[Chapter Four]
You have new love and
It looks good on you
I have never wished you dead, yet.

You can now have all the things I could never give to you
Look out the window "c'est moi"...

...

Dean stretched his body in the middle of the sheets. This weekend had been wonderful. Roman had spoiled him and had been there for him when the need to use drugs had overwhelmed him.

But Roman had not said a word about his mental illness.

"I have to get you to school. We have to be early, I don't want to be seen together", Roman said as he fixed his tie.

"I would never harm your reputation", Dean pulled the tie and kissed Roman's lips softly. "I love you so much... I, God... I have no words to describe how much I love you".

Roman smiled sweetly. Dean was just as any teenager in love. With his gaze bright and practically waving his tail to him.

"I love you too, puppy". Roman gave him a sweet smile.

"When you kick that bitch out of your life, I'll be able to visit you often. We could spend together on the weekends. These have been the happiest days of my life".

Dean was being brutally honest.

"I'm going to take good care of you, puppy. I'm going to make you very happy, as you deserve it".

Dean took Roman's hand and began to remove the engagement ring. Roman looked at him intently without saying a word.

"Start with this. You've been making love to me all weekend with this in hand", Dean finally had the ring in his possession. "If you're going to leave her, do it from now on. Prove that you are only mine, that I am not only your fucktoy".

Roman nodded and took the ring back, set it down on the nightstand.

"I love you. I don't want you to feel that I'm using you. I will break with her and I must think about how I will say this to my parents. But you must know that I can't mention your name. You know if this comes to light-"

"You would end up in jail. Never, never will I do anything to harm you. I just want to be sure that you are mine, Roman. I don't want to share you with anyone, I can't".

Dean was beginning to feel anxious, and Roman hugged him protectively until the teenager calmed down.

...

Roman parked his car in the last parking lot. It was so early that there was no one in school.

"If you need help with your classes, let me know". Roman said sweetly.

Dean bit his lower lip. He knew that Roman was aware that Dean had slept with several teachers for grades. The teenager nodded in anguish.

"Roman, I..." Dean's eyes showed a lot of sadness.

The Samoan put one of his fingers on the teenager's lips, in a gesture full of tenderness.

"Shhh, don't explain anything to me. You don't owe me explanations, but if this is serious, we need to do things the best we can in the circumstances we are in. You know we must hide".

Dean closed his eyes, nuzzling his lips against Roman's index finger.

"I love you so much, I'll never let you go, I'll die if I lose you".

"Don't say that. You're not going to lose me. Now go study and if you need anything, be it help or money, let me know".

"Roman, I don't want you to think I'm using you for your money".

"I would never believe that, but I don't want you to have to do things that you hate for money. I'll help you, okay?"

Dean smiled sweetly and nodded.

"If you have a need crisis for drugs, I need you to let me know".

Dean wanted to cry. Roman was perfect and the teenager knew his words were a statement: he would never let Roman go. Dean nodded vigorously and gave Roman a peak. Both got out of the car and took different ways.

…

"He's going to break up with her. He's promised me", Dean chewed on the sandwich Roman had prepared for him. "He even stopped wearing the engagement ring".

Seth was surprised by this. If Roman had left the ring meant that he was serious with Dean which for Seth was a total madness.

"So he told you about his condition?" Seth raised an eyebrow.

And this was an annoying topic for Dean. He hated that Seth reminded him that he didn't know the most important thing in the life of the man he loved.

Although Seth was sure that Dean and Roman did not love each other, that feeling was nothing more than an obsession of two unstable and insecure people.

And from the expression of desperation on Dean's face, Seth knew that Roman had not mentioned the topic.

"Stop rambling and say it!" Dean demanded. "Tell me what he has!"

"Depersonalization syndrome," Seth stared at the football field in the distance. "Plus anxiety and suicidal tendencies".

Suicidal tendencies.

Dean widened his eyes. "That's what you read in the library".

"I wanted to understand what is happening in the head of the man I love", Seth said without malice.

Although Dean didn't say it, he hated when others even looked at Roman. He had destroyed Miss James' car because she dared to touch Roman and flirt with him. But for some reason Seth's declarations of love toward Roman didn't bother him. Dean knew Seth well enough to know that the other teenager was harmless.

"And he was born like that or was it triggered by something or someone?" Dean needed to know.

"I don't know. If Roman and you love each other, maybe he'll tell you soon. Although he has not even told you his condition, then maybe you should work harder to get his trust instead of just his dick".

Dean narrowed his eyes, "I'm going to have all of him, his trust, his secrets, his yearnings. Roman is mine and as for his dick, it's something I plan to continue enjoying. But you're right, I'm going to do more talking and less fucking".

"Does he know about your addiction?" Seth was curious.

"I told you I don't have any addictions. And he does. In fact, I have not inhaled anything since Friday", Dean admitted.

"It doesn't matter how much you try to hide your addiction from yourself. If you keep saying you don't have any addictions, how will you rehabilitate? You need to get help or you're going to ruin Roman and if you think he's what you need to quit drugs, then you're crazier than I thought because Roman is going to ruin you", Seth looked at Dean with deep sadness.

Dean pursed his lips, unable to reply to his friend. He didn't want to believe that both were going to ruin the other as Seth said. Dean loved Roman and he was sure of that. Roman loved him and how the hell could love ruin them? Their love would save them. Dean was sure that Seth was just spreading his pessimism about them.

...

"You're not wearing the engagement ring!" Mickey wasn't discreet at all.

Roman was in the cafeteria and at Mickey's voice several of his classmates and some students turned their attention to the Samoan.

"It's a personal issue", Roman said without looking at Mickey.

"But then there will be no wedding?" Mickey insisted.

"What part of personal issue you did not understand!" Brie, the art teacher, rolled her eyes.

"Why are you always so bitter Brie. Your little girl is going to be born with a frown", Mickey complained.

"Stop fighting. There's people here who actually want to lunch in peace", Mr. Jericho was laughing. "If Roman wants to talk about it, he'll do it on his own".

Roman nodded and smiled as he finished eating. He stood to leave the tray and Mickie didn't even hide her eagerness. She was almost walking at Roman's heel. Several students were watching them closely.

"And then they say I invent gossips about Miss James", Alexa rolled her eyes. "She's practically stalking Mr. Reigns since she realized he's not wearing the engagement ring".

Dean and Seth were near the cheerleading table. The girls had not even noticed their presence because they were too focused on their own selves.

"It is true. What a pity he's older than us! He's so handsome, I really can't blame Miss James". Carmella, another of the cheerleaders, whined.

Seth looked fearfully at the scene in front of him, his best friend was fuming and Roman was trying not to draw attention despite the obvious of the situation. Roman left the cafeteria and Mickey followed him. Dean almost immediately did the same, using another door.

"Roman I know that maybe I'm being too bold for your taste but... look I don't want you to feel that I'm harassing you", Mickey had almost cornered Roman in a small alley near the library. "I don't want to miss the chance to get close to you now that you're free. I'm not eliciting a relationship, but we could have a lot of fun together, Roman".

Mickey was waiting for a response and she realized that Roman was so static. As if his body was there but his mind wasn't.

"We could have a lot of fun together, Roman", Wade's voice was very soft. "We've been in this thing for a long time. You know you drive me crazy, why keep waiting? There are things you obviously have not experienced yet, but I do. Come with me to my house after school, I am 18 so I live alone. I will take care of you".

"But you and I..." Roman was nervous. "I never, I..."

"Do you trust me, Roman?" Roman looked at Wade's lips as if they hypnotized him.

Roman nodded and gulped.

"Then come with me", Wade kissed his lips sweetly.

Roman was not able to resist his... What kind of relationship did they have?

"You will remember this day for the rest of your life". Wade's smile was so beautiful.

Yet Roman remembered nothing, not even that moment and for some reason, this memory had appeared in his mind out of nowhere.

Roman felt Mickie's soft lips covering his and this brought him back to reality.

"What's wrong with you, Roman?" Mickie smiled. "You look like a zombie. Are you this shy? I like that. I dig shy guys".

Dean was watching the scene. The teenager knew that Roman's mind was probably not there. It was the same blank stare he had when something frightened him or made him nervous. Seth was practically holding Dean, the younger teenager knew that if he let Dean go, Miss James would be in big trouble and with that Roman and Dean himself.

The bell rang loudly and Mickie kissed Roman's cheek and left him there. Dean looked at his teacher with real hatred but she didn't notice it. Seth pulled Dean.

"Roman needs help. We should take him to his office!" Seth hissed.

Both teenagers locked Roman in his office and Dean was walking back and forth in the small place. Seth was the one trying to calm Roman.

"It was just a kiss. Why did it get you so upset, Ro?" Seth didn't understand.

"That bitch will pay for this!" Dean finally stopped his walk and his eyes reflected the fire of hell.

"Do you think it's time for a jealousy tantrum?" Seth complained. "Just look at him. Something Miss James did upset him. And it's strange because she did nothing but corner him and probably offer herself to him".

Dean nodded. At this moment Roman was more important. But he would take care of Mickie, and that would be final.

Dean hugged Roman. He looked at the clock, they had classes with Miss James. He didn't want to see the bitch anyway. Seth was looking at Roman's schedule. Luckily he had no class at this time.

"Puppy..." Roman's voice was barely audible.

"I am here. What did that bitch do to you?" Dean needed to know.

"I don't know. I don't remember". Roman was calmed now listening to Dean's heartbeat.

"You can't keep yourself under control. I mean, do you think you can function properly without supervision?" Seth was worried.

"It was just an isolated fact. I have been stable all the weekend", Roman minimized what happened.

"It's true. Roman has almost had no episodes of..." And Dean realized that he could not explain whatever happened to his lover.

Roman realized what was happening.

"You must go back to your classroom, Dean. Both must do it. I see you at the exit, puppy and I'll tell you what you need to know". Roman stared at his young lover.

Dean nodded. Seth and he left the office. Seth was walking towards the classroom and Dean was heading for the yard.

"What are you doing?" Seth asked his friend.

"You go to class. I have something to do", That was all Dean said. Leaving Seth with more doubts than before.

...

"I don't remember a period of my life that lasted almost a year. I have no idea what happened. I only know that my problems started after that", Roman stroked his lover's unruly hair.

They were lying on Roman's bed. They should be asleep by the fact that they both had to wake up early to go to school. The Samoan had cradled the teenager. Dean listened to him intently.

"You don't remember anything at all?" Dean asked curiously.

Roman remembered several things, all related to Wade Barrett. But Roman wouldn't mention this.

"Absolutely nothing". Roman assured.

"Why are you so afraid of the opinion of your parents? You don't need them. You have a job, a life you have done for yourself. You even finished your college career". Dean insisted, "I know you must be under control but you should get yourself a good psychologist, not a nanny as Seth's sister has been. One that really helps you because I believe that she keeps you in this eternal state or numbness becasue she wants to be necessary in the eyes of your parents and that they pressure you to have a relationship with her".

Roman looked closely at Dean and in fact, his reasoning was logical. Roman felt that Sarah didn't love him, that this was an exchange of interests, they both received something in return for staying together but if they separated, Roman would suffer the most.

And the engagement was all about his parents almost demanding him to do it.

"I'm sure that bitch sees you as an ATM that she can explode by keeping you sedated", Dean was cmplaining. "You seem to attract goldigger whores".

Roman smiled at Dean's pout. The boy was very jealous.

"If you mean Mickie, I don't care about her. I love you. I'm going to make a lot of changes in my life for you. These changes for a person like me who needs stability are difficult and I'm still doing this for you, Dean".

Dean began to kiss Roman's neck. "Let's forget those bitches and make love to me. I need to feel you inside me. I won't be able to sleep if you don't fuck me properly".

"If you want it..." Roman smirked.

Dean grabbed two fingers of Roman's hand and began to suck them eagerly. Roman looked at him hypnotized. Roman kissed Dean deeply and brought his damp fingers to the tight entrance, teasing the young man.

"Stop teasing. I need you..." Dean didn't know if he was begging or demanding.

"Wow, you're so eager", Roman said gutturally.

"I'm always eager for your cock", Dean bit his lover's lower lip.

They kissed passionately and Roman's cell phone rang non-stop.

"Turn that thing off and fuck me!" Dean demanded, rock hard like Roman.

"Wait", Roman looked at the screen, it's from the whatsapp group we have with Chris and Brie".

Dean was kissing Roman's chest, so excited. Roman grabbed the cell phone and looked at the messages. Dean suddenly felt Roman stiff.

The teenager looked up and Roman was nervous. Dean decided to look at the cell phone screen and saw Chris's message.

Chris: Mickie had a car accident this afternoon when she left school. She crashed into a tree. Police determined that the car's brakes were cut D:

Brie: Jesus Christ! If she left school that means the attack was perpetrated by someone from the school. :o

Chris: Of course I thought about it. Sure was the same person who vandalized her car :(

Brie: But did Mickie survive? :s

*Chris is typing

Roman was shocked. He looked at Dean, "Tell me you had nothing to do with this!"

Dean gulped twice.

Dun dun dun dun ... It's been 84 years. Do you think Dean was capable of something like that? Is Mickie alive? Why are Roman and Dean still hiding things? Why does Seth insist that both Roman and Dean are going to destroy each other's life? Leave me a review with your opinions on this episode.