Disclaimer: I don't own Person of Interest or its characters. If I did, the show would be going in a much different direction.

A/N: Here's a weekend bonus chapter! I'm going to be swamped this week so unless some crazy snow gets me off work, there probably will not be another chapter until next weekend. My reviewers are still as awesome as ever. Special thanks to SWWoman and blacktop. I've been reading your stories since you started in this fandom. Thanks for taking the time to read and review mine. Also special thanks to my guest reviewers, ravenhusker, kaydimz, stlouiegal, mschessplayer, Ai, Dutchie and literaturechik. You all are my loyal core reviewers. Thank you so much!

Chapter 10

December 8, 2013

As Carter stood glancing at the bleak sky, she thought about the questions she had chosen to ask John. She knew some might think she had "wasted" a couple of her ten precious questions, but it was strategy. If she knew anything, she had learned to read John Reese and his moods. He could only take so much sharing and emotion before he completely shut down. She would have to tread lightly if she was going to make the most of her remaining questions. Always the interrogator, she knew exactly which questions she wanted to ask and numbered them in her head. There was, however, one huge question she knew she was not prepared to ask yet. The one question she probably most needed answered, but that would have to wait until Simmons was neutralized and Joss Carter was officially "alive" again.

John pushed the mahogany door open and saw Carter leaned against the window frame. The outside world was bleached of all color—the sky was gray and everything was coated in white. It matched the mood inside the house. John knew that he and Carter weren't the kind of people to share their innermost feelings. In some ways they were so similar that when they shared a glance, he knew what she was thinking. Today, however, she seemed closed off. He couldn't read what was going through her head. He hoped when he started asking the questions, he could figure out what the rift was between them. Was it the trauma of the last few weeks or was it something more?

When Carter turned from the window, she saw John staring at her. She gave him a smile and took a spot in one of the brown leather wing-back chairs. John sat down in the other, propping his feet on the coffee table. He knew Harold would not approve. "So, Detective, four more questions. Better make them count."

Carter smirked "Oh don't worry, I will. So, John, how is Zoe these days?" John chuckled at the question and it gave his heart a lift. Did he detect a hint of jealously when it came to Zoe Morgan?

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her since the Murphy case." Carter could feel a thrill of excitement at his answer. She had figured out quite some time ago that John and Zoe's relationship had moved from acquaintance to something less platonic. And Joss Carter didn't like it one bit. It was even more obvious when Zoe showed up for the undercover operation at Blur. Zoe detested the concern in John's voice when it came to Joss. Carter knew when a woman was threatened and when Zoe Morgan flashed her pink taser, her gift from John, it was written all over her face. It was even more apparent to Joss when Zoe dragged John to their post undercover celebration, leaving him waiting outside. Zoe was marking her territory and announcing to Joss Carter that John was off limits. Knowing that whatever was going on between the two was over, gave Joss an enormous sense of relief. One less complication in an already thorny relationship.

Joss didn't revel in her new-found knowledge for too long. She was ready to tackle a subject that had bugged her for months. The entire sequence of events with Rikers, Mark Snow and Kara Stanton had left Carter with emotions that ran the gambit. "Do you know why Kara Stanton left me alive after she killed Donnelly?"

Carter's question stunned him. He had assumed she was out cold when Kara shot Donnelly.

November 17, 2012

John could hear the crunching of glass under boots as his former partner approached. Her witch's voice called in a sinister greeting and all John could think about was Carter. He managed to touch her neck and confirm she had a pulse. John turned when he heard the gunshots as Kara murdered Agent Donnelly. He attempted to block Kara's view of Carter but at the worst possible moment, Carter moaned, revealing she had survived the crash.

"Don't worry, lover. I'll leave your girlfriend alone for now. Let her be your incentive to cooperate. You know how easily I can take her out." Then everything went black.

"Kara and I learned quickly in our line of work what motivates people and what breaks people. There's always a careful balance between controlling someone and destroying someone. If you push people too far, they start to fight back because they have nothing to lose. She knew she would have no control over me, bomb vest or not, if she killed you."

Carter pressed on—two questions left. "If I was that important, why did you cut me out of your life after Rikers?" John took a deep breath and released it. He knew this question was coming. They had touched on it this morning before they made their little question pact.

"Do you really have to ask?"

Carter felt the anger from so many months ago resurfacing. "Yes, John, I have to ask. You abandoned me. After all your platitudes that I could trust you and that I was never alone, you walked away. I want to know why."

Now he was getting angry. She did this to him. His feelings for her were always so intense, whether it was passion or anger. They had learned early on how to push each other's buttons. "Because, Joss, you got too close to losing everything. You were taking way too many risks. You should have turned me over to Donnelly in the bank. Then you get caught with me and if not for Donnelly's unfortunate end at Kara's hands, you would either be in prison or living under some alias and separated from Taylor for the rest of your life. We narrowly escaped that disaster, and you dive head first into another one tracking me down when you knew I was wearing a bomb vest. At that point, I hadn't even heard about your adventure to swap the DNA samples. Whatever your attachment to me was, it was making you reckless and I couldn't let you keep doing it."

Carter had hit her boiling point and she started shouting. "Did you ever think that maybe you can't control everything? It wasn't your choice. I am a grown woman, a mother and an NYPD homicide detective. I can make my own decisions. You don't get to play God with my life, John Reese. I'll do things my own way and you can't stop me."

"Clearly not since you set things up to take down HR in your 'own way' and I had to hold you dying in my arms."

"Well then, let's go ahead and get this all out on the table. Here's my last question. What if I was dead, John? Was that going to be your excuse to go back to drinking yourself to death? To abandon all of the good you and Harold were doing?" John gritted his teeth before answering her.

"I hadn't gotten much past the plan to hunt down Simmons and Quinn, make them beg for death and then dump their bodies in Oyster Bay." With his last statement, John stormed out of the library, slamming the door behind him. She did this to him—she drove him crazy and yet, whether they were friends or something more, John didn't want to live in a world without Joss Carter.

A couple of hours later, Joss found him in the kitchen stirring a pot of soup. He ladled the warm broth into two bowls. "Are you hungry?" he asked softly. She nodded and sat at the island as he put the steaming bowl in front of her. He settled himself into the second chair and began eating.

"So turnabouts fair play. You're up. Ten questions" Joss stated.

John paused and then asked "What is the one thing in the City you've always wanted to do?"

Joss gave him a disbelieving look. "That's the question you ask? I just sent you through an emotional wringer and you want to know what I want to do in the City?"

"My questions, Carter. I'm waiting for your answer."

"Fine. I've always wanted to dance under the stars in the park next to the Queensboro Bridge to 'As Time Goes By.' I'm a hopeless romantic. Happy now. "

John laughed, "I never knew you were a fan of the classics. Casablanca huh?"

"Do they get much better? Love, loss, sacrifice and people that can actually act. You have to admit, it has it all" she replied.

"You don't have to convince me. It's one of my favorites." John cataloged her answer in his head. That simple question had the desired effect. They had fallen back into their easy banter, their earlier argument forgotten for now.

John decided to keep things somewhat lighter before he pushed for more serious answers. "Tell me this. What was so appealing about Ian Murphy? He acted like a stalker and yet, you let him kiss you."

Joss thought before she answered. Bingo! He was jealous. "I agreed to questions, not commentary. Ian was a nice guy. He was considerate and treated me like a lady which is something that doesn't happen all that often." Now John felt like a cad. Of course she was attracted to someone like Ian Murphy. He had invited her to a nice home cooked dinner and had been attentive—not takeout in her police car while they were staking out a new number or only calling when he needed her help on a case.

He knew his next question would not go over well, but he had bitten his tongue long enough. He had to know. "Why was Elias protecting you?"

Joss knew it was coming and was surprised he had waited this long to ask. "Elias felt like he owed me a debt."

"That doesn't tell me anything. Why?" John questioned.

"Because I saved his life." John's jaw dropped with the realization.

"That night you told me about HR's plot against Elias. You intervened? With no backup?" Joss nodded her head. "What the hell were you thinking, Carter?"

"I was thinking that I'm a cop who knew about a murder that was about to happen. I had to do something." She spat the words at him.

"He tried to kill you and kidnapped your son but you still risked your life to save that lowlife."

"Yes, John. I'm a cop. I save people. I don't get to pick and choose who to save. No one should be gunned down in cold blood, not even Elias." Her choice of words sent a shiver through him as the image of her lifeless body surfaced from his memory. He knew she was right. It was part of the reason he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Joss Carter was a good cop and a good person to the core. She had this unwavering way of determining right from wrong. "And strangely enough, that lowlife is why I'm still alive. If he hadn't intervened, some of HR's lackeys had orders to finish me off at the hospital" she continued. "But you'll be happy to know that Elias thinks all debts are paid and we are back to being enemies."

Any dealings with Elias made John uneasy, but he couldn't deny the man got results. He had somehow managed to keep Carter alive which put John into a difficult situation. Elias was the villain in the story, but he had saved the one person John Reese could not live without. John turned to Carter who was waiting expectantly. Without a word, John walked out of the library. Carter sighed in frustration. Was every answer going to make him mad? She was surprised when he returned within minutes holding a manila envelope in his hand. Recognition dawned on Carter's face. Of course he would have questions about that.

John wordlessly placed the envelope in Carter's lap. "Want to explain this?"

"I think it's rather self explanatory, John."

"Humor me and fill in some of the blanks." Carter pulled the photograph of John and Jessica from the envelope and stared at it. She wondered what path they would all be on if John hadn't left Jessica. Who would he be today? Who would she be because they would have never met?

"When I was in New Rochelle with Donnelly, we met Jessica's mother. She described a man, a lost love of Jessica's. When she described him, I got suspicious and asked if she had a picture of them together. She said that she didn't think so but some of Jessica's things were stored away. She gave me permission to go through them. I found this tucked away in a jewelry box. I know women, John. You don't save pictures in your jewelry box of exes unless there is still something there. She still loved you. When I saw the picture, I knew that you needed to see it, but I wasn't sure how you would react. I didn't want you to think I was invading your privacy, but I also wanted to return part of your past to you. The good memories that the CIA took away from you. I know it was stupid."

John didn't know how to respond. He had been shocked when Taylor had given him the photo, but her explanation was so heartfelt it left him speechless. He bent down next to her chair, placing his hand over hers and giving it a tight squeeze. "Thank you. It means more than you know." He didn't elaborate that what meant the most was not the picture, but her words written on the back of the photo.

"Carter, I know you. Does that mean you figured out my true identity?" Carter nodded her head.

"I used one of my military contacts. I didn't read your file—just your name, birth date and hometown. I shredded the file after the Jennings situation. I figured that if you wanted me to know, you would tell me yourself." John contemplated her answer. There had been many times he wanted to tell Carter about who he had been before the CIA, about his family, his childhood, but that knowledge placed her in even more danger. Only Finch knew who he had once been and to the world Harold Finch didn't exist. Soon Joss Carter would be back amongst the living, not in the shadows with John and Finch.

John stood and walked to the door. "It's getting a little chilly. I'm going to start a fire in the den."

Joss followed him and reached for the phone in her pocket. "I better call Finch and make sure that he and Shaw haven't killed each other. They've been cooped up in a car together for quite some time." John couldn't suppress a smile as he got that mental picture.

A few minutes later they reconvened in the den, taking their usual spots. Joss laughed as she described the conversation with Finch. Apparently, Shaw was driving as if she was qualifying for the Indy 500. The problem, however, was that there was no direct route to Owen Island as the officials continued to close roads. What made the situation even funnier is that she could hear Bear barking in the background. Poor Finch. John chuckled as well but then schooled his face into a serious expression. Back to business.

He wrinkled his brow as he faced her. "Why did you let us believe Paul was dead?" Carter tried to act shocked that he thought that but knew it was a valid question. John had mentioned Taylor's dad in the past and she had never corrected his assumption that Paul was dead.

"I guess to me it was like Paul was dead. The man I married was gone. Paul was not well when he returned stateside. I would have stood by him but he refused to get help. One night I found him asleep on the kitchen floor, cradling a gun with Taylor in the house. That was the last straw. My son came first so I threw Paul out. Shortly after I made detective, Paul popped back up saying that he had gotten help. I wasn't ready to let him in again, so I blew him off. Taylor and I were doing fine on our own. A few months ago, though, Taylor brought him up. Taylor hadn't mentioned Paul in years. That was about the time Cal was killed and HR was targeting me. I decided if Paul had really changed, he needed to be in Taylor's life, especially if anything happened. . . ." She let her voice trail off when she saw the pain in John's eyes at her words.

John cringed inwardly. She had been planning on not coming out of the HR situation alive. He had suspected as much but hearing confirmation was not easy. "So if you hadn't talked to Taylor the night you confronted Quinn, would you have called me?"

Suddenly all of the pieces fell into place as the truth dawned on Carter. "You called Taylor that night! He was parroting what you told him. I knew his words sounded like you! John, you used my son!" she stated indignantly.

"I absolutely used him and he was a willing accomplice. I recognize a suicide mission when I see one, Carter. You still haven't answered my question. Were you going to call me if you hadn't talked to Taylor?"

Joss slowly nodded her head "No. It was my battle, John. Something I had to finish and I didn't want to put anyone at risk."

"Except yourself," he growled. "Why, Carter? Were you so in love with Cal Beecher that nothing else mattered but avenging his death? Not your son, your mother, your friends?"

Carter sat stunned. He thought this was because of some great love for Cal. "No, John. It was about stopping a corrupt organization from hurting anyone else. It wasn't just about Cal. It was about Szymanski and the ADA who was gunned down. It was about Laskey and all of the other young cops they corrupted. Yes, I cared about Cal and I wronged him. I accused him of being a dirty cop and he died thinking I didn't trust him. He didn't deserve to die in that hellhole stairwell. HR had taken away too many good people that tried to stand in their way. I couldn't let it continue. Maybe if things had been different, in a different life, I could have loved Cal, but we never got that chance. He was a good person and a good cop who deserved better than what he got."

By this point, John was pacing the den. Joss stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. John turned to face her. He encircled her waist with one hand and cupped her cheek with the other. "Why did you step in front of me when Simmons started shooting?"

Joss took in a shaky breath. Everything was hazy and she was having trouble thinking with him this close. "You didn't have a weapon, John. I couldn't let him kill you." She couldn't make herself voice the rest of her thought. Because I love you.

He inched closer and she could feel his breath on her face as he whispered his last question. "I want you to know that no matter your answer, I'll always be here for you, but I need to know. Joss, do you feel anything more for me than friendship?" Carter opened her mouth to answer but stopped when they both heard the scratching of paws and a loud bark outside the door. John leaned his cheek against hers for the briefest moment and sighed in frustration. "Excellent timing as always." He pulled away from Carter and walked to the door to find a frazzled Finch, a pissed off Shaw and a tail wagging Bear.