Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

- - -

Moop had just gotten on the stage, lights were going off and the crowd was cheering. Wasting no time, Stan started up his guitar and started riffing their first song.

After a while, Stan, still playing, turned to look at Kyle expectantly. But he was just standing there, bass guitar in hand, smiling foolishly. Cartman hissed away from the mic, "Play, you stupid Jew." Kyle suddenly walked forward from his place next to Stan and pushed Cartman aside, receiving a loud, "Ay!" from the fat singer. He grabbed the mic and said into it, "Is everyone excited tonight?"

The crowd cheered nervously. This wasn't what they had expected, but once Moop was prancing around on stage psinging, they didn't care much. Kyle said, "That's good, because I have a little surprise for you all." that received more cheers, "I'm going to sing a little song for you tonight!"

The noise from the crowd was deafening, and Kenny had to cover his ears to make sure he didn't bleed to death from brain damage. Again.

Cartman looked pissed off. He turned to Kyle and said, "I'm the singer, retard. Did you forget?" Kyle just kept smiling that big mysterious grin he had been wearing since Cartman had taken it upon himself to hide his guitar and leave clues around the backstage area, forcing Kyle to look for it.

Cartman turned to Stan this time and said, "First he thinks he can sing Happy Birthday to me and now this shit?! Someone needs to put that fucking Jew in his place!" Kyle had now started strumming his guitar to a tune very familiar to Cartman.

Cartman went pale. His mind was a mesh of the words fuck and nonononononono.

"You see," Kyle was saying, still strumming along, "Cartman thinks it's funny to force people to do things they don't want to do. So I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine."

Kenny and Stan caught on. Kenny started a simple kick snare beat and Stan accompanied Kyle's guitar with his own. Cartman would have walked right off stage if it weren't for Wendy who was watching at the left exit, a bemused smile on her face. He knew that if he bailed, Wendy would kick his ass and leave his balls hanging out to dry on the sunroof of her purple minivan. Plus, there was a little thing called a contract that he was legally bound to. He had to at least stand on stage, or else he would lose out on tens of thousands of dollars.

His eyes were clenched shut and he was oh so very close to wringing his hands. Yes, wringing his hands. But he still had some pride left in him! Although the pride he had left looked like it was about to up and vanish when Kyle took the mic in his hand and started singing a familiar song.

"I'm sailing away! Set an open course for the virgin sea."

Kyle stopped singing, the music stopped and the audience was silent. Everything was quiet. It seemed that Kyle's plan had failed until...

Cartman twitched. Then twitched again.

"I'vegottobefreefreetofacethelifethat'saheadofmeonboardI'mthecaptainsoclimbaboard!"

The three sane members of Moop watched the violently spasming and singing man and wondered if they had gone too far.

"We'llsearchfortomorrowoneveryshoreandI'lltryohLordI'lltrytocarryon."

There were a few muffled giggles from the crowd. Stan, Kyle and Kenny all had small smiles on their faces as they watched the blue-eyed brunet clench his eyes shut tight and sing off pitch.

"IlooktotheseareflectionsinthewavessparkmymemorysomehappysomesadIthinkofchildhoodfriendsandthedreamswehadwelivehappilyforeversothestorygoesbutsomehowwemissedoutonthat potofgoldbutwe'lltrybestthatwecantocarryon."

"Damn, that was a big one." Stan whispered to no one in particular. Kenny and Kyle nodded their heads. They were full out of grinning now and the audience was once again cheering. Cartman was completely oblivious as he continued with his weird tick.

"Agatheringofangelsappearedabovemyheadtheysangtomethissongofhopeandthisiswhatthey-"

Cartman hit the floor of the stage with a thud. The audience paid no mind, thoroughly entertained. Stan, Kyle and Kenny were doubled over laughing. Kyle saw Cartman still moving his lips, though he couldn't hear him now. The fat shithead probably forgot to breathe, he thought. He got on his knees, still smirking, and said, "What's that, fatass? Ready to apologize?"

"Comesailawaywithmecomesailawaycomesailaway you guys seriousleh."

Cartman finished the song and promptly passed out. The crowd was going wild, screaming a loud, shrill mass of noise that sounded vaguely like KYLESTANKENNYERICOHMYGODYAY!!! to Kyle's hearing.

Kyle prodded Cartman with one long finger and said, "Hm, he's out cold." Stan and Kenny grinned and started playing again.

"That was kickass, Kyle!"

"You're a fucking genius, man! These girls are ripping off their clothes for us!"

Kyle grinned.

Take that, fatass.

- - -

A/N: Srsly, my author's notes are important. I hope you guys read them. For all you normal non-fanatical South Park fans, Cartman has a tick that forces him to finish the song Come Sail Away by Styx if somebody starts it. It's from episode 201, Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut.

I think I might be a bit over my head with this, so if any of you guys have anything you want me to put in the story PM me or leave your ideas in a review. I'm seriously. I take you all super serial.

Even though this one was short, this is one of my favourites.

I was in the middle of writing my favourite drabble I've ever written, involving the boys getting arrested for Cartman's antics against a police officer. But my old laptop conked out and I never got to save it, much less upload it. Maybe one day I'll write it over.

Please review!

Swing, Swing, Swing - All American Rejects