Chris sniffed and said to the set, "Alright, I'm ready now! Let's cut to the Chef! I mean, the chase!"
"And Take 2!" a cast member yelled.
Chris wiped his eyes and said, "Last time on Total Drama: Brains, Brawn, and Bacon! I mean, Beauty!
"Five of the Brawn made it to the merge, three Dogs, and three Cranes!
"Cardinal, Jacob, and Sapphire didn't make the cut! The cut... The cut!"
He started crying again. This time, I was the one saying "Cut". Obikinoah (me) rushed over. "What's wrong?" I asked. "It's nothing... Just no more food references!" he sobbed.
"Alright..." I said, "Take 3: From 'the cut'!"
Chris started, "The eleven remaining contestants are now one team! Who's gonna go next? Find out on Total Drama... Brains, Brawn, and Beauty! Cut to the title sequence!"
Chris is having assistants put on makeup, the screen cuts to the Beauty team, surrounded by makeup crews, too
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
Opal shoves her makeup artist, then fake smiles
You guys are on my mind
Corbin is laughing, and winks at Lucina, who is looking up from her book
You asked me what I wanted to be
She throws her book, hitting Cardinal in the head. Cardinal shakes his fist at her, at opens his mouth
And now I think the answer is plain to see
Chef dumps a spoonful of... something into Cardinal's mouth, Cardinal turns, gagging
I wanna be... famous...
Emma pushes away a plate of Chef's "food" and turns to look out a window, where she can see Tai Chang lifting a log by the stream
I wanna live close to the sun...
Griff is doing push-ups, and a white splatter lands on his head
Well pack your bags, 'cuz I've already won...
A bird flies back to Sapphire, who snickers
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...
Arnold jumps out of a tree, and Brooke runs out of a cave, chased by a bear.
I'll get there one day...
Jacob swings down out of nowhere and kicks the bear back.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Cameras surround Ella, who strikes a few poses, and pushes Jaedyn into the spotlight, who blushes an pulls her sweater neck over her mouth
I wanna be.. I wanna be... I wanna be famous!
Loco and Rory sit up from an arm wrestling match, Rory grabs his arm, and Tara blows a whistle
I wanna be... I wanna be... I wanna be famous!
The screen cuts to the campfire elimination area, where Caeden and Dixie are sitting on a log together, before both are hit with marshmallows.
*Whistle, whistle, whistle!*
Chris tosses a marshmallow in the air, with fifteen left on his plate.
"Uh huh huh huh! WHY?!" Chris sobs, and blows his nose on a tissue. "Enough of me! Get to the campers!" he yells at the camera.
Brains Brawn and Beauty Week 8
Somewhere in Ontario, Canada
Lucina looked under a bush and continued searching for something. "Argh!" she growled.
Confession Cam
Lucina: What exactly did Cardinal mean "I'll be back?" He meant he'll find the idol on Jury Island, and he's targeting me next! I don't have time for his threats! I gotta take out Opal! She's the biggest threat on the island!
End Confession
Jury Island, Week 1
Somewhere slightly south of the previous location in Ontario, Canada
Cardinal ran around the jumbo pool. "Dangnabbit! I can't find it!" he shouted. Jacob jumped out of the buffet-Jacuzzi. "Can't find what?" Jacob asked. Cardinal responded, "I need the idol if I'm going to take Lucina out!" Jacob thought and said, "Well, ask Sapphire about it. She's got a mini-idol finder."
Cardinal replied, "The bird?" Jacob looked at him quizzically and said, "It's a bird? I thought it was a heli-drone! But yeah, the thing she calls Azul."
Cardinal smiled and said, "That might do it..."
Confession Cam
Cardinal: I need to get Jacob back in the game when I get back! We would be invincible! I'm the smart one, he'd help win the physical challenges! Then we can take out Lucina easier...
End Confession
Pahkitew Island, Week 3
...Pahkitew Island. I just said that...
Confession Cam:
Jaedyn: Aside from now in this confession camera, and when I get food, I haven't left my cave I found... There's no bear, luckily, because that would be Day 1 all over again...
*Shudders*
End Confession
Griff climbed up a cliff, and reached into a nest, grabbing an egg. "Okay... Time to summon some eagle powers!" He cracked open an egg, and slurped the insides. "Ew! That tastes like crap!"
"Screeeech!" an eagle sounded. Griff looked around. "More crap!" he yelled, as he fell off the cliff, and the eagle turned around.
Confession Cam:
Griff: I saw that eagle thing in a wrestling movie once, I wanted to see if it would work. Why? I was kinda a wimpy kid when I was on, so no wonder I was kicked from my team... If I get voted back on, I needed to be stronger! Strong mind plus stronger body equals stronger player! Boo-yah!
End Confession
Rory closed his eyes and meditated in the tree he had lived in the last few weeks. He heard an eagle cawing, and saw Griff, collapsed on the ground, with a broken eggshell on his head. Rory jumped out of his tree and yelled, "I'm coming, dude!" He jumped onto the eagle's back, and put his hands over its eyes. It turned around, screeching. Griff sat up, dizzy. "Thanks, man!" He said.
Total Drama BvBvB Week 8... Again...
Same place...
Dixie sat in the "restaurant" and poked her charred-black eggs and her dirty sausage. "Wow, Chef's cooking is really going downhill, huh?" she said. Emma nodded. Caeden said, "Which is hard, seeing where the hill started..." Dixie snickered.
Confession Cam:
Dixie: Wow! Caeden is sooo funny!
Caeden: I'm glad Dixie said she likes me, since I've felt the same way since pretty much the first day! Hashtag Daeden!
End Confession
Opal groaned. "Why does the food suck so bad?" she complained. The campers heard whimpering from the kitchen. Alysson yelled, "She didn't mean it Chef!" Opal turned, confused. She said, "Yes. I did." Alysson held a finger to his lips. "Oh right..." Opal said, "Yeah, I didn't!" The door opened, and Chris stepped out, wearing a chef hat. He held a tray of something smoking. He wiped a tear with an oven mitt. Arnold stood up and said, "What's wrong, Chris? Where's Chef?" Chris wept, "That's just it! Yesterday, Chef cooked something terrible-" "No kidding!" Opal interrupted. Alysson glared. Opal said, "I mean, what? Terrible food? Nuh uh!"
Chris continued, "Anyways, Chef and I got in a huge fight, and he quit! He quit! I'm his kid's godfather, he was my best man twice, and he quits!" "Wait... what was that last part?" Alysson asked.
Chris kept going, "So, your first challenge after the merge if to cook me and the three jury members a three course meal! Winner receives individual immunity tonight at the marshmallow elimination. You will have one hour! Impress me!" He pulled out a walkie-talkie and said, "Joe, bring me the inhabitants of Jury Island! Now," he turned the walkie-talkie off, "You guys, get to work!"
Ten of the contestants ran into the kitchen, but Alysson groaned and said, "I'm not even done with my breakfast yet!" Ella said, "Do you really want to be done with it?" He shook his head, pushed away his plate, and ran into the kitchen. Ella laughed and said, "Alright, what should I make... I need to impress the judges..."
Confession Cam:
Ella: I don't know how I'm even still in this, considering how I've played so far... I need to step up my game! If someone is wanting to vote out a camper that isn't me, I'll join them!
End Confession
Ella grabbed a cake pan, a soup ladle, a baking sheet, and two pans. She put on the chef hat and an apron. Rubbing her hands together, she thought and looked around. She saw some eggs, flour, and a pineapple.
The campers heard Chris' bullhorn shout, "Oh, and you all must use the secret ingredient, something very Chef-y because I'm trying to get over my nostalgia!"
Alysson asked Ella, "Is that the correct usage of the word?" Ella shrugged and said, "He probably doesn't want to hear that right now..."
Ella picked up a note attached to a rifle that said "Secret Ingredient - Wild bird" Ella grinned.
Confession Cam:
Ella: That'll be easy to work into my dish! I'm making duck soup, with pineapple upside-down cake, and I think a salad, too..."
End Confession
Alysson grabbed a note and read, "'Secret Ingredient - Cloth'? What is this? I can't serve clothing! I refuse!" Chris yelled, "Sorry, no redos!"
Confession Cam:
Alysson: I still talk to Ella because I know her from Project: Stars. But she's my only reminder of Project: Stars, which is my only reminder of Wallace! I hate that guy still! After Stars, I cut my hair to shoulder-length, and tuned down my "fashionisto" urges. But preparing clothes to eat? Unacceptable...
End Confession
Alysson grabbed his cloth and burned it. "I'll serve it as dust, that I can put one grain of it in my dish. That way I used it!"
Confession Cam:
Emma: I think some of the contestants are really warming up to me! Caeden, Dixie, and Tara are all really nice. Tai is beyond perfect! I've been studying Chinese Sign Language, so I can understand him.
End Confession
Emma walked up to Tai and asked, "So, whatcha cookin', good lookin'?" Tai pulled out a paper and wrote, "I can't speak." Emma nodded and signed, "I've been practicing Chinese Poster Language." Tai raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, wrong kind of sign!" Emma said, and pulled out a dictionary. "Chinese Sign Language, sorry." She signed. Tai nodded. He said, "I'm making noodles, dumplings, and brownies." Emma grinned. She signed, "I'm making submarines, Roman salad, and cupcakes." Tai sighed and signed, "Do you mean sub sandwiches, Caesar salad, and cupcakes?" Emma looked confused. "I don't know what you're signing, I'll just say it out loud. I'm making subs, Caesar salad, and cupcakes." Tai face-palmed.
Tara took a large piece of steak, grilled it, and dumped barbecue sauce all over it. She grinned and said, "Oh yeah, now that's a steak!" She turned to her burgers, and flipped them, then realized she had to find her secret ingredient. She picked up a note and read it aloud: "Secret Ingredient... Bear? Alright, I've never had bear burgers..." She swiped the burgers into the garbage.
Confession Cam:
Tara: "I'll keep the steak going... It's going to be good. The meat's pretty tough... Like my boot camp director."
End Confession
Cardinal jumped off of the helicopter. He ran into the woods, looking for some idol.
After about an hour, Cardinal picked up a Noah statuette. "Alright, this should work!" He ran back to the camp, as he heard Chris yell, "Alright, campers, it's time to present your dishes to the judges!"
"First up, we have the beautiful Emma! Her secret ingredient was limburger cheese!"
"Ew!" Cardinal groaned. Chris said, "She has prepared for us subs with the limburger, Caesar salad, again, more limburger, and finally cupcakes! No limburger this time."
Emma presented the plates to the judges. "Why is the salad attracting flies?" Jacob asked. "And killing them?" Cardinal added. Emma gulped. She said, "Uh... It's not my fault! I had to use stinky cheese!"
The four judges took a bite of the sandwiches. Chris gagged. "Ugh. Gross! Revolting! The cheese is terrifying!" Chris yelled. Emma glared. Chris said, "But it is just like something Chef would make, with less flies than he'd have... 5 points for taste, 10 for Chef-y-ness! 15 out of 20 for Emma!"
"Next is Alysson, with burritos, quiche, and pudding! His secret ingredient: Cloth?" Cardinal announced. Alysson brought out the food. "Don't worry," he stated, "I burnt the cloth to a crisp and sprinkled one flake on each of my creations. It's completely edible!"
The judges bit in. "Wow, this is so good! 9 for taste, but it's not bad enough for Chef quality, so 4 on the Chef scale! 13 for Alysson!" Chris said, "Next, Tai, with his ingredient, rocks! Why did I do that? Anyway... He has noodles, dumplings, and brownies prepared for us!"
Tai brought out the noodles, evidently rock free. The judges ate them up, nodding with pleasure. "Great!" Jacob said. Sapphire smiled, agreeing. They bit into the dumplings, finding small pebbles in them. Chris spat some out and said, "Alright, great use of the rock, 9 on the Chef scale, and 10 for taste! Someone can only score higher with a perfect 20!" Tai bowed.
Confession Cam:
Chris: That dish can't be beat. If the next one tastes good, then it will lose on the Chef scale, and vise versa. Tai scored so high because his food was amazing, and there was just the perfect amount of practical joke with the rock dumplings! Classic Chef!
End Confession
"We have Ella, with duck-soup duck soup (Author's note: It's an idiom), salad, and pineapple-upside-down cake! Her ingredient was wild bird!" Ella presented her dish and said, "I shot the duck myself!" Jacob gagged and spat out the duck. "What?" Cardinal went, "Mmmm... Fresh meat... And the blood really mixes with the rest of the soup well... Y'know, that's a Vietnamese style, cooking stuff in blood. It really brings out the-" "No one cares, Cardinal! Shut it or else the duck won't be the only dead bird!" Chris yelled. Chris said, "The duck is pretty good, that pineapple-cake is to die for. Wowzas, Ella! 10 on the flavor! But... aside from the fresh duck, this doesn't really scream 'Chef', so that is about a... 4. So, 14! Pretty good!"
Chris thought and said, "Can we just bring out the rest of the dishes?" The contestants brought out their platters. Chris looked them all over and said, "Hmm... The ones that look delicious don't look like Chef food... and the ones that look like Chef food don't look delicious... So I declare Tai the winner! Thanks everyone!" Opal's face turned red. "I... worked... SO HARD on this food, and you won't even taste it? Try some of THIS!" she yelled, throwing her main course of turkey at Chris.
Author's note:
I wanted to give Ella more of a spotlight, her being a theater kid and all... And hopefully I cleared a little bit of Alysson's character up, with his cutting the hair bit... I hope that makes Icathius Nytfall happy... And now...
It's time to vote! You can't vote for Tai, but you can vote for...
-Opal
-Ella
-Arnold
-Lucina
-Tara
-Emma
-Caeden
-Dixie
-Alysson
or...
-Corbin
Don't forget to vote for someone on Pahkitew! I'll probably do more Pahkitew insight, like I did this time. Here are your options again:
-Griff
-Jaedyn
-Rory