A/N: This is the first part of an AU when M'gann goes into reproductive heat while the Original 7 are still assembled. I'd include Rocket, but I don't feel like I can do Raquel justice. Not until she gets... you know... some character development.
I've been trying to fit this all into one fic, but the half-assed biology guestimations are taking longer than expected. Don't be surprised if the second part of this is separated by other fics. I SHALL COMPLETE IT THOUGH.
As always, reviews feed my plot bunnies.
Every day she comes back from the beach with handfuls of beach glass and little rocks. She starts cleaning the cave obsessively and replacing certain bulbs with black lights.
Finally, the team sits her down for an intervention.
"M'gann. We've noticed your... strange behaviour lately." Kaldur begins.
"Why did you fill my room with macrame owls?" Dick says.
"It's cool if you're just playing us the song of your people or whatever, but we'd kinda like to know in advance." Artemis adds.
M'gann sighs before speaking, "I actually have no idea what I'm doing. It's all just impulse. I'll see a tile floor and suddenly my brain demands that I install shag carpeting and build some kind of... dog bed on it. I'm horny all the time, and I keep trying to microwave sand!"
Conner clears his throat a little and has the smuggest look on his face. She flicks him.
"Have you considered asking Martian Manhunter if these urges are normal?" Kaldur sighs.
"I've been too afraid to! What if it means that I'm dying or something?"
"We always think the worst when there's something off about our physiology. It's best to just get it off your mind by asking." Dick says.
She nods in defeat.
"Oh M'gann. You are just nesting that's all." J'onn laughs.
"Nesting occurs in pregnant mammals when they are about to give birth. Usually the one nesting creates a soft space for one's young." Conner recites from his mental definition.
Then he looks scared shitless.
"But we can't-I thought you said-How could I-I mean we never used a-"
"That is true on Earth. Martian nesting is all about attracting a mate to one's space for the time of spawning. Ready males will spend months perfecting the perfect clutching spot for any potential female. Since there are no male Martians around, it's likely your biology picked up the slack. I was about your age when I made my first nest. I remember walking sixteen kilometres to find this soft yellow grass to line the hollows with." He sighs wistfully.
M'gann's eyes may actually bug out of her head. The others watch her with trepidation.
"You're saying that I'm installing shag carpet because I'm about to lay eggs all over the cave?"
"Eww."
Artemis elbows Wally hard.
"Hmm. I can see how this is a problem. Without a mate to fertilize the eggs they will simply decay and attract unnecessary predators."
"And be really gross."
Wally winces waiting for Artemis to elbow him again, but she shrugs.
"Yeah, it's pretty gross."
M'gann hisses at them and they try for apologetic.
"If I could fertilize M'gann's eggs I would."
"TMI-"
"-Shut up! But, as it is, I don't think I'd be able to and any attempts would be traumatising to everyone present. On Earth. And Mars. Forever." Conner trails off with a haunted look.
"Are you talking about like... egg bukkake or...?"
"Ew Artemis!"
"Everyone was thinking it!"
They all watch M'gann groan and try to hide her face further into her hands.
"Could we try some kind of in-vitro fertilization with Conner's... DNA before she spawns?" Dick asks.
J'onn strokes his chin thoughtfully.
"We Martians are capable of changing our bodies on a cellular level. She could potentially produce a hybrid with Superboy."
"Wait, why are we seriously discussing Conner and me having kids?"
Conner grabs M'gann's hand and looks her in the eye, "M'gann, it seems like your body has made its mind up anyway. I know we haven't talked about it much, but I'd really like to have little green babies with you."
She snuffles a little and squeezes his hand.
"If I tried to get pregnant the human way, would it prolong my spawning instinct? Or would the incubated fetus be spawned too?"
"I'm no professor on the subject, and I certainly haven't attempted it myself. However, should you change your reproductive organs to a human or kryptonian female's, the reproductive method would change with the organs."
"So... no gooey unhatched eggs covering the sofa?"
"Theoretically, no."
"Score."
M'gann looks uncomfortable at the idea.
"Alternately, I could arrange a shuttle back to Mars for you. You could do your spawning there and return when you are done."
The grip on her folded arms tightens and her eyes are bright with unshed tears.
"You mean she could just abandon her unhatched children?"
"On Mars we have communal families. I'm sure one of M'gann's clutchmates wouldn't mind looking after them."
The room is silent. The team can feel the distress radiating off M'gann in waves. Conner squeezes her shoulder and sends a rush of love towards her.
'I'll do my best to support you whatever you choose.'
'We all will, M'gann. This choice cannot be easy for you.' Kaldur adds.
Artemis tugs her friend into a hug and feels the other girl begin to sob into her shoulder. J'onn hovers awkwardly as the rest of the team moves in closer to comfort M'gann.
The decision keeps her awake more than Dick's fear of macrame owls. She tosses and turns restlessly before getting up to make ten pies and clean the living room a third time.
She wishes that her reproduction was a choice she could make when she was ready, not just some biological timebomb waiting to go off. If she's honest with herself she admits to the fantasies of a suburban home with Conner and little boys and girls with blue eyes and freckles. Humans typically have enough offspring to replace their own numbers. Three kids is a large number in the Western hemisphere. On Mars they lay upwards of 5-15 eggs a clutch.
If she were to suggest that number to him their neighbours would think them religious fanatics.
"C'eridyall." She murmurs.
"I half expected you to be listening to 'Hip to be Square' and vaccuming by now." Conner says from the doorway.
She staggers over and collapses against him. She talks into his chest, and despite his superhearing, is incoherent.
"Could you repeat that, please?"
"How the hell would I be able to carry a baby inside me for nine months? That's creepy and ridiculous!"
Conner's eyes widen. Her voice becomes static as he panics at the thought of a pregnant M'gann in the field. THEY NEED TO CHILDPROOF THE BASE.
It vaguely registers in his mind that M'gann is making gestures of trying to shove her fist through a tiny "O" created by her fingers.
"Plus, I'd have some kind of watermelon bulge. How do Earth people find this attractive?"
"We're not Earth people."
"Other 'Meatbags' then?"
He grabs her hands and presses a kiss to the back of each.
"I'll always find you attractive. Even when you decide you want to make love to me as a big-breasted Batman."
She smiles at the memory.
(Later, Black Canary would watch the security feed and save the recording. Payback's a bitch, Bruce.)
"And this is why I need to find my own place."
They turn to see a pyjama-clad Zatanna staring at them in horror.
"I made pie."
"We should probably talk to Dubbilex about knocking you up." Conner says over pie.
Zatanna makes a noise through her rhubarb.
M'gann absently ruffles Zatanna's hair and wipes some errant crumbs of her chin.
"I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mom."
The other two just give her a fish-eyed look and clear their minds of the 'really?'. Conner stays quietly neutral and nods.
"It's not too late to hook up with some random on Mars. He'll bring wine, you'll pop out a few dozen eggs, he'll-"
"EATING!" Zatanna cries.
M'gann huffs, "I don't see what humans find so gross about spawning. It's just reproduction."
"When I don't use the eggs I'm provided with for reproduction, they ooze out my vagina in blood and tissue clots."
Conner frowns with a nod at Zatanna's explanation.
M'gann gags.
The next day the three of them have dark circles around their eyes as Kaldur debriefs them on what should be a simple stealth and reconaissance mission.
"So, we'll have been shot at, expose an evil plan, and quell a drug trade-slash-civil war by the day is done?" Dick asks cheekily.
"Probably." Kaldur shrugs.
Artemis drags Wally with her as she sidles over to M'gann.
"Hey, we just wanted to apologise for any hurt feelings we caused with our comments about your biology. You're going through a really tough decision, and you don't need any of that."
Wally blinks before Artemis elbows him, "Ow! I was getting to it. Biology's my specialty, and I shouldn't be so easily queasy about it. So, if you are going to try and breed with Conner, I'd like to help."
"For the last time, Wally, you can't watch." Conner groans.
"Not what I meant!"
"If that offers ever on the table I already called dibs." Artemis says proudly.
"You mean on the table again." Kaldur corrects.
She tilts her head at his smirk as it registers. This is followed by pointed fingers and high fives.
Conner flushes and M'gann grows an extra arm so she can triple facepalm herself.
Batman clears his throat.
"How long has he been standing there?"
"The whole time."
"Hormones." Batman grumbles.