Chapter Ten

Time Jump – One Year Later

Clary POV:

Miscarriage. It was the absolute worst word I had ever heard before. I had been so excited to be pregnant. I was already planning everything, and thinking of names, and practically everything and than my world came crashing down around me. Jace had rushed me to the hospital and an hour later they told me I had lost the baby. I cried for the rest of the day. I couldn't handle it. I had always been around death with my fathers allegiance to the family, but I was creating life, and it was the most exciting thing in the world, but when I lost my sweet baby, I felt like somehow, that world would always follow me.

Jace had been truly wonderful throughout the whole thing. He gave me space when I asked, he took care of Cassie when I couldn't, he made sure I ate, and drank, and was healthy. He was truly a god send and I felt like I didn't deserve his kindness, I lost his baby. His one true family member, and I lost it. I was sitting in bed thinking of everything I could have done to save my baby, and I got so overwhelmed that I started packing a bag. I couldn't stay here anymore. I couldn't sleep next to a wonderful man, and playing with Cassie and be a person right now. I just needed to get away. I walked out of my room and started towards the door when I heard him.

"Clary? What are you doing?" Jace asked and I turned around.

"I can't be here right now. I need to leave." I said and he walked towards me.

"What do you mean?" He reached out to touch me but I jerked away.

"I just can't be here right now Jace. I'll be back eventually, but right now, I can't be here." I said and I walked over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and ran out of the house. I knew he didn't deserve me to just up and leave. He had been truly wonderful, but I couldn't do it. I needed time.

Jace POV:

Clary walked out of the house and I stood there completely shocked. I knew she was struggling, and I knew this was hard for her. Hell, it was killing me inside to know that my child was never going to be able to live. I was dying, but I knew it was so much harder for Clary. She went through all that excitement, and planning only for it to be completely destroyed, and than she had to go through all that pain and agony. I knew she was depressed, but I wanted to help. I wanted to be there for her, and I wanted to lean on me and use me as an escape. I shook my head and went to grab my phone. I needed help with Cassie, I couldn't take off that much for work, and I knew Clary would come home, I just didn't know when. I dialed a number and after a few rings she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Iz, I need a favor." I asked.

"Of course. What's up?" She asked.

"You know how hard it's been for Clary and I recently, with the miscarriage and everything she's been really low, and she left."

"What do you mean she left?"

"I mean, she packed a bag and said she needed space." I said and I heard her chock back a sob. "She said she'd be back, but I don't know when that will be. I know she needs her space, but I need someone to watch Cassie while I'm at work."

"I'll be on the next flight. Mind if I bring my boyfriend?" She asked and I was a little surprised.

"I wasn't aware you were seeing anyone." I said and she laughed.

"It's only been a couple months, but I really like him." She said and I smiled.

"Of course. Thanks Iz."

"Everything will be okay Jace. I know this is tough, but you guys will have your happy ending. I know you will." She said and I laughed.

"Thanks Izzy. I'll see you soon." I said and I hung up. I sat back on the couch and before I knew it Cassie was climbing on my lap. "Hey princess."

"Where is mommy?" She asked and I pulled her closer to me.

"Mommy had to go away for a little while." I said.

"Why?"

"You know how you were going to be a big sister?" I said and she nodded. "Well, your brother or sister didn't make it, and mommy is sad."

"Where did they go?" She asked and I smiled.

"They went to heaven baby." I said and she nodded.

"I hope they are happy." She said and I pulled her into a hug.

"Aunt Izzy is coming to stay with us for a little, until mommy gets back." I said and Cassie nodded. I gave her a kiss before she climbed off the my lap and continued to play with her blocks. I watched her and wished that Clary was curled up next to me leaning her head on my shoulder. I needed Clary, because as much as she was hurting, I was hurting too.

Time Jump – Two Weeks Later

Jace POV:

Clary still hadn't come home and I was starting to worry. She hasn't contacted me, or anything and I had no idea if she was alright or not. Having Izzy around was nice, she helped with Cassie so much and I was grateful for that. I wasn't expecting to see Simon standing with her at the door when she showed up, but I mean, who am I to interfere with someone's happiness.

I was in the kitchen making dinner for everyone, and Cassie and I were dancing around listening to music like we've been doing for the past week now. It was one of my favorite parts of the day. She was so carefree, and happy, and that's all I ever want for her. I was in the middle of spinning her around when I looked up and saw Clary.

"Clary." I said and I completely stopped dancing.

"Mommy!" Cassie yelled and ran towards her. Clary knelt down and gave her a hug and a kiss. "I missed you."

"I miss you too." She said and than looked back at me. "Can we talk?"

"Of course." I said and I walked towards her. "Cassie, go find Aunt Izzy, and tell her that Simon needs to finish dinner." I said and she nodded and left. "Let's go to our room." I said and she nodded and we walked to our room. I closed the door and when I turned around Clary was crying. I walked over to her, scooped her up and got into our bed and placed her on my lap. We sat there for a while until she calmed down.

"I'm so sorry." She said and I looked at her. "I shouldn't have taken off like that. I shouldn't have ran, but I didn't know what else to do. I was so angry, and sad, and I just needed to get out of here." She said and I wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I understand Clary." I said and she looked into my eyes. "It's been incredibly hard for me too. I was so angry at everything, and so incredibly sad for our child, and in a way I was grieving by helping you, and making sure you were okay. When you left, I didn't know what to do with myself."

"You were being completely amazing, and I felt like I didn't deserve that." She said and I readjusted her so that she was now straddling me.

"Why?"

"I lost our baby." She said and I couldn't help but smile.

"You had no control over that babe. You were doing everything right, and you couldn't have stopped what happened." I said and she looked at me.

"You don't blame me?" She asked and I couldn't stop the laugh.

"Of course not. We will have children Clary. One day, maybe we weren't ready and this was a sign, but we will have children."

"I kept telling myself that it was my fault, and that you'd hate me, but you just kept proving to me time and time again that you loved me more than anything, and for some reason it became way too much for me." She said and she took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Jace. I love you more than absolutely everything, and I hope that you can forgive me."

"I love you more than you will ever know Clary, and of course I forgive you. I never once blamed you for what happened." I said and I gave her a kiss. "We will get through this Clary, together."

"Together." She repeated and I pulled her into a hug. This was going to be a long journey, but I knew we could overcome it, we just needed to lean on each other and make sure we never feel alone or abandoned.