"Excuse me?" A baffled Cristina asked, "Did I miss something?"
Owen pulled the emergency stop button. Now was his time to tell her.
"Look Cristina, I think I need to take a step back from us for awhile."
Cristina's heart rate slightly increased and you could hear it in her voice
"What? All because of our 'fight'? Or because I was dancing with Callie and Sloan? Are you kidding me?"
Owen sighed, "It's deeper than that Cristina... Beth told my sister I was back and she came to confront me the morning of your surgery. The pain I'm causing my family hit me really hard. That's why I wasn't there."
He took a moment to inhale and exhale, while Cristina's heart rate slowed to its regularity. Owen looked at Cristina's face, there it was, pity. Cristina felt sorry for him. She remembered his reaction to seeing Beth, and could just imagine how the session with his sister went. Her facial expression softened, thinking of ways to comfort him.
"I hate that I upset you for not being there," he continued.
"It's okay-"
"No! It's not okay! Just like it wasn't okay when I showed up drunk! It's not okay Cristina!"
She took a step back, folding her arms across her chest and allowed him to continue.
"I promised you a damn near lifetime, and I intend on keeping that promise and fulfilling it until the day I die. In order for me to do that, I need to address my problems head on now. No more waiting. The longer I wait the worse it gets. Even though our recent problems have been small, it's still not okay. That's how it begins, starts off little and with time becomes worse. I do not want that for you, not for us."
Cristina only half understood, "Why do we have to apart? I told you I was here for you."
"Cristina, my problems go a lot deeper and darker than panic attacks. I don't want you caught in the crossfire of those. That's the last thing you need."
Owen moved closer to Cristina, gently grabbing hold of her arms.
"Trust me; it's just as hard to be apart from you. I'm thinking about the long haul Cristina. I know this is going to benefit us for the better. Trust me okay. This treatment is going to payoff."
"What treatment?" Cristina asked curiously.
Owen released his gentle hold, "This morning I scheduled appointments with the hospital's therapist, Dr. Wyatt." Cristina rolled her eyes; remember how she called her a terrible shrink.
"What? Is she not good?" Owen asked nervously.
"Oh no… It's just Meredith used to her…but yeah she's good. If she can heal Meredith then she can do anything."
"Alright… I better release this elevator; otherwise people are going to think we're having sex."
Cristina lifted one eye brow, "That's not a bad idea," she said playfully. Owen laughed.
He released the emergency stop button and placed his other hand on Cristina's cheek, cupping it tenderly.
"It's only 20 sessions, I'm sure we can manage," he said with a crooked smile.
As the elevator doors slid open Owen removed his hand from Cristina's cheek, giving her one final smile that reassured her they would make it. Before he could fully exit Cristina grabbed his arm, bringing their bodies close and pressed her lips against his. He weakened and began kissing her back. He positioned his hands around her head, cupping her face. He tried to convey all he felt for her in that kiss and it worked because Cristina's knees turned to jelly. Their lips tasted sweeter each time they touched, making the kiss more intense. Cristina wanted to melt right along with her heart. And she would have if Owen had not pulled away. He walked off the elevator not once looking back. If he did, they just might have had sex on that elevator.
Dr. Wyatt felt it would be best to schedule Owen's sessions after his shifts. She did not know the extent of his disorder or how he would react after their sessions. She would be cautious, for now.
Owen leaned against the wall adjacent to Dr. Wyatt's office. The door to enter scared him. He knew the conversations that lay ahead would exasperate him into anxiety. His first attempt to motion towards the door made his chest tighten. He retreated. The second time his palms began to ooze with sweat. He retreated once more. Anxiety wanted to break through his defense, but he breathed deeply, and shook it off. It was the third try that got him to knock and walk through the door. It was the thought of Cristina and his family that gave him the courage. They were his fuel.