Kunzite stood on the top of a clock tower, far out of range of any of Sailor Moon's attacks. Below, he could see Sailor Moon conversing with Oniwabandana in her boho human tabloid journalist disguise. He could also see the rest of the senshi hiding in the bushes just a short distance away.
He shook his head sadly. He was gambling Zoisite's life on a quintet of dizzy schoolgirls vs. a goddess. Perhaps he really should just go down there and steal the crystal after all.
No. These girls had the devil's own luck. If he attacked, he just knew by some miracle she'd master the Silver Crystal and manage to defeat him. Zoisite wouldn't know what happened until Metalia showed up to claim his life.
He'd play this gambit with an overabundance of caution. As many pawns as he could put between himself and the Dark Kingdom the better. Below Oniwabandana spun into her youma form with its long gray hair, corpse skin, and ninja garb. Sailor Moon looked up at the clock tower. "Kunzite! Meeting you was not part of the agreement! I'm about to be interviewed!"
"Ba banan! That's not happening," Oniwabandana informed her.
"Huh? Really?" Sailor Moon cried in mock indignation.
Kunzite decided to play along with Sailor Moon's ruse. "So you broke off from the other senshi? What do you say? If you join us you can see Endymion any time you want."
Sailor Moon raised her fist. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm the pretty sailor who fights for love and justice."
Silly girl. He looked away demurely. "Right now certain constrains are keeping Endymion from moving."
Sailor Moon gasped. "What? Is he sick?"
"Well, who knows," he looked up. "One thing's for sure, he'd be delighted to see you. Perhaps asking you to join us would be an impossible task. How about simply coming to meet Endymion?"
"You'll take me to see him?"
"Of course, but on one condition."
"Condition?"
Kunzite teleported to appear before Sailor Moon. "Hand over the Silver Crystal."
Granted, he didn't expect her to actually do it. Although if she did, that would have thrilled him beyond his wildest dreams. He merely wanted to see where her eyes darted to, so he'd know where to expect the only attack that could potentially kill him.
Sure enough, her eyes darted to the bushes where her friends hid. Behind his back. Damn. Oniwabandana was watching for signs of ambush, but the thought of that much firepower aimed at his spine made him nervous.
Time to end the charade. "I like your resolve, but you're not going to get far without the Moon Crystal. I think you'll want to call your friends out of the bushes to join you."
The girl broke into a sweat. "I don't know what you mean. What friends? I don't have any friends."
Kunzite sighed. "You really need to work on your acting skills. As much as I'd like to stand here and play make-believe games with you, I haven't much time to waste on this. So unless your friends step out of the bushes to where I can see them, I'll teleport away and let Oniwabandana torture you until they show themselves."
"Fine," a haughty voice said behind him. He turned and watched Sailor Mars emerge from the bushes, followed by the others. "Return Tuxedo Mask to us at once or prepare to face our wrath."
Kunzite looked them over dismissively. "You're joking, right? You honestly think you can defeat me?"
"I've done it before," Venus said.
"You snuck up on me and scraped my knuckles right before I was ordered to retreat. I wouldn't exactly count that as a defeat."
Mars grinned. "Oh, yeah, well I guess there is a first time for everything. FIRE SOUL!"
Kunzite teleported away at the last second. Oniwabandana screamed as she took the full blast. She staggered and rubbed the scorch mark on her arm.
Damn. He needed to stop doing that.
"SUPREME THUNDER!"
"CRESENT BEAM!"
"FIRE SOUL!"
To their credit, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury just stood there with an I-don't-know-these-girls expression on their faces. Kunzite levitated and the attacks were absorbed by his dark energy sphere.
"Our attacks…did nothing," Sailor Jupiter said in awe.
"On the contrary," Kunzite said. "I've absorbed your energy so now I'm stronger than before. Would you care to stop this idiocy now so we can work out a temporary alliance?"
"Don't listen to him. It's a trap," Sailor Mars cried out.
Kunzite stared at Sailor Mars. "Or I can start killing you one by one until the survivors are ready to talk."
He summoned a ball of dark energy and Sailor Mars cringed in fear. "Er, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let you have your say."
He banished the ball of energy and gestured for them to gather round. "Listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once. Queen Beryl is dead. She died in an accident while trying to execute Zoisite. Zoisite survived the attempt on his life, but he was badly injured and has been drained of his powers— "
"Good," Sailor Mars said.
Kunzite gave her a cross look.
"I meant 'good' that he's badly injured and drained of his powers. Not 'good' that he survived."
The others chuckled and agreed.
"As I was saying, Queen Metalia has only recently become aware of this situation and will punish him when she finds him. You," he pointed at Sailor Moon, "need to use your Silver Crystal to destroy Queen Metalia before she has a chance to harm him."
"Why should I care what happens to Zoisite?" Sailor Moon said. "He tried to kill my boyfriend."
Sailor Mars nodded. "Mine too." With that, the girls erupted into a chorus of shouts.
"And mine."
"He tried to kill two of mine."
"Hell, he tried to kill my grandfather."
"I don't have a boyfriend, and I hardly know him, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time."
"He actually did kill Naru's boyfriend, right in front of her."
Kunzite yelled over them to get their attention. "Enough. I am aware each of you have your reasons to think unkindly of Zoisite. I'll have you know that while his actions might seem cruel, he was only acting on my orders. He is entirely without malice toward you. If he has harmed anyone, it is only because it was the best way to achieve his objectives."
"I guess that makes it okay then," Mars said sarcastically.
Kunzite grabbed her by the throat and lifted her off her feet. "My point is Zoisite's not the one you have to be afraid of. He's not a sadist. I am. I've told you he's defenseless, but only because he'll be joining us, and I don't want him hurt because of a mistunderstanding. If any of you Barbie Dolls throws so much as a Bubble Spray in his direction, I will slaughter all of your boyfriends, and then I will hunt down your families. Do I make myself clear?"
The others nodded so he set Sailor Mars down.
"So if we help you, what do we get in return?" Sailor Jupiter asked.
"You get to save the world. You also get Endymion back. Trust me, you are getting the better of this bargain. It's rather fortunate for you that we have a common enemy since I wouldn't be doing this for anyone but Zoisite."
"Aw," Venus said. "You seem to care for him. What is he, your sidekick?"
"Not all at," Kunzite said.
"Excuse me, Mr. Kunzite," Mercury said. "If Zoisite is defenseless, why are we bringing him along?"
"So I can watch over him. And because he's resourceful. If we go against Metalia we'll need all the help we can get." And because once he sees what I'm willing to do for him, he'll finally shut up about Beryl and take me back, Kunzite thought, but he certainly wasn't going to say that aloud.
Mercury persisted. "But if Metalia is after him, won't he be a liability?"
"I'm perfectly capable of protecting Zoisite on my own. You just worry about yourselves, and using the Silver Crystal to defeat Metalia and cure Endymion. Do we have an agreement?"
The girls nodded, albeit reluctantly, so he opened a portal to the Arctic Circle, just outside the Dark Kingdom.
Sailor Moon gasped as icy wind from the dark portal buffeted her hair and uniform. "This is—"
"It's the entryway to the Dark Kingdom."
"Huh? Th-that's creepy."
"Want to turn back?"
Sailor Moon cringed. "I'm going! You're so mean. Just like Sailor Mars." She turned back to the portal. "Tuxedo Mask. I'm coming for you."