AN: Chapter 10. I like this one. Taamar as usual is amazing.

Disclaimer: Don't own Torchwood. Still.

Warnings: Umm. Usual, there may be a mention or two of past non-con and dub-con.

Rating: MA

Trevor

Trevor closed his eyes and tried to remember Jason's eyes. That's who he was focusing on tonight. He wanted desperately to push all memories of Brody out of his mind. To not feel so angry. He wanted to focus on the happy things in his life.

Jason's eyes are a striking green, and they sparkle brightly. Jason will protect him from anything. Jason understands and respects limits. Jason's rush reminds him of the drop of a rollercoaster. Jason had been the first one he'd found again.

"I don't believe you really are straight, Mr. Bartender."

A whimper pulled Trevor from his memories. He felt disoriented when he moved, and found his hands unbound. Oh yes, that's right, they'd been rescued. Three months ago. Another whimper, and Trevor opened his eyes.

"It's okay Trevor, just ignore it," Ianto whispered. Trevor looked at him and turned away. He ignored the small scream that came from the top bunk. Not that it bothered him at all that Brody was having a nightmare, he just wished he'd do it quietly. He groaned into his pillow.

Ianto's hand rested on Trevor's back. Trevor flinched away. He didn't want to be comforted, and he didn't want to be touched, especially not by Ianto. He was angry that Ianto hadn't ended Brody; angry that he still had to feel the man's rush when he was trying to forget him. At the moment, Trevor hated everything. He fluffed his pillow maybe a bit too hard and laid flat on his back, staring at the top of the bunk. He felt Ianto shift beside him, but he ignored it. He needed to focus on happy thoughts again.

Jack's eyes are a brilliant blue.

TW—TW—TW

Trevor stared into the blue water of the pool on the ship. He was sitting at a side table with Adrian and sipping a drink John had brought him. Bless John for bringing him a double, Trevor hoped the extra alcohol would help him forget things for a while.

"Trev… can I tell you a story?" Adrian asked. Trevor shrugged, keeping his eyes on the water. "When I was fourteen, my mother sold me to a man."

Narrowing his eyes and hoping Adrian wasn't going where Trevor thought he was going, he looked up. "Yeah, I know that."

"Yes, but… what you don't know, what only Ianto knows… well, he kinda knows, but not really…"

"Adrian… please, if you have something to tell me, just fucking tell me." Trevor rolled his eyes impatiently. He was too exhausted to listen to ramblings.

"I loved him. I… he used me, he forced me to be his whore. Not just calling me one; actually selling me. But… for the first time, I had food, water, and a warm place to sleep. I didn't have to worry about freezing to death. I let myself believe that he regretted selling my body to strangers, that he'd have kept me to himself if he could have, but it wasn't true. He was nice to me… except that he wasn't. You know, because he was forcing me to be a whore."

"Yeah, I know why he wasn't," Trevor sighed irritably, looking back at the water. He didn't like what Adrian was implying.

"When I went through the fifties for the second time… I planned out his death. Imagined it over and over in my head. Then I got there. I was ready, so ready, to end him, and then… I couldn't, because all I wanted to do was kneel at his feet. And you know the worst part? If Ianto hadn't been there… god, I would have."

"Is this the part where you tell me that I've become like you? Is Brody supposed to be like the pimp you loved to me? I don't love him… I don't want to kneel at his feet. I just want to forget him, and that's impossible when he's still here. And if I'm sad, it's because I'm mourning the man he should have been if he hadn't been warped along the way. A man who could have actually loved me, that I might have loved, but he's not that man, and I hate him. I don't love him." Trevor got up and downed the rest of his drink. "I'm going back to the cabin." He could only take so much of Adrian's pity. Of all of them, all of them, he should have been the one to understand, and he didn't.

"Trevor–" Adrian tried, getting up.

"Did you love Max?"

"Of course not! But Brody was nicer to you than Max was to me."

"Brody kidnapped and raped me, then shot me in the back of the head to punish Ianto before he relocated him. Then he fucked me for a hundred years, knowing that, and kidnapped me again. He allowed you to be taken, and I had to watch it all, knowing I couldn't do a damn thing. All the while, he played out this sick fantasy that he and I were an actual couple, and I had to go along with it. In what universe is that 'nice'? I'm not trying to minimize what you went through, but Brody consumed my entire life!" Trevor paused a moment and struggled to catch his breath. Adrian reached for him, but he spun away from the man's grasp.

"Adrian, it's okay that you loved that man, no shame in that at all, but I'm not… that's not what's happening with me…"

Trevor practically ran from the room with tears streaking down his face. He hated feeling this way, so angry. Adrian had been the one who kept him sane, and all Trevor wanted was to rage at him for not understanding. It was so hard to control his temper. All his emotions, actually; at any moment he could burst into tears or laugh out loud or scream his fury at the universe.

He didn't stop until he reached the cabin and had closed the door behind him. He sank to the floor and cried into his hands.

"Shh…what's wrong love," Brody's voice came. Trevor looked up to see Brody sitting cuffed to the bed across from Max, who was staring at the ground. He could feel their rushes crowding him, like his very mind was being violated. "Come here, beautiful..." Brody's voice soothed.

The tenderness in Brody's voice sickened Trevor. It felt obscene, and poisoned every gesture of comfort he'd been offered since the rescue. He looked down at his feet, wondering if affection would ever feel clean again. He wished there were a place he could go to cry without having to feel Brody's presence. The ship had no privacy.

"Let me kiss your tears away."

"Shut up!" shouted Trevor.

"You don't speak to me that way!" Brody spat, shifting gears. Trevor felt his body tense. "Get over here now," he demanded.

The door opened with a swoosh, and Trevor felt himself being lifted off the ground by his arms. "Come on Trevor, leave the prisoners alone," Ianto said. Trevor tried to escape, but Ianto held on.

"Let me go, let me go!" cried Trevor while Brody shouted, "Get away from him!"

Ianto's hand shut the door to the cabin before he wrapped both arms around Trevor. "No. Shh, calm down you're okay, I just want to talk."

Trevor tried to relax, not wanting Ianto to see him falling apart. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't want to talk, don't want you touching me… I'm so angry. Why is he still alive?"

Ianto released Trevor and took a step back. "What you're going through is completely normal."

Trevor shook his head. "Stop trying to fucking psychoanalyze me! I'm not going through anything. I just don't understand why you're forcing me to sleep in the same room with him… to feel his rush. I just want to forget, but it's impossible when he's always there, watching me!"

Ianto narrowed his eyes. "Stay out of that cabin. That's an order."

"What, now you care? Seems like back in that hotel room you were more concerned about him!" He shoved Ianto aside as he stormed away.

Ianto

"Are you ready?" Ianto smiled at Adrian. They'd stopped at a communication center on the planet where they were currently docked. The sound of ringing filled the room, and Adrian nodded, biting his lip.

"Torchwood Cardiff, this is Tammy… Minister? Oh god, it's so good to see you, and… Adrian, oh dear, I've been so worried about you," Tammy exclaimed.

"It's nice to see you, Tammy." Adrian smiled.

"Can you fetch Jack and Jason for us?" Ianto asked. Tammy nodded and left the view of the monitor. Ianto turned to look at Trevor, who was sitting –no, kneeling– on the floor looking at his hands. Adrian said to just let him do things like that, told him it made Trevor feel safer to be in the position he'd become accustomed to with Brody. Adrian said it would take time, but slowly Trevor would begin to regain his sense of self; all they needed to do was support him… and possibly find a Child who knew some things about psychology to have him talk to.

"Mon amour," Jason's voice called out joyfully, and Ianto turned back toward the screen. He smiled softly at Jack, who was standing behind Jason, but kept quiet as Jason and Adrian exchanged I love you, I've missed you, and I'm sorrys. Truthfully, Ianto didn't know what they were sorry for, it wasn't their fault they'd been separated, but he didn't press to find out.

"What about Trevor?" Jack asked finally, interrupting Jason and Adrian's sweet-fest.

Ianto looked back at the boy still kneeling on the floor. He'd had to order him to come, and now it seemed he'd have to order him to talk to Jack and Jason. "He's right here," Ianto said, hoping that would be good enough for Trevor to get up and talk to his worried guardian. It wasn't. "Trevor, come see Jack."

Trevor looked up, his eyes red and swollen again. Poor guy was having a rough go of things, alternating between anger and despondency. Ianto gave him an encouraging smile as he stood to give Trevor the seat. Trevor eyed it suspiciously, then sat. "Hello," he choked out without looking at the screen.

"Hey, there you are," Jack greeted him affectionately. Trevor dropped his head into his hands and started to shake. Jack looked up at Ianto in alarm. "Is it something I said?"

Ianto shook his head and fought the urge to put a comforting hand on Trevor's back. "No, he's just having a hard time adjusting."

"Oh…Trev, I'm sorry buddy, wish I could hold you," Jack said. Trevor rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sobbed harder. "Hey, look at me."

Trevor looked up. "You're so strong and so brave; you'll get through this, we'll get you through this," Jack promised. Trevor sniffled softly, wiping a tear from his face.

"Can I please…?" Trevor didn't have to finish the sentence for Ianto to understand.

"John, would you take Trevor back to the ship, please?" Ianto asked. John was leaning against the wall. He nodded to Ianto and pushed off.

"Good to see you again Jack. Come on, Trev."

"Don't call me that, we aren't friends," snapped Trevor.

Trevor had been lashing out a lot lately, everyone was used to it. Ianto watched sadly as his former PA walked out of the room with John following behind. "Make sure my pet gets back to the ship before takeoff," John teased with a wink at Adrian.

"My pet," Jack called as the door closed behind John.

Ianto raised his eyebrow. "Not a pet," he said, pointing to himself.

"Of course not," Jack smiled. "But we should keep the collar."

"For you to wear, yes. I was thinking the same thing." Ianto grinned. He'd missed the banter, and the idea of Jack in the collar made him, well–

Adrian cleared his throat, reminding Ianto that there was still much to discuss, and little time to do it. "Anyway, as you can see, John and I found Adrian and Trevor. Max, and Brody–"

"I knew it," interrupted Jason.

"Brody? But…"

Ianto exhaled slowly. He's been dreading this whole conversation. "The Brody that came through the Rift in front of you was Brody in his third life. He's been playing us from the start. I'm still not sure when the second Brody came through, he's not talking much."

"Why would he be talking at all?" Jason questioned. Ianto shifted.

"Well, I mean… I don't want to spend eternity looking over my shoulder wondering when Max or Brody will come back and… you know screw with us again, so…"

"You've taken them prisoner instead of executing them?" Jack guessed.

"Yes."

"So, we're going to do what with them?"

"Put them in a cell… you know, forever," Ianto replied.

"And what happens when we leave Earth?" Jack asked.

Ianto bit his lip. "We can't leave, not until Trevor recovers."

An instant chorus of "Of course," "Duh," and, "You better believe it," was the response of his friends.

Ianto sat back in his seat and let out a breath. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I'd just believed him over Brody."

"Well…" Jack began. Ianto looked up, stricken. "Nah, probably not, this isn't your fault, Yan. It's…"

"No. It is my fault. I… slept with Brody, I allowed him to fall in love with me. I knew he wasn't stable… I just… I was blind to needs of my charge, and that's why he turned to Max and allowed the man to corrupt him. Because I…"

"Ianto, stop making it about you," snapped Adrian.

"I'm not," Ianto defended.

"Yeah, you kinda are," Jason agreed with Adrian.

Ianto's eyes met Jack's and he realized his lover felt the same way. "Okay, fine. No more about me or it being my fault. We need to focus on Trevor."

For the rest of the hour the four men discussed their favorite strawberry blond. Adrian did most of the talking, explaining what he and Trevor had been through and how he'd noticed the shift in Trevor's attitude after the night Max had tried to whip the Welshman. He said that was when Trevor had become the perfect captive. Well, maybe not perfect, he'd had some slip ups, but nothing that got him noticed by Max again. When the hour was almost up, Adrian dropped a bombshell by explaining that he'd loved the man that had forced him into prostitution all those years ago.

Ianto had known that Adrian loved the man, but not the full extent of it, and he hadn't realized that before Adrian had died his first death he'd had a chance to escape and hadn't taken because he didn't want to leave the man. Or that the reason Adrian had cried every night for the first few months after his relocation was that he'd missed the bastard. He ended his story by admitting that he hadn't let go of his feelings for the man, whose name Ianto finally learned was Etienne, until he'd met Jason and felt true love.

John

"Can I just have a minute… alone with-" Trevor began.

"No." John cut him off.

Trevor looked down at his feet muttering something John couldn't hear. John found himself wishing he'd stayed on the ship with Mia.

"What would you say?" John asked. He thought about Jack's brother Grey and, should ever happen to see the bastard again, what he would say. Nothing pleasant, he was sure.

"It's not really any of your business, is it?" Trevor snapped. John had about had it with the boy's attitude. Intellectually, he knew than man was older than he, but Trevor looked so damn young.

John stopped walking and grabbed Trevor's arm. Trevor tried to pull away but John held tight and led him into a small area in between a few shops. He smiled at a woman who was giving the pair an evil eye before telling her to bugger off and pressing Trevor up against a wall. "You want to know what I think."

"No!" Trevor growled, trying to pry John's hand off him.

"I think you need to focus all those irrational emotions into something else."

"Like what? Painting?" Trevor sneered.

"If you'd like," John laughed, releasing Trevor's arm and stepping back, only to have Trevor grab him and force him into the other wall before crashing their lips together in a brutal kiss. John submitted to it and whined when it ended. "Though that's a better choice, if you ask me."

"I'm... I don't know why I did that…"

"Control," said John with a shrug. "I liked it, don't worry." He reached out his hand to touch Trevor's cheek only to have the man pull away.

"Let's get back to the ship."

"Are you sure? We could go get a drink or rent a room?" John replied, only half teasing.

"I guess… umm, a drink could be nice."

John held out his hand and, surprisingly, Trevor took it.

TW—TW—TW

"So, was the story about your relocation true? Did Ianto really do it?" Trevor asked. He and John were sitting beside each other at a bar drinking vodka because the planet didn't have scotch. Not a place John wanted to be long.

"Yeah. It's a rather long story." John looked down at his drink as he spoke and twisted the glas sin his hands. He wasn't proud of himself for what he'd done, and he wasn't sure he wanted to discuss his cowardice with Trevor.

Trevor shoved John shoulder. "Well? We have a bit of time, don't we?"

"I caused the bombs in Cardiff in 2008 because a man attached a bomb to my arm and I was too scared to end my first life to go against his demands. So I not only let others die, but got Jack buried under Cardiff for two thousand years, and also got his friends killed. Not exactly his friends, I suppose; Ianto had cloned them to save them, so it wasn't quite as bad, but I didn't know that at the time. Anyway…" he trailed off.

"That wasn't a very long story," Trevor replied dryly.

John shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

"I'm assuming the man was Gray? Jack's brother?"

"Yep. He… I found him, I thought that I was rescuing him. I thought he liked me… I deserved it though, everything he did. You didn't."

"What, what Gray did? Or Ianto relocating you?"

"Both, really. Ianto did what he had to do. I'm over it. "

"He wouldn't relocate Brody." Trevor knocked back his drink, and John got the feeling he was gathering courage. "Twice Brody held me captive. After everything that man did to me, Ianto risked me to save him. How can I trust him ever again? How can I look at him, knowing he loved my murderer more than me?" he drew a shuddering breath. John watched him in silence, sensing that there was more.

"Brody watches me, you know. I've had to share a room with him. I don't want to want to be near him, can't stand feeling his rush. I hate him. He… he did awful things to me, and he stood by and allowed Max to… beat Adrian. I just want to kill him; if you'll just give me five minutes I could do it. Five minutes, just turn your back. That's all it would take. I'm sorry, I know you can't, I'm just so fucking angry," Trevor was openly crying now, and John felt a bit uneasy. He really didn't like crying people.

"Hey, shh… umm, I mean, Adrian says it's normal. It happens to a lot of people who go through things like this. You just have to focus those emotions somewhere else… as I said earlier."

"I... thanks?" Trevor sniffed rubbing his eyes.

John stood up and downed the rest of his drink. "Come on. Let's go back to the ship. They have better drinks."

TW—TW—TW

"You stand out here and I'll get the towels, then we'll see what kinda gorgeous people we can find in the hot tub," John teased as he and Trevor walked back to the cabin. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Trevor had stopped dead.

"I can't feel Max."

John closed his eyes and focused a moment. He could feel Brody, but not Max. He quickly drew his gun and opened the door. Max was nowhere to be found, and Brody sat unrestrained on the bottom bunk. "Fuck." He hauled Brody off the bunk and shoved him to his knees on the floor "Where the fuck is he?"

"Fuck you!"

John hit the bastard with the butt of his gun, effectively knocking him out. Of course, John knew it wouldn't last long, so he quickly reattached the man's restraints and latched him back to the bed.

"Did you kill him?" Trevor said, kneeling down beside Brody and wiping the blood off his head.

Brody was already coming to. "I stayed for you,' he whispered to Trevor, and John felt the urge to knock him out again.

Adrian

"First rule: If we leave this cabin we do so together. No exceptions… especially you," Ianto said, pointing a finger at Adrian. Adrian stuck his tongue out and climbed up onto one of the top bunks. He felt distinctly odd.

"Oh come on Minister, I don't want to be stuck in this cabin with all of you… I'm a free spirit. I need to be able to go where I please." Mia pouted.

"Yes, and when you want to go where you please, take John along," Ianto ordered. Mia made a face and climbed up onto the bunk with Adrian. Adrian grinned happily at her.

"He had to have had some sort of help. Someone on the ship that recognized them," John mused.

"No… I mean, not unless they were normal humans. I scanned the ship when we came aboard and after we took off. If there were other Children I'd have felt them. Jason and I tried out my range once; two miles if I really concentrate," Adrian was only barely paying attention to the conversation; he was eating some sort of crunchy chip covered in artificial cheese, and his fingers were intriguingly orange. Alien Cheetos. Yum.

"So if Max were still on the ship you'd be able to tell?" John said. Adrian nodded. He didn't know why, but he was sorta glad Max was gone. It was a relief not to feel his filthy rush, like a weight had been lifted. No time to dwell, though; Mia was trying to steal his alien Cheetos.

"Brody, you still not wanting to tell us anything?" Ianto asked. Adrian looked across at the other bunk where they'd put Brody. The man was sitting with his back turned, pretending not to hear Ianto.

Adrian pushed Mia's hand away from his food before lying back in the bed and putting another crisp in his mouth. "Maybe he'll leave us alone now?"

"Are you high?" Mia laughed.

"What? Why, no… I'm not…" Adrian giggled.

"He is, we ate lunch at this place and he ate far too many brownies," Ianto smirked, running his fingers through his hair.

"The lady wanted to know why I could still stand." Adrian grinned down at John. "You're pretty, did you know? Great hands, and lips that–"

"Adrian, give me the crisps and go to sleep," interrupted Ianto. Adrian stuck out his bottom lip, but handed Ianto the bag of alien Cheetos anyway.