Day 10

"Miss Granger?"

Someone is calling my name. The voice seems to be from far away.

"Granger?"

Like a whisper.

I groan and try to ignore it.

"Granger."

Someone's hands are on my shoulders, shaking me slightly.

Immediately my eyes fly open and I snap the attacker's hands away from me, pressing myself into the wall, away from the danger.

Wait - ?

I blink a few times. It's him.

Professor Snape.

"I-I'm sorry-" I start, "I thought..."

I let that sentence trail off, but he understands and accepts the apology.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"What...what do you mean?"

"You were tossing around and talking."

I tense, "Oh," then I start to worry, "What was I saying?"

"Nonsense mostly," is his only answer.

I relax, taking a deep breath as I try to remember my dreams, but there is nothing I can recall. Absolutely nothing.

"Thank you for waking me, Professor," I say, brushing the stray of hair from my face.

He simply nods, then awkwardly clears his throat before walking back to his part of the dungeon.

I look at the small window above us.

It's a new day.

ooo

I pull my knees up against my chest and rest my chin on the top of them, forcing myself to remain silent. Ever since I woke up I started to feel unwell, there is that usual pain in my lower stomach and it doesn't seem it will soon go away. Usually when I have cramps I lock myself into my room where I can suffer in silence and not worry about anyone witnessing my weak moments. But now I have no other choice. No privacy. Hopefully he will not notice anything.

"You are unusually quiet," he comments not a minute later.

I look up at him in surprise. I didn't think he paid any attention to my talking habits.

"I-I don't know what to talk about," I answer quietly.

"But that has never stopped you before, Miss Granger," he smirks, "Why are you not talking my ears off with Potions ingredients or plans of escape?"

I sigh, "I guess I don't feel like it, Professor."

That catches his attention, "Yes. And that makes me question if you are feeling entirely yourself."

I bite my lip, but then simply shake my head. For the first time in days I am the one who does not wish to talk and suddenly he is overly talkative. Suddenly I realize how much I annoyed him by trying to talk in the last couple of days.

"Miss Granger?"

"What?" I snap, raising my voice a bit.

His face turns cold, "I am going to forgive you for your impoliteness, given you are...in your hormonal time."

I look down, embarrassed. Does he have to mention that?

"I am sorry, Professor. I'm just...not feeling well. I wish I'd be able to take a nap, but...the guards might come any minute.

"I will wake you up when that happens," he offers, "You do look a bit pale."

I take a minute to think, then I nod, "Alright."

Breaking the eye contact, I lay down, covering myself with his cloak. Then I realize how much he's given me in these ten days. How much he's helped me. I don't know how I'd be able to handle the situation if it weren't for him.

I make a mental note to thank him, then close my eyes and try to get some rest.

ooo

My eyes snap open and I immediately pull myself up in a sitting position, looking around nervously.

"Miss Granger?"

I relax as I realize we are alone in the dungeon. I shouldn't have fallen asleep, I need to be awake and ready for everything the guards decide to do to us.

"No one has visited us yet," Professor Snape says.

I nod, moving the hair away from my face, cringing at the reminder of how short it is.

Silence.

Then I remember something.

"Do you realize this is the tenth day?" I ask quietly.

He sighs, "Yes, it hasn't escaped my attention."

"Ten days," I repeat, not believing it myself, "It...it seems longer."

He does not comment.

"Do you think they are trying to find us?" I ask.

I can see him rolling his eyes, "Miss Granger, we have already discussed this topic -"

"I know, but...I wonder what Ron and Harry are thinking. Do they know what's happened to me? And...my parents? Do you think they've been informed about my disappearance?"

I look up at Professor Snape, eager for answers.

He starts slowly, "I believe the Headmaster had informed them."

My heart sinks a bit at that. I don't know what is better. Them knowing or not knowing. If they know about my disappearance, then they are worried and I can't even think about it. It hurts too much. And besides, them knowing makes it more real. It's really happening. No one can pretend it isn't.

But if they know...then they are probably trying to find me.

I tense up, realizing how dangerous the world I live in is. I don't want my parents anywhere near it. If it's safer for them, I don't want them looking for me.

Suddenly Snape speaks, "The Headmaster is probably doing his best to find us. The Order is looking for us and I am sure your parents are not involved in the search as it would be too dangerous for them."

How does he do that?

Sometimes it seems like he's reading my mind. He know exactly what I'm worried about and ...

Wait.

Could he be reading my mind?

"Professor," I start cautiously, "Are you...have you ever used Legilimency on me? In these ten days, I mean."

He does not look away from me as I expected him to, but there is a change on his face, perhaps slight shame? I hold the eye contact, waiting for him to speak.

"After years of practicing that particular craft, I am sometimes unable to...shut it off," he explains.

I open my mouth in slight shock, "So...that is a yes?"

He struggles for a moment, then simply nods, "Yes."

"That's..."

I am speechless for quite a long. I did not expect him to admit it. I was not prepared for it.

Then suddenly shame takes over me, followed by anger.

"That's personal," I say, my voice accusing, "I didn't want you to...What did you see?"

"Miss Granger, it is not what you think."

"Then explain it to me."

"It was never mind reading, it was just...slight probing, one which I am unable to shut off."

"Unable to?"

I am really uncomfortable. Just the fact that I am stuck with him and being put into these disgusting situations is awkward enough and I really do not want him to invade the privacy in my mind.

"Well...try harder," I snap at him, "I don't want you knowing everything. It's horrible as it is."

"I understand that -"

"Do you?" I demand, "You got angry because I was simply looking at you while you were sleeping. How would you feel if I was reading your thoughts?"

He sighs, obviously annoyed, "I apologize again, Miss Granger. You have to understand that it has become a habit of mine and sometimes I do it subconsciously."

I nod, letting put a deep breath, "Just...don't do it again, please."

"You have my word that I will try."

I decide to leave it at that. It would do us no good to fight.

I stand up, stretching my legs and leaning against the wall.

"It has to be afternoon already and no one came," I say quietly.

"They will come. And it will not be pleasant," he replies, moving closer to me, "After what they said yesterday, I think we both know what we can expect."

A shiver goes through me, "Torture?"

He nods, looking down. Then he tenses and his eyes slowly find mine. He's uncomfortable, I can see it. He opens his mouth to speak, but decides against it.

"What?" I ask, narrowing my eyes in surprise.

He does not answer, but tenses again.

I look down, wanting to see what made him behave in such a way.

Oh god.

There is a small, but noticeable red stain on the mattress where I was sitting before. I blush furiously and immediately cover the stain with the robe he gave me, shaking slightly in embarrassment.

He clears his throat, but the silence that follows is mortifying.

I close my eyes for a moment, wishing for all to just go away.

Only a second later the doors burst open and I could not be more glad for the guard that came in. It made Snape turn his attention away from me and my little accident and I could not be more thankful for that.

The guard throws two pieces of bread onto the floor and conjures two glasses of water, then looks at us with disgust on his face.

"It stinks in here," he says, "Be prepared for a short visit to the showers in a few hours."

With those words he leaves the dungeon.

Such short visit, but pure horror flooded through me.

Shower? Now?

I am glad, I could not be feeling more dirty, but at the same time...I don't want to shower if it is going to be the same as the last time. Especially now when...

"I don't want them to know," I suddenly say.

"I beg your pardon?" Professor Snape looks at me.

"I don't want them to know about...you know. It would be too...humiliating. I want this thing to stay private."

He narrows his eyes in confusion, "Well...it will be slightly difficult to hide if we are going to be forced to shower."

I blush again, "I know. I-I don't want to hide it, but...perhaps...blame the blood on something else."

He remains silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I-I could cut myself...a deep cut on my thigh and they will think..."

"Miss Granger, I do not think that is wise. It would do us no good to help them hurt us. They will to that without our help."

I don't listen to him, shaking my head, "I don't want them to know."

"I know it will be uncomfortable -"

I cut him off, "How would you know? It's...humiliating and it's horrible enough that...you know. I-I don't want them to know anything about it."

"I understand that, but hurting yourself -"

"Only a cut. I am sure there will be much worse torture in the future," I say bitterly.

He simply looks at me and does not react in any other way. I nod, walking over to my glass of water, quickly drinking all of it, them throwing the glass to the ground, smashing it into thousand pieces.

"Well, I didn't expect that to go as smoothly," I admit, "Aren't they afraid we might kill ourselves or...attack them?"

"I am positive they have put anti-sucide spells on the dungeon," he explains, "Besides, that small piece of glass would be nothing compared to their wands."

As he finishes talking, I pick the largest shard from the floor, taking a deep breath, looking down at myself. The cut would probably have to be somewhere on my thigh to fool them.

Alright, I can do this.

It has to be deep enough so that the blood would... I feel sick simply by thinking about it. My fingers start to shake at the thought of hurting myself to the point there would be blood. A lot of blood.

I have heard of people cutting themselves on purpose, but I don't think I am one of them. I most certainly am not. But I have to do it.

"Miss Granger, I insist, that idea of yours is crazy," Professor Snape speaks again.

"I will do this with or without your consent," I shot back, "You don't know how humiliating it would be. I can't stand them using this against me. I will not allow them."

Taking a deep breath, I lift my skirt slightly, looking at my thighs, deciding how to proceed. Ignoring my shaking fingers, I grip the shard tighter and bring it to my skin high on my inner thigh. I lick my lips hesitantly, mentally convincing myself to move the shard, but something is stopping me. I can't seem to be able to push the shard into my flesh. Just as I start to feel nauseous, the shard is snatched away from me.

"What are you doing?" I demand, looking at Professor Snape angrily.

"Helping you, you insufferable chit," he barks back.

"Helping - ?"

"Even though I think you plan is foolish, I cannot risk you cutting an important vein and bleeding to death."

I quickly nod, "A-Alright," then add, "I hope you are not squicked out by blood."

He simply sends me a look.

Stupid me. Of course he isn't squicked out by blood.

He takes a deep breath, "You should sit down."

I obey, sitting down onto the mattress and leaning against the wall.

Then it starts to get uncomfortable again.

"Where do you think the cut should be?" I ask, looking up at him awkwardly.

"I suppose on the thigh, high up."

Well, this is awkward.

"Alright, let's just get this over with," I force out, pulling up the skirt and revealing my left leg.

He clears his throat awkwardly, then approaches me, kneels down and tries to make as little eye contact as possible.

"Would you change your mind if I say I think this is a foolish idea?" he asks again.

"No," is my only answer.

I can see slight anger pass his features, then he looks down at my leg, not saying anything else.

I tense a bit as his hand touches my skin, bitting my lower lip like crazy, expecting the pain to hit me any moment.

One second passes.

Then another.

And another.

"Oww!" I cry out, my hands covering his on my leg as a hot pain shoots through me.

He pulls my hands away, "Do not touch it."

I let out a pained growl, taking a deep breath to calm down. Finally I am able to look down and it isn't as bad as I expected. There is blood, but it is not as deep as I thought it would be. A sick realization comes to my mind, that Professor Snape is very good at cutting people and handling sharp objects, but I quickly push those thoughts away.

He stands up and moves away from me.

I resist the urge to cover the cut with something, thinking if it was a good idea in the first place.

"I have never thought I would have to cut one of my students," he says quietly, his back turned to me.

"I-I'm sorry," I say, "But...you helped me a lot and I thank you for that."

He does not say anything.

ooo

We did not have to wait long. The guards came for us only half an hour later.

I was a wreck by the time they arrived.

One reason was because I did not want to shower in front of them. I was sick and tired of the remarks they made last time.

The second reason; I did not want to shower next to Professor Snape.

Third reason; I did not want the guards to know about what was happening to me.

ooo

I hug myself with my arms as they push me back into the dungeon, laughing and snickering. Professor Snape walks in after me, then turns to look at the guards with murderous eyes, while I just walk into the corner, hoping to turn invisible.

The guards soon leave.

The tension in the dungeon is almost unbearable. Somehow it seems even more awkward than the first time we were forced to shower together. It obviously does not get easier with time.

"At least my plan worked," I say quietly and he snorts.

It did work. I managed to undress myself quickly and get under the cold water without the guards noticing anything. They did notice the cut on my thigh and the blood, they made a few comments about that, but then concluded it was probably from the torture.

Still, it was very uncomfortable. Again, I refused to look at Professor Snape. I would turn away from him and try to pretend he was not there.

I only hope he did the same.

I do feel much better and cleaner. At least physically.

At least that.

ooo

Professor Snape has been a bit snarky ever since we returned. He does not talk to me and when he is forced to answer, he only manages to use one or two words.

Desperate for a conversation, I ask him, "Who do you think has taken over Potions?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know that?" he replies and I am a bit taken aback.

Still, I try again, "How many classes have we missed by now?"

I know the exact number, but I need something to talk about.

He looks at me, irritated, "Granger, perhaps you failed to notice, but I am not in the mood for such conversations."

"Oh. A-Alright, we can talk about something else then?"

"Of course," he says, then added, "How about the art of silence? I think that might be an art you still have not mastered."

I look down, his words stinging a bit. I don't say anything else.

Silence.

ooo

It's late and the guards still have not visited us. I am nervous, expecting them to burst into the dungeon as they promised, but there is no one. Perhaps it is one of their games again?

I sigh in boredom, then finally allow myself to look at Professor Snape.

He is sitting on the chair, next to his mattress and he seems to be...sleeping? His eyes are closed, but his body seems tense with his arms crossed over his chest. Perhaps he is simply resting. I stand up slowly, feeling the need to stretch my legs. I make a few steps, quietly as not to disturb him and then flex the muscles in my neck.

As I yawn, I suddenly notice Professor's robes are not in place as they have always been. They are no longer covering his legs and his black trousers can be seen. And then I notice something. Something I wish I have not noticed.

There is a large bulge in his pants.

I gasp in surprise and shock and his eyes suddenly snap open. In a second he rearranges his robes, covering himself.

My mouth is still open and no voice comes out.

I am in shock.

Did I just see what I think I saw?

It has to be. I am positive that... thing does not look like that in it's...normal state.

I blush furiously and turn away, willing those thoughts out of my mind.

"Miss Granger," he starts, but he is uncomfortable. He cannot even hide it.

I let out a short breath, "I-I didn't want to...look. It was an accident, I swear, Professor."

"That is...quite alright."

It's not alright, I can hear it in his tone.

"Is that the reason you were...unpleasant before?" I ask.

Silence.

"A part of it, yes."

Oh god.

I don't want to be talking about it. But I can't pretend I didn't see anything. That would be even more uncomfortable.

Then a sick realization hits me and I turn to face him.

"I am not saying I am an expert on such things, but I know enough to know what causes it," I babble, "And...was it...because of the...us showering together?"

I am sick to my stomach.

Was he looking at me?

I do not want to hear his answer. I would not be able to stand it.

Shame takes over him, but he shakes his head, "No. It does not have anything to do with that event."

I can see the last thing he wants to do is talk about it. Especially with me, but I have a right to know.

"I really hope that is true, Professor," I say, looking down at my hands.

He takes a deep breath, "Sometimes such things occur with no good reason. And let's leave it at that, Miss Granger."

I quickly nod, walking back to my mattress.

I can't help thinking about his...problem. Will it go away by itself or...does he have to do something for it to go away? I throw a quick glance at him and notice he is looking quite uncomfortable.

Stop it, Hermione.

At least he got a taste of how it feels being humiliated in front of others, having your body doing something you do not wish it to do.

Still, I wish I would not have seen it. It made me uncomfortable as well and it changed the things between us. Again.

If we are not saved soon, too many boundaries will be crossed and we will never be able to look at each other the same way again.

It's night already.

The guards are obviously not coming today. I don't know how to feel about that.

Has something happened?

Or are they thinking up new ways to torture us?

Too many things to worry about.

It has been such an uncomfortable day.

I can't wait to fall asleep and forget about it all.

And see what day eleven brings.

A/N: Sorry for not updating in almost a month! I had a bit of a writer's block. But I am working through it. Hope you like the chapter. I have to thank all my reviewers! I love you guys! :) Special thanks to HarryPotterGirl who gave me a few ideas, I could use in the future. I have already used one suggestion in this chapter. Thank you for your review, I enjoyed reading it, I actually read it quite a few times. I cannot believe someone would take time and write a review like that. Thank you so much! Looking forward to hearing from you in the future. :)

And as for this chapter, I realized I still have not put Snape in an awkward situation, so I kinda tried that here. Hope it worked.;)