-No Rain-

An Undertale Fanfic by Digitaldreamer

Chapter Ten: don't drag me through this again

And then it was another two month wait. I'm so sorry, guys. I've been really laboring over this one because it's the climax and I wanted to make sure it was as good as I could make it. It may seem a bit too rambly in parts in spite of all the edits and work. Ah well, I hope you'll all enjoy it anyway.

Also, if you haven't heard it yet, CaitieLou did a reading of the first chapter of this fanfic on her youtube channel as a teaser! She did an amazing job and added all these great sound effects and music to it and I have listened to it like a million times because I'm a complete dweeb. Feel free to search Undertale Short Stories Vol. 5 and give it a listen, it's wonderful and I love it.

A note. Yes, this climax focuses entirely on Frisk and Sans. This fic, at its core, is about the relationship between the two of them and how that relates to both the Pacifist and Genocide routes as a whole, as well as how those events have affected both of them. I wanted to make sure the other characters got their fair attention and wanted to make sure to show how this PTSD affects everyone, but at its core, it's about that confrontation in the Judgement Hall. I assure you I will be giving all other characters attention in the final chapter. So don't worry.

So uh. Hey. This is the climax. If you wanna make it even more emotional, I highly recommend some listening music! I listened to Draw your Swords by Angus and Julia Stone for the first part of this, Megalovania Slow Music Box mix for the middle section aaaaand a music box version of His Theme for the finale. All three are great choices but really just a slow piano or any sort of slower, sadder version of Megalovania on repeat would work. I highly recommend it.

I'm gonna shut up and let you all enjoy the climax now. Hope you weren't too attached to your feelings.

Chapter title is from All We Ever Knew by The Head and The Heart, which is a great song with lyrics which fit bizarrely well for this fic as a whole.

Sans had only been up to the very top of Mount Ebott once.

It had been shortly after the barrier had been broken. Those first few days when the world was completely alien and unfamiliar, the days where every choice may as well have been an expedition. He'd hiked up here with Frisk, Toriel and his brother. Papyrus' loud chatter and rage over pun exchanges had echoed through the mid-September air as they'd climbed. It was a long trek, made longer still by stopping for a picnic and Toriel's fretting that they shouldn't all overexert themselves. They'd arrived at the top eventually however, all rendered momentarily speechless by the gaping pit inside the cave.

Suddenly the fact that multiple children had fallen down did not seem such a wild concept. Also the flimsy fence and warning signs at the bottom of the mountain did not seem nearly enough. Toriel had insisted guards be stationed immediately while better precautions were put in place. As far as Sans knew, from that day forward no one had made it to the top of the summit.

Until today.

Sans stepped through time and space. The shortcut was unfamiliar. Fortunately, he ended up on the path as opposed to up in a tree or something. He did not take the time to appreciate his good fortune, eyelight flicking across stubborn foliage and rock. "Kid?" He called out tentatively.

No answer. Sans sighed, then cupped skeletal hands around his mouth and called again. "Yo, Voiceless Wonder!" Still no response. With a grumble, Sans began to pick his way along the path. He deftly avoided snarling vines and clambered his way up boulders. Ugh, he was not made for this kind of physical activity. The events of the past few days did not help.

Still, he was finding he minded less than he thought he would. The memory of Papyrus' words urged Sans forward. He felt lighter than he had in some time. There was a lot to do, but Papyrus could help. Everyone would help, actually, though it burned him a bit to admit it. The truths below the mountain had also freed his steps, though it felt strange to think it. He never would have thought that sort of talk was possible. After all, that brat had killed him. Then again, said brat was the one keeping a lid on whatever had reset things, so Sans supposed he couldn't complain. Maybe he'd visit again sometime. He'd also have to work out what he was going to do about the Prince. It seemed wrong that he was able to have a full conversation with Asriel while his parents remained unaware.

There was a lot to consider. It felt strange, even bothering to think about the future. It wasn't a bad feeling, though.

Sans came to a stop. The mouth of a huge cave yawned down at him, dwarfing the skeleton in its presence. Sans blinked up at it, eyed the stalactites hanging from the ceiling like teeth. Above him, the clouds were darkening and stirring like angering waves. The warm winds howled howled in a fair approximation of breath. It seemed the storm was finally coming.

The skeleton gazed at the cave opening, then let out a sigh. "Just gotta grab me a kid and it'll be like this crap never even happened."

He didn't have to go far. Blue and magenta stripes stood out from the gloom about thirty feet in. Tiny fists clenched at Frisk's sides as the child gazed down into a gaping hole- the entrance to the former Underground, Sans realized with a start. It stretched before them, a yawning maw that extended so far Sans actually couldn't see the other side of it in the dark. The angry mouth effect of the cave opening was enhanced here, with jagged stalactites and stalagmites snarling from every available surface. Moss stretched into the opening like drool on the waiting demon's lips.

Another wheeze of stormbreath from the cave entrance. A few pebbles tumbled into the hole, matted hair billowed. Sans heard a puff of smaller breath, watched the way Frisk steeled themselves. Aw hell.

"Hey kid, I-"

Sans meant for his introductory line to be cool and casual, as was tradition. What he hadn't counted on was startling Frisk. The child let out a high-pitched yelp and promptly lost balance. They let out another cry, small arms pin-wheeling as they lurched forward.

A blue glow snapped around them immediately like a lifeline, jerking the child away from the brink. Sans tugged Frisk back with sharp jolt of his left hand, spinning them as he did so. Frisk tumbled into his waiting arms, eliciting another yelp. "Sheesh kiddo, way to ruin my entrance," Sans grumbled into their hair.

"Sans!" Frisk gasped aloud as he pushed them away. He put a hand on their shoulder, easily overpowering their motion to get closer as he looked them over.

"Stars, what were you thinking?" Sans muttered as he brushed leaves from their matted hair, untangled and flicked a twig away in a flicker of blue magic."I thought we already talked about this whole falling again thing? It can't possibly be this appealing!"

"Sans-" Frisk's voice was hesitant, quiet, easy to speak over.

"What is all of this?" The skeleton asked as he brushed dried dirt from their tank top and shorts. "I'm all for dirty jokes, kiddo, but this is ridic-" He stopped when he got to their scuffed knees, red standing out amongst the dirt. "Aw jeez, what were you even doing up here?"

"Sans, I told everyone."

The warmth from his earlier conversations was doused instantly. He felt his eyelight go out. "That so?" The words felt hollow in his jaw. Sans backed away, felt his arms drop to his sides, forced the light back into its socket.

This was stupid. Sans knew this was stupid. He already knew Frisk had told everyone, thought he'd made his peace with it. After all, hadn't he just had a good conversation with Papyrus about the subject? Hadn't his brother still loved him in spite of everything? But there was the memory of the pain in Toriel's voice when he dropped bits and pieces, the rage in Undyne's snarls, the hurt in Alphys' typed rambling.

Frisk bit their lip, gazing up at him with wide dark brown eyes. "It…" They licked their lips as the words choked in their throat. Then they began to sign, shaky and hopeful. "It didn't go as badly as you said! They did get upset. I-I think Alphys feels bad about Flowey, and Undyne wishes she knew. And mom is sad about Asriel. But… they forgave me."

Sans gave a wooden nod. That made sense- everyone loved Frisk, how could they not? They couldn't actually remember what had happened, nobody really remembered the dust on the child's hands. To everyone else those things were stories. A sad story with a happy ending, the story of the child who saved the Underground through love. The story of how Frisk (and Sans, he supposed) saved two fallen children from themselves. That was great.

But to everyone else it was just a story. Sans, in spite of himself, still knew better. And now that everyone else knew the story, it was much harder for him to ignore.

"They're not mad," Frisk signed.

"Yeah."

"...But you're still mad."

Sans felt the weight catch in his chest. "Yeah," He admitted.

A heavy wind blew in from the cave entrance, rustled through the hole in Sans' coat, messed Frisk's hair. Frisk reached up to clutch at their shirt, fiddling with it. They reached up to sign, but were interrupted.

"You get why, right?" The skeleton asked, cocking his head to the side as he spoke. "They'll look at us different now. Everyone will always know. Sure, they'll say it doesn't bother them, but you know that's not true. They'll know what we have nightmares about. They'll look down on us- on you. Some part of them is always gonna wonder every time you pick up a knife. They'll look at you how I do."

Frisk flinched. "How do you look at me, Sans?"

"...Like you're a murderer."

He watched the child's face crumple. For an instant Sans wished he could take the words back. Unfortunately they were an expression of weight, and with each second they became more true. It was how he'd felt from the first moment his brother died, how he'd always feel no matter how many times that changed. There was no coming back from that now that it was out.

Well, there was, kind of, but it wasn't his call to make.

"Look, I get it. Your heart was in the right place. You wanted to save your little friends and you did. That's admirable- worth it, even. But results don't change the means. I'm always gonna know you're capable of doing it. I'll always know you can kill them without a second thought. I'll know you can undo this in a second- and sometimes you do, even over some stupid little thing like eggs."

Frisk shook their head. "I wouldn't do it. I would never hurt you, Sans, you're my-"

"Lying is wrong, kiddo." Sans voice came out harder than he intended. His tone made the child flinch again, but he continued. "You'll reset again. You can't help it. It's not like I can blame you, either. I'm the one who told you that the power gives you a responsibility. I'm the one who told you to do the right thing… but sometimes the right thing's kinda relative, isn't it?"

He watched their dark eyes flick down to their shaking hands. "I… I just wanted to help everyone."

"And that's great. But you can't help everyone, Frisky Business. It's impossible for everyone to be totally happy, that's not how life works."

At those words, Frisk's shaking stilled. Their eyes narrowed. "That's not true. I can make it happen." Their fingers jerked hard at the last words, as if underlining them.

Sans laughed at that. "How sweet. Determination can't fix everything, kiddo. Don't you get it? This whole mess is the consequence of that Determination. You make friends with everybody but you can't save your little friends, right? So you try to get the attention of the lost children of the Underground. They kill everyone in some battle for their souls. You win, eventually. You reset. But those friendships you started with are never the same. Those first meetings never go quite the same, there's a distance. And now that they know that rift, they can't go back."

Frisk said nothing at that, biting their lip. The winds were picking up speed outside as Sans continued. "That's what I'm trying to explain. I'm stuck with these memories now because of you. I can't handle seeing you spill flour because it freaks me out too much. I can't handle seeing you and Pap alone in the same room. I can't sleep, can you believe that? I can't sleep because what if you reset, huh? What if you reset and I wake up back Underground? Do you have any idea how maddening that is!?"

As he spoke, Frisk's shoulders slumped, their eyes getting wider and wider. That pained face was becoming one of the few things visible in the oncoming storm. They did nothing to stop the words pouring from Sans' mouth. "So, now you've gone and damned everyone else to this bullshit? How selfish can you be!?" He let out a humorless chuckle. "I'm sure you saw it. Undyne takes forever to trust anybody, do you really think she's going to fully rebuild that bridge? Alphys feels guilty enough, I'm amazed she gets through the day as is. How long do you think she's gonna handle the shit we told her about the Prince before it becomes too much? What happens if she's working alone one day and no one's there to stop her from doing something cowardly? Did you tell my bro how you crushed his damn skull beneath your foot, or did you leave out that little detail? And how about your mom, she-"

Sans' voice had been rising in pitch. Now it suddenly quieted, a sinking feeling hitting him where his gut would be. "...She knows her trust was for nothing. For both of us. She knows I didn't keep my promise, that I'm… that you…" He shook his head. "Do you get it yet? Honesty just ruins the happy ending for everyone. You gotta understand that."

Silence in the wake of his outburst. The wind outside howled. Sans took a deep breath, then shoved his shaking hands into pockets. "You should reset. I know it sounds weird, coming from me, but this whole mess has been wrong from the get go. That's not all on you, I'm the one that started it. But everyone knowing… that's not right. They shouldn't have to live with that. If you really want a happy ending, the closest you'll get is a few days back. So let's go."

Frisk was still for a moment. Then they shook their head.

Sans felt his eyelight flicker in the dark like a waning streetlight. "Excuse me?" He saw the child take a step back- his silhouette at the mouth of the cave must have made for a frightening sight. He didn't care. "Were you even listening? It's not right to force this crap on everyone else."

He got another headshake. "You're wrong." Frisk signed. "It's better to be honest. You always say that. I'm done lying."

"Difference between lying and omission, kiddo."

"No there isn't," They took a step toward him, then another. "If you know something important to someone and you don't tell them, that's just as bad as lying."

Sans felt something churn in his insides. Memories of arguing with Papyrus over the merit of his new flower friend, of the days where the knowledge of what she'd done lead Alphys to take her own life. Toriel's angry sobs from behind a door after Sans confessed to the bodies he'd left in the snow.

"Sometimes lying is the better option," He murmured. "You're young, so you don't get it, but things aren't always-"

"No!" Frisk verbally cut him off, glaring at him. They began to sign again, motions firm. "You told me there's no such thing as a gray area, not really. You lie and it's wrong, or you tell the truth and it's right. That's it."

Sans let out a frustrated breath through clenched teeth. "Sometimes you gotta take that hit for the greater good, pal. For somebody who's so concerned about helping your friends, you're awfully selfish."

"So what if I am!?" Frisk's cheeks puffed with their own frustration as they took a few steps closer. "Maybe it's selfish to tell everyone. Maybe it's selfish to let them know. But they're our friends! They wanted to know, they wanted to help! The thing that hurts them most is that we haven't told them! You're the one being selfish because you don't want anybody to know about what happened!"

Sans reeled as if he'd been punched. "What!?" He sputtered, felt his eyelight flickering back in surprise. "Those are some big words for a kid who stabbed me! You're the one who undoes everything if things aren't perfect, you're the one who killed everyone so one damn kid would be happy! You're the one who can't keep this to yourself! You…" He trailed off, realizing he was rambling. He gave a soft laugh, reaching up to rub at his aching skull. "I can't believe I'm explaining this to you. You're a kid, you just don't know any better. Just trust me when I say I've seen the bad ends. They can't handle it. At the very least, they'll hate you. You don't want that, do you?"

Frisk took another step forward, their signs methodical and sharp. "I don't care if they hate me. They wanted to know. They wanted to help us. They wanted to help you and they're already doing better. Alphys was upset but Undyne is getting her through it. Undyne was mad but she's been going on and on about how cool you are, how she wishes she'd known earlier, how she wants to train with you. Mom is worried about you but when it comes to Azzy and Chara, she knows they're at peace. Papyrus just wanted to be there for you, he wishes he'd done things differently for you, he-"

"Yeah yeah," Sans cut them off, holding up a hand. "Save it. Aren't your fingers getting tired? It's been what, three days? That's barely anything. You don't know what's further down the road. It'll get to you- all those second glances, all the times everyone flinches. In spite of everything, you're still you, Frisk. You want to be friends with everyone. In a week or two? You won't be able to take it. You'll reset. You always do. Let's just cut out all that 'will they or won't they' junk, huh?"

Small lips pressed into a thin, angry line. "I'm not going to reset. I don't care if they hate me. It's not really about me, they can hate me if they want. But I won't let you carry this alone anymore. You won't have to hide anymore. You can get better."

That got a loud, angry laugh from Sans. "Whoa, you sure are making a lot of choices for the adult here. Don't you think you're overstepping your bounds just a wee bit? Especially after all the shit you've done?"

Frisk stepped closer. They were now only a few feet away. "So what if I am? I don't care. I want to help."

Sans felt his eyelight go out once more. "Take one more step and you will regret it, kid,"

Dark eyes glared at him in the gloom. The wind howled outside. "You're my friend. I'm going to save you for real this time." Tiny hands clenched into fists as Frisk took another step forward.

Everything burned blue. In an instant Frisk's soul was squeezed tight in Sans' grip, a burning beacon in the dark. The child gasped. The noise was drowned out by his own laughter, which rumbled low in his nonexistent throat and grew louder and louder. It was not a pleasant sound.

"Did you really think we were ever friends?"

"I…" Frisk breathed out the word shakily, but was cut off.

"What, you gonna remind me of all those times I grabbed lunch with you? All the dumb jokes? The headdogs?" Sans snorted. "Don't you get it? It was an act. I'm good at that. It was all a stupid script to follow to try and keep you happy. I guessed you were an anomaly when I went through the same damn morning three times before you even left the Ruins. But you were a kid, and well, I'd already made a promise. So I thought hey, maybe if I kept you happy, you'd do the right thing. So I kept you fed. I told you dumb jokes. I kept the bigger monsters off your back to keep you safe. It was the most pragmatic option to get us out of the damn loop, and fat lotta good that did. Friendship had nothing to do with it."

A choked noise squeaked out from the soul in his grip. It could have been physical or emotional distress, Sans did not care. "I…" Frisk tried to gasp out words, then began to sign, their motions backlit by their weighted soul. "You're lying. I know you started out doing those things because you promised mom, I know my powers scared you… b-but at the end you still said-"

Sans barked out another harsh laugh. "What I said? You think that matters at all!? Please. Give a long spiel about how you gained love in the Judgement Hall, casually drop some information about the flower to make sure you know what's coming, tell you the story about your mom. Doesn't it seem like it was all spread out and paced a little too well? It's my job. I am the Judge, I am the one who watches. I can't interfere, all I can do is suggest. We both played our parts- you're the hero on some grand adventure, I'm the mysterious Judge giving you friendly advice in between bits. That's all it ever was."

He heard a whimper. "But the key to your room-"

"Whoa kid, looks like I trust you so much I'm willing to let you into my secret room!" Sans exclaimed, voice dripping with false cheer. He waved his hands in the air. "Ta-da! I've trusted you with all my secrets, I've let you in for real, that's gotta be it, right? Now you'll never go back! Except wait. You did." His left hand clenched into a fist and his magic tightened. Frisk gasped.

"But… when you were lost… when I called out to you-"

"That doesn't matter!" Sans snapped. "Go ahead, tell me how at his most fucking open, poor lost Sans tells you to give up because he already has, poor lost Sans takes it back and says he roots for you! You really think that means anything at all? Big deal, I rooted for you to do the right thing. That doesn't mean shit, and how can it? All that effort was for nothing, my little project fails. You still decided one damn kid mattered more than your family going free. That hangs on you and it always will, see?" He jerked Frisk into the air. Heat lightning flashed outside, thunder roared.

"Do you feel that? That's what you did. That's what you're capable of. This weight is always gonna be there, you don't get to just reset and pretend it isn't real!" Sans snarled over the howl of the wind. "You can't be friends with your Judge, kid, it's a major breach in protocol!"

"So judge me then!" Frisk snapped aloud, hands clenching into fists in the gloom. "If you're going to do it anyway, just say what you think and get it over with!"

His grin widened. "Is that really what you want?"

At their answering nod, he laughed again. "Alright, you asked for it." His fist tightened, Frisk gasped under the pressure. "I never trusted you kid. Never have, never will. Everyone else sees you as some precious, blameless angel, too good and too nice for this stupid world. It makes me sick! None of them know what you're capable of, even if you tell them they won't really get it. Every time somebody says what a hero you are, I want to scream. Every time I see you alone with my brother, it's all I can do to not smash your little face in. You're not a good person. I don't care that you had good intentions, I don't give a crap that your little friends had their own motives and everyone's all better now. You, Frisk Dreemur, are a murderer."

Sans thrust his arm out, sent the child dangling over the gaping maw of the Underground. Tiny legs kicked in panic, he heard a whimper of fear. Good.

"It's heavy, right?" He hissed. "Those sins on your back don't just go away, they'll drag you down forever. Or at least they should. You don't get to just reset time and pretend it all never happened, you are not above consequence. You are not an angel, you are not a demon. You're just some greedy little thing with the power to fuck over everybody's lives! You treated us like toys, acted like you knew better and everybody else paid the price for it. You are not a person, you are a construct. You're some stupid force of chance and we're all stuck dancing along with you because none of us has a damn choice in the matter. You ruined everything and I hate you!"

A gasp, labored from the pressure on a tiny soul. "I… I just wanted to help…"

"Big fucking deal!" Sans roared. "You know the saying, right? Road to hell, good intentions? Yeah, that's on you, but I'm the only one who has to walk it! How is that even remotely fair!? I'd say you should be dead, but that just resets everything again, doesn't it!? There's no winning this, there's no escaping you and I'm so, so done with it! I want you out of our lives, I want you gone, I hate you and I should just drop you down this stupid hole and bury you so no one will ever find you!"

There was a flash of lighting so bright it illuminated the entire cave. He saw eyes wide with fear, choppy hair still matted with leaves and debris. Tears streamed down Frisk's face, their lips quivered. Then the light was gone, leaving naught but broken sobs in the dark.

The soul in his grip was light.

Sans felt his anger drain away like poison from a wound. He very nearly lost his hold on their soul, but he held on. Thunder cracked in the distance. The storm was so close now. "Kid…"

"It's okay," Frisk's small voice was very nearly swallowed up in the dark. "It's okay if you hate me, it's okay. I deserve it. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't… j-just go ahead and drop me. It's okay. I-I just want you to be okay, Sans."

Fuck. What had he done?

"No. No, that's… no..." Sans mumbled, shaking his head. He drew his hand back, pulled Frisk to solid ground and set them down. The instant their sneakers touched the cave floor, their shaking knees gave way and they collapsed. Sans stood over them in the dark, listening to their wordless sobs, watching the silhouette of their shaking shoulders in the blackness. "I…" He looked away. "There you go. I hate you, now you know. Go ahead and reset. Maybe we'll both be lucky and this will be a timeline I forget."

Frisk shook their head, though all they could seem to produce were sobs.

The skeleton grimaced. "Frisk. Please. I can't…" Can't what? Can't handle all those honest emotions out in the open? Swallow the idea that he'd said all that shit after all the promises he'd made? Accept the fact that he felt that way at all? Hear a kid crying once more when it was his fault?

Again the child shook their head. "C-consequences…" They whimpered through chattering teeth.

That got a bitter chuckle from Sans. "You got me there." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Look. I'm sorry for everything I just said. I'm not being fair at all. You're not a bad person, Frisk. You're not a saint or anything, but you… your heart was always in the right place. You didn't mean to hurt them. Hell, even your friend had stuff out of their control. I'm the one who can't let it all go, that's why I left in the first place." There were dozens of heavy, pattering thuds, the first few raindrops hitting the earth as Sans continued to speak. "Let's be real. Me telling you to reset, that's for me, not you, and I shouldn't have made you carry that. I… you're a kid. You're a kid and you've had to carry too much. I just made it worse. I told you because you have this power, you've got a responsibility to do the right thing. Then I get mad when you reset? What kinda bullshit is that? How is that even remotely fair?" He gave a sad sort of laugh over the rumble of thunder and flashing lightning, saw tears still wet on Frisk's face.

"I met your friends down below. They're good kids, just like you, and they grew a lot. They told me what happened, what you did. I have all the proof I could ever get that this is it and we're never going back Underground… it doesn't matter, I can't accept it. All the facts say you're just some kid who had to do to much, and I can't get over my own junk. Forget how bad I've fucked up the Judge thing, I can't even say I'm a scientist. I came up here telling myself I'd be the one helping you, but I can't do it." He took a deep breath, trying to alleviate the tightness in his chest. It did nothing.

"I… I can't do this, kid. Everyone's gonna know I'm a fraud. Everyone knows how bad I failed them. They say they're okay with it but…" He shook his head. "I can't keep this up. I can't go back. It's either you or me that stays with the family, and that means there's really only one answer. So I gotta get out and stay out."

His words made Frisk freeze, their tearful eyes wide. "Sorry kiddo. That's the only solution." Sans shrugged like he'd just decided on lunch for the day. "Look, I'm not gonna stay out of everyone's lives or anything. I'll move somewhere else, I'll work something out with Pap. I can teleport, so my living situation doesn't really matter. I just… can't be around you, this whole mess has proved that."

Frisk shook their head, tears streaking down their cheeks. "N-no…"

"C'mon kid, you're smart. I know you see it too." The smile Sans forced was agony carving into his skull, the edges of it sharp as he plastered it into place. "Look. What kind of asshole makes a kid cry, huh? As long as I'm here, I'm gonna keep hurting you. I can't do that, it's not fair to you or anybody else. You guys don't need me here. All I do is take up space, right? I don't have a job, I'm not doing anything but moping around. A few shitty puns is hardly enough to justify what I do to everyone." Each word seemed another weight on his grin, pulling the edges down again. There was too much truth to what he was saying, too much weight. He was too heavy.

The mask was not working anymore.

So he turned away, faced the mouth of the cave, kept his shoulders hunched to form a wall. He began to walk away. "It's not right, and it's not fair to you. You saved everyone and you should be happy. I'm done messing that up for you. So be happy, okay?" With that and a burst of blue, he vanished.

The world stuttered.

Sans' jaw dropped as he found himself facing a crying Frisk yet again. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He sputtered. "Now? Now you're choosing to reset?" They leveled their chin at him, teary eyes narrowing in defiance.

"You get that I'm done, right? There's nowhere else for this line to go." Sans pointed out.

That got a headshake, their signs firm. "As long as you keep running, you won't be happy. I want you to be happy too."

A bitter laugh forced its way past his jaw. "Oh, you want me to be happy, huh? That's real sweet, but you can't force somebody to be happy. As long as I'm around you, it's not gonna happen. So if you want me to be happy, you'll let me go."

Frisk said nothing. The rain was picking up in intensity, a downpour outside. Sans turned for the mouth of the cave. "Right. Later then." He walked, vanished in a burst of blue.

The world stuttered.

"Do you mind!?" Sans snapped as he found himself facing teary eyes once more. "I'm trying to have a dramatic exit and you are really harshing the vibe here, kiddo!"

Frisk said nothing.

The skeleton let out an aggravated breath as he turned for the mouth of the cave yet again. "Look, I get it, you care about me, that's great. Here's my final lesson- if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, great, if it doesn't it was never yours in the first place. Do you understand?" He got no response- or maybe he did, he couldn't see their hands. Whatever. "Yeah. Good. Time for you to learn to let go." He vanished the sound of the downpour.

The world stuttered.

Sans ground his teeth together. "You're really pushing it, kid." With those words he spun on his heels, walked for the mouth of the cave.

The world stuttered.

A growl loosened from his chest. "Resetting over small things is what got you into this mess in the first place, remember!? How Is this supposed to help!?"

Teary eyes glared back at him.

"Fine, whatever," Sans huffed as he turned for the mouth of the cave once more. "Guess you're done talking too. Later."

A burst of blue, then the world stuttered.

"Damnit!" Sans' hands clenched into fists at his side. "You get that this isn't helping, right!? Congrats, now I'm upset and I'm pissed! Real red letter day for you!"

"I'm going to save you." Frisk's signs were pointed, deliberate even as tears streamed down their face in the gloom.

Another harsh laugh from the skeleton. "That's not how this works, kiddo. I get why you think it'll happen, everything else bends to your will after enough resets. But not this time. If you're so determined for us to face consequences, you'll have to accept what that means." With those words he turned and walked for the mouth of the cave once again. He took a few more steps before teleporting, holding his breath as he did so.

The world stuttered.

He took in a slow, frustrated breath as he glared at Frisk's teary face once again. "You can't save everybody, pal. Let me go." With those words he turned and walked for the mouth of the cave once again. He took a few more steps this time toward the downpour, then vanished.

The world stuttered.

"Stop it," Sans growled as he immediately turned and walked for the cave entrance.

The world stuttered.

Wordlessly, he turned for the exit again.

The world stuttered.

"STOP. IT." He snarled out, eye burning brilliant blue for a moment before he stalked for the rain again.

The world stuttered.

"Kid. Please." Sans' frustrated breath took cracking words with it. He wasn't sure if it was out of frustration, pain, or both."Don't you get it? I can't be around you, it's too much. I'm a bad person. I can't let go. If I am around you, if I'm honest, shit like this happens. I have killed you before. I will do it again. You're better off without me." He turned and walked for the exit, made it several feet.

The world stuttered.

"You won't hurt me." Frisk signed.

Sans forced a smile. "I wish I could agree with you, kiddo." With that he turned for the exit, inching closer to the downpour as he kept speaking. "Even if I don't blast you, I'll weigh you down with my hangups. You see that, right? Look, I already made you keep this secret for over a year. It's…" He trailed off for a moment, then shook his head. "It's not healthy and it's not good. I'm not worth it." Once again, he tried to teleport away.

The world stuttered.

The skeleton blinked out at the pouring rain. He'd been restored a little further up the path this time, his back to the child, but it still wasn't out. He kept walking. "Kid, listen. I can't do it, okay? Maybe you can handle everyone knowing, but I can't. They all know what a failure I am now, they know I let everyone die, Papyrus knows I'm even less than he thought, Toriel knows my promise-" The words caught in his nonexistent throat. He tried to shortcut away.

The world stuttered.

Sans rocked on his heels as he stared at the rain, the words still caught in his jaw. "Please. All I've ever done is hurt people. No matter what I do, it's never enough. I can't save anybody. I couldn't save the Doc, or Papyrus, couldn't save the Underground… couldn't even save you. Either I stand back and do nothing, or I wreck things. You're safer without me. I can't… please…" He kept walking for the mouth of the cave.

One step, two. He felt sweat bead on his brow, slide down his neck. He didn't dare shortcut, couldn't stand the idea of everything shifting yet again. Any second now the reset would happen, he was powerless against it, trapped between the emotions constricting his soul and that wall behind him. Just keep walking, enjoy the movement, enjoy any movement, any move forward was something, right? But he'd still end up back in that cave, he'd still be facing those tears, so what was the point?

He stepped out into the downpour, then blinked blearily up into the dark sky. Rain thundered down onto his skull, splashed into waiting sockets, pooled in his collarbone- and wasn't that something? A release after all the humidity, a relieving of pressure. Shame it didn't match the weight in his chest. He should have kept walking. He should have shortcutted away, but it all seemed so pointless.

Small arms encircled him from behind. Sans flinched, but didn't move away. "Frisk, please." His choked voice was nearly lost in the downpour.

"L-let me tell you a story." Frisk murmured into his jacket.

Sans said nothing. The rain drummed around them in sheets.

"Once upon a time, there was a skeleton. He could walk and talk and told a lot of really bad jokes. His brother loved his bad jokes, even though he pretended to hate them. The skeleton seemed really lazy and everybody said so. But the truth was the skeleton was special. He was really smart, and strong, and fast, and it was his job to watch over the whole Underground. So he did."

"Kid… I didn't..." Sans mumbled, slumping in Frisk's grip. His head dropped to his collarbone, rain thudded against his skull. Lightning flashed above them.

Frisk's hug tightened. "He did," They said pointedly. "He was always there when people needed him. Whenever somebody was going to do something bad, he was always there to talk to them. He was never mean and he never made a fuss about it, but he was always there. He was a good judge, kind but fair." Sans said nothing at that. The wind howled as if it were in pain.

"Two times, demons came to the Underground. They were lost souls and they were so scary, t-they were hurting and they wanted to hurt other people. The worst part was they could reset time, even after they died… so they just kept coming. The skeleton fought them every time he had to. He was brave. He did everything he could. He was a hero." The skeleton took in a sharp intake of breath. "Heroes win, kiddo," He murmured, his voice rumbling with the thunder.

There was a moment of silence. He felt Frisk press themselves closer with a lightning flash. "No. Heroes don't always win. Sometimes being a hero just means fighting because no one else can. Sometimes being a hero is just doing the right thing when nobody else can."

"But I didn't do that…" Sans whimpered, feeling his eyesockets burn. "I-"

"Yes you did!" Frisk's voice hit shouting pitch over the wind. "You did everything you could! Flowey said you stopped him every time! You tried to tell everyone and sometimes it worked but usually it didn't! You fought forever, even when you thought it was pointless. You tried to keep your promise to my mom and you tried to be nice for your brother, even when everything… even after I…" They trailed off for a moment, breathing hard. Sans felt them shudder.

"I still killed you, Frisk," Sans murmured hollowly. "Nothing's gonna change that."

"And I killed you," Frisk whimpered, fingers digging into the material of his jacket. "I killed you and I kept coming back, and you still didn't give up. You still kept trying to wake me up. You still called out to me every time. You still saved me."

Sans gave a sad laugh at that. "You saved yourself. I didn't do anything. I never do anything."

"Stop," Frisk whispered. "You convinced Chara. You reminded me there were things worth fighting for. You... you do so much, Sans. You work five jobs to keep a roof over Papyrus' head, you help everybody with their problems, you listen to people. You're the best brother Papyrus could ever ask for. You make mom happier than she's been in years. You remember all the nerdy stuff Undyne and Alphys are into, you… you're always there for me… you're always watching me…" There was a light thud as Frisk pressed their face into the back of his jacket.

"Sans," Frisk choked out, voice thick with tears. "Please come home. Everybody needs you. I need you. I… it's too much… I can't… remembering everything is so hard. I told everybody and they all forgave me, but they don't understand. They don't really know, you're the only one who knows and you hate me…"

His soul sunk. "I… I don't really hate you, Frisk, I didn't mean it."

"Yes you do!" The child cried into his back. "You hate me, you hated me as soon as I showed up in the Underground because I could ruin everything a-and you were right! I did ruin everything! Even here where everyone else is happy, I made you leave! No matter how hard I try, something goes wrong! I just wanted to make everyone happy, I just wanted to save everyone, I just wanted to do good…" They grabbed at fistfuls of his jacket, clutching at the cloth as if they would be blown away if they didn't. "I just tried to do good like you told me… and it's okay if you hate me, it's okay, I just… I just want you to be happy too… I just wanted to be good."

"I… I know kid…" Sans heard his own voice crack. "And you did good. You did very good. You're so good you can't even handle breaking eggs. It's not your fault I can't get over it, okay?"

"I can't get over it either," Frisk sobbed.

Something clicked as the winds died down.

"I-I have nightmares almost every night!" Frisk continued. They were shouting over the downpour now, words pouring out of them in a rush. "You know, you've been there. You're the only one who understands what happened… and I can't even talk to you about it! It's not fair! I know you have nightmares just like me! You'll come when I have them if I'm really upset but you won't talk to me and… I know I don't deserve to be talked to. I know I deserve it but I can't. I can't keep holding it. I know I don't have the right but it hurts! I was so scared. I wanted to stop and I couldn't, it was my stupid idea to reset in the first place and I just wanted to do good like you told me and it's not-"

Sans turned and threw his arms around the child, crushing them to his chest. "I know," He choked out, squeezing his eyes shut. The first tears streaked down his cheekbones. "I know, it's not fair. I haven't been fair to you at all. You did everything you could to do the right thing. You tried so hard. You didn't want to kill them. Neither did Chara, not really. You all just…" His grip tightened, as if Frisk's minuscule warmth could fill the gaping hole in his ribs. "It must have been so hard. You must have been so scared, and I never even thought about it. I was too focused on my own crap."

"I…" Frisk croaked, voice muffled with their face pressed into his shirt. "I-it's okay, I killed your brother, I don't deserve-"

"Hey," Sans cut them off through his own tears. "If you get to tell me it's okay I killed you, I think I'm allowed to try to move past that and offer you some courtesy. And you can stop talking if you want, I'm sure your voice is tired."

The child slumped in his grip, relaxing a fraction. "I'm," Their fingers paused, hesitant as they pressed signs into his shirt. "I'm tired. I'm sorry, I know I don't have the right. I just… it hurts. I can't hold it anymore." They let out another whimpering sob.

Sans took a shuddering breath as he reached down to stroke their hair. "It's okay," He mumbled. "I don't think I can either. So let's stop, huh?" Frisk blinked up at him through tears. Sans flashed a pained smile. "A friend of ours said it's okay to hurt. And I think we… I think we're allowed to, after everything. So…" He paused, fighting past a sudden lump in his nonexistent throat. He pulled Frisk closer, resting his skull on the top of their hair. "So go ahead. I'm right here. I got you, kid."

There was a sniffle from the child in his arms. Then a sob. Then it was as if a dam had broke and abruptly Frisk was wailing, screaming into his chest. Small fingers clutched so tightly at his shirt the fabric nearly ripped, their voice a downpour. They shook so hard Sans could feel it in his bones, and with each shudder something loosened. Abruptly, he too was sobbing. Each gasping breath was a tug, as if he were drawing up his sorrow from a well. He was drowning and his nonexistent lungs were filled to the brim. Each howl had him spitting it out, leaving more room for air with each gasp.

With the air came words. The two of them were a mess of ramblings heard loud and clear over the torrent of rain. Sobbing apologies ran into garbled half explanations, self blame stopped by kind words, mixed to the point where it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. On and on it went, words upon words and tears mixing with tears until finally, little by little, they dwindled into spent silence.

"Hey," Sans mumbled hoarsely over the gentle patter of the quieting storm. The two of them were crumpled on the ground now, and he had to pull away slightly to get a good look at Frisk's face. "I… I know I said it already, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean everything I said. I was mad and hurt cause of everything that happened. There's still a lot to work through, but… you're still my kid, okay? I love you, and I'll always watch your back." He forced a shaky smile as a few more tears slipped out. "So don't get any dumb ideas, okay?"

Frisk blinked up at him, then flashed a shaky, watery smile of their own. "I love you too," They whispered before finally resting their head against his chest.

The two sat quietly for awhile. The sky gave its last sleepy, far away grumbles. The rain fell around them in a gentle rhythm. It was fortunate the storm had died down, Sans didn't think he could get the two of them back to the cave if he'd wanted to. His limbs felt like lead, though it was a comforting sort of heaviness. His chest, by contrast, felt miraculously light. It was as if mess within it had been poured out, all the bile scraped and scrubbed away.

It was nice.

A small hand tapped his shoulder, getting his attention. "Your eye is out," Frisk's signs were sluggish but they still managed.

"Huh?" Sans blinked, then chuckled as the child reached up to tap the right side of his skull. "Aw, don't worry about it kiddo. It hasn't worked right in years. I just keep a light there so I don't scare people."

Frisk blinked up at him in confusion. "Why not just wear an eyepatch?"

Sans shrugged weakly. "Don't wanna draw attention to it. Besides, eyepatches are Undyne's thing."

He watched as Frisk shook their head. "I think she'd like it! You two could match!"

The skeleton snorted, "Yeah, cause that's what I want. Similarities with Undyne."

"Undyne is cool!" Frisk's signs were insistent.

The skeleton outright laughed as he mussed their hair. "I dunno about that one, kid. Seems fishy." He winked and grinned at the weak giggles in his arms.

They sat in silence for another couple of moments, just watching the rain. "So judging from Tori's reaction on the phone earlier, I'm gonna guess you came up here without telling anybody?" Sans asked conversationally. Frisk fidgeted uncomfortably in his arms and Sans gave a snort. "You're so grounded, buddy."

Frisk's cheeks puffed in frustration. "Then you should be too!"

Sans snickered. "Can't ground an adult, pal." He then paused to consider Toriel's tone from their earlier phone call and felt a shudder go down his spine. "...Actually on second thought, your mom may actually kill me."

"Good!" Frisk's signs were pointed and they gave a sharp nod. "Serves you right for this wild goose chase!"

Sans laughed again, a deep, booming one that seemed to echo in his cleared chest. "You've been hanging around my bro too much, kid. You sound just like him." He propped his chin on top of Frisk's head as he gazed out at the rain. "Well, between what I said earlier and us sitting out in this rain, we're probably both dead. Sorry I can't shortcut us somewhere dry, I'm totally spent."

Frisk made a humming noise, then let out an excited gasp. They nudged themselves loose from Sans' hug, then shuffled around in their pockets for a moment. Finally they pulled out a slightly soggy pack of Monster Scout cookies.

"Oh hey!" Sans chirped excitedly. "I don't know how you fit all this stuff into your pockets but I am not complaining." He took several of the offered cookies, then began to munch. "Huh. The peanut butter froggits are still pretty good, even after the soggy cereal treatment." He watched Frisk make a face and snickered. "Did ya get a Tem flavored one?" At the child's nod he laughed. "All right, you can have one of mine."

He went to hand off the Tsundere plane one, then abruptly pulled it out of reach. "'I-it's not like I want to be eaten by you or anything, idiot!'" He chirped in a decent approximation of said monster's voice. Frisk giggled as they took the cookie.

The two remained like that, entertaining each other with the cookies. Around them the rain slowed to a drizzle, the first hints of morning light peeking through the clouds. The renewed summer heat made quick work of Frisk's sopping hair and their wet clothes, a gentle breeze taking the edge off. Fortunately, the sticky humidity seemed to have passed and the storm was over. The sun was shining. Birds were chirping.

Frisk let out a long breath as their laughter tapered off. "It's a beautiful day outside," They whispered as they settled into Sans' arms again, eyeing him meaningfully.

Sans blinked down at them, then smiled.

"Yeah. It is."