Ch 10: Celebrity Couple

Rukia walked slowly back towards the Kurosaki house. "How to get Ichigo back to soul society?" There was no way she was going back to seireitei all alone. Byakuya was going to be furious. Rukia exhaled slowly and looked up at sun hanging low in the afternoon sky. She was almost there and still no solution. Rukia's feet stopped at the curb and looked up. Inside, a light was on in Ichigo's room. "Hmm…I just need to get him there." She said to herself. "If only I could call on a masked bandit to kidnap him like in those TV dramas". A light bulb went off in Rukia's head. It appeared that that strange moving picture box was useful after all. Ducking out of view she slinked around the house to the clinic.

Ichigo sat at his desk looking at his textbook. It was no use, nothing was going into his head. All he could think about was what people must be saying in soul society. He could never go back there now. Byakuya or possibly Renji would kill him for sure. He grunted and absent mindedly turned the page. A happy Chappy the bunny smiled up from the margin. Ichigo slammed the book shut.

"Damn that troublesome midget!" Turning off his light he flopped onto his bed to try and get some sleep.

Rukia saw the light go out. A sly smile crept across her face. She decided to wait 15 minutes. Ichigo was usually asleep in 10 but she wanted to be sure. Sitting in the tree outside she waited, weapon in hand. Minutes ticked by slowly. Rukai glanced down at her phone, "16 miuntes, that should be enough." Silent as a mouse she slid open the window and peered inside. Ichigo lay sprawled on his bed, mouth open, and eyes closed in peaceful slumber…completely vulnerable.

Rukia doused the small rag with a sedative she stole from the clinic and crept over to her blissfully unaware target. Gently, she eased onto the bed. "Would this really work like in the movies?" It seemed a bit extreme but there was no way he would go willingly. Ichigo snorted in his sleep as if agreeing. Rukia smirked, that decided it. She leaned over a bit more, stretching out her arm to position the rag near his face. She hesitated for a moment and Ichigo took that chance to rolled over towards the dip she created in the mattress. Rukia nearly dropped the cloth in consternation as Ichigo had rolled right into her lap. The shifting mattress caused her to lose her balance and nearly topple on to him. Throwing out her arms, she caught herself. Her breath came out in rapid shallow pants and her heart hammered against her chest. Ahdrenaline high, she held herself perfectly still above Ichigo waiting to calm herself and ascertain if the sudden movement had awakened him. Minutes ticked by and Rukia remained precariously perched with one hand on either side of Ichigo's bring ornage head; her body hovering just above his. Her muscles protested the odd position and Ichigo lay motionless below her comfortably wrapped deep in slumber.

Rukia stole a glance at his face, it was relaxed with a tiny curl of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He looked almost sweet and at the same time she wanted to slap that self-satisfied smirk right off his face. How dare he put her in this awkward position, and while he was asleep no less! As if responding to her very thouhgts, Ichigo's arms reached out and wrapped around her. Rukia was frozen in shock. The awkward angle at which she was leaning and the pressure of his arms pulled her down against him. Rukia's face flushed hot. Ichigo's nuzzled his nose into her side contentedly as Rukia let out a strangled squeak.

"hmm.." Ichigo mumbled something incoherent into the fabric of her shihakusho. Rukia tried to pull away but the sleeping Ichigo seemed to have other ideas. This was not going as planned. Rukia shifted again looking for better leverage when Ichigo groaned and shifted beneath her. Rukia fell deadly still. Not even a puff of breath escaped her lips as she waited anxiously. "please fall back asleep, please!" Rukia repeated like a mantra in her head. Rukia's large purple eyes intently watched Ichigo's face, he was so close she could see the individual lashes of his closed eyelids. His eyebrows furrowed and his lashes fluttered, it seemed Ichigo was beginning to come around.

"Crap!" Rukia panicked. She grabbed the rag and pressed it against Ichigo's face covering his nose, mouth, and eyes. Hopefully he will not remember any of this, Rukia thought. Ichigo struggled a bit but a binding spell combined with the drug soon took effect. Ichigo's arms went limp and Rukia managed to slip out of his embrace.

Quickly moving off of the bed she took a moment to collect her thoughts. He would be out for a good while. All I need is to sneak him into seireitei. Carefully arranging his body on the bed she slipped on her skull glove and pulled Ichigo's spirit form out of this body. Too bad spirit forms were not any lighter than normal bodies.

Rukia wrapped Ichigo up in blankets and rolled him like a burrito then placed him on a small wheeled cart she had found in the clinic when getting the sedative. All the pieces in place she rolled Ichigo throught the gate and started for Soul society.

~*~ Seireitei ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rukia emerged sweaty and tired. The path was a lot rougher than anticipated and after losing a wheel half way through the back corner for the cart had slumped into the rocky path making it even more difficult to pull Ichigo through.

It was still dark in seireitei when Rukai arrived. The first bit of lavender light was just beginning to glow along the horizon. Rukia set the cart down and took a deep breath of cool early morning air. There would be no dragging a dinged up cart down the streets of seireitei. She was relieved the screeching had not awoken Ichigo's drug induced sleep but here it would surely attract a crowd.

Rukia pulled the cart behind a bush intending to come back for it later. Running a hand through her hair she took one last deep breath then heaved at the blanket wrapped Ichigo placing most of his weight on her back. Trudging through the streets like a hobbled old lady, she began to question the sanity of her plan. Where would she take Ichigo until he woke up? Her mind raced through the possibilities, back to the Kuchiki manor? "Ridiculous!" There was no way her brother would not find her out. She could always just present Nii-sama with a comatose Ichigo blanket burrito. "Here Nii-sama it was his fault, please punish him as you see fit…oh and could you have him back to me in a few hours, he is supposed to be grounded?"

No, the Kuchikik manor was out of the question. "Where else could she store him?" Ukitake had always been a kind and understanding captain. Rukai decided that was her best option. She turned the corner toward the 13th division. She had not made it more than 10 steps before the sound of voices reached her. She ducked into the shadows. Two small timid looking shinigami came out from a nearby cross street. Each held a thin broom and were cleaning the gutters along the streets. Their voices carried clearly in the crisp early morning air.

"Ahhh…it is so early!" One complained covering her mouth as she yawned. "I can't wait to get promoted out of street sweeping duty"

"So you can do what? Sewer cleaning?" The other asked sarcastically.

"At least that is a later shift and I can sleep in!" the girl responded as she picked up a bit of trash and stuffed it in her bag.

Rukia watched with a sinking heart as they came in her direction. She had forgotten about the division 4 clean-up crew. She could not run away with this fat lump of an Ichigo on her back. She carefully laid him down in the darkest corner and tucked the blanket around his head to hide the outrageous orange hair. If it all went as planned they would think he was some abandoned trash and perhaps leave him for collection later.

Rukia gave Ichio one last pat and shunpoed to the roofed wall overhead to watch. The two proceed slowly down the street sweeping and chatting intermittently. The girl saw Ichigo first. "Masa!" She yelped hugging her broom. "What is that huge lump over there by the wall" Her voice quavered. "Is it…a..a…hollow?" She took a step back.

"Huh? Where?" the boy asked, eyes wide. The girl pointed at the blanketed lump.

"I don't think so…I mean someone would have noticed, right?" Masa stammered as he edged closer, broom held against his chest defensively. Gingerly, he reached out the handle and poked the blanket with his broom.

"Kyaa!" the girl shrieked. At her scream, Masa dropped the broom, it clattered to the ground. The blanket was still and the broom rolled harmlessly to one side as the two shinigami held on to one another for dear life. Silence.

"Stupid! It's just some old rug or something."Masa snorted pushing the girl away. Gaining confidence the boy walked over to it and kicked it. Rukia winced. "Sorry Ichigo…"

"Who would leave something like that here?" The girl asked picking up her broom. She used the bristled end to brush at the blanket, a frayed thread snagged in the broom bristles pulling back part of the blanket to reveal a bright stock of orange hair. "Masa! It's a dead body!" she yelped.

Quickly, the pair unrolled Ichigo. "Wrong again, dummy" the boy chided. "He is still breathing but it does seems he has been poisoned."

"Oh my! We need to take him back to the hospital ward!" the girl chirped pulling back a bit more blanket to inspect Ichigo's face. "Hey! Wait a minute. I know this guy." She said looking intently at the still sleeping face.

"Yeah, he was on the cover of the soul society paper a few weeks ago and if rumors are true this week was well!" She giggled mischievously.

Masa turned a disgusted face at her girlish glee. "You mean that flaming idiot of a substitute shinigami?" He asked glowering down.

The girl tossed her broom at him. "Don't be jealous! Just 'cause you aren't popular with the ladies doesn't mean he can't be." She gingerly touched his hair.

"Hmm, he is actually pretty good looking in person; even better than in that photo." She said leaning in for a closer look.

"Alright already! Stop making out with the semi-dead guy or I'll report you!" Masa barked. The girl jumped back blushing.

"I was not going to…aww, shut up Masa" She fumed as she covered Ichigo back up and picked up her broom. "Help me carry him, we can't just leave someone this well known lying in the street." The two tugged and strained, and somehow managed to lug the body away.

~*~ Division 4: Hospital Ward ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hanatarou stood guard at Ichigo's door, as a mass of curious on lookers pressed in all around trying to get a peek inside. Hantarou gentle moved a young shinigami academy student away from the door.

"Please!" Hanatarou said in a placating voice. "Mr. Kurosaki needs his rest…" no one was paying any attention. It had been like this as soon as word got out that Ichigo was back. Female and male shinigami of all ages were thronging to division 4 to see the new celebrity.

"Did Byakuya-san beat him up for the Rukia affair?" A girl with glasses voiced to a friend and the crowd in general.

"I heard it was Renji! It's a love triangle…" Another female voice chimed-in.

A deep baritone interrupted, "Yeah, Renji is so infatuated with Ichigo he decided to kill him rather than let Rukia have him!" The voice belonged to a tall lanky male with shoulder length wavy blonde hair. Striking a pose he held a handkerchief to his face as if scandalized. "I think I shall faint" He called sliding into a bench along the wall. The girls all around him chirped and chattered in alarm.

Rukia watched the growing crowd with apprehension. This plan had gone all wrong instead of sneaking in, Ichigo had somehow managed to cause a commotion without even being sentient at the time. "Damn that troublesome idiot!" She cursed under her breath. Dashing across the roof she look out on the backside of the building. A floor below her was a window opening into the same room Ichigo was in. "Jackpot!" The window had been left open a crack to let in the warm early afternoon air. Carefully sliding over the edge, she landed on the sill and creeped into the room.

Ichigo lay in a clean white bed, still sleeping as soundly as ever. A frown crossed Rukia's brow. Had she used too much sedative? Movies were not specific on amounts just a good douse on a rag. A bit concerned, she hurried to the bedside. His breathing was regular. She placed a small pale hand on his chest. The even thumping of his heart was still palpable. She sighed a little relieved.

Outside, the muffled sounds of the crowd dimmed than rose in a collective gasp. Suddenly the door shot open and Hanatarou came trudging through with a tall blond man draped over his shoulder. The man appeared to be unconscious.

"Miss Rukia!" Hanatarou said in shock. Mouth hanging open in a shock. At her name, Hanatarou's "patient" opened is eyes and looked up.

"Oh my gawd! The Kuchiki party princess!" The blond exclaimed eyes a-gleam. "What a scoop!" He jumped up, perfectly recovered from his faint. An excited rumble came from the door. All heads were craning to look into the room. All of the eyes were trained on Rukia as she stood beside Ichigo's bed, hand placed lovingly against his heart. Realizing how this must look, Rukia jerked her hand away as if Ichigo were a hot oven burner. Too late, a flash blinked from the doorway.

Without Hanatarou to stand guard and excited by the possibility of seeing the "couple" together the crowd rushed the door. Hanatarou's pleas were drowned out as he was swept against the wall by the river of people streaming in. Rukia stared wide-eyed as the crowd surged forward in slow motion before her. Arms flailing and voices fawning the mob descended, a few flashes popping white stars before Rukia's eyes. Uncertain, she took a moment to look down at Ichigo. As if sensing danger, his eyes fluttered open and hazy golden brown met wide overwhelmed indigo purple. He wrinkled his brow in confusion and was about to ask her a question but the noise of the crowd caught his attention. Turning his head, he saw the fan girl/boy mob headed by a crazed blond male rushing straight at him.

Rukia grabbed his hand. "No time to explain!" She tugged Ichigo up into a seated position. "Come with me!" She ordered. Pulling him off the bed, she prayed his legs still worked. More squeals errupted from behind her but all she cared about at the moment was getting to the window and out of this room. She placed one leg up onto the window sill as she tugged a sluggish Ichigo up with her.

The crowd stopped their stampede in excited anticipation. "They're going to jump!" The brunette called to the breathless crowd. A few gasps were heard in the now rapt audience.

"A lover's suicide!" A girl cooed. Rukia blanched. This was just getting worse and worse. She looked over at Ichigo. His confused gaze flickering between the crowd and Rukia.

"Jump!" Rukia commanded as she pulled him through the window and away from the oogling crowd. That much Ichigo understood and the two took a powerful leap out the window and into the shady courtyard. Rukia spun in mid air and landed in a roll. Ichigo landed clumsily on his feet but unstable he fell forward onto his hands.. Standing up they looked back at the window. A mass of faces stared down at them smiling giddily, some cheering.

"What the hell is going on Rukia?" Ichigo demanded as a girl blew him a kiss from the window. Rukia saw another flash go off up above and could hear voices calling to head for the stairs.

"Now is not the time" she took a firm hold of Ichigo's sleeve and pulled him in the direction of squad 13. "I will explain once we are away from these…fanatics."

"All I know is you better have a damn good reason why I went from being grounded in my room to chased down by mad shinigami fan girls"

"..and boys!" Rukia added helpfully as they dashed down the streets of seireitei.

A/N: My laptop is currently dead. A moment of silence please. (. . .)

Ok, so a new chapter is complete (on library computers, and this creepy old man has been giving me the evil eye for taking so long). Anyway, at this point I have no idea where I am going with this story just making it up as I go along. Actually, that has been true for about the last 3 chapters. So suggestions are welcomed; as are comments of any kind. I hope people are still reading and find it funny. Now that it is summer I should be updating more frequently but that may depend on the whole laptop/ creepy library man situtation.

Thanks to all who reviewed! ^_^