The goblin charged at me with what I assumed was a battle cry, though it sounded like a strangled cat. The goblin had leathery skin with sores on it and a hideous face. For a moment in the back of my mind I tried to decide which was uglier, the goblin or and orc. Before I made up my mind I spun and easily decapitated the goblin. I heard some screeching and saw three other goblins charging me with daggers and a spear.
My training kicked in as I cut through them in a matter of minutes, skirting around the ledges around the gaping hole in the floor. Screeches echoed up and dull torchlight reaches up from the seemingly bottomless pit. Consciously controlling my fast breathing, I frantically searched for a latch or mechanism that would close the trap door.
Unpleasant voices like an untaught child trying to play a fiddle crept into my ears. Hisses of 'front porch' and 'Goblin-cleaver' and 'revenge' perplexed and terrified me. How many were down there? Were they coming up to face me? I did not want to stay and find out.
Giving up on the notion of shutting the trap door, I fled to the opening of the cave with a newly lit torch and my bags in hand. I was met with an overcast night sky that turned the peaceful looking mountains into monsters of myth. My torch seemed to glow like a signal in the dark, directing anything's sight to me. However, I had to see the path ahead, otherwise I take a misstep and fall to my death.
Before I could get much further, the ground below me seemed to shake and tremble.
Goblins were coming.
Just as suddenly as the vibrations in the ground started, it stopped.
I strained my ears for any sign of pursuit by the goblins. I could not hear any, and they did not strike me as the quiet type. But I kept my guard up just in case. From what I heard, I doubted they would give up a chase so easily.
I slowly put distance between me and the cave. A few hours away I found another cave and after searching it thoroughly, including making sure the floor was not a trap door, I deemed it safe to stay it. I extinguished my torch, laid out my sleep mat, and covered myself with my woolen coat.
Before I could drift full into sleep I heard hisses from below me, and sounds of angry goblins. Silently asking Aule to keep me hidden from them, I stayed awake as long as my tired body allowed, finally permitting myself to sleep an around hour before dawn.
Morning light urged me forewards through the Misty Mountains.
...
Could something have uncle's company if they were the ones in that goblin cave? I wondered, worried for their safety. I was fortunate to avoid being captured by the goblins but I did not know the fate of my kin. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There was no use worrying about them, I would have to trust that they were ok. Even if it was hard to do so. As the oldest, I had a natural tendency to worry about my little brothers. Sometimes it got annoying for me and it often annoyed them. But over the years I learned to trust Fili and Kili.
I climbed us some large rocks and stopped to look at the view. I had just passed through the Misty Mountains and the sight before me was beautiful. The mountains rose up before me tall and proud. Many of the mountains looked jagged and steep but that seemed to make the, more majestic. I could see snow at the tops of them but the rest was rock and forest.
I briefly wondered what type of rock could be found, if there were minerals and gems imbedded in those mountains. That was what dwarves often thought of. Many of the other races called us greedy, which I admitted some of my people were, but a majority of us loved to craft beautiful things from the earth.
It was almost engraved in our being. We see things and so we want to shape them and make something beautiful out of something ordinary. It was how we were created by Mahal. Our ancestors were hewn from stone and brought to life. Each and every one of my people were a gift from Mahal and Illuvatar, who adopted my people. Illuvatar made the men and elves, and treated them as His children. He adopted my ancestors after they were created by Mahal against Illuvatar's wishes.
I had always liked to ponder the origin of my people, stone that was breathed to life. It was something one could spend a lifetime pondering.
With one last glance at the Misty mountains, I set off East. I traveled swiftly, hoping to join my kin as soon as possible. I did not really feel bad about disobeying Thorin's orders and going after them. I knew it was wrong to disobey but I felt this was a worthy cause. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sat back in Ered Luin and did nothing when orcs were clearly hunting my family.
...
My spirits were very low as I traveled through the mud and rain. I grumbled as my boot fell into a mud hole. I had found myself traveling through a field of tall grass, almost up to my shoulders, when the sky turned grey. The grass would fling water into my face as I tried to brush it away so I could continue foreword.
My whole body was soaked through and through, and my boots felt like a whole lake was inside. I pulled my leather cloak closer around my body, and mad sure my hood was pulled down low enough over my face. When I though of adventures as a dwarfling, this did not come to mind, being sopping wet and could not see clearly ahead because water was flying into my face.
The only thing about this that made me crack a smile was imagining Kili, who would be playing in the mud and stomping around. Wait. No, Kili, about fifty years ago. Not Kili, all grown up as he was now. I sighed, time flies, decades come and go, life moves on even if you want it to stay in one place forever.
With that train of thought I tramped through the grass and mud and rain.
...
All I could see was fire. Fire that swallowed anything in its path. Fire inside a mountain, lighting it up as a beacon in the darkness.
Then the scene changed, endless armies of orcs covered the land as far as my eyes could see. The horde marched as one mass, marching towards a lone mountain. Then I stood in the middle of a battle field, the land around me was silent and still. When I looked at the ground all I could see as the bodies of the slain. Nothing seemed to hold breath within itself, nothing moved. That's when I saw them, lying still beside each other. My little brothers laid there, pale and silent.
I ran towards them, trying not to step on anyone. With a sob I fell to my knees beside them. Fili and Kili laid side by side, hands entwined together, with lifeless eyes fixed on each other.
"No!" I screamed, violently breaking the silence that hung over the land. "Don't go where I cannot!" I yelled in despair.
"Please, don't leave." I chocked out, wishing they could hear me.
I sat between Fili and Kili, and moved the three of us so both of their heads rested in my lap. With tears streaming down my face, I combed their messy hair and tried to tell myself they were only sleeping.
I had to wipe my runny nose on my sleeve, and sobbed uncontrollably, holding my little brothers close. My tears fell onto Fili and Kili's faces and hair. I wiped them gently off but more tears quickly took their place.
They did not move. They did not tell me everything was fine. They did not hug me close and tell me not to worry. Fili and Kili remained silent and still. I bent down to kiss each of their foreheads, and closed their dim eyes.
"I failed, I failed, I failed." I repeated to myself. This was my fault, I did not get there in time. I wasn't there for them when they needed me. I sat in silence for a while, not knowing what to think. My little brothers were dead.
I noticed red pools in Kili's stomach, entry points where a sword had surely stabbed multiple times. A trail of crimson ran down Fili's head, blood marred his throat.
I closed my eyes, trying not to cry again. Then a sudden thought came to my mind that made me sit up straight.
"Thorin." I breathed in alarm. If Fili and Kili were dead on a battle field, where was Thorin?
"Thorin!" I shouted, searching frantically for my uncle, hoping he had not left me as well. All I could hear was the painful silence that enveloped the lands around me. I stood up, gently moving Fili and Kili's heads to lay on the ground as I searched all around me, looking at the pale faces of men, elves, dwarves, and orcs. I walked around a little on shaky legs. Death was all I could see, souls lost, blood spilt, my family taken from me.
Then I saw him, as if he had appeared from thin air. Standing in front of me was Thorin, my beloved uncle. With a gasp that sounded more like a sob I rushed to him. He stood behind the bodies of Fili and Kili, looking at them with a look of anguish on his face.
"Thorin!" I yelled as I approached him. To my horror, Thorin collapsed, right before me, gasping.
"Don't do this to me." I sobbed as I knelt by my uncle's side. He was struggling for breath. I cradled his head in my arms, trying to help him breathe. His eyes wer searching for something, but they couldn't focus on anything. Dark blood dripped from his mouth. I could not bring myself to examine his chest. I knew in my heart there was nothing I could do. I stroked his black hair, even as my lip quivered and tears burned my eyes. I tried desperately to keep my uncle alive, as if my touch could heal a fatal wound.
No, no, no, no! I said in my head. I couldn't loose him too. Without Fili and Kili I didn't know if I would be able to go on in life. Without the three of them... I shook my head. I couldn't think about that when my uncle was dying in my arms.
Fire, death, silence.
Death.
I gasped as I sat straight up. Beads of sweat covered my face and tears blinded my eyes. I tried to breathe. I looked around, not knowing where I was. Around me was the small camp I had set up hours earlier. A fire glowed dimly in the fire pit I had made. As I glance down I saw I was sitting on my sleeping mat and blankets.
I put my hand to my head as I to organize my thoughts. "It was just a nightmare. It was just a night mare." I whispered to myself repeatedly.
And what a cruel nightmare it was, it seemed so real. The pain, the silence, the agonizing sorrow. I wiped away my tears and wiped my runny nose.
Death. The word echoed in my ears. I tried to shake my head, to stop myself from hearing the word repeatedly.
If this was a nightmare, that meant my brothers were alive. I exhaled which sounded like a sob. Fili and Kili had to be still alive. Thorin will keep them safe. I looked up, it was still night. The moon shown in the sky and the stars covered the darkness. The night's air was not silent like in my dream. I could hear crickets, a small creek near by, the rustle of the leaves in the trees around me being blown by the wind.
I closed my eyes for a moment. Images of my dream rushed back to me and I quickly opened my eyes. I knew I would not go back to sleep after this. The nightmare had shaken me more than any other nightmare ever had. I sat there for many minutes, with my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin resting on my knees.
I had always made sure I hid my anxieties and fears from my brothers. It might not be the most healthy, but I did not care. I hated when they saw me in pain. But this one time, I just wanted to see their faces. With a yearning and homesickness, all I wanted was to touch them, know they were alright. I could not have that comfort. They were far away. I was alone.
Once I calmed down and was able to breathe normally I packed up my tiny camp and started on my journey hours early. As I walked I tried not to think of my dream. It terrified me, what if that dream would be a reality?
I had to walk and think alone, there was not a soul nearby who could help me.