HI…
I am sorry I was reading 101 episodes of dares and it says that she had to stop righting if the crowed chooses anything…so I have to stop Funny short stories about fruits basket….:(. I am sad and thank you for telling me Kyonkichi-san I don't want to break the rules so this episode is to
MysticSorceror
2008-04-16
ch 9,
abuseNote from Myst-chan:
No offense but I don't think many people care that you have a boyfriend. I actually have a girlfriend -
Things I liked:
Good selection of characters
I like the idea of the erasers
Ways to improve:
Try to get the diction to be more casual instead of formal
Work on characterization a little more
Myst
Things I didn't like:
The end word lasted too long and got a bit annoying
Why are you shortening their names - you don't need to do that
MysticSorceror
2008-04-15
ch 8,
abuseI'm not sure you should include this, could easily remove it and then ban you from the site. Just a heads up -
Myst
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 9,
abuseLol giant erasers!
Hahahahahaha!
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 6,
abuseKakeru likes butting in,doesn't he?
Funny!
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 5,
abuseReally funny!How about Hiro&Momiji?
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 4,
abuseThat is so funny!Even Tohru used it!
Hahahahaha!
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 3,
abuseNever thought Ren likes bubble gum...hmm...
I just thought of a next pairing:Haru&Tohru and Haru&Yuki.
Kyonkichi-san
2008-04-13
ch 9,
abuselol this was funny! poor manabe, by the way it's called the shoji screen :D
Hmm, how about one with Kimi and all the Sohma guys?
animeprincess32
2008-04-13
ch 2,
abuseHahaha!This is funny!
Can you put in Yuki&Tohru?
Child-Of-God
2008-04-13
ch 9,
abuseHA HA! Giant Erasers! Poor Kakera! Thanks. Good job and I loved it! Yeah!
rockangel160
2008-04-13
ch 9,
abuseCongrats on the new BF! You wanna know what's weird? Just this morning, I ALSO updated my story, and the chapter is about a nightmare! Anyway, this story amused me! Keep it up!
MysticSorceror
2008-04-07
ch 6,
abuseThings I liked:
Good couples
Ways you can improve:
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Try and work a little more on characterization
Creative work
Myst
Note: Only read this if you can take brutal honesty:
..
Things I didn't like:
The chapter doesn't make any sense, why would Kakeru think they were talking about that
It doesn't make sense and Tohru is included for much too short a time
MysticSorceror
2008-04-06
ch 5,
abuseThings I liked:
Great couple, I'm pretty excited about how these characters could be connected
Aww, hugs Rin I love her style as well
Yay Haru glomps him to death
Wow 0.0 Will that toilet ever let up?
Ways to improve:
Try to make sure you've got the right form of words: for example hear should be here
Work on characterization a little
Watch out for repetition
Great work
Myst
Only read this if you can accept harsh comments.
..
Things I didn't like:
Hot head? I don't think Aya would ever say that
I'm surprised she didn't make Haru come with her
MysticSorceror
2008-04-02
ch 4,
abuseThings I like:
Good choice in characters
I like the image of Kakeru on Kyo's back
Warning: I tend to be brutally honest
..
Things I didn't like / ways to improve:
Credit the person who gave you the idea
The diction is too formal
Characterization needs some work
That is a really really weird nickname 0.o
Spelling issues
Anyway pretty funny
Myst
MysticSorceror
2008-04-01
ch 3,
abuseThings I like:
I like reading about this pair
Warning: I tend to be brutally honest
..
Things that need improvement/that I don't like:
Would Akito or Ren really say Yaa?
The language seems too formal
Bubblegum?
Myst
MysticSorceror
2008-04-01
ch 2,
abuseThings I like:
I like the setting, very few people tend to do something at this age
Nice ending
Thanks for crediting the person who provided the idea some people forget
Warning: I tend to be brutally honest
..
Things I think need improvement:
The box idea is kind of cheesy
You used the wrong here and the wrong their
Spelling issues
Why would it be in the grandchild's mouth
Try not to put author notes into the actual text
Why wouldn't Tohru care about the grandchild?
Myst
MysticSorceror
2008-04-01
ch 1,
abuseI'm looking forward to reading these and I know CLFBF from her reviews on some of my own fics.
Good luck
Myst
Kyonkichi-san
2008-03-30
ch 6,
abuseLol, I loved it! thanks for using my pairing! I liked the Manabe touch
Child-Of-God
2008-03-30
ch 6,
abuseOkay maybe Kyo, Yuki, and Kakeru? I know Kyo can't stand Kakeru.
loritakitochan
2008-03-30
ch 3,
abusecool.
Akito,Shigure and Mogeta!
rockangel160
2008-03-30
ch 6,
abuseHow about The "Prince Yuki Fan Club" and AKITO?! The last thing Akito wants is a group of girls after Yuki.
rockangel160
2008-03-28
ch 5,
abuse"I GOT IT! A FLUSH TO SUCCESS!" LOL That was my favorite part!
Kyonkichi-san
2008-03-28
ch 1,
abuseokay...what if i put more than two...?
I'll just put two name pairs for now...
-Yuki & Machi
- Kimi & Manabe
- Kyo & Tohru
Kyonkichi-san
2008-03-28
ch 3,
abuselol ren...bubble gum...who knew?
Kyonkichi-san
2008-03-28
ch 4,
abuselolol! I LOVE KYO AND MANABE! Can't stop laughing!
-chee! cookie.dough.luv
rockangel160
2008-03-28
ch 4,
abuselol The next chapter should be Ayame and Rin!
nura23
2008-03-28
ch 4,
abusehaha, that was funny! Hmm, I'll send t other characters but maybe later cause ican't think of anyone right now
nikkinaz6
2008-03-26
ch 3,
abuseim sorry, that was kind of...stupid. i understood it but it made no sense. sumimasen.i usually don't give any mean reviews whatsoever.
nura23
2008-03-24
ch 3,
abusewhat about the characters I choose? are u going to it? great chapter btw!
rockangel160
2008-03-22
ch 2,
abuseYou know what I enjoy? Akito and Ren! They are so much alike yet they just can't get along.
nura23
2008-03-22
ch 2,
abuseHm.. could you write something between Kakeru and Kyo..I know Kyo cant handle Kakeru..haha
Child-Of-God
2008-03-22
ch 2,
abuseMaybe you could do with Hatori and Yuki? Maybe like an appointment for Yuki that went bad? I don't know, surprise me!
And MY FIRST REVIEWIER!!
Chrysolite Heart
2008-03-22
ch 1,
abuseWell obviously you should do one with actually not just two but three. Kyo/Yuki/Tohru...something embarassing for Tohru I guess. LOL Can't wait to see what you'll come up with.
THANK YOU SO MUCH CRIES and to my friends…
CLFBF and Litkit…THANK YOU!!
Thank you all for being so nice. I loved righting the stories…well BYE BYE!! Cries I really am crying…and thank you to Nick…opps (Ha you don't know who that is XD!)Thank You sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH! I can't go but bye… BYE BYE TO YOU ALL AND THANK YOU!! Thank you….sniffle. BYE!