nothing but his satin underwear and socks. He didn't look happy.
"We were ready to fight." Sam said. Dean almost spoke over him, he sounded a lot angrier for not being able to test out the Iron Man suit some more.
"That was our fight!"
"Where's Loki?" Charlie could refocus. "We need to finish him off."
Chuck considered the group for a moment. He took a casual step back, towards the building they could only guess sheltered Loki.
"Don't worry about it." Chuck dismissed. "I'll take care of it. You've done enough for a day."
Before the Avengers could argue, Chuck strolled into the building. When they tried to ignore his orders, burst into the room as back-up, the door was locked.
"Dad." Gabriel stood in the middle of the room. It looked like it was halfway through refurbishment. It could've just been down to the candy storms and explosions of the day. Wallpaper was peeling and ripped. Rubble filled the room. Chuck stopped a few feet away from Gabriel. He took a sip of coffee.
"Gabriel," Maybe Chuck was waiting for Gabriel to say something else. He didn't. "Don't you think creating a whole new world was a bit over the top to prove a point?"
"Oh, so you know what the point is?" Gabriel didn't sound like he believed him.
"You're annoyed that I haven't brought you back from the dead."
"I'm not dead." Gabriel said, irked. "I'm not alive exactly, I'm not dead, though. How else could I do this?"
A monkey on a unicycle appeared, juggling bottles of beer. Gabriel swept a hand through the air and it vanished.
"You came back to earth, dad! No one thought that was ever going to happen. You needed archangels. You made everything harder for yourself just so you could keep your world's worst dad title."
With that, Gabriel clicked and the mug in Chuck's hand shattered to pieces with a burst of coffee. Thunder rolled as Chuck's features darkened. The edge to his voice was fierce.
"So this is another one of your "play your roles" experiments? Is that why everyone was cast as the wrong Avengers to start with?"
Chuck clicked. Loki's sceptre disintegrated into salt. Gabriel raised his eyebrows, his anger with Chuck deepened.
"Excuse me? I thought I got my creativity from you. Clearly, all that time avoiding your responsibility made you uncultured swine."
"You got everything from me." Chuck's fury grew to match Gabriel's again. "But come on! How is Crowley Iron Man?"
Gabriel scoffed.
"Tony Stark has a dry humour, style, he wears suits - of course, he's Crowley."
"That's all you're basing this on? Suits?" Chuck scoffed back. An army of kittens appeared behind him. "It's so much more logical for the murderous monster consumed by rage that's got a soft side and who no one takes seriously to be The Hulk."
"Pfft. Dean might have the bravado for Iron Man but I maintain Crowley makes more sense."
The kittens charged, tackling Gabriel in a herd of meows.
"You're kidding? The engineer who loves rock music isn't Iron Man? You should know better."
Gabriel shook off the kittens. One by one, they turned into smurfs.
"You always looked down on my ideas. What did the dodo ever do to you?"
"I'm sorry, Gabriel. That wasn't personal. They were out of control."
"Yeah, right."
The army charged back to Chuck. Now a flood of angry smurfs. Chuck clicked them away and took a measured breath.
"Fine. What about Kevin?"
Gabriel shrugged.
"I needed a Hawkeye. They're both expendable. Can you blame me?"
Thunder rolled outside again, loud and clear, as Chuck's eyes went wide with fury.
"Expendable?" A box of noodles showered Gabriel's head. "That's one of my prophets you're talking about. Kevin was one of the best, most loyal, and dedicated prophets I ever had. No matter how exhausted he got."
"But he's still a prophet!One dies, another comes along! I was stuck between him and Donatello."
"You know what screw you." The force in which he sent the pizza into Gabriel made him stagger back a little. "Hawkeye was always my favourite. He got to where he is through hard work. He keeps up with superheroes despite being a regular guy. He's handicapped. He's relatable."
"Relatable?" Gabriel scoffed. "You are neither handicapped nor a regular guy. Everything you do is through a click of your damn fingers."
With that, Gabriel clicked his fingers again. Chuck was dosed with a pile of sherbet.
"Like father, like son." Chuck shook the sherbet from his hair. "Kevin works as Hawkeye on the hard work front but he's the perfect Captain America. Like I said; dedicated, loyal, ambitious. CAP."
"And a Hydra Agent?" Gabriel smirked, pulling an issue of Captain America out of thin air and flicking through the horror that was that storyline. Chuck glanced between the two.
"Dammit, Gabe, I knew that was you!"
"Apparently, not. Apparently, I'm too dead to be doing anything of note."
"You are!" Chuck showered Gabriel with doughnuts. "This world is all of your energy you have left! Even the real Loki could send visions when he was strapped to a table under all that snake venom."
"Don't Norse folklore me, dad! This is Marvelverse!"
Gabriel swung a giant lollipop through the air. It stuck to Chuck's sherbet.
"I couldn't heal you. There wasn't time!"
A river of bacon tumbled between them, Gabriel slipped on the grease. He yelled as he fell
"You're God!"
He scrambled to his feet, a gun appeared in his hand, pelleting Chuck with hard candy as he fired.
"I was dying!"
"SO AM I!" A cream pie flew across the room. Hitting Chuck squarely in the face.
The two celestial beings continued to debate the practicality of the Lord interfering with life and death. Fate and Destiny. But, hey, Gabriel was almost dead somewhere in the real world. Chuck was really talking things out with his sister on their bunk bed in the sky. Father and Son would fight things out. Eventually, Gabriel would get bored with this world and it would dwindle back into reality. The Avengers wouldn't know any difference. Every family had their arguments. Sometimes they led to three apocalypses in a week.
The Avengers had come to terms with the fact that there wouldn't be a big showdown fight with millions of dollars of city damage. They lay about or slouched on the rubble of the street, waiting for Loki or Director Chuck to come out victorious. The sky was darkening. Somewhere, there was thunder.
After a few minutes of Dean talking about this food that he wanted to try. Because he still needed to find out more stuff about the future. And now Sam had to get used to it all too. He really wanted to try this new food. After all that, Crowley had snapped in frustration, gone a little green, and then stole Sam's stolen motorbike to go get this thing called Shwarma.
The group picked at it now. Sometimes in silence. Sometimes talking about absolutely nothing.
"You know what I've always wanted?" Dean mused. "Since coming to the future anyway, this car I saw once – 1967 Chevvy Impala. Black. I'm gonna get one."
"So what?" Crowley asked, clearly unimpressed. "The New Iron Man and the guy who possesses the power of Thor are going to use their powers to go road tripping?"
"What's wrong with traveling the country a little? Even if we do ignore orders whilst doing it?" Sam pointed out. "I'm due a break."
"We'll find something to do." Dean agreed. "Saving People. Avenging Things. The Wayward's Business."
Well, that's all folks! It's been a blast! I still can't believe I actually finished all this and updated at regular intervals(ish)! Was this story just one massive rant of denial about the lack of Gabriel in the latest seasons? Maybe…Did I start writing before I had an actual plot? Definitely maybe…And yet it's still the most fun I've ever had writing a fan fiction. Mainly because I didn't put much effort into it. So I apologise for any substandard. I'm aware of a lot of the typo's you've had to suffer through. I could say I'll edit it properly one day, but chances are that would be a lie.
Thanks for reading.
Toodle-pip (forever)(for this story, anyway)