A/N: Here we go, chapter 10!
Chapter 10: In between days
When El got home from school that day she saw an unknown car parked in the Hoppers' driveway. It took a minute for her to realize that it was Joyce Byers' green Ford Pinto.
Oh.
El was very fond of Joyce, the older woman always treated her with respect and the loving care a mother would. Though she still wondered why she was there, specially without Hopper in sight.
"Hi Ms. Byers". El said quietly as she entered the living room.
"Oh! Hi sweetie". Joyce responded, slightly surprised to see El earlier than she expected.
"What are you…?" She started asking, but Joyce got ahead and explained before she could finish.
"Oh Ellie, your dad called me". She paused. "He's very worried about you".
"Oh".
"Come here sweetie, let's have some coffee and cake, I brought your favorite".
Even if she hadn't been eating much during the last couple of days, the thought of chocolate cake and coffee was too much for El to refuse.
"Ok". She said, giving her a grateful smile.
Joyce went into the kitchen, humming softly to herself as she poured the steaming liquid into two mugs and cut off the slices of cake. El helped her getting the mugs and plates to the living room and they sat comfortably in the couch.
"Sweetie, I know you are having a hard time right now". Joyce told her softly, after sipping her coffee. She was looking at El compassionately.
"And that things feel hopeless, but you have to be careful. I know what it is to berate yourself constantly because you think you made a mistake. And yes, I'm not saying you shouldn't feel bad when you do something wrong, but you can't let your guilt consume you".
El sighed softly and looked down. She knew Joyce was right, she had to move on from her guilt and go back to being herself again. She couldn't let her remorse drive her to self-destruction.
"I know". She admitted after what seemed like minutes.
"Mike is a loyal and stubborn boy, it might take a while before he forgives you, but I have faith in him".
"What if he doesn't forgive me Ms. Byers?" El asked with uncertainty.
"Oh sweetie, then you will have to learn to live with that". She told her sympathetically, rubbing El's arm softly, trying to bring her some comfort.
"It hurts so much Ms. Byers, how can I move on from this? From him?"
"There is no method for it, Ellie, you just have to. Slowly, one day at a time. Start by trying to fight off any negative impulses you have: eat even when you don't feel like it, go to school, be with your friends, spend time with your dad; and little by little the small things will start to make you feel better".
El considered her words, she knew Ms. Byers was right.
Even before tonight, she had been considering trying to go back to her routine. She was so sick of feeling sad, of not being herself; of waiting for Mike. She was getting fed up with this attitude, hers and Mike's. She loved him, but she had to love herself more. She had to forgive herself.
And if he couldn't forgive her, then maybe 'they' weren't meant to be anything at all.
Meanwhile at the Wheeler's household, Mike was waiting patiently for Nancy to pick up her phone.
"Hello?" Nancy's voice answered at the other end of the line.
"Oh! Hey Nancy! Can we talk?" He asked quickly, happy that he could finally talk to his sister.
"Oh, hey Mike, what's up?"
"I…I got hurt Nance…with El…" He said quietly.
"Oh Mike… I'm sorry. Tell me everything". She said understandingly.
And so he did. He told her what happened at Benny's, he told her how he hadn't wanted to know anything about El for a while, unwilling to even listen to any of her explanations, and finally, how shaken he had been when he noticed for the first time how fragile and jaded she looked.
"So…what do you think?" He finished uncertainly.
After a beat, Nancy answered.
"Well, think about it: why would she be miserable if she was playing you? Why is she hurting if you don't mean anything to her? Why does she want to apologize? If you were a joke to her, she wouldn't bother with you Mike. Not after getting what she wanted from you…if that was the case".
"You think she truly wants me? That she's not just toying with me?" He asked her, slightly hesitant.
"Mike, girls make mistakes too. Are you going to punish her for the rest of her life?" She said as a matter of fact, pausing briefly before adding: "Are you going to punish yourself too?"
Mike didn't answer, contemplating what his sister was saying.
"I know you're just kids in high school and that you think you have your whole life ahead of you to fall in love, that's true. But what if you're letting go of something amazing just because you can't forgive?"
"I suppose you're right". He conceded, though he was still doubtful.
"Talk to her, listen to what she has to say and then make a decision. And ask yourself this: are you willing to forget her? To truly get her out of your life and move on once and for all?"
No.
At his silence, she inferred his choice.
"Then there's your answer Mike".
"Thanks Nance".
"You're welcome little brother. Let me know how it turns out".
"I will".
"Good. Bye then, tell mom I said hi!"
He chuckled.
"I'll be sure to tell her. Bye Nance!" He said and finally hung up.
Nancy's words echoed through Mike's head. They made sense somehow. In the end it all went down to whether he wanted her out of his life for good or not. Was he willing to let El go?
He had a long weekend ahead of him.
On Monday morning Mike arrived early to school, he wanted to go through his notes for the presentation before the beginning of the lesson. As he made his way through the hallways of Hawkins High walking in the direction of his classroom, he began to feel slightly anxious about seeing El again.
He had done a lot of thinking during the weekend, about what Nancy had pointed out, about his own feelings for El and about their ill-fated relationship. He was still confused and hadn't decided on anything yet. Mike was afraid of getting hurt again and regardless of his determination to fix things with her and forgive her, if only so she would be herself again; he felt uncertain about the whole thing.
These thoughts were still buzzing around his head when he got to the classroom. He stopped dead on his tracks as he opened the door and noticed the object of his tribulations quietly standing by the board, apparently rehearsing her part of the presentation. Mike couldn't help but observe her silently. She seemed better than she did on Friday and her jaded look had been replaced by her usual, proud stance.
Huh…
"Oh, hey Wheeler". She greeted as she looked up from her notes.
"Hi". He said simply, still puzzled by her change. Where was the girl from Friday?
"Are you…ok?" He asked slowly.
"I'm fine, just getting ready to nail this thing, you know?". She answered smiling slightly.
And he couldn't stop himself from smiling back at her.
Their moment was fleeting though, as the rest of the students began to make their entrance into the classroom. Soon their teacher arrived, and it was time to begin their presentation.
It went more than ok. El was wonderful in Mike's opinion, giving a clear picture of their work and explaining in detail the methodology they used and their findings. He was proud of them for a job well done, and he was proud of El for her thorough preparation, given the circumstances.
When the class was over, she came by to his desk and smiled hesitantly.
"That was pretty cool Mike, we did a good job".
Mike stopped putting things into his backpack and looked at her.
"Yes, we did". He agreed softly, contemplating her intently.
"I…I know things have been awful since that Friday…" She began hesitantly. "But I was hoping we could…talk?" She seemed visibly nervous now.
Yes.
He answered before he thought about it.
"Ok. We can talk".
Relief took over her face and she smiled timidly.
"Good".
"Youcancomeovertothebasementthisafternoon…" He offered, rambling desperately fast.
It appeared his brain had made the decision before he even understood what was happening.
You're such a mouthbreather Wheeler…
"Hmm…sorry what?" She asked, puzzled by his unintelligible invitation.
"I said maybe we can talk at my house this afternoon?" He repeated, now clearly and articulate.
"Oh! Sure, that would be great. See you at 3:45?".
"Yeah, that sounds good". He said casually, trying desperately to hide his eagerness.
She smiled.
"Ok. I'm off to chemistry now. Bye Mike!" She said, feeling happier that she had in weeks: Mike genuinely seemed more likely to listen to her now than in the last few weeks.
"Bye El".
Alone with his thoughts, nervousness sat quickly in the pit of his stomach, but Mike paid it no mind. He was determined to overcome his fears and solve this once and for all.
When the bell rang, Mike rapidly put his things away and practically ran to the bike rack to pick up his bike.
"And what's up with you Michael?" Dustin inconveniently asked.
Startled, Mike turned around to find his friends looking at him expectantly.
"Yeah dude, you virtually ran all the way here". Lucas added, agreeing with Dustin.
"Ah…I…I'm late for something".
"Hmm…it sounds like you're lying Wheeler. Could it be that you are off to meet certain air-headed cheerleader?"
He sighed defeatedly, knowing it was of no use to deny it.
"I'm worried about her Max, she hasn't been herself lately and I couldn't bear it if anything happened to her because of me".
"Mike's right though, she's been having a hard time, my mom told me about it after she talked to El last week".
"So, what if the princess is feeling guilty about what she did to Mike? Serves her right!"
"Max, I appreciate you trying to look out for me, but I must do this. I need to know her side of the story at least before getting her out of my life, if it comes to that anyway".
"Fine then, just don't come crying to us when she breaks your heart. Again". Max told him petulantly.
"Max…" Lucas started warningly.
"What?! I'm just saying! I don't trust her".
"Don't be so harsh on her Max, she's not that bad". Will cautioned softly.
"I just…well it's hard for me to like her after all the shit she put Mike through. Plus, I can't stand her princess extraordinaire attitude. Like everyone owes her something". She explained hotly.
"I know babe, but that's Mike's decision to make". Lucas told her wearily.
"Yeah Max and she's hot too so…" Dustin added as a matter of fact, very inopportunely.
"Dustin!" Mike protested.
His curly-haired friend only smiled apologetically.
"Go on Mike don't be late". Will encouraged.
Mike nodded and quickly hopped on his bike.
"See you later guys". He said as he pedaled in the direction of his house.
At precisely 3:45, there was a knock on the basement's door. It didn't occur to El to knock on the front door, used as she was to go around his house through the basement. Promptly, the door opened, and a jumpy Mike let her in.
Seemingly, he also didn't expect her to use the main entrance to his house.
Silently, she made her way inside, looking around curiously, as if deciphering if there were any changes since she was here last. Meanwhile, Mike stood soundlessly, watching attentively as she perused the room.
"So…I guess I should start, right? Better to get this over with". She said decidedly, breaking the silence that had ruled their encounter from the beginning.
Taken aback by the sudden change in the air, Mike only managed to nod awkwardly, making a weak motion with his hand inviting her to sit on the couch. She did, and he followed. Now they were both facing each other, with El looking contrite but decisively self-confident.
She took a deep breath and begun.
"Sometimes I don't connect my brain to my mouth and I say stupid things". She said simply, before pausing for a short time.
"That day at Benny's the pressure got the better of me and I played along, still trying to keep 'us' a secret". She continued, and Mike observed her silently.
"I realize now that was a mistake. Everything about the way I handled things with you was a mistake, I should have given you your rightful place and loved you the way you deserve".
The revelation hit him hard and shock registered on his face, but he remained silent, allowing her to continue.
"And the thing is Mike… that yes, I fucked up…majorly…but you're not my life". El admitted solemnly.
His eyes widened, and he was about to interrupt but she beat him to it.
"I love you, like I never thought I could love anyone, and it took me a while to come to terms with that. Because of it, I made a mistake and I hurt you".
Mike could only look at her, not really knowing how to react to her finally admitting that she loved him. El kept going though.
"But I hurt myself too, you know? Even if you think I'm just some heartless, immature girl". She confessed sadly.
Suddenly he felt angry with her. She was hurt? She felt bad? What about him? He had felt like shit and she had felt 'hurt'? Irrational pain enveloped him.
"Will you get to the point, Hopper?" He snapped, exasperated by the sudden change in his own feelings. El Hopper made him feel uneasy these days, and he wasn't sure why.
She narrowed her eyes slightly, visibly annoyed by the change in his tone.
"Ok Mike. The point is that I've tried to apologize for this enough times and it ends now. What I'm trying to say is that I'm asking you one last time for another chance. To let me make this right". She said firmly, staring deeply into his eyes with determination.
Mike remained still, stonily gazing at her with serious eyes, but he didn't say anything.
At his silence, El continued.
"But if you don't want me…then this is it, I'm done saying sorry and I'm done suffering for you". She explained resolutely.
What El was saying sounded like an ultimatum, and in a way, it was. She didn't say it to pressure him into getting back together with her, although she would love nothing more. No. This was self-preservation. El needed closure, to move on with her life. With or without Mike…as much as the prospect of losing him definitively would hurt her.
In the meantime, he kept staring at her with a mixture of hesitancy and confusion at the admission that she was finally giving up them. On him.
This is what I wanted…right? For her to get out of my life.
For a while at least, he did. He wasn't so sure anymore.
Doubt clouded his mind as the response to his question, but El didn't wait for him to vocalize it.
"I guess I have my answer". She admitted resignedly as she stood up from the couch.
"Goodbye Mike". She said finally, as she reached the basement's door.
Her gaze was sad, though Mike could still see the purpose in it: she was determined to move on from him once and for all.
And then, El walked out of his life for good.
Or so he thought at the time, anyway, because ten minutes hadn't gone by when he snapped out of his haze and ran after her.
This can't be over. I don't want it to be over!
Everything he talked about with Nancy came rushing back. He wasn't going to give up that easily.
She couldn't be very far from his house, so he ran as fast as he could following the path to the Hoppers' household. Mike ran and ran for about 5 minutes until he reached Hawkins' main street, but there was no sign of El anywhere.
Panting heavily, he stopped in front of the local bookstore to recover his breath. Hands on his knees and bent over with exhaustion, a voice brought him out of his reverie.
"Mike!"
He looked up surprised and managed a weak but audible:
"El!"
She smiled softly and nodded as if confirming he was right, while he kept panting unevenly.
"I'm…I'm…I'm dying here, sorry…" He said sheepishly, between ragged breaths.
El couldn't help but giggle at the sight of him and his exaggerated comment.
"Give me a second…no, wait, better make it a minute…" He managed, while holding his index finger in warning but sounding more like desperate pleading.
"Take your time Wheeler, I'm here". She said goodhumoredly, though it seemed her admission held a another, deeper meaning to Mike.
She's not going anywhere. Not this time.
El gave him a small, reassuring smile and Mike tried not to melt on the spot: the vibrant El was smiling at him again. He smiled back at her between smaller gulps of air.
"I…could we talk for a bit? There are things I didn't say back at my house, things that I would like to tell you now…" He said as soon as he had recovered his breath.
"Sure, should we walk?"
"Yes". He agreed, and they slowly began the walk towards El's house.
They were silent again for a moment, before Mike finally spoke.
"I accept your apology". He said simply.
El felt relieved, all tension suddenly leaving her body and a smile taking over her face.
They stopped their march, right in front of the ice cream parlor and turned to look at each other. Mike continued talking.
"This hurt me El, a lot. I think I have loved you from the beginning, but I never had the courage to say it or to communicate what I really wanted from you…"
Her eyes widened at his heartfelt admission.
"…and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have continued with something that was dishonest to myself and to you".
El listened quietly, while Mike looked as determined as she had minutes before at his house.
"I want to start over El…if you want? Properly this time. Publicly and notoriously together".
She giggled happily and nodded her head affirmatively.
"Yes Mike, I want you. Properly this time around".
A huge grin took over his face and he grabbed her hands carefully, tugging her softly towards him and placing his arms around her waist.
"I love you El. And I'm sorry if I didn't say it sooner". He admitted fervently.
"I didn't give you much of a choice either Mike". El countered sheepishly.
"Well yeah, but…"
"No buts. I screwed up, we went all wrong about this and now we can do things right". She interrupted avidly, her face joyful and expectant.
He smiled and nodded, bringing their foreheads together in a tender gesture. They smiled contently, both ecstatic at the prospect of being together again. Without much thinking, Mike brought his face closer to El's, kissing her softly for the first time in weeks.
The kiss was sweet and innocent, like a promise of what was to come for them now that they had finally admitted what they truly meant to each other.
A/N: Dear readers, do you want this story to continue? I think I could write a couple of more chapters, maybe explore Mileven now that they are supposed to be happy together and the Party's reaction to them and to El in particular. What do you think?