Disclaimer: I don't own Plum characters. A nod of respect goes to Janet Evanovich and her imagination for creating these characters.
Title: Temporary Insanity
Challenge: Written as a gift fic for Connie.
Rating: R (M)
Writer Disclaimer: This is OOC. Though, I don't think it's nearly as crazy as the last two I've posted. I've got no love for Morelli.
My morning was complete shit. I ran out of Morelli's house, without caffeine, screaming at the top of my lungs to counteract Morelli yelling at me, telling me it was over.
I wholeheartedly agree. I'm fucking through with him.
I fumed. I swore. Frustration rolled off me like bad vibes. That miserable rat fink, Morelli. How dare he say that if it had been me at sixteen pregnant with his bastard spawn we'd be married by now!
No we wouldn't. I'd kill him from sheer aggravation of his massive ego. I'd still married that douche bag ex of mine who shares underwear with other men, Dickie Orr. And I'd have a fourteen year old mouthy miniature of Morelli fucking everything with two legs and a slit between them.
None of this sounded like my idea of fun. Not at all.
I shoved my key into the ignition. Nothing but a few hiccups. The smell of gas flooded through my vents. I rolled the window down as I held my breath. I pounded my fist on the dash. I promised if the car if it started I'd put mid-grade gas into it. I gritted my teeth and turned the key again. My recently purchased Escort, held together by a prayer and duct tape sputtered to life. Like everything in my life, nothing works quite like it should. I drove down Hamilton, on my way to the bond's office.
Limp Bizkit came on the radio and I cranked it up. Who gives a shit about having a headache? Maybe I just needed to bang my head against the steering wheel while I cursed Morelli up one end and down the other to make it go away.
I headbanged my way through eight stoplights before the song came to an end. That song got my blood pumping. Made me want to punch someone. Or push someone against a wall and fuck their brains out.
Speak of the devil, Ranger was at the bond's office.
Fabulous.
Not.
We were at odds. I couldn't quite wrap my head around his indifferent attitude. And he couldn't quite get my number on the whole "worshipping" Morelli thing.
Partially this was Ranger's fault, I told myself. Ranger did tell me to go back to Morelli. Didn't mean I had to do it. I'd give anything to take it all back. Including fall to my knees in this very parking lot and suck Ranger off in the broad daylight during rush hour if it would make everything better.
I resisted the urge to bang my head against the steering wheel more. I seriously don't know what I was thinking- going back to Morelli. Something needed to change. Pronto. And I knew exactly what it was.
I pulled to a halt, jumped out of the car and threw open the Bond's office door. All eyes swung to me.
"You okay? You're looking a little crazy," Connie said, straightening up in her office chair.
"Girl, you've got a red welt across your forehead." Lula snorted. "Morelli didn't smack you with his noodle, did he?"
"As if his dick is big enough to do that."
I narrowed my gaze, zeroed in on Ranger. He didn't bother looking over at me. Didn't glance at me. He glanced through his stack of folders. I marched across the room, tapped him on the shoulder and fisted my hand in his leather jacket.
"I'm an idiot."
His eyebrow shot up.
"Don't talk. Just kiss me."
Ranger stared down at me. He hesitated and I yanked his head down and pressed my lips against his. Sparks flew. Angels sang in harmony. Never had anything felt so right.
Ranger pulled back and set me away from him with a look. "Stephanie."
"What?" I looked up at him puzzled. "Don't tell me you didn't feel that!"
"Oh my God!" I heard a thump on the floor and glanced over my shoulder at Lula, face first into the dirty linoleum floor. Limp. Passed out. Drooling.
"You think she's okay?" Connie shrugged her shoulder and I rolled my eyes. "At least it wasn't Tank this time. Must've been drugged by a poisonous dart or something because Tank doesn't faint. That would be like if Ranger suddenly told me he preferred dudes."
"Word." Connie said with a nod of her head.
"Babe." Ranger gave me a look that told me he wasn't amused. His hand tightened around my arm. " A word outside."
I grinned at him innocently and finger waved to Connie as Ranger pulled me out of the bond's office. "I guess that's my que to leave."
"Good luck." Connie looked from me to Ranger and cringed. "You're gonna need it."
Ranger was shaking his head behind me and we rounded around the corner to the alley, which I defiled with the Rat-Fink, Morelli, in a fit of desperation.
"What's your deal?"
"Morelli's got my mind all twisted. I can't think straight." I leaned against the brick wall, one foot up and balanced against the wall and the other on the ground for balance. I'm not the Dali Lama for crissakes. Only Ranger achieves that inner peace shit. "I think he must of slipped me Ecstasy every morning in my coffee. I was outta my right mind."
"Babe." He leaned against the other wall. His eyes shifted over me and settled on my lips. I licked them purely by habit and his eyes turned black. "Don't tempt me."
"I can't help it." I bit my lower lip and gnawed on it in exasperation. "I defiled our alley. Right there." I pointed and blew out a sigh, disgusted with myself.
"Tell me you want to walk away because I'm the biggest phony housewife wannabe to ever live in or around the 'burg. Tell me to get bent and walk away Ranger because that's what you do." I put on a brave face and looked up at him. "Right?"
He crossed his arms over his chest. "I offered you my bed to crash in and you blew me off."
"I know." I smacked myself in the forehead. "Total douche bag of the year type of shit. I get the award for my ability to stick more than just my foot in my mouth."
Ranger laughed, "I don't know what's gotten into you."
"You don't want to know." I shifted against the brick wall. "I did some pretty shitty things these past two weeks."
There was the barest hint of a shrugged shoulder from Ranger and we locked eyes. "I never thought it would come to the day where you actually thought you could tell me what to do and get away with it."
"I know. I know. Fuck. Go on and rub it in. I deserve it."
He pushed away from the other wall. "You ignored me."
I watched him come closer. Like the big bad wolf and a shot of desire- hot and heavy- went southward and stayed there. I squirmed against the wall.
"I was possessed." I breathed, watching him inch closer. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not scared of you. I don't know why I stayed away from you and pretended like you didn't exist. Can I plead temporary insanity?"
He stepped into me and pressed me fully against the wall. He was hot, hard and very thick. I licked my lips and shifted my gaze up to his.
"You avoided me."
I laid a hand on his smooth jaw. "I know."
Ranger rested his forehead against mine. "My offers don't come twice."
"Yes, but I always do." I bit my lower lip and Ranger laughed.
"Nice."
I groaned, "I'm having verbal issues."
"It's hard to revert back to the past and be the person you used to be."
I shook my head. "Not really. I just need a new perspective."
His lips brushed along my temple. "And how do you figure on getting one of those."
I fisted my hands in his hair and arched into him. "I'm wearing a skirt."
"And?"
"No underwear."
Ranger groaned. His mouth was hot on my ear and my knees buckled slightly. "What do you want me to do about that?"
"Help me reclaim the alley."
His fingers skimmed underneath my skirt and I turned my head slightly when he realized I wasn't playing. "All you have to do is say yes, Ranger."
He pushed me firmly against the wall and moved between my legs. Adrenaline and desire ran through my veins like molten lava and I watched wide-eyed as his hand slid further underneath my skirt, hiking it up.
"Touch me." I breathed, leaning my head back against the brick. "Oh god, kiss me."
His mouth touched me first, breathing on my neck, teeth nipping. I wrapped my legs around the backs of his thighs and gyrated my hips against his hand. His fingers were caressed the soft skin of my upper inner thigh and each time my hips moved into him his knuckle would brush against my wet core.
His mouth came back up to mine and hovered inches away. My eyelids fluttered and I found myself staring into the most wonderfully dark, sinful eyes to ever belong to a man.
"Stop playing with me, Ranger." I moaned. He slipped a finger inside of me and brought it all the way out. Then he slid two fingers in and his thumb played circles around my clit.
"And what if I want you to beg?" His lips came down onto my own, teasing and nipping. I arched up for more, but he moved away. His fingers inside of me were pushing me past the point of talking. I couldn't think. I wanted him inside of me. Fuck everything else.
I felt his lips against my ear and I slid against him losing my footing. My legs trembled. My fingers grasping for a better hold in his hair.
"What if I wanted you to forget everything else but me?" He encircled my clit and hooked his finger against my g-spot. "I could spend the next century ruining you for everyone else but me, Stephanie."
White hot pleasure spread through my body at the rate of a speeding bullet. I cried out against him, arching my hips into him, pulling his hair. He held me against him and waited it out. He was painfully hard against me and the only coherent thought I had in my mind was let's get the fuck out of here and start this ruination.
He gave me a few minutes to regain control over my motor skills and let me slid to my feet. Ranger straightened up my clothes and leaned me against the wall. He kissed me slow, deepening the kiss until I melted back into him. When he pulled away I knew what I'd wanted to say for a very long time and never had the guts to do it before now.
"There was never a question Ranger." I leaned in and kissed him gently. "I've been ruined since the very first time we touched."
The End.
Original Posting Date: May 22, 2008
Edited: September 19, 2011
A/N: This story got away from me. If you couldn't tell towards the end. Also, I'm coming close to the end of my surplus of unposted stories. I will post one story a week until I run out.
P.S.: Thank you for all your reviews! I treasure each one.