Okay, so I cried a little while writing the last chapter, and I'm hoping you guys will like this one. Um, this is pretty short, really just telling you what's going on. No real events. Also, if you go back to the Prologue, you'll see I did some changing, Luke is just Octavian's college senior friend and um… you'll see.

On with the chapter.

Chapter 9: Rebuilding.

I feel like shit.

I feel like shit that someone took a sledgehammer to and ran over with a truck and totally barfed on just for the hell of it. That's how awful I feel. And I kinda feel like a poser because I sound like Nico.

I've been here for like, 2 weeks. Can you believe it? After Nico and I talked, about all type of crap like my weird kissing him, my drinking, his "detachment" I guess you know, him just being all "strong and silent", we talked about all the hot girls I fucked (excuse my vulgar language, I've been told not to filter my thoughts) we talked about talking and how awesome we'd be when I got out. We even decided to transfer out of Yancy Academy and just go to Goode High School together. We'd still see the gang, of course, we'd go out, but I wanted to meet new people, do something other than nothing and feel everything. Every little ache and pain, every shot of adrenalin and every little pang of happiness. I wanted it all and that's what I told Nico. I didn't want to live in just the pain like I had been doing and he got it, once I actually explained it to him.

Our trip to Florida has been officially postponed. I don't think anyone really minded though. It had been for me.

My mother and I made up, also. It went a little like this:

My mom woke up after Nico had gone back to sleep. He had laid his head back in Rachel's lap and I suspected she wasn't going to wake up for a while, she probably hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, she was addicted to fanfiction.

Anyway, my mother's eyes widened as she looked over at me. My heart sped up a little and it was painfully obvious because of the heart monitor.

"Percy." She whispered, and stood up. I said nothing, I just watched as she stepped over Nico, patted his head, kissed Rachel's cheek and stood next to me in the bed. Her eyes were big and watery and I hated that I had done this to her.

"Hey." I croaked out. My throat was already closing, I was so full of guilt. For yelling at her, for being angry with her because of her job, I was a bad son and I could feel the tears coming, ready to show her how sorry I was.

"Oh baby, don't cry." She cooed, and wrapped her arms around me. She was warm and she smelled like lilies and blue Jolly Ranchers. She smelled like cinnamon and sunshine and motherliness. She smelled like the brown haired beauty that I'd worshipped when I was 12.

"I'm so sorry mom." I whispered, burying my face in her neck. I repeated myself over and over again, knowing that no matter how many times I said it, it would never be enough. Ever.

"I'm going to be there, babe. I want you to know. I'm visiting twice a week, I'm going to Florida with you, we're going to Montauk when we get back, no more liquor in the house, and no more pills. Anywhere." She said sternly, and I just listened, loving the feeling of having her speak to me again, like a real mom would. I never realized how much I absolutely needed her until that moment.

"I'm an idiot mom. I really am."

"It's okay hun. We all make mistakes." She whispered into my hair. Her breath even smelled like something wonderful, rainbows and cotton candy probably.

"But… this was… horrible."

"Go to sleep. You and Nico lost a lot of blood. But it's okay, right baby? It's okay because now we can look at this and know that we can only get better. We can only move up and away from this. We can only rebuild because we can't be knocked down any further, huh?" she laughed a little and I gave her a smile. Because she was right, she was right and we both knew it, but neither of us said a word.

So.

Rachel woke up and immediately started crying. She hopped up, throwing Nico's head away from her, and coming to hug me. She cried and cried and cried and I wanted to beat myself up for doing this to her. She looked pitiful, she looked depressed, like someone in the ward where I was headed.

The reason I feel so crappy right now, is actually because today is the day Nico, Rachel and my mom are coming to visit me all together for the first time.

I'd seen them all though. Literally the day after I was locked in here Nico showed up. He was sick actually. The doctors said that he had the flu and it was stress induced or whatever, and I felt bad because 1) I didn't even know that was possible and 2) I'd caused it. Anyway, he walked into my room, which I shared with a guy called Dakota, who was an alcoholic. He had been in group therapy when Nico came in.

"What's up bro?" he'd said. I hadn't realized he was in the room and I nearly fell off the bed.

"Nico? What the heck are you doing here?"

That whole encounter had started out awkward. And it ended awkward too, with this weird ass hug thing that just didn't work.

But now my mom was here and I was done being pissed at her because she was here now and this is when I really truly honestly needed her. I'd thought Annabeth leaving had killed me, well I'd nearly killed myself and now that I needed her for real, she was around. Always.

"Percy!" Rachel squealed, and rapped her arms around me. I smiled into her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of deodorant and paint. Her hair was pulled back in an unruly pontytail and I hadn't known that I would miss her weirdness so much but I did and it felt good to hug her again.

"Gods Rache I missed you!" I breathed and she squeezed me tighter. She let me go and looked up at my face. According to Dakota, I looked like less of a crazy person than I did when I got here, so I guess my therapy sessions were working.

"Oh Percy, honey, you look so much better!" my mom sighed. See? Sleeping is good for you.

But I still felt like crap.

I walked up to my mother and hugged her around the waist tightly and spun her around in a circle, muttering apologies the whole time. I don't think I'd ever stop telling her how sorry I was.

"Stop apologizing." She whispered and her skin was so soft and I missed this so much over the years it didn't make any sense.

Nico was last. He kind of just stood there all awkwardly, looking at the ground and his hands, and fidgeting with the chains on his pants, staring at the lady behind the desk. She was around 35 and I knew she didn't have any kids or a boyfriend. More power to her I guess.

"Hey man." I said. I was wearing sweats and a wife beater because you didn't actually have to get dressed to do anything in the morning. You only had to brush your teeth and take a shower.

"You look like you're on vacation or something."

"I am." he laughed, but it was forced and I hated it, but I had no right to criticize, I was the one in a mental ward.

"How's the food in here?" he asked. Trust Nico to ask about food instead of my mental health. But it was refreshing, because I was tired of apologizing and talking about my feelings and crap.

"Horrible."

I showed them around the ward, my room, the cafeteria, group sessions room, my therapist's office, and even where I got to work with the secretary behind the desk. My mom looked worried, like she thought I was enjoying this experience a little too much, Rachel looked happy, and Nico looked like he was sitting in economics class again, too bored to blink. It made me feel relaxed for once.

My mom made me get dressed and take another shower and she took us all out for dinner. It was great. And Italian, so Nico ended up in some lengthy foreign conversation with the owner about… something. I didn't pick anything out of it. The only time I heard Nico speak Italian was when he was cursing.

"What the heck Nico?" Rachel sighed, once we were in the car. They were in the backseat, Nico's head was in her lap and they looked peaceful for once.

"What?" he said defensively.

"A whole 20 minute conversation? In a language we don't speak?"

"You think I wanted to sit there and talk to the guy? I hate strangers." Nico scoffed and I laughed, and for a second, everyone was silent and just stared at me in wonder. Like they never expected me to throw my head back and laugh like I used to.

"Holy crap." my mom giggled. Rachel turned and gave Nico a look and I laughed again, and then my mom was staring at me.

"What?" I sighed, exasperated.

"Sorry Perce, but… you seem so much more…happy?" Rachel tried and looked around to see if everyone agreed. Nico shrugged but my mom nodded her eager agreement and for a second I was happy because I'd made her happy.

I didn't feel like crap.