Warning - this one is the hot one, and Phoebe shares her secret with Severus... As usual - just borrowing JK Rowling's characters and world for my amusement - will return completely unharmed, I promise.

Chapter 10 - Connection

Severus helped Phoebe back out to the sitting room. She curled up on the couch once more, Severus covering her with a throw rug. He removed his cloak and hung it at the door.

"I will brew the potion this evening, it will be ready before tomorrow morning. I will have Erlin collect it from the castle," Severus said, returning to Phoebe's side.

"You should not have blamed Erlin for my being sick, Severus," said Phoebe, remembering his outburst. "It is normal, it had nothing to do with whether I had eaten or not, I would have thrown it up anyway."

"It is his job!" Severus countered, not sounding the least bit remorseful.

"His job? Don't you feel bad treating him like that?" Phoebe asked, a little shocked at his indifference.

Severus wore a confused look on his face. "You have to be protected and have need of his service, that is why Erlin is here."

"Well that may be the case, but you cannot blame Erlin for things that are out of his control," Phoebe stated. "You wouldn't even have him here if you could stay with me."

Phoebe noticed Severus look away from her, she knew she had managed to get her point across without having to be too blunt or harsh. After a short moment, he gave a small nod and said, "I will be more tolerant of Erlin in the future."

It wasn't quite the response Phoebe was hoping for, but as she was still feeling a little queasy, she settled for it. At least Severus seemed to have been able to empathise in the smallest way with the house-elf.

Severus settled himself on the couch next to Phoebe. "Will you drink something now?" he requested.

Phoebe gave him a small smile, "Oh, alright… and you may as well get me something to eat as well, although I won't guarantee it'll stay put," she said, not quite giving in to his insistence.

"Erlin!" called Severus, and the house-elf shuffled cautiously into the room.

"Yes, Master," Erlin answered, his squeaky voice nervous.

"Phoebe will have breakfast now," he ordered curtly, then after Phoebe made an irritated tsk-ing noise, he added with a roll of his eyes, "…please." She smiled, at least the man was going to make an effort to be polite.

"Just toast please, Erlin," appealed Phoebe, "…and water," she added, at Severus' sharp look. "Well, you don't want to wear it, do you?" she asked him, sardonically.

"I suppose not," Severus snapped, but he did not sound entirely unamused.

Phoebe slowly ate the food brought by the house-elf, she was hungry and was hoping to keep the meal down. Severus observed her, trying not to be obvious, but Phoebe felt as though she were being monitored by an over protective father. Slightly amused, she smiled inwardly. Perhaps he was being an over protective father, the concern being for their unborn child and not just for her health. She remembered the connection he had made with the baby yesterday. 'He will make a good father,' Phoebe thought contentedly, but then more soberly, 'if he is to be given the chance.'

When she finished eating, she set the plate down on the coffee table. Severus was standing by the window, looking out. He turned to her when he heard the small clunk made by the china on the tabletop, moving back and sitting beside her on the couch again.

"I never thought I'd say how satisfying dry toast could be," she said with an amused huff. But as she noticed his smug look appear, she added, "but I usually feel better straight after I eat. I'll know in about twenty minutes whether it will stay down or not."

He gave her a quizzical look, then with a huff of his own, he said, "You are determined to be right, are you not?" raising his eyebrows questioningly. Softly he appealed to her, "Phoebe, I may not have any personal experience with pregnancy, however I do have a sufficient amount of knowledge on the subject, I have read a great deal . I can be of use, I can help you through this."

Phoebe froze momentarily, and avoided his gaze. She was just now having an internal struggle with whether she should reveal to Severus what he did not know about her. Was she ready to talk about this? Her heart rate began to quicken and she looked down at her hands in her lap. Closing her eyes, she allowed the hurt to rise causing tears to well in her eyes. But she could still think and was still able speak, and she realised it was about time he knew. She would tell him now…

"Phoebe…?" said Severus softly, interrupting her thoughts.

"Severus," she spoke, taking a deep breath, "I do want you to help, but it isn't in the way you think. I have done this before."

Phoebe looked up at his face, it remained impassive.

"You have done this before, you mean you have been pregnant before?" he asked, his voice steady.

"Yes," she responded, "more than once."

"How many times?" he asked, curiously.

"Three." Phoebe answered.

"Three!" he remarked, stunned. "What happened, did you lose them… did you miscarry?" he asked, his voice now betraying some concern.

"No," she answered bluntly. "I gave birth… all of them were healthy," she answered, quietly.

His confusion apparent, his eyes swept over her face until they met hers once more. "I-I do not understand… where are your children?" he asked, his concern now showing in his eyes.

Phoebe looked away, she could not say it while she was looking in his eyes.

"They are dead, they were killed."

There was silence for several moments before he spoke. "How?' came Severus' voice, almost a whisper.

"In a car accident… with their father. It was raining so hard that night"

"All of them?" he asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yes," she nodded, "I lost him too," Phoebe answered, her voice beginning to shake.

Severus huffed in quiet understanding, "This is your secret?" he asked, "this is… your pain?"

"Yes…" she said and could not stop the disconsolate sob tearing from deep within her. She bent forward and buried her face in her hands, crying out as her ache became more than she could bear. Her tears flowed freely, there was no stopping them this time.

Severus reached for her, pulling her close to his chest, holding her tight. Surrounded by his comforting and supportive arms, Phoebe allowed herself to let go of her emotions fully, grieving for a loss that she had not expressed in a very long time. Severus silently held her for many minutes, patiently waiting for her grief to run it's course. When Phoebe's crying lessened, he began to soothe her with whispers of support.

"I have got you, shh, it's okay."

She took several more minutes to gather her control back, concentrating on the beating of his heart to calm her breathing and school her composure. She eventually lifted her head from her hands and reached her arms around his neck.

"I'm okay now," she told him, "I'm sorry."

Severus pushed her away slightly and caught her eyes with his, "There is nothing to be sorry about." He wiped away a remaining tear from her cheek with his thumb, then he lent in to kiss her gently on her forehead. "I am glad you told me, I will help you in whatever way you need."

Phoebe wiped her eyes with her hands. "This has helped already, it is a relief to finally tell you. I wanted to, but it has been bottled up inside me for so long I was afraid how much it would hurt when I let it come out," she said, sniffing. She reached for a tissue from the side table. "This is so stupid anyway, it happened over three years ago. I thought I was over this crying part, it is supposed to be in the past."

"You still hurt, even though you decide not to show it," the man said, "I know that instead of the outright pain, you will endure a dull ache that never seems to go away. You should allow yourself to cry."

His comment suggested that he knew about pain, as if he were talking from personal experience. Phoebe gave him a quizzical look, then reached out sadly and touched his face.

"Tell me about it some day," she simply said, and gave him a quick hug. Somehow she knew she would not get an explanation today.

"We have to stop doing this," Phoebe declared, with a small laugh, "I haven't got the energy... it has been a pretty intense couple of days."

"I have to agree," Severus said nodding, "we are indeed laden down with emotional luggage."

This comment made Phoebe laugh out loud and she reached up to him and hugged him again. "Baggage," she corrected him.

"Indeed," he replied.

"You make me laugh," she said still giggling, then as she looked intently into his eyes again, she said more seriously, "I know you keep a lot of yourself hidden away, but I like what you have shown me, I want to see more. I want to see all of you… in time."

Phoebe excused herself to the bathroom at that moment, pregnant women always need to go to the toilet, and she remembered she needed to clean her teeth again. She definitely felt in the mood to kiss this man just now.

When Phoebe had finished in the bathroom, she opened the door to find Severus waiting just outside it for her.

"You are not sick again, are you?" he asked her.

With a twinkle in her eye, she answered, "No, I am feeling really good, right now."

The man read her mood correctly and before she knew it he had pushed her gently until her back was up against the wall. Holding her shoulders, he tenderly kissed her, gently sliding his hand down her side to lay on her hip. She responded to his gentle kisses and reached out to cup his face in her hands. Their kisses became deeper and she rubbed a hand seductively down Severus' chest, which encouraged him further. He reached under her shirt, caressing the bare skin with his hands. He worked his way up until his hand reached the swell of her breast, and she pushed against him, gasping, as he ran his hand across the fabric of her bra. He had stopped kissing momentarily to undo her blouse buttons, when she stopped him.

"What about Erlin?" she asked, breathing hard.

"Erlin!" Severus called out, loudly.

The house-elf appeared immediately at the end of the hallway. "Yes, Master?" he inquired.

"Go to Hogwarts, do not return until I summon you," ordered Severus.

"Yes Master," Erlin obeyed, immediately Disapparating with a pop.

Severus then turned his attention back to the woman standing in front of him, leaning in to kiss her again. "Are you still ready for this?" he asked, smoothing a hand down her hair.

Phoebe was still breathing hard, "Yes, Severus, I want to..."

The words were barely out of her mouth when she felt the man take her by the hand and lead her to the bedroom. Once inside, he closed the door. He moved up close to her again, kissing her gently once more, forcing her to reach for him to deepen the kiss. She felt a yearning, a desperation to have him.

"Oh dear God, I want you," she whispered to him. She began to undress him, 'Damn the excessive amount of buttons!' she thought, fumbling with each black button down his torso in turn. Severus worked on removing her clothing, an easier job by far.

"Beautiful…" he whispered to her, when she stood in front of him, her clothes discarded.

Phoebe felt a little vulnerable, as he still had his trousers on, but she allowed him to pull her close to him. As she was almost overwhelmed by his scent and small moan escaped her lips. She kissed him and he caressed her naked frame with his hands and as she pressed herself against his body, she could feel him hard against her hip.

She slid her hand down to his groin and ran her hand along his length, the black trouser material between them, causing him to gasp, his eyes closed, fighting for control. "Oh, Merlin," he breathed quietly and Phoebe took that moment to undo his final button, pushing his trousers from his hip, releasing the man from his constraints.

As Severus wrestled with the trousers, trying to remove them from his ankles, Phoebe climbed onto the bed and slid beneath the covers. She admired the man's entire body and giggled a little to herself until he finally rid himself of his remaining stubborn garment. He walked to the opposite side of the bed, pulled back the covers and slipped in slowly next to her.

Lying on his side, propped up on his right elbow, he stroked her hair again, then traced his thumb over her lips and cheek. Phoebe ran her hand over his chest and down his arm, noticing for the first time the indistinct pattern of a faint tattoo on his left forearm. Her hand came to rest on his hip, applying slight pressure to pull him toward her. He bent to kiss her again, his hand caressing her shoulder, then moving down over her breast. Her eyes were closed and she felt him bestow small kisses across her chest and breasts, down to her stomach, sending shivers to her entire body. Caressing her hips and thighs with his strong hands, he then worked his way back up to her lips, moving his body on top of hers as he did so, supporting his weight on his elbows.

She lifted her hips to his as she felt him seek, then find, pushing himself into her with a groan. Phoebe reached up and pulled his head down so she could kiss him again. She relaxed into his rhythm, arching to receive him time after time, gasping as he brought her closer and closer to release. Wrapping her legs around him, she cried out when he caused her to tip over the edge into an exquisite wave of delight, vaguely aware of him arriving at his own moment of ecstasy, heightening her own sensations. Several moments later he collapsed on top of her, breathing in ragged breaths and she held him, trying to catch her own breath.

He removed himself from her, lying beside her, covering them both with the bed covers as Phoebe rolled onto her side and cuddled up to him. She nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder and Severus held her firmly with the same arm, pressing his lips to the top of her forehead, tracing his fingers over her arm that was draped across him. She closed her eyes, listening to his heart rate slowly return to normal. They remained silent like this for several minutes.

"What were their names?" Severus suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Phoebe lifted her head to look at him, "Their names?" she queried, although she suspected she already knew what he was asking.

"Your children… what did you name your children?" he clarified.

She abruptly sat up, holding her front covered by the blanket, but leaving her back exposed. "Jacob, Skye and Tristan," she answered, her voice shaking a little.

He sat up next to her, placing his arm around her back, "You will get cold," he said, pulling the blanket around her properly. "I have upset you, it was a stupid, thoughtless question to ask," he admitted, "please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive, Severus, it wasn't a stupid question," she said, looking to him. "They have names, we should use them."

"Lie back down," he implored, turning on his side as he lowered himself to the bed again, "please…"

Phoebe allowed him to pull her gently back to lie next to him. He placed his hand over her stomach, "I only asked as I was thinking about names for our baby, I did not mean to be insensitive," he explained.

Phoebe couldn't help but smile, "You were thinking of baby names?" she asked, covering his hand with her own.

He blushed a little, "Yes, well we will have to call him something," he said, slightly flustered.

"Him?" Phoebe questioned, her eyebrows raised.

He snorted sarcastically, "You know what I mean," he said, giving her a stern look.

"They?" she added teasingly.

He suddenly developed a serious look on his face, "Do you have a family history of twin births?"

"No," she said, then suddenly with thoughtful concern, "You?" Phoebe felt a small flutter in her stomach, as he still wore the serious look on his face.

"Severus?" she prompted, as he still hadn't answered a few moments later.

After another short pause, a grin broke out on his face. "No," he assured, "though your expression was priceless," he remarked, with an amused chuckle.

"You cheeky git!" Phoebe accused, shoving him on his shoulder, thoroughly disgusted that he had managed to fool her momentarily. "Don't do that to me." The man reached out and pushed a stray hair from her face.

Suddenly she pulled him into a hug, kissing him fiercely on his lips. "It felt really good, you know."

"What did?" queried Severus.

"You know… just now," she said. "Today has been nice… it felt… right."

Severus looked intensely at Phoebe, "The day is not over yet," he said, pulling her to him into another deep kiss…