The Heart of the Jedi
by ardavenport
/o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\ - - - Part 10
Qui-Gon weighted an end cap in his hand. Then he picked up a second one. The third one before him had come from his now disassembled saber hilt. He finally settled on the one that had come from his previous saber, but he put the other two choices away in a mesh bin, with the other spare parts, in case he wanted to look at them again.
He looked at the parts laid out in approximately the positions they would be in the assembled saber. Then he compared them to the design, glowing on the screen at his work area.
This saber seemed to be coming to him very slowly. He had changed the design several times. It had started out being very similar to his old saber, but every time he tried a prototype it felt wrong, compelling him to make another modification. Obi-Wan had already settled on most parts of his saber, including the outer housing.
He picked up the crystal chamber, turning over the translucent cylinder; silver metal studs on it reflected the work light. He wondered again if he should use a design that would allow his saber to twist and come apart in the middle to extract the crystals directly, or have only access from the ends, so the whole mechanism could slide. Qui-Gon had been satisfied with both choices on different sabers. Obi-Wan had immediately chosen the latter for himself.
Qui-Gon could not explain his indecisiveness, but the pieces he had assembled and looked over did not feel quite right to him when put together.
He had never been mechanically inclined. While some Jedi Masters designed every logic circuit, fashioned every tiny energizing rod, Qui-Gon's sabers were more a task of choosing parts and assembly, though he did always fashion the hand grip himself.
Soft footsteps approached. Qui-Gon knew it was Obi-Wan even before he came around the corner of the row of workstations that he sat at. The very faint impression that he was the person walking tickled his senses through their bond. Obi-Wan was not yet experienced enough to consciously pick out the subtleties but he seemed adept enough at anticipating his Master sometimes.
Obi-Wan appeared at the end of the row and came to him. He had been initially disappointed that his Master had chosen a workstation in another part of the room, but Qui-Gon expected that he would see the wisdom of them not looking over each other's shoulder while they worked.
He turned to his waiting apprentice.
"You have a question?" he asked.
Obi-Wan held out his hands. He had four different power cores, all the same size, but different types.
"I'm not sure which one would be best," he explained.
"Aah," Qui-Gon responded, understanding. The choice of power core was one of the simplest for a lightsaber. The size, shape and shielding of it was more important than the power specifications. Qui-Gon had already selected a new one for himself, exactly the same type as the one in his old saber; one choice that he did feel confident in.
He took the four cylinders and lined them up on the edge of his work area. As he handled them, he immediately knew which one he thought would be best for Obi-Wan, but he said nothing. He needed to show Obi-Wan how to choose, not to make the choice for him. The details of this choice were not taught to Initiates, only Padawans, but Obi-Wan had been doing so well with building his saber, Qui-Gon had thought that he might wait until he had a complete assembly before showing him.
Taking a thick, flexible square from the back of his work area, he wrapped it around the first shielded core. That approximated the diameter of the completed saber hilt. He waved it up and down, explaining to Obi-Wan what he should and should not be looking for. "Let me show you," Qui-Gon said.
Obediently, Obi-Wan took the wrapped power core, closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Qui-Gon got up and moved behind Obi-Wan. His large hands easily covered Obi-Wan's wrist and hand. He guided Obi-Wan through the motions of testing the feel of the power core. Qui-Gon taught every new form or lightsaber technique the same way, guiding him through the motions, the Force flowing between them so that Obi-Wan's mind and body would know exactly what he was to learn.
For this lesson, Qui-Gon revealed something new.
Even with an inactive power core a Jedi could sense how the Force would flow through body, saber and blade. The crystals and focusing rings contained and directed the blade, but the true power of the Force flowed into the core, renewing the energy of the blade. Lightsabers were designed that way so that even untrained Initiates would instinctively wield them that way as long as they used the Force.
Qui-Gon's last lightsaber had been constructed with a new and fully charged power core. In all its years of use, he had never needed to recharge it.
Speaking softly, Qui-Gon guided Obi-Wan's arm through the gentle sweeps and arcs that he had used. Eyes wide with surprise, Obi-Wan gasped, his hand held between Qui-Gon's and the power core. Obi-Wan already knew about the intuitive power of using a lightsaber and that the Force could renew the blade. Qui-Gon now taught him more about the control, how he would consciously strengthen it and how he would let it guide him.
Qui-Gon lowered Obi-Wan's arm.
"Now wait," he said before Obi-Wan could speak. He put back the power core, picked up the next one in the row and wrapped the flexible square around it. His hands once again enclosed Obi-Wan's, which held the new core. He again took his apprentice through the same motions.
"Feel the difference?" he asked over Obi-Wan's shoulder. He nodded, but didn't speak. They did the same for the other two power cores, then Qui-Gon resumed his seat, facing Obi-Wan.
"Now try again, with each of them." Obi-Wan silently nodded and tested them one at a time. Qui-Gon could sense his new awareness. The flow of the Force was a gentle breeze now compared to the torrent it could be with an active lightsaber, but the basic idea was the same and Obi-Wan had clearly grasped it. But Qui-Gon also sensed a discord accompanying it. Obi-Wan's awareness improved with each core, but his expression grew increasingly unhappy about it.
He asked Obi-Wan if he now knew which one to choose. Obi-Wan pointed at the one Qui-Gon had expected him to. Qui-Gon smiled.
"Something else is disturbing you, Obi-Wan," he said. His apprentice's eyes looked downward. Qui-Gon waited patiently for him to speak.
"I just sensed how strong you are in the Force, Master." Obi-Wan stopped averting his eyes and straightened. "And that I know now that I will not be." He looked like he was expecting a punishment.
Qui-Gon stared back.
"I have many years of experience, compared to which, you are still a youngling. You cannot know how your abilities will change as you mature."
Obi-Wan nodded sincere agreement to that. "I know that, Master, but -"
"No, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon cut him off to squash this sudden, inexplicable defeatism. "Your abilities will be what they will be. Do not anticipate them. Any predictions you manufacture for yourself will become self-fulfilling, and I will not allow that."
"I only meant. . . . that I know I won't become as powerful as -"
"No, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon waved his hand downward to cut him off again; this line of thought was even worse. "Wielding a lightsaber is not about power, young one. If it were, then Jedi would hurl Sith lightning instead of channeling the energy through the blade. The lightsaber is also the instrument and symbol of a Jedi's control and connection to the Force, not just its power."
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan replied quietly. Qui-Gon looked at him critically. He read only confusion and hurt from his apprentice. More words would either encourage this new attitude or harden it into stubbornness.
"We will include this in all our future training. Tomorrow." A look of surprise briefly crossed Obi-Wan's face before retreating to neutral. They had been planning on one more training session before last meal. "In the meantime, I would suggest you meditate on what I have said."
Subdued, Obi-Wan silently nodded, collected his power cores and left. Qui-Gon turned away from his departure, back to the pieces of his own work.
/o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\ End of Part 10 /o\\\'/o\\\'/o\\\