Their last morning in Vancouver Spencer awoke, still tight in Kaidan's arms. Now that was more like it. She had woken before he had and rather then get up right away, she chose to remain there, curled into his arms, head on his chest listening to his heart beat gently. In the background she could just make out the pitter-pattering of rain on the window pane. She couldn't quite decide if she loved the sound today, or was disappointed that the weather had turned on their last day. Just off in the distance she could hear the gentle rumble of thunder. The sound must have been just loud enough as it stirred Kaidan from his slumber.

"Hmm, morning you," he said groggily and then kissing the top of her head.

"Morning," she smiled sleepily.

"So...last night was…new…" Kaidan smirked.

They had never involved any sort of biotic power in anything other than combat. Kaidan was always afraid that he would lose control. That he would hurt someone. That he'd lose himself. Not to mention the migraines that would surely follow. Spencer was always unsure of her implant. Never sure if it would malfunction. She used it more than most L3's did. What if the stress was too much? What if it broke down like the L2's did? Her newest fear was that Cerberus' modifications would cause a change.

"New…good?"

"My lack of migraine and my overall tingley sensation says that yes, new good."

Spencer bent up and kissed Kaidan, "So, what did you have planned today?"

"Well, I don't think that matters. It's pouring rain out there – I can hear it from here," Kaidan kissed her back.

"It does sound like it's raining pretty hard out there. But we could totally go out. See a movie. Go to the beach. Check out the boutiques," Spencer wrapped her leg tightly around Kaidan's.

Kaidan pulled Spencer up so she was straddling him, "Yes, we can definitely do all those things. Absolutely."

If anyone were to ask the couple how they spent their last day that would be exactly what they would say they had done. Their friends would lament, saying how unfortunate it was that the last day's weather was as terrible as it was. They would say that the day must not have been much fun. The couple would smile and nod, saying that it was unfortunate but was still a good day. Of course, they never did leave the bedroom that day. But no one needed to know that. If their friends hadn't have been so excited about the engagement news they may have picked up on the tiny little fib, but thankfully no one ever did.

"Keelah! Look at that ring!" Tali exclaimed, holding tight onto Spencer's hand.

The couple had only been home a couple of days. Spencer didn't even have to call her friends when they got home. No, they already knew and couldn't wait to hear all about it. Kaidan was out with some of the guys, probably at the casino or the arcade. It's funny, as much as Spencer loved time with the girls, she wasn't quite ready for time apart from Kaidan. Her fiancé. That was going to take some time to get used to saying. Despite her reluctance, by the end of the night, Spencer was glad to have had some girl time. It wasn't often that Spencer could indulge her girly side, and it was nice to feel soft sometimes. It was nice to get to talk about the trip also. Even though she would never tell the girls, she was even more glad when they left and she got some alone time.

With Kaidan always away working, Spencer got used to spending time alone. She became accustomed to the quiet. To making dinner for one. To curling into an empty bed, and despite waking up alone she would without fail be on her own side of the bed. Spencer always missed Kaidan when he wasn't there, but now the peace and quiet was almost nice. Comforting. Relaxing. It allowed her to charge her batteries. She wasn't expecting Kaidan home until rather late, it at all. Usually when he went out with the boys she would find him sneaking through the door in the morning while she was making coffee. He would be so careful to be quiet, and when he turned around from closing the door he would find her standing there holding a cup of coffee for him. She loved that he went out to have fun. He loved that she didn't mind that he did. It was always perfect.

This time, however, she knew that he'd be home earlier than that. Part of her wanted to wait up for him, but a large part of her just wanted some sleep. She busied herself with some small tasks around the suit, little chores that had fallen through the cracks the last while. Just little things to see if she could stay awake until he made it home. It was rather late when Spencer feel asleep. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't quite make it until Kaidan came home. She knew he would make it home safe, and that thought carried her off to sleep.

The scene played over and over, again and again in her head. It happened often enough. There was nothing she could do to stop the outcome. Most nights it was as though the moment was playing out on a movie screen. Some nights though, she'd do something different. She'd be faster. Smarter. Stronger. It never mattered. No matter what action her brain created. No matter what substitute her brain placed there, it was always the same. Spencer Shepard always pulled the trigger. The bullet always hit its target. Anderson always died.

Anderson always died. But not of the gunshot wound. No, he survived that. A small piece of metal would never be enough to stop a man like Anderson. The massive pieces of debris falling from the dying Reapers, however, were. Spencer's nightmares stemmed from this moment. If the gunshot wound, inflicted by her hand, was not enough to torment her, then watching helplessly as Anderson was crushed under a Reaper? That certainly was. Watching it over and over, again and again, knowing that she should have stopped it. Could have stopped it. Knowing that she failed.

With his last bit of life, Anderson reached out for Spencer. His eyes pleading her to help him. She ran as fast as she could, but could never make it in time.