Hello again, my lovelies! This is the chapter you've been waiting for! Maybe. Y'all may hate me for this, but it had to happen. I normally don't do this, but could I maybe hopefully get a review or two on this chapter? It would help my self-confidence so much. Just like, let me know if you love it or hate it. I'll see you lovelies whenever I have stable internet again, which may be awhile. As it is, I had to type this chapter on my phone and use my hotspot to have enough of a connection to post it. I was determine to get this up and I hope you lovelies enjoy it! ~Shaymie

Philip

"Philip, are you sure this is a good idea? We could get in trouble for it." Rachel frowned up at me, her eyes anxious and uncertain. She was never one to break the rules, but when I told her what I was going to do she decided to tag along. She even decided to skip out on dance class because of it, though I could tell that the decision had been made a bit late. She was in her dance clothes. I wonder what excuse she gave to leave class early. Aunt Darcy was one of the strictest teachers on the planet.

"Don't you want to know what the deal is with Mom, Rach?" I opened the door to Dad's study, where she had moved all copies of her autobiography. She spent all her free time signing copies to leave at bookstores. I flicked the light on and walked over to the pile of books sitting next to Dad's desk. Rachel gripped the strap of her dance bag nervously as I picked one up and ran a hand over the cover.

"From Silence to Stardom... This book has all the answers to everything we've been wondering about, Rach. We'll know why Mom's so jumpy all the time, why she hates Valentine's Day... We'll finally find out who James Reynolds is! Aren't you excited?" Rachel dropped her bag and shrugged. I sighed and opened the book. I loved my sister, but she was sometimes a bit too much of a goody two-shoes. It wouldn't hurt her to break the rules from time to time. Maybe Bex could help my sister learn how to be a bit of a rebel. She knew all about breaking the rules. I took a deep breath and flipped past all the acknowledgments at the beginning of the book, taking notice of the fact that my name was in it along with my siblings.

"I was born in a small town in Texas," I started reading aloud from the first chapter. Rachel didn't relax any, but she did at least sit down on one of the armchairs Mom had insisted Dad put in here. My eyebrows furrowed at the rest of the paragraph. "The first memory I have is of my father hitting my mother. He thought she was cheating on him. He doubted that I was his daughter. The memory of the hatred on his face will forever be burned into my mind. How he could have ever doubted my mother's love for him, I'd never understand. She was hopelessly devoted to him-which wasn't necessarily a good thing. He was an awful man, and those accusations he threw at my mother were only the beginning of his reign of terror."

"I don't like this," Rachel whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "It doesn't sound good... What does she mean by ''the beginning'? Why didn't Grandma Sophia call the police if he hit her?"

I didn't have an answer. I didn't understand, either. Aunt Mandy said that all it took for her to leave her husband was him hitting her once. After that, she packed up Bex and Tucker and came to Dad for help with the divorce. Why couldn't Grandma Sophia do the same? She should have tried to protect Mom. I read everything after that in a daze. Mom talked about how she had been diagnosed with selective mutism and how she felt that her diagnosis drove an even bigger wedge in her parent's relationship. She talked about her father's alcoholism, how she spent nights curled up in her closet begging for it all to be over. And then came the worst part, marked with a trigger warning for sexual abuse. Rachel was as pale as a ghost at this point.

"Things took a turn for the worst one January evening. My father had gotten the drunkest I'd ever seen him. My mother had stormed out of the house. It was the first time we had ever been alone together. I brought him beers while he complained about Mama and how 'ungrateful' she was and how he was going to hurt her when or if she came back. For once, I had been relieved when I was sent to my room.

"Everything had been okay for a few hours. There was no yelling or anything being thrown at the wall. I felt relatively safe in my bedroom. That was my mistake. I should have known better than to feel safe. I should have locked my door. He was still drunk hours later. He stumbled into my room and told me that it was a woman's job to pleasure the man in her life-"

"Stop it!" Rachel screamed, jumping up from her seat. She shook her head and clapped her hands over her ears. "This can't be real! This has to be a nightmare or something! Mom's dad couldn't have..."

"Mom wouldn't lie about something so serious and publish it in her autobiography, Rachel." I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Rachel left the room in tears. I looked down at the book. It was too late to back out now. This would probably be the only time I'd be able to get answers. I wiped away the tears that had escaped and powered through the book, feeling sicker and sicker the more I read. So much awful shit happened to my mother. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve any of it. I started to hate my grandmother. Some parent she was. She didn't even try to protect her child. She threw Mom under the bus to save her own skin.

I spent hours poring over the book. I didn't know how much longer I had until Mom and Dad came home with the kids and I wanted to make as much progress as possible. Who knew when I'd get another chance to read this again? I had just gotten to the part where Mom had been forced into a relationship with James Reynolds and Maria Lewis when I had to take a break. This was too much... It was overwhelming. I had no idea my mom's life was so fucked up. No wonder she wanted to keep it a secret from us. I couldn't imagine going through even half of what she had gone through. How could she even think that she wasn't strong?

I tossed the book into my backpack and left the office. Mom and Dad were bound to come home any second now and I didn't want to get caught red-handed. I dropped my backpack off in my room and went downstairs. Rachel was curled up on the couch, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. Her face was still wet with tears.

"Rachel?" I sat next to her on the couch and put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I read Mom's Wikipedia page," she sobbed and looked up at me. Oh. Maybe that would have been a quicker and easier way to get the answers we wanted. "It's awful! Uncle Colton said that he wasn't around for everything that happened to Mom. He didn't say that she got shot the day he was born!"

"What are you talking about?" I hadn't reached that part of the book yet. Mom had been shot? With a gun? Is that the reason she hates fireworks so much, why she's such a huge advocate for gun control? It would make sense. Rachel sniffled and handed me her phone, which was still on Mom's Wikipedia page.

"On the evening of February 14th, 2018, Hamilton was attending a Valentine's Day dance at her high school when Reynolds crashed the festivities with a firearm. According to several witnesses, he demanded that Hamilton leave the premises with him. When she refused to go with him, he opened fire."

"What the fuck? What the fuck?" I dropped Rachel's phone on the couch and shook my head. How could any of this be real? This is the type of shit that happens in movies or books, not in real life. Not to my mother. How could this world be so messed up? This wasn't right. This wasn't fair. Why couldn't bad things happen to bad people?

My head shot up as the front door opened. My younger siblings ran into the house dripping water everywhere. Mom and Dad walked in after them. Dad sighed as he put his umbrella into the rack and picked up the ones AJ and Will had thrown down. Mom hummed quietly to herself as she walked to the linen closet and grabbed some towels. Rachel bit her lip and looked at her anxiously. I shook my head. I knew what she was going to do. She wanted to tell Mom and Dad that we had snooped around.

"I don't need a towel!" Harmony giggled and ducked away from Mom when she tried to hand her a towel. "Will let me have his umbrella!"

"You mean you stole the umbrella," Will huffed and grabbed a towel from Mom. Harmony shrugged and ran to her room. Melody frowned and tried to help Will dry off, standing on her toes to reach his hair. Mom smiled at them and turned to Rachel and I, her smile fading away when she got a good look at us.

"What happened to you two? You look like you've seen a ghost." Rachel sobbed and jumped up from the couch. Mom blinked in confusion as Rachel practically threw herself at her and pulled her into what I'm sure was a bonecrushing hug.

"I'm sorry, Mama... I'm sorry..."